Hello, Mr Li: The Christmas Trip Chapter 45
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Joreen thought about what Changyu just said. At first, it didn't make sense, but when she thought about it again, her eyes slowly grew wider.
"Really? But.. I... is.. I don't..." She stammered in embarrassment, finding it difficult to make a coherent statement.
"Take in a long deep breath and ask me whatever is in your mind." Changyu said patiently.
After Joreen relaxed, she asked. "But.. is it... right for... him to feel that kind of 'uncomfortable' around me? I mean..." She still didn't know how to put it. She was always busy and had never had a boy confess to her in real life. Only confessions she had were on social media. Maybe because the boys who saw her didn't get the chance to, or maybe because they were scared of uncle Hoy, or maybe because they didn't like her since she had a different skin tone. In the movie world, she didn't feature as the main lead in Romance dramas until recently with Han Yu. She was more popular as a model since she hadn't gotten to the legal age of shooting a full blown Romance movie. Things about love or feelings were rather strange to her.
"It is right darling." Changyu said. "It is very right for him to feel that way because now, you are no longer a little girl."
"You have been with him for years so you'll agree with me that when you were little, he didn't mind you doing those things like hugging him right?"
Joreen wanted to say she didn't know. Maybe he didn't like it from the onset but didn't tell her? But after thinking about it for a minute, she remembered they were actually closer back then. He always hugged her back, there were even a few times when he initiated it but recently, he stopped. Whenever she hugged him, he didn't hug her back. His body was always stiff.
Sometimes when she touched him, he flinched slightly so she would always assume her hands were too cold or too warm.
"You are a woman. Your body cannot lie. You've grown a lot more than you were back then. So being close to him like that might give him ideas. But because he knows you are not doing it intentionally, it makes it even worse and he'll feel like an asshole for thinking pervertedly when you are just being your innocent self. That is why I mentioned it's a different kind of 'uncomfortable'. But you misunderstood it when he didn't answer. Do you think it's easy for him to admit this to you?"
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"But...."
It was difficult for her to imagine he was actually uncomfortable because of that.
"He... sees me as a woman then?" She asked in surprise and confusion.
Changyu chuckled and whispered, "Don't be silly darling. Look at how big your chest is. You press that into his chest whenever you embrace him and expect him to still think of you as a little girl especially when you are not directly related to him?"
Joreen looked down in embarrassment. How was she so stupid to not think of any of that?
But she had thought since they were kind of like 'family', he wouldn't feel that way. She always hugged her father and her uncle so she assumed it was okay hugging him like that since he was family. Guess she had been wrong.
"There is no reason to be embarrassed. And you shouldn't be so angry about your uncle Hoy. I'm sure he was already getting frustrated with everything."
"What do.. I do?" She looked up to ask her aunt.
"Should I... apologize to him?"
"Nah. You are just going to make things awkward."
"Then I guess I should... stop?" She asked sadly. But she liked being around him. She liked how perfectly she fit into him whenever she embraced him. She liked how he smelled. How was she going to stop now?
"It depends." Changyu said, making Joreen lift her head to look at her with interest.
"It depends on what?"
"How you feel about him."
"W—What?"
"Do you like him?"
"I do." She nodded.
Changyu laughed. "Silly! I mean, as a man. Do you have feelings for him?"
"What? NO!" She raised her voice several octaves higher, causing Jianjun to look at them.
"What evil thing are you suggesting to Jo right now?" Her husband asked from where he was seated.
"This is women's talk. Do not involve yourself with us old man." She rolled her eyes.
He snorted and returned to his magazine while his wife returned her attention to the embarrassed looking Joreen.
"Look dear, I can tell you from experience, that men are quicker to fall for a woman than it is for a woman to. Your actions could make him fall for you and do you know how crazy that is going to be for him? I'll give you the pros and cons but I'll begin with the Cons. He is like your guardian, you are like family, the whole world knows what your relationship is like, you are far younger than him so if by chance he suspects you have a crush on him, it's going to be crazy for him because I'm not sure he would be able to turn down a pretty girl like you. So to him, it would be best if you didn't like him at all. Then, he wouldn't have much of a problem controlling how he feels about you. I am being hypothetical now. That is 'IF' he likes you as a woman."
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"But considering all the circumstances, he may also feel like he took advantage of you and your naivety. Other members of the family and even the world would probably blame him for letting you fall for him since he was supposed to guide you and not fall for you."
"I don't think he likes me that way." Joreen said, "I understand now he may be uncomfortable around me, but it's not possible he likes me that way."
Changyu simply nodded. At least, she had told her this. If she wanted to be direct and honest, Joreen had to know what she would be getting herself into if she made up her mind to pursue her feelings for Hoy.
"But.. what are the pros?" Joreen asked curiously.
"The pros are: You love him, he loves you... you love each other, damn the world and be happy together." She shrugged like it wasn't a big deal.
"... I... don't... love him like that though."
"But... he is your type right?" Changyu asked with a wink.
There was a little pause before Joreen asked, "Isn't he... every lady's type?"
"So you are okay with other ladies having him?"
"Yes... may—be?" Joreen frowned in confusion.
"You should figure it out— how you feel about him. You can always come back to me for advise or just to talk. You know I'll never judge you. And I'll make sure to give you the best advise."
Joreen nodded. She felt a lot better after speaking with her. And this was far more eye opening and educating. Why had everyone been so embarrassed to have this conversation with her?
"One more thing, you should always remember Kyle is your sister's boyfriend."
Joreen looked at her, confusion written all over her face.
"I never forgot that."
"Avoid him. That's the only advise I can give you. Since you are adorable, he may fall for you, and you do not want to have troubles with your sister." She thought it was best to put it that way than tell her straight up that Kyle was already into her.
Cixi and Changyu were pretty close so Cixi had told Changyu earlier about everything including her suspicions.
Joreen thought her worries were unfounded. Why would Kyle like her when he was Reen's boyfriend? Reen was even cooler than she was.
"Aren't you going to party tonight?" Changyu asked, breaking into her thoughts.
Joreen shook her head. "I don't really feel up for it."
"Don't do that. You should have fun, that's why we came here. We may never get the chance to board a ship like this again so have all the fun you can now."
**********
Joreen almost didn't recognize herself after seeing her reflection in the mirror. She wouldn't have known there was a dressing room in the ship had Changyu not told her about it and even taken her there. She simply sat down while the older woman told the make up artist what to do. After 40 minutes, she was ready. A part of her wanted Hoy to be there, another part didn't want him there.
When she entered the hall, she felt several eyes on her immediately and became uncomfortable. She looked around for Reen and finally saw her amongst other young people. They looked like they were playing a game.
Before she could take a step, a young man appeared in front of her with a drink in hand and a smile on her face.
Her eyes darted to the side and her heart skipped again when she saw Hoy who was sitting alone, staring directly at her.
But just like last night, someone obstructed her view of him again.
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