Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd hunkered his shoulders and clenched his teeth as he roared down the highway at an almost unheard of 1.5 miles per minute, actually shifting the car into third gear and putting slight pressure on the gas pedal. As he drove he fumed at the fact that Yu'umo'o would dare interfere in his area of operations.

And with such a lame cover as a diplomatic mission. Everyone suspected diplomats to be spies or worse. The average being on the street hated politicians, lawyers, and diplomats in any order and would gleefully fire any of the three into the sun with a mag-driver cannon. Even the Terrans, as young and undoubtedly inexperienced as they would be at diplomacy, would suspect diplomats of being spies, saboteurs, and bad guys.

If the Terrans were experienced at diplomacy they wouldn't have sent a Mantid to speak for them, Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd thought to himself as he drove. Wise, since they are a young race without a long history to speak for them to other races, but it still shows their relative inexperience in diplomacy.

Beside him, Major Bloodfist thought about what he'd just seen. It had already raised a few alarms that despite his eccentric "I am a spy" attitude, Ya'ahrd was competent with a grenade launcher and had quickly figured out the shotgun, and was excellent at taking orders from an overwatch. When he had been told to freeze he had instantly stopped moving.

Now, as the massive car raced through the darkness, Major Bloodfist considered what they'd been able to learn so far.

Ya'ahrd was highly skilled. He was naive and gullible about Terra, but that was to be expected. Nobody was prepared for Terra, especially the Hamburger Kingdom or the Vodka Empire for sheer insanity. While Ya'ahrd might not have caught on that he was taking part in a vacation package for rich weirdos, sooner or later he might.

Or worse, he's actually getting data, Bloodfist thought to himself. With his eyes closed he prepared a quick report that suggested that Ya'ahrd might actually be gaining data that might be useful, far more than MilInt might have suspected.

The way he clutched onto old historical R&D plans in particular worried Bloodfist.

Could their tech really be that lagged behind? Bloodfist mused. Not materials, not science, per-se, but actual war-fighting tech? What if that's what he's seeing? The F4 Phantom with 'modern' materials?

He sent a memo to MilInt and LoneStar to run the specs on an F4 Phantom built with modern materials, still staying analog for the most part, to double-check it against Lanaktallan war machines that had been encountered so far.

After a few hours Ya'ahrd pulled over and got out, trotting around and yawning, stretching his arms and doing some weird forward lunges and slides to stretch his flanks. He shook his head with a spray of saliva then wiped his mouth and looked around.

"Major Bloodfist, would you be willing to drive us to the volcano?" Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd asked.

"Um, we have to take a hydrofoil to the island, sir," The Terran said.

Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd nodded. "Of course. Do you mind driving until we reach the hydrofoil? I am extremely fatigued and it is not safe for me to drive in such condition and I disapprove of the use of stimulants when it is avoidable," he said. "You are a competent and obviously loyal minion. Would you drive?"

Major Bloodfist raised an eyebrow, surprised at that.

"Yes, sir, I can drive," Bloodfist said.

"Thank you, Major Bloodfist. I appreciate your willingness as well as your obvious skills," Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd said, yawning again. He opened the rear passenger door and made motions with his hands. "Scoot, ninjas. I don't want to crush you. Go sit in the front seat or something."

He gave the ninjas to the count of fifteen in his head, then climbed in back, leaning against the back of the seat and relaxing. It only took a minute for him to be able to arrange the seatbelt to keep him comfortably upright.

"Wake me when we reach the hydrofoil, Major," Ya'ahrd said, closing all six eyes. He sighed a few times, recited a mantra, and let the hypnotic trigger take him into sleep.

----------------

Ya'ahrd woke up when the car stopped. He had been in a deep dreamless sleep to recharge quickly, only six to eight hours instead of the twelve his people usually needed. He opened the door and got out, stretching and looking around.

He was at a set of docks, the wooden planks leading out onto the blue ocean. Behind him was a city, strange looking to Ya'ahrd's eyes. Tall buildings and short buildings mixed together. He could faintly hear the honking of vehicles and the background noise of any large metropolis.

"Where are we, Major?" Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd asked Major Bloodfist.

"San Angelos. It's two hours by hydrofoil to your volcano lair," the large Terran said.

Chrome Cortez got out and the car springs squeaked as the weight was lifted off of them.

"Heinrich?" Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd said.

"Yes, mien Herr?" Heinrich said, materializing out of thin air and clicking his heels together.

"Is the volcano lair's system ready?" Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd asked.

"Jawohl, mein Herr," Heinrich said.

"Excellent. Prepare for our arrival. I need to make immediate plans," Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd said.

"If I may, sir," Heinrich said, double-checking the data from LoneStar, MilInt and TerraSol Vacation Excitement LLC.

"Yes, Heinrich?" Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd said, stopping trotting down the dock.

"Your rival is setting up on a nearby island to you. It is only three hundred miles out of your way, perhaps two hours via hydrofoil," Heinrich said.

"Really?" Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd said, reaching behind him and slowly drawing his grenade launcher. He turned to Major Bloodfist. "Does the hydrofoil have camouflage systems?"

