《Dysfunctional – An Assassin’s Guide To Reincarnating In Another World》Dysfunctional - An Assassin's Guide To Reincarnating In Another World
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"Huh? What does he want now?" I groaned, feeling annoyed.
"Er, well...it is regarding your last report on Platinberg, it reached the king a little while ago, and he wants to talk to you about it," Replied Erhtaph with a sigh.
He'd just called me a minute ago, and now I'm in a bad mood. Today was the 15th of March, a day after the new Adventurer ranks were introduced. Give me a break, it's only been a couple of weeks since I woke up from a coma...I mean, yeah, I feel fine and all, but still!
"Don't suppose this is optional?" I inquired hopefully.
"No, of course not, you should know that. Please be at the castle within the hour, alright?" He implored me in a tired-sounding voice.
"Fine...but this time, if he pisses me off, I won't bite my tongue."
"Er...could you at least try to?"
"No way, keeping my thoughts to myself is an absolute no go, the fact that I agreed to do so yesterday was a one time thing. I'll hear what he has to say, but if he gets smart with me, I will fire back."
"...I will try to make sure that he is reasonable."
"That's all I'm asking for."
With that, he hung up and I put down the Spell Card with a sigh...this is the worst. The king has really been grating my gears lately...
"Everything okay, Kuro?" Asked Persia, leaning against me.
"Yeah...I just got called to the castle again. I'm considering ignoring them and just staying home though," I replied with a despondent sigh.
"You probably shouldn't do that," She responded with a wry smile, "Just suck it up and play nice for a few minutes, it's not a big deal, you know."
"That's...easier said than done. When someone annoys me, especially if it's someone who considers themselves above me, I just can't help speaking my mind," I grumbled sheepishly.
"You should try to restrain yourself, at least a little bit, don't you think?"
"I suppose so...fine, I'll try to bite my tongue if he pisses me off...but I probably won't..."
...
...
An hour later, I was at the castle, being guided by one of the guards towards the throne room, where the king was waiting for me alongside Erhtaph. As I entered the room and stepped forward, I reluctantly got down on one knee and bowed, as we're supposed to...I'll never not hate this part.
"You may raise your head. Now, I'm sure that you're aware why I've called you here...and I would also like for you to provide a reason for why you arrived so late," Demanded King Ocroed Rustlands.
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Huh?
"Actually, I have no idea why I'm here, and I'm pretty sure I'm not late, I was informed that I should be here within an hour...it's been just over fifty-five minutes since then, so if anything...I'm early."
"I warn you, do not get insolent with me!" He snapped with a frown.
"I'm not, I was just answering YOUR questions," I retorted, struggling not to add 'dumbass' to the end of my sentence.
"You have some nerve talking back to me like this...!"
"I don't know what you want from me...would you rather I ignored you then?" I inquired innocently.
"How dare you, you arrogant-!" He began, standing up furiously.
"Ahem! Perhaps we should stay on topic, your highness. And Kuro, please be civil," Interrupted Erhtaph, starting to look stressed out.
"Hmph, I suppose you have a point," Huffed the king.
"Fine, whatever. So, why am I here, anyway?" I asked, keeping my tone even.
"Is it not obvious? You are a citizen of the Rustlands, you cannot simply conquer and rename another nation by yourself!" He snapped angrily, "I demand that you cede control of Platinberg and transfer it to the Rustlands instead!"
And why in the name of fuck would I do that? It's not like he did anything to help subdue Platinberg, I'm the one who sent the Vampires there and then earned their loyalty, not him or anyone else. The only person who'd been involved at all besides me was Fuo.
"If you can get the Vampires and Demons to agree to that, then sure, I'll comply. In fact, I can take you there right now," I replied with a mockingly friendly tone, "What do you say...your highness?"
"I will do no such thing! I am the ruler of this nation, it makes no sense for me to put myself in harm's way, the Rustlands will only suffer if the leadership suddenly changes again! You will keep the monsters in check, but Platinberg must be declared to be under the rule of the Rustlands, not under your rule!" He commanded, slamming his fist on the armrest of his throne.
Fuck it, I'm done here. If he pisses me off any more than he already has, I'm not quite sure what I might say or do...
