I heard if you miss enough days of Sietse’s daily fitness challenges, he comes out of the screen and strangles you like some kind of Dutch boogeyman.

-Unrepentant Couch Potato

Chapter 267 - When is the Wedding? It’s Time for a Lov...

Lin Feng looked into Tang Bingyao’s eyes, her face right in front of his. He felt a shiver run down his body, but blamed it on the cold weather. “But, but I’m not talking,” he argued, confused. What’s going on? Why is she right in my face? Do I have something on my face? Is there some food there…? He tried to move his hand, but Tang Bingyao pushed it back down, staring at him. “Tang Tang…”

“You’re still talking! I told you to shut up!” Tang Bingyao pouted, stamping her foot on the ground.

Lin Feng shook his head. What is this? She’s lost it! She’s completely lost it! The alcohol has made her go crazy! He hesitated, considering to just stop talking. But then his mouth got the better of him. He muttered in a barely discernible voice, “You really can’t hold your booze at all. I ain’t drinking with you again…”

Tang Bingyao lightly pinched Lin Feng’s cheeks and glared at him. “Did… did you say something? I told you to stop talking and listen to me!”

Lin Feng slowly nodded, his eyes wide in horror. What does she want? Why is she doing this? I didn’t do anything! I’m really good at running home too! Let me go, please!

“Mhm! That’s a good boy,” Tang Bingyao said, nodding in satisfaction. “Ok, ok. Listen. I need to tell you something. Ok?”

Lin Feng kept nodding, pursing his lips together. Just tell me already… I don’t like this! I’m really good at feeling uncomfortable too! And… You’re drunk!

Tang Bingyao chewed on her lips, looking at Lin Feng’s mouth. I can say it… I can! Mhm! Say it! She felt butterflies lifting her stomach up and her cheeks flaring scarlet. She said, “I…”

Lin Feng was still nodding. Yes, yes. You! You something! Move it along, please! It’s cold! I want to go home and curl up under my blanket! Did I mention that I’m really good at curling up under my blanket too?

“I… I-I…” Tang Bingyao muttered. Her entire body began trembling and shaking. “I… I-I…” A dizzy spell assaulted her, making her vision spin and her eyes suddenly felt incredibly heavy. “L-Ling Feng, I… I… I lov…” She trailed off before she could finish her sentence, her eyes closing and her face falling on Lin Feng’s shoulder.

Lin Feng moved his head a bit to the side to try and get a look at what Tang Bingyao was doing, keeping his lips tightly sealed the whole way through. But after a good several seconds of nothing happening, except for soft snoring sounds, his impatience got the better of him. He lightly pushed her away and asked, “What did you want to say? You lov what? What’s that even mea— Hey! Tang Tang! Wake up!” He shook her. At first gently, but then with a bit more force. “Wake up, Tang Tang! Wake up!” But Tang Bingyao was already fast asleep.

Lin Feng looked around at his surroundings. They were on their usual route. It was a little further until the intersection where they usually went their separate ways. “Tang Tang! Come on! Don’t do this to me! I don’t know where you live! Please! Wake up! Wake up!”

Tang Bingyao wrapped her arms around Lin Feng and buried her face into his neck, leaning on him with her full weight. She was smiling and mumbling incoherently.

“Aaaah! Wake up! Wake up! WAKE UP!” Lin Feng shouted. But there was no response. Tang Bingyao was fast asleep. He grimaced and shook his head, mumbling quietly, “I’m never drinking with you again!” What do I do with her now? I don’t even know where she lives! Maybe I can call Ren Rou? But what if she’s in bed already? I don’t want to wake her up… Is there a home phone number I should know? No… Dammit. He glanced at Tang Bingyao again. I can’t leave her here either… Can I? There’s a bench over there… He shook his head in frustration and mumbled, “I can’t do that.”

Lin Feng chewed on his lips, considering his option. He was desperately wrecking his brains on finding a solution, but nothing was coming to mind. He finally sighed. Fine, I’ll take you to my place. You can sleep it off… He put his arm behind her knees and the other around her shoulders, and then lifted her up. “I’m never drinking with you again,” he grumbled as he started walking home.

✹

KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK! KNOCK-KNOCK-KNOCK!

“STOP KNOCKING! I’M COMING!” Su Xue shouted. “Seriously! How many times are you going to forget your keys!? Your memory is the worst! Bring your damn keys with you! I’m going to sew them to your arms! You’ll never forget them again!” She stopped in front of the door and pulled it open with all her might before continuing, “Why can’t you just remember to bring your damned ke—”

Su Xue stopped talking. Her mouth fell open. She stared at Tang Bingyao leaning on Lin Feng’s shoulder, barely conscious. “W-what the… Are you… Did you… Is she…” Did he bring her over for sex? Why did he forget his keys? I don’t wanna know this… OR SEE IT! She abruptly turned around and stomped away, only to stop herself halfway back to her room. She looked back over her shoulder and scrunched her eyebrows. “Uh, Lin Feng?” She briefly waited to get his attention and then asked, “Isn’t it her birthday? How did she… How did the two of you end up like this? What happened?”

