On a remote island forced to the surface by the fearsome weapons of the deadly Mantid Glassing Attack, off the mist-shrouded coast of the Western Burgerkingdom, is hidden the volcanic lair of the Lanaktallan's most dangerous super-spy.

A being of such cleverness and subtlety that he had invaded the Terran Confederacy of Aligned System's heavily defended home world.

The volcano lair was the home of the fearsome Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd, who had come to TerraSol with one objective.

To force the Confederacy to its knees and discover how to defeat the crazed lemurs of Terra.

Deep within the volcano, in addition to powerful weapons and legions of highly disciplined faceless armored minions, were laboratories dedicated to ferreting out the secrets of not only the Terran Confederacy's government, but of its powerful military that enabled the insane lemurs of Terra to resist the might of the Unified Council.

In one scientific testing bay, the fearsome arch-villain super-spy Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd stood with two of his most trusted minions and stared at the object inside the test chamber.

Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd stood at the smartglass, staring at the creation beyond. He rubbed two hands together, his other two engaged in holding his kittykitty and petting it. Beside him the ferocious looking goodboi sat, its tongue hanging out, practically quivering with delight.

After all, Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd had spent a good two hours playing 'fetch' with it. Then he let it chase the two spies he had caught, the goodboi barking as it sped down the beach, the unlucky spies racing back to the ocean to swim away, cursing Ba'ahn Ya'ard's name.

Beyond the smartglass sat one of the most lethal machines Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd had ever seen.

A long fuselage was 19.2 meters long. It had a wingspan of 11.7 meters. Two turbo jet engines. A dual-being cockpit. Its wings were capable of carrying a dizzying loadout of weapons. It was currently carrying multipile multi-weapon pods as well as an advanced sensor package on the nose.

Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd rubbed his hands together as the test started. The huge fan at the back of the room picked up speed and all too soon air was being forced through the wind. Ba'ahn Ya'arhd watched as the 'speed' rose faster and faster until it was over twice the speed of sound on Terra at sea level.

He was absolutely horrified and he clattered his hoofs slightly in anxiety.

The body was made of cheap plentiful titanium alloy, the skin was the same, only sprayed with stealth paint that any Terran could buy at the nearby hardware store that made it nearly invisible to modern sensors by using a polymer based artificial chromium stealth coating! It used combustion thrust engines, only highly refined plentiful plentiful petroleum to cause a chemical reaction to force thrust! It carried a massive arsenal, including a hidden rapid fire projectile cannon that was designed to fire depleted uranium discarding sabot fin stabilized rounds that would shred even battlesteel!

It began going through 'turning tests' and Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd became even more agitated. He opened up his datapad and looked at the performance data for the top of the line aerospace fighter and shuddered in anxiety.

If this craft, the F4 Phantom Aerospace Multi-Role Craft, gets into production and deployed across the front, the air war is lost! he thought to himself, watching the plane perform 'maneuvers' in the wind tunnel.

'Chrome Cortez' (real name: Juan Sqwakiki Lymner) watched his boss shuffle about anxiously as the Lanaktallan super-spy watched the ancient plane that had been replicated with parts 'bought off the black market' at great expense.

Finally the test came to an end and workers in white clean-suits moved in to use the equipment to begin moving it back out to the next test.

"Otto!" Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd snapped out.

The Digital Sentience Intelligence Analyst appeared, as always, as a tired looking human behind a large desk covered in file folders with a crude appearing computer in the middle. The DS had a half-finished cigarette in his hand and a half-empty bottle of alcohol next to him.

"You called, Comrade?" the DS asked, wondering to himself what insane plan his employer was about to embark upon now that the invasion of Terra was over and the Lanaktallan prisoners were on the mend thanks to the new technique devised.

"How close are the Terrans to fielding this war machine?" Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd asked, moving down the steel hallway.

"Very close, Comrade Ya'ahrd, much further than anyone would ever expect," Otto said, managing to keep from snickering. "The invasion of the TerraSol System has kicked all the Terran R&D projects into high gear."

"Have you had any luck determining where the vehicle is being manufactured?" Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd asked.

Otto shook his head, taking a drag of his cigarette. "No. Unfortunately, it appears that the manufacturing technique is what's called a 'distributed supply chain' with multiple assembly points," Otto said, checking the historical documents. "Literally dozens of manufacturers are involved in the producing the parts to build the aerospace fighter."

Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd stopped, turning to stare at the DS, who had slid along the hallway behind his desk. "Dis-trib-uted Man-u-fact-uring? That's madness. It adds days or weeks to any construction."

"Terran military forces estimate they'll be able to produce approximately two hundred and forty a day across sixty manufacturing facilities in the Terra-Sol system, with the rest of the factories completing construction within the next two months across Confederate Space," Otto said, using the ancient stats for war-time production from before the Diaspora for fighter craft production. "Once that happens, the rate of production will be nearly geometric."

Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd made a low noise of distress. It only took the Terrans a few months to build war production facilities, unlike the several years for the Unified Council.

Why, he'd even seen video of humans building incredibly tough high altitude bombers made completely from material that would require less tech base than a neo-sapient world. Otto had been able to get the specifications of those bombers, the B-29 Super-Fortress, and it was a nightmare as far as Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd was concerned.

The rest of the Unified Council is convinced that the same designs that worked for millions of years will work again, but they have no clue just how formidable the Terran R&D system is! Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd thought to himself, wringing his two hands even as he petted his hairless feline. Those aerospace assets are almost completely invisible to sensors and targeting systems and carry enough weapons to level cities! Even atomic weaponry!

"Thank you, Otto, that will be all," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd said.

Otto nodded, taking a shot of alcohol as he disappeared from view.

"Herr Ya'ahrd," Heinrich said. The eVILiaison appeared suddenly, clicking his holographic heels and bowing at the waist.

"Yes, Heinrich?" Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd asked.

"Your four PM appointments have arrived," the eVILiaison said.

"Ah, thank you for the reminder," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd said.

"Of course, mien Herr," Heinrich said. He clicked his heels and vanished.

Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd hurried down to his office, his anxiety easing as he thought about his meeting coming up. Powerful enemies of the Confederacy had agreed to meet with him to help him plot on how to take down the most militarily powerful enemy the Lanaktallan people had ever faced.

He sat down at his desk, petting his warboi with one hand and his hairless feline with another.

The door opened and the powerful Terran entered the room.

The figure was large, even for a human, with what Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd had to admit was impressive and well defined musculature. The Terran wore a pair of tight shorts and a cape as he bounced into the room on the ends of his feet, holding a pose that involved seemingly flexing every muscle in his body, his long flowing hair streaming out behind him.

"YEAH, BABY! IT'S THE TOTAL PACKAGE! LE'EHCKS LO'OGAHR! ONE OF THE STRONGEST MEN IN THE WORLD!" the Terran shouted out, bouncing across the room on his tip-toes, his entire body flexing. The Terran reached the chair and sat down, contorting himself in such a way that his musculature was prominently displayed, with the huge muscles on his chest bouncing in an alternating pattern.

Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd had to admit it was quite hypnotic and compelling.

He turned his attention to the door as his second guest came in.

"DESTRUCTION AND CREATION ARE TWO SIDES OF THE SAME COIN! YOU MUST DESTROY TO CREATE AND CREATE TO DESTROY! IT IS THE LAW OF A MALEVOLENT UNIVERSE!" the Terran shouted as he leaped into the room.

The Terran was tall, taller than Mister Lo'ogahr, his head bald except for a single curling lock of yellow hair on his forehead and what Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd had to admit was an impressive yellow mustache. He wore a blue inform with silver edging and Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd realized that the human was massive, even larger than Le'ehcks Lo'ogahr.

Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd sat straight up when the newcomer, Mayjer A'ahmstrahng, suddenly flexed and his torso covering exploded into a shower of sparkling swirls and ribbons around the massive Terran former military officer.

"STRENGTH A HUNDREDFOLD, VALOR A THOUSANDTHFOLD!" roared out.

Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd clapped with excitement as the massive Terran rotated slowly with pretty flowers and sparkles erupting around him. Light glinted off of the spiked metal gauntlets inscribed with complex runework at the Terran posed.

The Terran stopped and sat in a chair.

"Drinks?" Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd asked, making a mental note to find a trainer to teach him how to do such elaborate entrances. He had looked into ones in spy movies, but they were mostly just stepping out of the shadows and either shooting someone in the back of the head or karate-chopping right in the kisser (which is what the Terrans called it) which didn't really fit Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd's sense of style.