"This conversation is over, we're not going to get anywhere at this rate. I'm the only one who the Vampires and Demons will listen to...that makes me the ruler of Abyss, it's as simple as that. I don't know what your problem is with me, but that's my final say on the matter. You got that?" I remarked icily.
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"Such disrespect warrants exile, watch your mouth! That white copy of yours, he was a problem that should have been yours alone to solve, and yet you selfishly dragged the Rustlands into that incident! And then, you failed to finish him off, he was a part of the recent attack, as a direct result of your failure to kill him! You are to blame for all the conflict that we have experienced following the battle against the Vampires," He remarked spitefully.
Seriously, why does this guy hate me so much? If this goes on, I'll probably end up threatening him or something...I should definitely go.
"Well, thanks for wasting my time, you royal pain in my ass...I'm outta here," I replied with a sigh, activating a teleportation spell I had in my pocket, to take me back to my apartment in an instant.
That went about as well as I'd imagined...and it could have been a lot worse. Oh, well, whatever...hopefully, Erhtaph will smooth things over...
———————————————————————————
Point-of-View: Belia Lasmodeus
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Well, now...how interesting...I'm looking at a pair of praying mantises, one is without a head, which was on the ground and being carried away by ants. Cool. Oh, and also...I just happened to use Observation Magic to check out what was going on in the Rustlands. And wow, that was so intense! Rion Xester and Rex Archer just had a really entertaining pie-eating contest, I was totally invested!
Oh yeah, and side note, right after that, I happened to see the argument between the king of the Rustlands and Kuro...what perfect timing. I can definitely use that friction and tension in my favor, I'm starting to get a clear picture of how to structure the next attack...I've been using Hacte's Corruption Magic to drastically increase the numbers of our disposable troops to trigger the chaos, just like last time, and I'll have my Chaos sidekicks and summons in the thick of things as well...I'll give some of them specific roles and-.
"Hey, cut that out, Belia, you've got a totally evil look on your face right now," Whispered Shiro, nudging me subtly.
Woah, seriously? Close one, I need to act like I'm the peaceful type to keep the summons convinced that they were summoned by the 'good' side. I should converse with them to build familiarity, it's easier to gain someone's trust if you develop a good rapport with them...and once you do that, there's nothing more satisfying than watching their betrayed expressions when you break that trust...
"So, you all seem to be pretty strong, I'm impressed by what I've seen so far," I remarked in a friendly tone.
"Yeah, well, I gotta admit, Whitey McWhiterson over there's pretty strong too," Ren admitted grudgingly.
"My name is Shiro," He replied with a strained smile.
"Same meaning, same difference."
Wow, Shiro is showing some serious restraint...I can sense his bloodlust, it's pretty intense...
"So, what about you?" Inquired Shin curiously, "Are you strong too?"
"Who, me?" I replied with a smile, "Oh, I'm very strong...so strong, in fact, that there's no injury that'd cause the safety barrier to teleport me out."
"What, you mean you're immortal?" Asked Skylar in awe.
"No, she's not, she can keep restoring herself so long as she has her Divine Magic, which can't be replenished or restored, so she's screwed if and when it ever runs out," Answered Shiro, replying before I could and giving me a subtle side glance as he did...that jerk, he only did that because I happened to unintentionally reveal his weakness to them...I didn't mean to, that was an honest accident!
Okay, fine, that's a lie, maybe I did mean to...because, you know, I thought it'd be funny.
"But before that happens, is she unkillable?" Inquired Dwayne with a look of intrigue.
"Wanna find out? Hey, Boob-...Belia, why don't you take my place for the next round, I'll tap back in for the subsequent fights, cool?" Suggested Shiro.
He was totally about to call me 'Boobs' just now, wasn't he? Hm, but that's not actually a half-bad suggestion...showing them a glimpse of how powerful I am, that might actually be kinda fun...
"Yeah...sure, why not?" I replied with a smile, standing up and looking around, "Alright, then...so, which of you wants to fight a semi-divine being?"
_____________________________________________
Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Don't forget to vote, and feel free to leave a comment, I appreciate any and all feedback and criticism!
Also, check out my Instagram account @aimdaqs for posts relating to this book.
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