For the crowning ceremony, nobles from all over Ethiro came to witness. Even foreign delegations arrived, and those that couldn't send an ambassador wrote letters.

There was even one from my Queen. She wished a prosperous new age for the Empire, willing to promote peace between our peoples.

There wasn't anyone from Polis since the city was still under siege, yet they managed to send a messenger.

The delegation from Asteria wasn't numerous, but it was acceptable given the tense relationship between the two empires. Among them, there was a person whose face tickled my memories.

I didn't know why, but I didn't like him.

«Your majesty,» the Ambassador said, «congratulations on your crowning. A new era is seeing its dawn. Hopefully, one without Asteria's and Ethiro's rivalry...»

As he talked, bending his torso forward by a few degrees and smiling with that fake grin, I remembered who he was.

«Zolokis,» I whispered. The family name of my Queen's mother.

He was her uncle.

The turmoil in my belly didn't stop for the whole day, but I couldn't understand what that man could do that was so horrible.

He came to Polis during Elias's fourth birthday, he brought some carpets and rare tea... He grinned with fake concern and even patted my son's head.

But why did I hate him so much?

Was I just a crazy, jealous man that didn't like his wife having any contact with her family? What right did I have to feel like that?

I followed the rest of the coronation half-heartedly. I wasn't that interested because there was something else bugging me.

I couldn't remember, but I hated that man. I felt an irrational urge to kill him on the spot. It was the first time in my life that it happened.

I hadn't hated that much even the mad Emperor that took away my parents twice.

My shoulders moved up and down repeatedly, pushed by my accelerated breath. If I wasn't raging inside, I would have thought of a panic attack.

I could envision the dying Ambassador lying on a dirty floor and bleeding out. I could see his face losing colour and his fingers crooking because of pain.

My fists clenched, and my vision blurred until I could only see a single thing.

I felt like a furious bull, and I probably looked like one.

My leg moved on its own, my mind settled on taking down that man. Only Martia's warm and comforting hand, wrapped around mine, stopped me.

I woke up from my daze... No, rather than like a daze, it felt like a dream. A nightmare where I didn't have any control over my body.

I turned to my sister and saw the worry in her eyes. I was her crooked lips and confused expression.

I still had people that depended on me. I had a son to conceive. I couldn't afford to die in such a stupid way.

Not yet, at least.

I shook my head, wondering if those thoughts were really mine. Had a demon possessed me all of a sudden? Could it be?

After all, I had memories from an alternative life. Why couldn't demons and such things exist?

«Are you all right?» Martia asked, reminding me once again that it was the real world. With people gazing around bored and potentially seeing my crazy moment.

«Yes,» I whispered and returned to focus on the guests walking in.

Not one of those after the Ambassador made me feel annoyed, let alone want to kill them in a twisted and painful way.

Could it have been just a transient moment, something destined to never repeat itself?

When I spotted the Ambassador in the hallways, all that I thought was in the past returned. I wanted to kill him again.

The first couple of times, it had been hard to control. Luckily, no one except Martia noticed my weird mood. It became slightly easier to bear after a few times.

In the end, I could just glare at that man with fuming eyes without physically moving towards him. I imagined killing him in my mind so many times, and it felt so damn right!

I was a monster, but it didn't mean I had to stop envisioning that scene in prison. It felt like settling some scores, but there wasn't any relief or sense of accomplishment. My sadness didn't disappear in front of the dying man.

In the end, I decided to let my mind fly wild and keep my actions in place. Killing ambassadors is kind of illegal. Asteria, also, was a challenging enemy. Some part of my brain was convinced that they would attack Ethiro, sooner or later, and seize parts of the Empire's territories with dubious claims.

Imagining to kill a person is bad. For sure, not worse than killing them in real life. With that thought, I survived the coronation and the days immediately after.

My plans returned to focus on what mattered the most, and I soon became ready to be sent to Polis as an exchange husband.

«I want to meet her too,» Martia said, looking at my happy, absent-minded expression. «She must be something.»

«Oh, she is.»

«I also want to try the gowns they use in the South. The late Queen, her mother, was such a beauty. It's just surprising that they can afford not to wear any corset.»

«Mh-hm,» I moaned, trying to remember my Queen's clothes. Oh, right, she used light gowns with a high waist and flying sleeves. I perfectly knew how she looked without clothes, but it was hard to remember her dresses. How odd.

The only dress I had imprinted in my mind was her bridal gown.

She would move the sleeve up when she was writing, and her hair would be tied up in a beautiful and messy bun. I still wanted to undo those knots to see her hair fall like a waterfall and sense her fruity scent. Her silken skin lingered on my fingertips; her soft lips had left their shape on mine like a burning stamp. I remembered her as if we hadn't been apart for over twenty years.

For me, it had been that long. For Thea, certainly not.

She was born later. She was sixteen that year.

It was the first time that I realised that I was the only one in the world remembering a past that had never happened. Maybe my Queen was the same, but I had to wait for more to find out.

«She knows very much about politics and administration, and her aides aren't to pair with her in any sector,» I said.

«So, she's smart and competent.»

«That's right.»

«You two are really well-matched,» she giggled. «Don't conquer the world together!»

«Why not.» I shrugged. I would have done it if my Queen asked.

«I will miss you.»

She smiled, even though her eyes showed the sincerity of her words.

«I will miss you too.»

I couldn't tell her that I would visit her at least once. It was far in the future, and I wasn't sure things would go in the exact same way.

«And I won't be as good as the Lord as you would have been,» she ends, dropping her shoulders.

«You will, Martia. You'll be even better than me, and the Countess will help you with the most challenging matters. It will be all right.»

«I'm not really hoping that your dreams turn out to be true. I'd prefer to have you nearby, Xander.»

«It's my destiny, Martia. I have to be with her, no matter what.»

«I know,» she sighed. «You've always been far away in your thoughts. Your heart was hers from the beginning, so we, ordinary people, didn't have any chance to bind you to us.»

Was it like that? Had I been so focused on the future that I forgot to live my life?

«I won't be absent-minded anymore,» I decided. «I'll live those last few years before reaching my wife as if I didn't know. All right?»

«You won't be able to pull it off.»

«I can at least try.»

«Oh, Xander. You've thought about her for twenty-two years. Without a day of break...»

«How do you know?»

«I know you, brother.»

Well, she wasn't wrong.

«How do you think you stand a chance to distract yourself now that you've almost reached the goal of your life?»

«I will do my best,» I grinned. «What should we do first?»

Martia crooked her mouth and thought about it for a while.

«Let's go shopping,» she proposed. «You should learn how to choose jewels for a woman before getting married. Queens can be picky, I guess...»

«Last time, it felt wrong to spend my wife's money to buy her a present,» I pointed out.

Also, she wasn't fond of jewels all that much. She would only wear her simple earrings and a couple of rings. Heavy necklaces and annoying bracelets weren't to her liking.

«Every woman likes jewels, no matter the source of the income!»