Death, Devotion, Dissonance Chapter 42
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Evin woke the next morning muddleheaded, or whatever morning it was after what had happened, in his own room.
He woke up to a hearty meal on his desk, with a note that said it was breakfast. By the size of the thing, Evin guessed that it was Arza's doing.
'Always eating like some overindulgent pig,' he thought spitefully.
the voice greeted.
"Mm…" Evin replied feeling off. "What happened?"
The mention of the Chairman stirred an anger inside Evin.
"That man… He was excited to see me suffering from pain!" Evin said, remembering the almost childish exhilaration the Chairman was hiding behind his worried face.
the voice said gravely.
The mention of Evin's fight with Decatur stirred an even greater anger in Evin's heart. He then noticed his still broken arm and the faint pulse of pain that radiated from it. He tried to find the words to vocalize his emotions, but it was in vain.
the voice sighed, knowing Evin's emotions.
With its will, Evin's messy mind was intruded by the voice's unfamiliar and uncanny stillness, forcing Evin to still his rapidly beating heart. He then entered the blissful state of mind that the voice granted him when he decided to share the entirety of his mind. Evin was somewhat touched by the act.
it continued softly.
As he was sharing the voice's mind, Evin saw the logic in its statements.
Evin nodded, his heavy breathing stilling slightly.
With the calmness that was granted by the voice, Evin finally noticed this oddity. Ever since he awoke, he was in a foul mood, seeking to butt heads with anyone that came in his mind.
the voice said simply.
Evin nodded slowly, grasping some of the boiled vegetables that sat on his desk.
"What should we do then?"
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the voice said sagely.
"You mean to say he'll interfere with us more?" Evin asked worriedly.
"I see…" Evin sighed.
All of a sudden, Evin was too tired of all these problems.
Mindlessly, he continued to gorge on the dish that Arza left for him. He soon realized that his body had been starving. The voice also seemed to agree on this fact and let Evin eat in peace. Very quickly, Evin devoured the large meal that Arza left for him.
Finished, Evin noticed the awkward silence between him and the voice. He chuckled to himself, reminding himself that it was normal to be silent when one was alone and sought entertainment in something else.
Of all the things, his eyes fell on the wall. He found himself wondering how the builders were able to achieve such levelness. When he touched it before, he learned that it wasn't the smoothness of carefully sawed wood, nor the coldness of cut stone. These things were made of a mix of many things, merged together somehow. Or was it the influence of magic that achieved these effects?
If he absorbed a Shard of Tenarak and willed the energies to create a wall of earth, would his creation feel the same as this wall?
'Most likely,' Evin judged. 'After all, I saw the Academy being built by mages. The dormitory shouldn't be any different."
It was never boring for Evin when he shared the voice's perspective. Without his intent, his mind would seek out topics to mull about, odd people to speculate on, and random walls to ponder upon. It allowed him to forget the awkwardness and loneliness he often felt in total silence.
the voice sighed.
"You want to talk," Evin guessed.
the voice said, more confidently this time.
Evin sat silently, letting the voice speak out its inner thoughts. He noticed that there was none of the usual mocking and sarcastic undertones that it usually liked to speak in. The talk this time was deadly serious.
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the voice confessed.
Evin listened to the voice confessing all its manipulations and felt disgusted by its words, but some part of him understood it.
Evin then felt the voice trying to cleanse its calmness of itself, silently hinting at Evin that his mind was his own.
Evin thought about the voice's words. Despite his calmness, Evin found it hard to not dislike the voice. He didn't wish to understand why it was so eager to share its darker sides with him.
Evin remembered all the times he had to suffer the voice's jabs on top of the hurt that plagued his body.
"It never helped. You know?" Evin said, his voice tight. "You were just like a fly that lands on a bleeding wound."
the voice sighed.
Evin detected the same fear in the voice's tones that he felt yesterday, when he was numb to everything.
Evin was surprised by the sincerity in the voice's words. The voice itself seemed surprised by it too. Sighing, it continued.
Evin then understood that sincerity was the objective of this talk. The voice talked freely of its flaws and foul designs, so it Evin would understand that it wasn't trying to lie to him.
A pause later, it continued.
"I do," Evin said without hesitation. "We will make decisions as one unit, without bickering and arguing."
It was time for Evin's sincerity to surprise the two.
the voice chuckled with amusement.
"But I want one thing from you," Evin said, gathering his breath. "I want you to talk about what you are."
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