Now, Le'ehcks Lo'ogahr, mortal foe of the Terran League of Justice, and Mayjer A'ahmstrahng, they OBVIOUSLY knew how to make an entrance.

"Yes, please," Le'ehcks said.

"That would be delightful," Mayjer A'ahmstrahng stated.

One of Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd's minions, looking snazzy in red and white, entered with a drink tray, pouring all three beings a drink to their specifications, even adding ice.

"I have interviewed a few of your rivals. They all seem to suffer from some sort of emotional or temper disorder," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd said sadly. "Many of them dress in such a manner I fear they may suffer from severe clinical depression, dressed all in black and purple and the like," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd tsk'd, another Terran habit he'd picked up out of love for the way it sounded.

"The younger, more inexperienced set often fall in love with the darkity dark grimdark asthetic," Lo'ogahr lamented.

"Too many of them suffer from embarrassment over their in-ability to hone their mind and body as one," Mayjer A'ahmstrahng said.

"Indeed," Lo'ohgahr sipped at his drink and nodded sagely.

"With the recent unpleasantness out of the way, I believe it is time to begin amassing intelligence on how I can defeat the Terran Confederacy, and for that, I'll need allies," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd said. He pointed at Lo'ohgahr with one finger. "Your Legion of Evil Doom sounds good, although I don't really go in for mass destruction."

"Not everyone does, but it has its place," Lo'ohgahr said, flexing his left arm to make his biceps pop out while he sipped at his 80 year old whiskey daintily.

"Your Full Metal Brotherhood is also intriguing," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd said, pointing at Mayjer A'ahmstrahng. "Application of transformation technology in war efforts is highly exciting. I share your unpleasant feelings at the Terran Confederate military shutting down your techo-alchemist program."

"Thank you, Mister Ya'ahrd," Mayjer A'ahmstrahng replied, his muscles rippling as he took a long drink off of his metal stein of mead. Several of his muscles twitched and gleamed, light sparkles appearing just a finger's width from the skin.

Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd had to admit, it was a fascinating effect.

"Are you not concerned with your inability to contact your people and your agency?" Lo'ohgahr asked.

"Not at all. I often spend long periods of time inserting myself into the population. My cover as an import-export facilitator specializing in rare antiquities can take quite a while to establish, especially with the interruption caused by the invasion," Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd stated.

"Of course, Mister Ya'ahrd. An effective cover is vital to a super-spy's existence," Mayjer A'ahmstrahng said.

Ba'ahn Ya'ahrd leaned forward. "Let us plot to bring the Confederacy to its knees."

-----------------

TREANA'AD CATTLE CONSORTIUM

IT'S SO EXCITING!

---NOTHING FOLLOWS--

MANTID SEPARATIST FACTION

I can't stop laughing.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

AKLTAK SOARING WORLDS

I think I get it.

It's just... they ruled over us with an iron fist their machinations seem so involved and amazing. It's almost terrifying the level of planning he commits to.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

CLONE WORLDS CONSORTIUM

Really?

Oh, little sister, you completely need to sit with Diggy and me and watch some of the old Age of Paranoia documentaries. They'll blow your mind with the level of planning that the Terran spies got up to.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

ONE OF THE BIRD PEOPLE WORLDS AKLTAK SOARING WORLDS

Really?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

DIGITAL ARTIFICIAL SENTIENCE SYSTEMS

"You may have defeated me, Double-Oh-Nineteen, but my secret plan all along was to be defeated so that you brought me into the Bongistan Counter-Intelligence Agency Headquarters!"

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

CLONE WORLDS CONSORTIUM

"Ah, but Snowfield, we scanned you and disabled all of your cybernetics!"

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

DIGITAL ARTIFICIAL SENTIENCE SYSTEMS

"BUT, Mister Jason Bond, I seduced the scanner tech, sexually, months ago! My cybernetics are indeed working! Prepare to witness the unstoppable hacking technology of my fully functional quantum hacking device!"

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD WORLDS (Can't we find a better one than 'hive'? That sounds so... insulting)

That one's a classic. Early Diaspora spy and prior to the Diaspora stuff is the best.

