"Honey, I'm sorry." Jaime repeated his words while stroking her back.

He could not help but feel bad for his wife. He didn't know that every time he couldn't make it home, or every time he broke a promise, Rika would cry herself to sleep and awake.

​​

Jaime… he couldn't say anything but apologize. He knew he was at fault and was aware Rika was never the problem. He didn't want to push the blame to the demands of his job because there were other ways to make up for that.

Seeing her cry was akin to a resounding slap; a wake up call to him. Rika truly devoted her heart to him, to this marriage. And Jaime was unconsciously ruining not just their marriage, but also ruining her.

"No, no. It's okay. I'm alright. Just… it's just the hangover." Rika wiped her tears by her arms and attempted to reassure him by pretending.

However, her tears would stop, and she couldn't keep her act together. It had been too much for her to bear lately.

Jaime's eyes softened. Seeing that until now, she was thinking she would worry about him. Such an angel he almost lost.

"It's not, hon. It's not alright and I can understand why." He muttered, pulling her into his embrace. "I'm sorry for abusing your kindness and patience."

Jaime whispered. Hugging her tightly. It's been a year since they got married. However, Jaime only realized now that it's been a while since he embraced his wife tightly.

Rika had lost a lot of weight. Although she was still pretty like an angel, he never realized she was nearly just skin and bones. She had been taking care of him and asked for nothing in return.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you… I — I'm sorry." Jaime wanted to say a lot of things; things he wanted to be sorry for.

But there were just too many, he didn't know where to start. Jaime was not the type of person who expressed his feelings publicly, nor he knew how.

Rika shook her head lightly, drawing herself away from him. With tears still on the corner of her eyes, she sported a smile.

"I'm really alright. I'm just a little emotional lately. Don't worry about me." She reassured him.

Her words and actions made his heart clench even more. Jaime looked at her smiling lips, and then to her eyes with her eyelashes still damp from her own tears.

"How's your night? Did you have a good rest last night?" Rika asked, deliberately changing the subject.

Jaime remained silent, staring at her smiling front but weeping eyes. Slowly, he raised his hand and cupped her cheek. His thumb gently caressed her cheek as his eyes soft.

"It's good, but not as incomparable as when I spend it with you." Jaime expressed.

Upon hearing his answer, the side of her lips stretched subtly.

"I know. Song Rika is the best, after all." She humored, trying to liven up the gloomy mood early in the morning.

Yet Jaime didn't laugh. She's always like this. Rika had always acted tough and okay with everything. If he didn't see her crying the moment she woke up, he wouldn't realize how worse this marriage had fallen.

With a wife who bottled her feelings and cried alone. And a husband who never paid attention to details in his own home, nor to the person he cared the most. This marriage was already near its end; it was just a matter of time before everything break apart.

"Thank God it's not too late." Jaime whispered, which made her brows furrowed.

"Huh?"

"I almost lost everything." He heaved a sigh of relief, realizing his marriage was just hanging by a thread.

Overwhelmed, Jaime pulled her into his embrace once again. "I almost lost you."

"Honey? Are you… okay?" Baffled, Rika patted his torso.

His arms around her were shaking, as if terrified. Why? She wondered. Did something bad happen?

"Hon…" She trailed off upon hearing him sniff.

Rika's back instantly froze. 'Is he crying?' She wondered internally.

The anxiousness in her heart that something terrible happened slowly crept to her heart. Knowing her husband, he was not the type of person who was vocal or showed too much emotion.

Although, sometimes, she wished he would express himself more. Rika had accepted him for who he was. Therefore, witnessing his breakdown for the first time after a year of being married worried her.

"Honey, what happened?" She asked, worried as she held onto his shoulders.

After a long patience, Rika finally heard his answer.

"Nothing. I'm just… relieved."

"Happy?"

"Mhm." Jaime let out a low tune as he drew away from her.

He didn't bother wiping the tears from the corner of his eyes as he looked at her. His gaze etched every little detail of her angelic facial features. Jaime was aware she was stunning, but right now, she looked more beautiful than ever.

"I'm relieved I came to my senses before I lost you, my everything. I'm sorry for all those broken promises and lonely nights. I have a lot to say sorry about, but more than sorry, I wanted to thank you."

Speaking from his heart to her felt natural. Admitting his wrongs and shortcomings made him realize how he neglected his marriage, and he wouldn't be ashamed at admitting it.

"Jaime… why--" Surprised at his sudden long sentimental remarks, Rika's words were cut off as her tongue rolled back.

One more word, and her brave act would shatter again.

"Thank you for holding onto me." Jaime whispered, leaning closer as he left a peck on her forehead. Rika's breath hitched, surprised.

"Thank you for holding onto this marriage." Again, after leaving a peck on her forehead, Jaime kissed her swollen eyes lovingly.

"Thank you for choosing me." He continued kissing her other eye.

"Thank you for loving me despite not getting the bare minimum." This time, Jaime kissed the apex of her nose.

"Thank you for waiting, for caring, and for believing in us." One after another, Jaime left trails of kisses on her cheek, down to her jaw.

Slowly, Jaime looked at her straight in the eye. Rika was chewing her lower lip; this time, she couldn't stop her tears from rolling down her cheeks.

"I have a lot to thank you for, but above all, thank you for coming into my life." He nodded reassuringly.

Jaime paused, smiling subtly as his eyes stung once again. He took a deep breath, repeating the vows he had made a year ago. This time, he meant it with all his life.

"I will not make the same mistake again. I will love you the way you deserve to be loved, cared, and valued. I love you and I'll prove that every day."

Crying, yet, despite the unstoppable tears escaping from her eyes, the side of her lips could not help but curl upward.

"Mhm!"

***

Falling in love is easy. Staying in love is not. Love is not all about rainbows and butterflies. So was marriage.

There's never a perfect marriage. Just perfect love. They may appear perfect; a successful doctor and a beautiful, famous actress. But in love, everyone was equal.

We get hurt, we heal, we grow.

Life is short. Choose those who are worth fighting for and walk away without regrets. Because at the end of the day, that special one might be a beautiful lesson, or a lifetime companion.