In SerialThey Shall Call Me EMPRESS (Cultivation Tales of an Isekai'ed Life Coach) Fantasy Xianxia Comedy Action Adventure Martial Arts
Meet Lynn Lee: yoga instructor, personal trainer, life coach, and smoothie enthusiast...
Not a mystical martial artist.
Lynn is nobody special, and yet she awakens to find herself in somebody else's body in a merciless medieval world of martial arts cultivators and superhuman muscle wizards. And, what's more, the quirky meditation technique she's been practicing for years somehow gives her an edge over most of the locals. The only question is... will Lynn survive long enough to take advantage of it?
They Shall Call Me EMPRESS is my quirky take on the cultivation novel, a story of a fitness enthusiast Cali girl transported into a realm of immortal warriors and trying to survive... and maybe even thrive beyond her wildest imagination.
Chapter updates on Sunday, Wednesday, and Friday. Plus, sometimes I accidentally upload chapters on Tuesdays, which will either stand in for the Wednesday chapter or be a weekly bonus chapter. It is a mystery!
Please also check out my other novel, The Shadows Become Her
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Chapter Selections
1. 1. I Swear I've Never Been a Cannibal
2. 2. Wrong Body? Wrong Era? Wrong Planet?
3. 3. It's the Science That Was Wrong!
4. 4. A Grave Disservice to Raw Sewage
5. 5. Brave... in a Very Doomed and Foolish Sort of Way
6. 6. Cycle of the Empowered Buddha
7. 7. This Wasn't a Manga. I Am Not a Turtle.
8. 8. Everybody Thinks I'm a Crap Cultivator
9. 9. Bad Romance with the Impressionable Girl
10. 10. I Accidentally Drugged Our Hosts?
11. 11. Dragonfruit Mango Mint Cultivator Smoothie Included
12. 12. Taking a Mulligan
13. 13. A Big, Ghostly Finger
14. 14. Hangry for Magical Energy
15. 15. If This Is Good Karma, You Can Keep It
16. 16. Blown Into the Bardo
17. -New Patreon Announcement!-
18. 17. I Think the Medical Term is a 'Shart'
19. 18. Knock the Rest of the Teeth Right Out of His Face
20. 19. Dressed Like a Common Trollop
21. 20. Tempest of the Cold Heart
22. 21. It's In the Tabloids A Lot
- In Serial543 Chapters
Xianshi Inn (A contemporary Xianxia novel)
He left his home, unwillingly, to a realm of cultivation, Xianshu, mythical manuals and Dao. And now he’s here due to a failed attempt at going home, a place bears a lot of resemblance but not the same. “At least it’s close enough here. I’ll get there on my next jump.” Jianmen Yu said to himself, “But while I’m prepping, let me do my old job here for a bit.” And there we have it, “Xianshi Inn”, run by a cultivator, who’s not of this world. Don’t mess with it or its employees, the owner will kick your ass, no matter who you are, no matter WHAT you are.
8 340 - In Serial57 Chapters
A Void Spirit's Slightly Psychotic Tale
Being a kid is hard. Being the equivalent as a spirit is even harder. What will our protagonist do when it learns that life isn't all fun and games? Come along as a new spirit sees the world and grows, from dumber than a doorknob to quite the intellectual. With the occasional stumble here and there. (*No it is not a reincarnator*)
8 182 - In Serial33 Chapters
Nandemonogatari: A New Story of Something Else
New chapters every 10 days! *Currently on brief hiatus. We will return shortly! With the loss of Miyafuji High School, it's time for a new year and a new school for the Paranormal Club. Not only that, but new members and new adventures too! At Zonzai High School, the premier school for gifted children in Japan, things are run a little different. Each club will fight for supremacy in weekly challenges, with winners rising through the ranks and losers falling to shoddier accommodations. But there may be more action at this school than is sanctioned, and old fights may bubble back to the forefront for our Paranormies. This is the 2nd book in an ongoing series. Be sure to read the 1st novel, Nandemonogatari: The Story of Something Else here on Royalroad first!
8 198 - In Serial28 Chapters
Legend of the Guild: Point Blank
Status: On hiatus indefinitely, because I'm going to be busy and the story is now at a place where it needs major reconstruction. Curt is a young gunslinger from a small town called Ore Town, situated in a barren wasteland known as the Dusts. While sabotaging the gang threatening his town, Curt is forced to take a leap of faith, literally. He plunges into the sea of clouds expecting death, only to arrive in an entirely new world beneath his own. Saved by a young girl using magic, Curt isn't too sure what to make of his second chance of life. When he meets a fellow Duster who had fallen years ago, he's roped into becoming second-in-command of a brand new guild. Guild duties aren't easy, especially as Curt is tasked to recruit fighters to take on the Grand Guild Tournament, where the winning guild takes home an enormous prize pool -- and most importantly, a mysterious ticket to the fabled "Star City" that exists above the clouds. Going with the flow only takes him so far, and Curt soon finds himself burdened with more responsibility than he bargained for, including the fate of the two worlds. ==============================Wordpress This webnovel is written for fun, and everything posted is essentially a first draft. Beware of typos and lack of creative descriptions — my main priority is to get the story out over writing quality. Still, I hope you enjoy the story. Updates are sporadic, but I aim to release a chapter (~2000-3000 words) at least once a week. Average release time is 1 chapter/3 days. I took inspiration from the lore of the MMO, Dungeon Fighter Online (Dungeon & Fighter), and there may be easter eggs or references to the game, but the story and characters have become wholly original and standalone. [Note: Profanity tag is up because profanity is present, but infrequent]
8 139 - In Serial20 Chapters
Ten Thousand Sallys
Imagine waking up in a hospital room, you can barely move. No one comes when you call. The only other person present is a little boy, who is, surprisingly, more help than you would expect. What would you do? This is the exact situation Sally finds herself in. Almost immediately she discovers that nothing is what she thinks it is. Not the boy, not the hospital, maybe not even herself. She is in deep trouble and the consequences will be dire if she can’t find a way out. She is a fighter, though, and just doesn't quit. As a baseline human, she starts as the lowest of the low and has to claw her way up in spite of being tangled in a shifting web of schemes and plots. She has to do her best, and maybe her best is pretty good. As Sally uncovers more about her situation, she finds that she has to be smart and tough and that in this place she needs to depend on her friends, who are using her as much as she is using them. This book contains themes concerning life, death, and body functions, light swearing, minimal nakedness, and should be suitable for most. Some pertinent info: Ten Thousand Sallys is a complete novel of approximately 140 pages in 20 chapters. Around 80,000 words. not too long, and maybe too short. Give it a read and let me know your opinion.
8 226 - In Serial12 Chapters
Reincarnation of The Butcher Alchemist
In a High grade World where the strong killed the weak as they please. Fu was only a common Butcher, but one day he met an injured Alchemist that he saved. After 200 years, from when he became the Alchemists student to now, where he was known as the infamous Butcher Alchemist Fu that stood at the peak of this World has unexpectedly died while fighting a dragon in an Ancient Ruin over a book. After that. He woke up in a different body, in a Low grade World, with a dragon corpse and the book he died for. Will he surpass his past life or will he die along the journey?
8 76
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