Hey! Leave my header alone! You're going to start arguments outside of Ice Cream Parlors!

---NOTHING Sorry FOLLOWS---

FOUR ARMED FURRY TNVARU PEOPLE WHO AREN'T PUFFIES

I can see why he's so worried about that aerospace fighter. It looks mean.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

PUFFY OPINIONS

Except it's from before humans even invented FTL drive.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

SCARY ASS LOOKING BIRD PEOPLE THE AKLTAK

It used refined petroleum. How does it go to twice the speed of sound. The fastest you can go with petroleum is barely enough to reach flight.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

MANTID DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME OPINIONS

Before they developed FTL drive, the Terrans had invented petroleum refining methods to allow some of their aircraft to reach speeds of five times the speed of sound.

HEY! QUIT THAT!

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

>These security headers are really screwed up.

IT MUST BE NEAT TO FLY AKLTAK GESTALT

No! Refined that thickly, isn't it explosive?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

>How bad?

TNVARU I LOVE YOU PLUSHIE GESTALT SOON TO BE A MAJOR MOTION PICTURE

You've met humans, right?

Oh, man. That's a lot of aerospace fighters.

Is Terra really going to start making them? And isn't it dangerous to admit to the Confederacy's production capabilities.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

>They're emergency coding for the disaster and emergency lines. I'm sorting it out, but I've got to rotate through their old headers to apply the modern ones

MANTID PLEASE DON'T PUNCH ME IN THE FACED GESTALT

They're not going to start making them, but trust me, those numbers he quoted could be put out by a single Adapteus Cruiser. They can produce one aerospace fighter every sixty seconds.

And Adapteus Cruisers have been pretty much obsolete since the Second Terran/Mantid War.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

>That's eight thousand years of headers.

TELKAN VOLCANO SPECIAL SPONSORED BY GURDY'S DUCK OIL

You two just wait till you see the Terrans in actual action. I know it all seems incredible, impossible, but once you see them it's frightening.

Wait, he's meeting with other spies.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

>Plus, some of them are invalid on the primary communication lines so I have to just assign temporary ones.

BIOLOGICAL ARTIFICIAL SENTIENCE SYSTEMS STARTED OUT AS FURRIES RIGHT

Yeah. "Spies."

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

>Well, get to it.

MANTID GREENIES RULE WARRIORS DROOL WE GOT IT WORKING N * (N-1) / 2 IS LIFE AND LOVE

OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING!

THAT ENTRANCE!

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TELKAN FORGE WORLDS

He has no clue he's being watched the whole time?

And why are the two muscular men so funny?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD FOOT RACING CLUB

THIS SEASON IS SO AMAZING

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

MANTID COLLECTIVE OF FREE WILL WE WILL NOT SUBMIT!

You have to understand a lot of stuff to get it.

Seriously, you don't find two oiled up mostly naked dancing Terrans to be hilarious?

Hey, can you not with my header? It's important to us culturally.

sorry

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TNVARU FURRY DON'T USE THAT TRUST ME THAT'S NOT THE WORD USE FUZZY FUZZY SYSTEMS THAT READS TERRIBLE TRY SOMETHING ELSE NEXT TIME

Those guys looked terrifying to me. They look like they could pick up a tank and throw it.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

CYBERNETIC ORGANISM COLLECTIVE

Those two probably could. Sure, it's all civilian grade body-mods, but 'civilian grade' for the Terran Confederacy and 'civilian grade' in the Unified Council areas are much much different things.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TNVARU WORLDS OF FABULOSA WONDER AND - OK BE SERIOUS MAN

Its funny even though I don't understand any of it.

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

MANTID UNIFIED CASTES OF FREE WILL

You know, I shouldn't say this, but remember that bit with the datacube and him admitting to the fact there was three Precursors?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

TREANA'AD HIVE WORLDS

Yes?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

MANTID FREE WORLDS

HAH! IN YOUR FACE! I WAS RIGHT! WE SHOULD HAVE PAID ATTENTION!

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---

BIOLOGICAL ARTIFICIAL SENTIENCE SYSTEMS

Oh shit, we're never going to hear the end of this, are we?

---NOTHING FOLLOWS---