"No… No…" Xiao Tianyao whimpered in his unconsciousness, his body trembling violently and trashing on the bed he laid down.

He kept apologizing, but the thing that broke Senja the most was when he started crying, he cried his heart out. It was like nothing was matter anymore for him.

Not even his pride.

With the tears of her own, Senja stroke his cheeks, wiped away the streaming tears from his closed eyes that seemed wouldn't stop.

Her touch stirred him awake, he snapped his eyes opened, disoriented but continued sobbing. His body still trembling, he looked very vulnerable at the moment, like a simple touch would shatter him into thousands pieces.

The image of Xiao Tianyao right now was breaking Senja's heart. She felt his sadness, sorrow, guilty, remorse and many emotions that mixed together.

Finally, Xiao Tianyao's eyes locked on Senja. His eyes were still in haze, as if there was a misty cloud surrounded his vision.

He opened his mouth and with croaked voice he asked. "Luna… is that you?" His voice was laced with hope like his life was depending on Senja's answer.

His first question shattered Senja's soul, she bit down her lips to prevent her sobbing slipped away as she answered with tremble voice.

"I am not Luna." She felt her heart was being stabbed harshly. "I am Senja…"

Senja bit down her lips tightly as she felt the metallic taste on her mouth, but Xiao Tianyao's reaction was all it took to devastate her broken heart.

"Senja…?" He asked with confusion at first, but when seemingly the reality hit him and his eyes becoming more focus on the sight of the girl who was sitting on the edge of the bed. His expression turned into… disappointment.

He was disappointed to see … Senja?

Senja tried to blink back her tears, but his expression still etched with disappointment for seeing her.

She blinked back her tears again, trying so hard and gulped down her sorrow, it wasn't the right time to mourn over something like that.

Of course he wanted Luna, after what he had been through and what Senja was seeing in his memory, of course he wanted Luna…

Both of them had gone through a lot. This painful memory shouldn't reopen again and it was her fault as well to volunteer. She should have realized it. She should have known…

But, somehow she did… ignoring all the warning that had given to her.

Xiao Tianyao tried to sit up and Senja helped him without saying anything. He put his hand over his face to cover his tears, his slump shoulder and trembling body gave away a sliver clue from the destruction that was happening inside.

Senja didn't dare to touch him or saying a word of comfort when she needed a comfort herself.

Whether she was afraid to tear him apart because of the disappointment that it was not Luna who was with him now or she was afraid that it would tear her apart because of the disappointment he would give to her because Senja wasn't Luna.

Senja was afraid of his rejection.

Silently, she stood up and decided that Xiao Tianyao needed his time to process everything and as her words wouldn't mean anything for him, neither herself, at this moment she should leave him alone.

She staggered toward the door, but never made it.

She fell on the floor because her knees gave away by the sound of an anguish screamed from behind her back.

Xiao Tianyao and Senja were only a few steps away with the wooden divider between them, she was hidden from his sight, but Senja felt like the distance between them had grown miles apart with high wall that she couldn't overcome.

Senja was crying silently and her tears fell down on the cold floor when Xiao Tianyao started to smashed everything around him in a fit of anger and sadness. The guilty that engulfed him and also helplessness that ate him alive.

Everything wouldn't be the same again…