Retired Police Chief Desmond Howard only wanted to open a game store in the small town, so why does he have to deal with monsters destroying the shop and a thieving witch? And what's this about monsters not killing? And when exactly did he and his new shop get transported into this wonderland? Welp, one thing is for sure, he ain't going to be bored in retirement at least. (Standard Harem warning with every chapter being ~2500 words.) This is a cross-post Touhou Project Fanfiction and will catch up sooner or later to er peers.