Chapter 484: Chapter 484

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Biting his lips tightly, Ban Hwee Hyul concluded his words. “As soon as I came to the hospital after a phone call, I found Hwee Ahn lying on the bed unconsciously this way.”

Suddenly, there was a cliff in front of us without any warning sign. While we took a deep breath, Ban Hwee Hyul continued speaking with his eyes fastened to somewhere else.

“I don’t know who did this to him. Maybe Hwee Ahn fearlessly jumped into some kids again who knew how to fight, but quite a lot of them are out there… It’s already been half a year, so it’ll be hard to find the culprit. I’ve tried a few times to search for that bastard, but…”

“Uh-huh.”

“As the kid named Joanna… just said, perhaps it might be much easier to find the bastard if I return to my position. However, I don’t want to do that because…”

Speaking to that extent, Ban Hwee Hyul cast down his eyes and tried to pick the words that could better articulate his thoughts.

“If someone didn’t ignore Hwee Ahn getting beaten brutally and had given him a helping hand, things would have not turned out this awfully.”

I didn’t even think about correcting the wrong name that slipped out of Ban Hwee Hyul’s mouth. What really lingered in mind was the last words he just dropped. I tilted my head while wondering what that indicated.

Ban Hwee Hyul lowered his voice, “When I advised Hwee Ahn, ‘Just ignore the bastards harassing or bullying the weak since we can’t help that,’ he responded that I would never understand how they feel. These kids turn out to act timidly or cowardly because, unlike me, they don’t have that power or strength to deal with offensive actions or behaviors; thus, their sorrow and frustration would never arouse sympathy from me.”

“…”

“But that’s wrong, isn’t it? Since I turned out to perfectly understand how Hwee Ahn had viewed the world in his place…” said Ban Hwee Hyul, proudly lifting his head up out of the blue.

Yoon Jung In, who was quietly listening to his confession during the whole time, shook his hand in the air. He asked, “Hey, hold on for a sec… I get everything except for your last comment. What does that mean?”

“Being in his place, now I utterly grasped how Hwee Ahn had felt. Don’t you think so?”

Yoon Jung In uttered in bewilderment, “Wait… then the reason why you never resisted Hwang Siwoo, even once, and just let him harass you was that…” As if he finally had the clue of Ban Hwee Hyul’s indescribable behavior, Yoon Jung In pouted his lips.

Even showing a faint smile, Ban Hwee Hyul replied, “After some time, I realized that I deserve people treating me that way.”

“Hey, no! That’s wrong!” We quickly denied Ban Hwee Hyul, who even looked refreshed while blurting out those words yet with a smile.

“Until that time, I didn’t know how painful it was to get beaten by someone.” Still curving his red eyes into a grin, Ban Hwee Hyul continued, “As I got to realize that, I didn’t want to fight or throw a punch to other people anymore, but only thought that I just want to live this way…”

“But that’s going too far! No, Hwee Hyul!” I shouted.

Being taken aback, Yoon Jung In also blurted out, “Exactly, no matter how much you let others harass you, it has nothing to do with the weak kids that you neglected in the past. Don’t you think so too? Hey, that’s just too absurd although you feel so guilty about yourself.”

Regardless of our passionate eloquence, Ban Hwee Hyul shook his head then replied calmly, “Just leave me alone now.”

My mind finally went blank.

“What?”

“Just as I said, it was my own free will to let Hwang Siwoo pushing me around. I appreciate your support until this moment, but that’s enough for now.”

“Eh… no, no… hold on…” I grabbed Ban Hwee Hyul’s arm in a hurry, who suddenly stopped the conversation and was about to bend his steps.

Making a pause to turn around, he glanced at me frigidly in wonder. He looked so frosty that I thought even a part-timer wouldn’t react this way when his employer stopped him from leaving after work.

Slightly shrugging, I asked, “So you’re saying that you’ll let Hwang Siwoo keep picking a fight on you. However, you think that isn’t enough; thus, you want us to not help you anymore… Is that what you’re asking us?”