"Yesssss," Major Bloodfist said, drawing the word out as he quickly pinged his boss. "It might take a little bit to get it ready."

"Excellent. Disguise the hydrofoil as... hmm... AHA! Disguise it as a Mantid separatist pirate vessel, issue out disguises for the crew, and plot a course for Yu'umo'o's pathetic island," Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd ordered.

Major Bloodfist groaned as he realized the explanation for why the Mantid would attack them in the desert had just come back around to bite him the ass. He delivered a warning to the LoneStar Legal Department and forwarded the orders to the crew on the boat.

Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd turned to the two Rigellian bodyguards. "Please arm yourself with heavy weapons, my dears," he said, rubbing his top two hands together even while he held the grenade launcher in his lower hands. "We have a delivery to make."

Major Bloodfist had to admit that Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd had the 'evil laugh' down pat as Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd trotted down the dock toward the hydrofoil.

---------------

Yu'umo'o was an Executor Special Services Agent with decades of experience in covert actions under his belt. From destabilizing an economy to delivering bioweapons to cause a plague in order to reduce the population of a neo-sapient world, he had performed dozens of missions.

The best ones, to him, were when he was able to take credit for Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd's successes and shuffle his own failures onto Ba'ahrn Ya'ahrd with their superiors.

Personally, he couldn't believe that the Terrans had not only allowed him to land after closely inspecting the ship, but they had allocated him and his diplomatic team an entire island off the west coast of the Hamburger Kingdom.

The island was beautiful. Temperate rainforest, a slumbering volcano, artistic buildings. It was a waste of resources, something that Yu'umo'o personally despised, but since the Terrans weren't part of the Unified Council, he could take the time to admire them.

The Terrans would, after sufficent gentling, make an excellent addition to the Lanaktallan people's buffer zone. Having them between the Lanaktallan people and the Mantid and Treana'ad species would give the Lanaktallans time to develop counter-measures for the insectiod species.

Yu'umo'o stood on the dock and stared at the ships he could see. The Terrans had surface and submersible craft around the island as well as drones on station. They claimed it was for his safety but he knew it was to keep any Lanaktallan on the island as well as watch for any attempt to sabotage.

Executory Covert Actions had recommended bringing a bioweapon with him, but after the ship had been searched so carefully, he now knew that the Terrans would have discovered any attempt at treachery.

A craft was coming in fast, zipping between the two Terran ships guarding the island. It was riding high on hydroplanes and as Yu'umo'o watched it slowed down, more and more of it sinking into the water. It was a large one, the size of a good sized pleasure yacht, but something about it made Yu'umo'o worry.

It was painted a dusty yellowish brown, had crude Mantid heads on it with crossed bladearms underneath, was flying a black flag with the mantid head and crossed bladearms underneath. It swooped to the side, then came in parallel to the docks.

Yu'umo'o almost didn't realize what it was in time.

There were Rigellian females on the side of the deck, both with portable multi-barrel kinetic weapons, a handful of humans with weapons kneeling down by the rail, and what looked like a big Mantid at the wheel of the ship.

Yu'umo'o looked around with all six eyes, saw there was no cover, and jumped off the dock and into the cold salt water.

The Mantid behind the wheel of the hydrofoil fired a grenade launcher, one handed, putting eight grenades in the air that all hit different boats. The two Rigellians hosed the docks with heavy caliber autofire, shredding the plascrete, and the rest shot at the boats. At the back of the hydrofoil a large cyborg stood up, holding a four pack missile launcher, and launched missiles at the space-ship sitting on the plascrete pad. Two men entirely covered in black cloth fired bows.

The ships exploded from the grenades. The dock exploded into chunks. The other boats took heavily caliber combat rifle shots. The missiles hit the spaceship.

Which exploded.

The hydrofoil heeled over and sped away, even as the two vessels gave chase and two more closed in to cover the sudden gaps.

Yu'umo'o just stared as he struggled through the water, barely able to keep his head up. The two arrows had hit him in the rear right flank, penetrating deeply.

He'd heard the Mantid yell at him as the boat sped away.

"SO LONG, SUCKERS!"

---------------------

TRENA'AD HIVE WORLDS

THIS IS SO EXCITING!

>crams popcorn into his mouth

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TNVARU GESTALT

They don't know they're playing a game, do they?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

MANTID FREE WORLDS

Oh, to them? It's deadly serious.

To us? Hilarity.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TNVARU GESTALT

You wouldn't do this to us, would you?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TERRASOL

Are you at war with us?

////////

TNVARU GESTALT

No.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TERRASOL

Then no.

/////////

TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

I have to admit, it is pretty funny.

Those two are going to be fighting each other and forgetting they're spies, won't they?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

CYBERNETIC ORGANISM COLLECTIVE

The one that continues espionage while attempting to eliminate his enemy is the real spy.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TERRASOL

Neither was.

We got the real ones.

/////////

MANTID FREE WORLDS

Really? Tell us about it.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TERRASOL

No. We took them to the Black Citadel.

/////////

MANTID FREE WORLDS

Welp, sucks to be them.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---