Ninety minutes later, I'm standing in my brother's entryway with Cami, completely ignoring the peevish look on her face.

"When are you going to stop buying her boy clothes?" she huffs, after peeking inside the small bag I brought with me.

Cami's beautiful. I know she doesn't realize just how beautiful, which is one of the things that's so special about her. Her medium blonde hair curls softly around her face and shoulders, and accents her large green eyes. She's put on a little weight since having my niece, and it looks good on her. Her boobs look even better, which I can't help but notice, and I need to get my mind out of the gutter.

"When you take her out of girlie shit and teach her to eat a little dirt," I reply as she hands the bag back. "Where's my brother so I can have some backup, since you seem to be in a mood?"

Her eyes take on a harder glint. "We were up all night with the princess, so don't expect him to help you out. He's in the garage, working on the boat."

Another thing I like about Cami is she doesn't take crap from anyone. "Okay, so where's the princess?" I ask because an uncle needs to see his niece. I also know if I don't mind my P's and Qs, Mama Bear might stop me.

Cami waves toward the family room. "In her swing, starting to fuss."

I hear a small whine and head toward Lilly. "I'll take her out to my brother and give you a break, since there's more than one princess in this house." Probably not the wisest thing to say, but Cami IS cranky too. I draw closer and see Lilly's top-teeth-only, full-on smile when she sees me. She and I have a thing going. I swing her around like an airplane and she smiles at me when I get close to her. Lilly's eyes are blue like mine and Joel's. I can only thank God that the resemblance stops there and she takes after Cami.

Right before I lift her from the swing for an aeronautical solo flight, the smell stops me. Christ. "You need to take care of her diaper before I touch the little heathen." I back up and wave my hand in front of my face. How someone so adorable can smell that bad is beyond me.

Cami shoulders me out of the way with a laugh. "So she goes from princess to heathen because of a little poo?" She unbuckles and lifts Lilly from the swing, nuzzling her smelly daughter's belly.

I'd lose my lunch if there was actually anything in my stomach. "You forget that I was here with Joel when the little heathen exploded and you were at the store. I swear her shit weighed more than she does and it was everywhere. I'm still having nightmares." I shudder for added effect. Joel cleaned Lilly from head to toe without a single gag. I, on the other hand, fought tossing my animal crackers that I'd just shared with Lilly before her explosion.

Cami laughs all the way down the hallway as I follow her back to Lilly's room, which is all pink and puke-y. Cami lays Lilly on the changing table and gets to work. I stand in the doorway, admiring my brother's wife. Not really because Cami's hot; it's more than that. She's soft and her eyes are softer as she gazes at Lilly. She has the entire mommy thing down to a T.

It sounds really stupid when I think like this, but I can't seem to help myself just because I should be able to father children until I'm old and gray. There's something inside me, and that something seems to be a fucking biological clock that says 'fertilize, now'.

Me, Van Stelson the man-whore, wants exactly what my brother has. Every last bit of itthe wife, the baby, the white picket fence. Now there's another reason to gag.

Cami's eyes meet mine. "You okay?"

Since she hooked up with my brother, she's never had even a spark of desire in her eyes for me. That's a good thing, but, hell, I wonder if she even remembers our one night together.

"I'm good. Danny and I are going out for a pint after her game tonight. You never know, I might get lucky and then I'll be more than good."

"With Danny?" Shock is clear in Cami's voice and the hard glint returns to her eyes.

I almost deny it, because getting lucky with Danny will never happen. For some reason the question annoys me, though. "What's wrong with Danny? She's female." Actually, Danny has become my best friend and I try not to let her being female intrude on our friendship.

"There's nothing at all wrong with Danny. She's great, but she's not exactly your type."

My irritation grows. "And what exactly is my type?"

Red creeps up Cami's neck before tingeing her cheeks, and I realize she does remember our one night. She ignores my question and thrusts Lilly into my arms. "Danny's wonderful. Too bad she's too good for you." With that, Cami exits the room and doesn't look back.

Now I feel like the jerk I am. "Buuubba," Lilly says as she grabs at my shirt. And that's another problem. What's with the continued breastfeeding shit? My niece should be past that by now. It embarrasses me every time she grabs my chest. Large pecks do not make drinking partners for a six-month-old. Since the day Cami brought Lilly to the weight room while I was working out shirtless, Lilly wants to see what's under my shirts so she can sneak in a quick snack. Her booby pronunciation will not go over in public without scarring me for life. Good thing she's so damn cute, or this wouldn't work at all.

After one flight around her bedroom and Lilly now in a rugby football hold, we head to search out her father, while I keep her hands busy so she doesn't grab my buuubbas.