Music recommendation - Do I Wanna Know? by Arctic monkey

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Channing gazed at my innocence. When I asked him why he lost control over his anger, I genuinely did not know about it. But he had a faint smile, as if I should have understood by now.

"It angered me for what you suffered," came his disclosure. I saw his jaw click before he continued. "I wanted to remain calm like I did when Hailey did a number on Sam. Like how I always kept it under the hood because the emotions can cascade inside me in a wrong way, but it would be a lie if I said I didn't want to smash Hailey into the ground, then and there"

The anger in his eyes surfaced again, and I could see how every cell in his body struggled to contain it. His hand went through his hair for the umpteenth time now.

I stared at him. His eyes closed, and they gently opened to look at me with other emotions. Maybe I did not know him yet. This Channing was different, heavy with emotions. So much it was hard to breathe inside his space and right now, I was very close to him. The air was getting heavy and my breathing was short.

Channing said he couldn't control his emotions around me, and I could see it. Him going through the rainbow of them. It wasn't that hard to guess. His eyes were expressive enough for that. I couldn't take my gaze off him and rather drown in those feelings.

They were spilling in an uncontrolled sense, but I couldn't make out which emotion was this. He looked sad yet happy and yet frustrated. Everything was all over the place.

"I think I remembered last night what I had done when I was drunk." His words brought the images back. Was that why he was being distant since morning today? He ran his tongue over his dry lips. "I think it was on purpose, Selene. Because it was you, what I did was not for anyone else in my thoughts, it was for you. Maybe I wanted to do that"

What he was talking about went over my head. But somewhere it was relieving to know there was no other girl he had imagined then and yet scary to hear how he wanted to hold me then.

Channing suddenly stepped closer, and there was no space left between us. "Channing!" I took a step back, and he took another step forward. What was he trying? The emotions inside him had truly escalated. It took me only three more steps when my back hit the table cupboard. Bending my elbows, the lower section of my palm rested on the corner which touched the waist just above my bottom.

He was two steps away, and he wasn't halting. There was nowhere for me to go.

Having closed the distance, his eyes dipped into mine. The emotion he was feeling right now. I did not know what it was, but it crawled inside my skin. I was feeling it and it only made my heart heavier and breathing slower.

"It is so much more Selene" Channing stood extremely close as he said the words that had made some sense to me. "So much more with you. The need to protect you." His frame leaned closer, and I gulped through my dry throat. "Hold you," his voice a sweet whisper. I was feeling dizzy from the lack of air around me. My tongue tried to wet my dry lips, and it only made my mouth drier.

For some reason, I could not push him away. It was like I craved his presence for some time and it was here now. Not the closeness, but simply his presence, and yet I was strangely okay. Even if I wanted to, I didn't want to push him away.

Channing's hand raised, and the back of his fingers ran gently along my cheek. His touch was icy, but my cheeks were already warm with red. My brows creased as I stared into his eyes. Pleading to stop, but that was all the resistance I could offer. The look in my eyes only made him come closer, and I saw his adam's apple bob when he gulped.

His hand went to rest on the tabletop behind me. He pinned me with both his hands, not leaving even a small amount of space to move sideways. My back was against the short table cupboard and in my front was Channing. His torso pressed against me and my hand went to rest on his chest as a futile resistance. I could feel his hard chest against my palm and how his buffed muscles tensed with my mere touch.

He leaned closer, his forehead coming to rest on my right shoulder. "I had resolved, Selene. To never take a liking to anyone, never try something that leads to a partner" This intimate space was making my breaths hitch. I felt the weight of his head lift from my shoulders and his lips went next to the shell of my ear, "I can feel my resolution slipping out of hold Selene"

His breath against my ear sent tingles throughout my body. My lungs heaved for air and my heartbeat spiralled higher. I could feel something in the pit of my stomach and it had me close my eyes. This man was steering something inside me I had never experienced before.

"Ch-Channing" I talked only in whispers and he hummed in a deep, hoarse voice. Goddess, even a mere hum was swirling the insides of my stomach. I felt the heat. He was radiating loads of it, but I felt it start in my body as well.

I did not understand what he meant by resolving never to take a liking, and what he meant by it slipping. Was it some kind of confession? Was he taking a liking towards me?

But more than that. Why couldn't I resist? Did I hold reciprocating feelings for this person? I wanted to push him away. This was wrong, but my body was speaking another language right now. Like a river flowing in one direction and I did not put effort into going against its flow.

Channing's face came in front of me. His eyes waited for me to continue as I had called his name, but there was nothing for me to speak.

The fact was, even my body was going in a cascading fall, like his emotions were uncontrolled and slipping out of his grip. Engulfing me in them.

There was guilt heavy in his eyes, like this was going the wrong way. Guilt, which rather I should be feeling for going in this flow. His eyes were almost teary before they shifted to my lips, and I couldn't help but bite into my lower lips. Channing's eyes gazed into mine and back at my lips as he leaned closer.

This was wrong. I was about to be married to someone else in a few months. But my mind was fuzzy and my body weak. I did not want this, but my body had its own controls right now.

I closed my eyes, knowing what was coming and I would regret it later. Right now, for some reason, I couldn't help. I could have told even Channing did not want things to go this way with the way his eyes looked a while back. His resolve, he did not want to break it and it was clear the resolve had a powerful reason behind it. Like we both waited for this to be stopped, but only wished in our mind while the situation carried on.

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