《Amara – Reunion》Amara - Reunion
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Author's note: this is from Seraphina's point of view
- - -
Aldus listened attentively as I told him about flowers blooming and me falling asleep like someone turned off the lights.
I scaled down on hugging and kissing, but Aldus knew that I was with Duke.
"Come back, right now.", he said firmly.
I knew that he will say that, but I was not willing.
I was fighting a battle of wanting to stay with Duke and fearing that I might harm him, but I didn't want to leave.
After seven long years, we are finally together. Actually, it's after eleven years because my emotions sprouted from the first day we met. My heart was aching at the thought of parting from Duke.
"Serina?", Aldus called. "Did you hear me?"
"I did…", I responded reluctantly. "But I don't think that will solve anything."
"What do you mean?", his voice was rising. "You can't control it and it's draining you. Come home."
"But I am fine after sleep.", I defended my right to stay with Duke.
"What if the next time you end up worse than just sleeping? What if you collapse and don't wake up?"
"No, no… it's not like that.", I was not sure if I was telling him or to myself.
"And how is it?", Aldus spoke sharply. "You can't control it. You are risking exposure. Even if you don't care about yourself, you should care about that boy. What if you harm him or someone else? Will you be OK with that?"
Aldus's words hit me hard and I knew that he might be right. Do I care about Duke if I'm willing to stay only to risk harming him?
I let out a shaky breath as my mind was spinning with questions.
How am I going to explain to Duke that I must leave abruptly?
Am I endangering him?
What would I do if I go home? How will that help other than put me in another round of isolation? How long will this isolation last? Months? Years?
How can I keep my distance from Duke and explain the separation?
I was scolding him for leaving me, and if I do the same, he will have every right to call me a hypocrite. What if he decides not to wait for me anymore?
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I'm not in a position to tell him that it will be one week or a month or a year. Can I tell him to wait for me until I figure out 'something'? He will know I'm lying and hiding things, and we agreed on no secrets (with an invisible clause from my side to conceal the existence of creatures).
I don't know anything about this ability other than flowers bloom and I get tired. Where do I start controlling it?
I knew I was selfish, but I also had a point.
"Father, I need to stay longer.", I said firmly. Before he blew a fuse, I quickly added, "I don't know what is causing it, but I'm confident that it happened two times when Duke was with me, and there is no point in me going home before I figure out what's going on."
I took a deep breath while wondering if that was enough. Probably not. I came up with additional arguments.
"I don't want to go to Vesper again and let her probe into my feelings. I feel violated every time she does that. I am confident that I'm not harming Duke because he feels energized, and that can't be bad. Both times it happened, I was fine after a few hours of sleep. You did a checkup on me last week and my condition was normal. I want to find clues about what triggers my ability and being with Duke can help me do that faster than if I'm trying it on my own in the lab. Besides, no matter what machines arrive on Monday, if I can't reproduce this, they will be useless. Please, trust me on this one."
I could hear Aldus breathing and I bit my lower lip while waiting for him to respond.
"Fine.", he said dejectedly. "I think I should come and keep an eye on you."
I panicked. The only thing worse than me leaving abruptly would be Aldus hovering over me and Duke.
"That… that won't be necessary. Mitch and Maria are here with me, and if anything happens when Duke and I are out, he will take care of me."
Aldus snorted. "Fine. If it happens again, let me know."
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"I will."
"Be careful.", Aldus said stiffly and ended the call.
I plopped back on the bed and took a deep breath. The scent of pine trees mixed with the ocean was still strong in the pillow Duke was using and I buried my face in it, inhaling Duke and hoping that I'm not making a mistake by staying here with him.
I knew it was reckless, but I wanted to spend more time with him.
…
I found Duke in the living room. He was sitting on the sofa and fiddling with his phone. Before I made a sound, he turned to face me, as if he could sense my presence.
As I approached him, Duke kept his phone on the side and stood up.
He was smiling, but I remembered his troubled expression as he dashed out of my bedroom earlier that morning.
"Are you OK?", I asked cautiously. When he didn't respond, I clarified, "You left my room suddenly, so…"
His brows furrowed and I wondered what's on his mind.
"Sorry…", he said. "I got carried away. I shouldn't have done that."
That apology was vague. He shouldn't have done, what?
"Yeah. Leaving like that was not OK. You should stay and tell me if something is bothering you. Whatever it is, we can talk it out."
His lips twitched. "I can assure you that if I stayed, we wouldn't be talking."
I felt the heat creeping up my neck as I realized that he didn't apologize for leaving my room, but for what happened before that.
Talking about it would be embarrassing, but I was confused that he stopped suddenly, and I felt the need to clarify things.
I closed the distance between me and Duke, and hugged him. I was happy that his arms wrapped around me almost instantly.
A sense of peace enveloped me, like I reached my safe harbor.
I hid my face in his chest and gathered my courage to speak.
"What we did after I woke up... I didn't hate it."
Duke kissed my forehead, and murmured, "You are not ready for more than that, and I'm not confident in my control. You have no idea how much I'm craving for you, but I don't want you to feel forced to do anything you are not ready to."
I smiled at Duke's words and leaned into him, placing my ear on his chest, and listening to his strong heartbeat.
I knew why Duke made me feel safe; it was because he never did anything I was not ready for. Duke always put me first, even if that meant he needs to leave the room so that I have no regrets.
Duke spent four years of high school being my best friend, my support, my protector, my everything I needed because I was not ready for a relationship.
He stayed away from me after high school because he believed that's in my best interest, to finish college. Well, he was not wrong. Education was my priority.
When I went missing, he waited for me, believing that I will return eventually.
Can he be any sweeter?
Did I ever go out of my comfort zone for him?
Was I always this blind?
Why did it take me eleven years to realize that Duke always made sacrifices only so that I can be comfortable?
My resolve firmed to figure out this pesky ability and control it so that I can be with Duke all the time and support him in return, as his equal.
"What do you want us to do today?", I asked.
"We could go to that farmer's market. If you want."
I looked up at him. "I want to spend the day with you."
Duke's smile reflected in his endlessly blue eyes, and I knew that he liked my answer.
I peeled myself from Duke and we held hands while going to the dining room.
Maria set up the table with breakfast items for us.
"Let's eat and we can head out. Farmer's market sounds like a good destination to begin our day…", I said excitedly.
---
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