His eyes trembled at my words, but shortly after, he left us aside and turned around as if he had made up his mind.

“Yeah,” he replied.

“Hey, hold on. Where are you going?! We should return to school…” shouted Yoon Jung In.

However, Ban Hwee Hyul insisted coldly, “Go ahead.”

Being struck dumb at his unusual vigor, we just stood still at a loss for words. Leaving us that way on the rooftop, the door slowly closed.

Yoon Jung In and I stared at the precipitously closed door. Ban Hwee Hyul just left without letting us know when he would come back to school.

After quite some time, Yoon Jung In barely broke the ice. Looking anxious, he tried to utter with a smile. “Hey, Ban Hwee Hyul is gonna come back to school, right? He won’t just leave and disappear…”

“Uh… yeah, I hope so since he looked like he had some personal attachment to school… I mean a sense of obligation…” I slurred the end of my sentence since I couldn’t add something like Hwee Hyul would return to school while having a guilty conscience.

As I bit my lips, Yoon Jung In sighed and pointed outside with his chin. We bent our steps strengthlessly.

Only silence remained between us even until we got in the elevator to go to the lobby. Once I pressed the button and the machine started to move, that was when Yoon Jung In detached his lips calmly.

“You know they say, ‘Life goes on…’ right?”

I nodded weakly, “Uh-huh.”

“It sounded quite selfish to me before, but… looking at Ban Hwee Hyul just now, I kind of get what it means…” replied Yoon Jung In. He rubbed his forehead as if he felt perplexed saying those words.

I also heaved a sigh. Looking in front again, I lowered my voice, “Yeah, true. He shouldn’t let himself fall apart that way… or else, how is going to see his brother when he gets up?”

The space was enveloped again by a deafening silence. We did share a few words in the suffocating air. However, the topic was, in the end, too heavy to discuss since we became friends with Ban Hwee Hyul not that long ago.

Pounding my stuffy chest a couple of times, I kept thinking about Ban Hwee Hyul’s remark. told us. He said that he deserved people treating him abusively; he should suffer pain indeed.

When we endure pain, we usually think about what comes after. For instance, the reason why we could bear the tough times and heavy workloads at school, studying, is that we trust the promise that all these stressful moments would end once we enter college.

Considering the aspect, meaningless pain seems to be more unbearable than the pain itself. If undergoing such pain rewards nothing after suffering from it, that will be the real torment in the end.

However, Ban Hwee Hyul insisted that he could tolerate going through the painful days even though no promise would be kept for such suffering.

Putting my sweaty hands in my pocket out of anxiety, I kept wondering, ‘If that’s the case, what was Ban Hwee Hyul expecting after undergoing all that pain? Does he want to just atone for his wrong?’

Or… or maybe… was he trying to strike a balance between his sin and pain in frail hopes of his brother regaining his consciousness one day?

No matter how wise the individuals were, I found a lot of people being captivated by superstitious beliefs while going through their continuous struggles and misfortunes. Eun Hyung could be an example of it as he trusted that his father would never wake up if he stayed beside him.

Ban Hwee Hyul’s weirdly persistent behavior could be understood in this context.

Rambling such thoughts in mind, I quickly shook my head. Anyway, it was his decision, which I had no right to argue as a person not directly involved in his situation. Thus, I couldn’t dare to advise him even though he later decided to pray or rely on religion in order to expiate himself.

But no… I couldn’t let him, at least, keep getting bullied by malicious kids…

While my mind was caught up in an intense debate, the elevator finally arrived at the lobby with a loud beep. That was when Yoon Jung In suddenly opened his mouth, disheveling his hair.

I turned around in surprise.

“Ah, I don’t know! Gosh, how should I know…!”

“…”

“Not only that I’ve never gone through such a thing but I have never imagined it either,” he blurted out.

Yoon Jung In seemed to reach the same conclusion in the end just as I did. With subdued eyes, I just nodded to agree with him.