At my stricken look, Van stood up. "Stay here and eat. I'll go talk to him," he said with what sounded like frustration.

I was too upset to answer. I should be the one going after Joel. What could I say? Nothing. I'd told Van the truth. It didn't take away from my feelings for Joel, but there was no way to explain it. I knew both brothers intimately now. There was no comparison between the two. Joel was it for me and I'd completely fucked it up.

My food arrived. My stomach was too upset to take more than a few bites. I was afraid I wouldn't keep even that down. I paid the bill and walked across the street. I didn't see Joel or Van, so I went to our room. Joel's things were gone and the door between us was locked on his side. I knocked, but he didn't answer. I had no idea if he was in there. I had fifteen minutes until the bus left. I packed my things and went downstairs.

I could hear the shouts from outside before I got to the large lobby doors. Players were trying to hold both brothers apart without much success. I noticed Joel's bloody face as he managed to tear free and attack Van. He got in a good punch before the guys could grab him again. Van was fighting back too.

"Let me the fuck go," he yelled, trying to get away from the arms holding him.

Brothers.

I'd done this to them.

I went back into the hotel. "I need to book a room for another night, please." The fact I hadn't broken down was a miracle. I took out my credit card and handed it to the clerk.

"Cami." It was Mike.

I turned. "I won't be going back with the team." I gave Mike a trembling smile.

"Are you sure?"

"It's for the best. I'm sorry. When Joel will listen just tell him I'm sorry." My voice quivered and I turned away to wipe a tear from my eye. When I looked back, Mike was walking through the front door. I watched as the guys pushed Van onto the bus and after a few other players got on, they forced Joel up the steps.

I wasn't going back. It would probably mean my job, but I could no longer handle my screw ups. The bus left and I walked dejectedly to my room. I hadn't thought to ask for a different one, so I was back in the room I'd shared with Joel. I put the do not disturb sign on the door and crawled into the bed that still smelled like him.

I broke down crying and replayed every minute of my time with Joel. Every touch, every kiss, every time I should have told him I loved him.

Eventually, I fell asleep. I woke up with another headache, took more ibuprofen, and fell back to sleep. It was three in the afternoon before I crawled out from under the covers. I got online and looked for a plane ticket. I booked a flight out of Morgantown. It cost a small fortune because of the short notice. I called a cab to drop me at the airport and left West Virginia and Colt Ohio behind.

I was on the aisle, but I got lucky and the seat in the middle was empty. I pulled out my laptop and wrote. Not just taking information from my notes. I wrote about my feelings on sports in general, the change I'd gone through in such a short time since starting my series on rugby. I wrote about Stub's pictures that she took and money she raised for youth rugby. I wrote about The Sentinelhow Charlie took pride in its small readership and wanted to give the community a twice-weekly print run. I tried to capture the essence of rugby fans and players. Their hearts that pumped the insane devotion through their veins.

I didn't notice the hours go by. I was lost in turning the vivid pictures in my head into a story. By the time I made it back to my small apartment, I had more than six-thousand words divided into four segments, a resignation letter, and a broken heart. I fell into bed knowing my dreams of a career in journalism would end the following day. That I could live with. Living without Joel was another story.

If any morning required a latte, it was Monday. I dressed professionally, wearing a form-fitting lace bra that was hiding in the back of my underwear drawer. My shirt was frilly and lower cut than I'd ever worn to the office. I had decided to leave my job without hiding my body.

After hastily drinking my coffee, I drove to the post office and shipped Stub her camera with a note of apology. I'd downloaded several pictures, including the one of Joel in the locker room. Whether Stub was able to get his permission to sell the photo or not, it was special to me and I was keeping a copy. I also mailed my rental car key to the agency which I'd called so they knew where to pick up the car in Colt.

I drove to the newspaper and went straight to Miller's office. "I don't have an appointment, but could you ask Mr. Miller if he has a few minutes to speak with me?" I said to his receptionist. She showed me into his office a moment later. Miller's eyes strayed to my chest, but I wasn't cowering any longer. He could look his fill for the few minutes it would take to hand over my generic letter of resignation. He jerked his gaze back to my eyes, which I gave him credit for.

I spoke to alleviate the awkward silence. "Thank you for seeing me this morning," I said handing the envelope over. "I'll make this short. I didn't go into detail in my resignation letter, but I owe you the truth. I slept with one of the players and I'm no longer welcome to accompany the team. I behaved unprofessionally and I'm resigning in order to save the Cleveland News and Journal the hassle of firing me. I've emailed you my completed story, though I'm not sure if you'll want to run it. You did pay for it and I believe it's quite good." I didn't stop, though I knew I was rushing through this just wanting to get out. "Thank you for the opportunity to cover this story." I didn't put out my hand, just spun toward the door.

"Cami."

"Yes, sir?" I barely glimpsed over my shoulder.

"Please return to the second floor and your previous work. I'll look over what you've writtenthe article and your resignation letter. I'll get back to you by the end of the day. Can you do that?"

I know he asked if I was capable of working because my eyes were pooling with tears. "Yes, sir."

"Simply Miller."

I left without saying another word.