Lin Feng struggled to carry Tang Bingyao inside and had her sit down on a stool. He then turned to look at Su Xue and explained, “Yeah, it’s her birthday. We were celebrating with a few drinks, but she can’t handle her alcohol at all! And she didn’t warn us or anything! Well, then I had to walk her back home. But guess what? She passed out on me! Right there on the street! And she wouldn’t wake up either! I don’t even know where she lives and the others are probably in bed already!” He scratched the back of his head and continued, “And, uhh, well, now we’re here…”

Su Xue’s eyes went wide. She rushed to the kitchen and came back seconds later with a bucket. “IN HERE!” she shouted at Tang Bingyao, whose eyes were opening, as she shoved the bucket into Tang Bingyao’s arms.

Tang Bingyao looked down at the bucket in her hands and then up to see where it came from. “Oh, it’s Su Xue!” she exclaimed. “Hiiiiii!” And then the bile and vomit came up from her stomach. She retched and puked into the bucket. The sour, rotten egg, disgusting smell of alcohol quickly filled the apartment. Then, seconds after puking everything out, Tang Bingyao fell peacefully back asleep.

Su Xue shook her head and said, “She’s really drunk. Too drunk. Here, help me bring her to my room. She can sleep it off on my bed.” She stepped forward and hoisted Tang Bingyao up together with Lin Feng. They then brought the lightweight to Su Xue’s bedroom and put her down on the bed. All the while, Su Xue’s stream was running in the background.

「where’d xue xue disappear off to? Did she go out to buy milk?」

「we’ve been abandoned! FEELSBADMAN」

「BABEH COME BECK!!!! YOU CAN BLAME IT ALL ON MMEEEEEHHHHHHHH!!!!!」

「did she go to get the door? did lil bro come back or sumthing?」

「I bet that’s what happened. Lil Bro always forgets his keys when he leaves the house. Like seriously, remember to bring your keys with you, Lil Bro!」

The confusion, dismay, and all other negative messages disappeared suddenly when Su Xue entered the room. The chat shortly flooded with welcome back messages, until they spotted Lin Feng and a girl they’d never seen before. The new girl seemed non responsive, with Lin Feng and Su Xue putting the lifeless body down on the bed.

「am i seeing things!? Is that another person!?!?!?!?!?」

「uhhhhhhhhh……. She ok?」

「Looks passed out to me? …...」

「what’s going? why would lilbro and xue xue bring body to the stream?????? this some sick cosplay???」

「SOMEONE CALL THE POLICE!!! WE”VE GOT OURSELVES A BODY!!!」

「oh shit, I’ve seen this kind of intro before! LEMME WHIP OUT MY MASSIVE …...」

「intro my fat shiny ass! THIS A MURDER SCENE! THEY HIDIN THE BODY!!!!!」

Su Xue helped Lin Feng put Tang Bingyao on her bed, until she saw her computer in the mirror. “Crap! I forgot to turn off the stream! Put her on the bed!” She let go of Tang Bingyao and rushed to the computer, where she clicked on a button to kill the stream. She then glanced at the chat, browsing through the earlier messages and complaints. Fucking idiots! It’s not a body! She shook her head and slammed down on the enter key

EveningSnowfall:「It’s not a body, idiots! She’s a friend who had too much to drink. We’re just letting her sleep it off! DON’T CALL THE POLICE!」

“There, done,” Lin Feng said, exhausted. He let himself fall down on the extra chair Su Xue had in her room and stared at Tang Bingyao for a minute. Then he got back up and said to Su Xue, “I’ll leave the rest to you. I’m heading off to bed too! I’m exhausted.”

“Hey! HEY! STAY HERE! GET YOUR ASS BACK IN HERE!” Su Xue yelled after Lin Feng as he left the room. But he wasn’t listening. She grumbled a few more complaints before turning around to look at Tang Bingyao. At least she’s sleeping… And it’s probably for the best that I take care of her. She’s far too drunk for anything with him… She scrunched her eyebrows and chuckled. He’s probably too stupid to even think about that. I’m guessing he’s annoyed that he had to carry her here more than anything. But yeesh. Why do I always have to be the adult? I want to be the kid for once!

Su Xue helped Tang Bingyao take off her freezing cold clothes and change into something warmer and more comfortable. Then she put a thick blanket over Tang Bingyao and walked to the kitchen. Hmm… I’ll clean the puke up first, because there’s no way the little shit has done that. And then I need to get Tang Tang a new bucket, just in case. And I should also put a warm cloth on her forehead, that always did wonders for me. Maybe I can make her some honey lemon tea as well. She’ll like that if she wakes up during the night...

It took Su Xue only a couple of minutes to cross everything off her to-do list. She then sat down on the edge of her bed, staring at Tang Bingyao. These kids are lucky to have me. I’m way too nice to them. But look at her. She’s so cute. I wonder what she’s dreaming about…

Tang Bingyao had rolled on her side and grabbed a pillow, which she was now tightly hugging. Every now and then, she’d mumble a few words. But they were mostly intelligible, with the exception of ‘Lin’ and ‘Feng’. But judging by the smile on Tang Bingyao’s face, Su Xue guessed it was a pretty good dream. She chuckled and shook her head. “How does that stupid kid keep bringing girls home for a sleepover…? First BunBun and now Tang Tang! Does he like both of them? Maybe neither?” She suddenly started giggling. “Maybe he’ll bring home a third girl! What was that other girl from his team called again? Rou Rou? Yeah, I think it was Rou Rou. I guess that’d be kind of funny…”