Chapter 114

ERIKA LEIGH PARLAM

Sunlight passed through the blinds, making me blinked from the ray of the morning sun.

When my eyes finally adjusted to the daylight, my gaze landed on someone's arm wrapped around me.

I automatically smiled and stared lovingly at my Andy.

Her chest rose and fell in an even breathing; she looked so perfect, beautiful— peaceful.

I gently caressed her cheek; studying her face.

Her eyes stirred; guess I woke her up.

"Good morning love," I greeted.

She smiled, "Morning."

Needing a shower, I pecked her lips before rolling out of bed. But then, my legs wobbled under my weight as soon I sat up and I quickly grabbed down the bed to steady myself.

'shit'

I could barely move my legs, then I heard a chuckle.

I turned to Andy and shot her a sharp glare though my cheeks went all red and hot. She then pushed her lips inward, smiling in her eyes guiltily.

'god'

The hour passed by, we had our breakfast, casual talk, some chores but with everything, there was tension.

… a tension none of us wanted to address or maybe just waiting for a timing or just waiting who would open up first.

And what surprise me was when Andy asked if we could hang out in my apartment and that she'll cook and have our lunch there.

That puzzled me, it has been a while since she visited my place.

I wondered but I still agreed.

[*********]

Erika's Apartment

THIRD PERSON'S POV

(Can I make it — viLelouch's POV?)

'hehehe'

'Ahem'

As usual, Andy's cooking was the best and while she was doing the dishes, Erika laid down a storage drive in the counter top which earned a puzzled look from her as she was rinsing the foamy plate.

"I compiled a lot of our pictures together and saved it here," Erika motioned to the drive.

"Also, I recorded a video, me on the piano, but I want you to listen to it when I'm already in Kanada," she added.

The mention of Kanada made Andy to pause from rinsing the plate for a moment.

"How about I listen to it now?" She proposed.

"I prefer it live than forcefully satisfying myself watching you inside the four corners of a TV screen."

Though, Erika noticed how stern those words came out from her girlfriend, she let it slide and went her way to the piano.

Erika scooted as Andy joined her to sit on that little chair.

Erika begun to press some random keys.

"The lyrics won't fit love," she complained.

"Then let's just say— you're in Kanada right now, singing me this," Andy insisted.

The thought stung to both of them but Erika brushed it off and went on playing the right notes by then.

Andy rested her head slightly on Erika's shoulder.

"I mean every word in this song love," Erika muttered.

Andy hummed and nodded.

[I'm here, you're there

But your love is with me everywhere I go

This I know…]

[I'm near you're far,

Driving away in your little car

But my love will follow you everywhere]

[Best believe I'll make mistakes

But love won't stop, it has no brakes]

[Strong is what we are whenever we're apart

I'll be right where you are

I'm in your heart]

[So don't you worry 'bout a thing

Or all the miles in between

You have my heart

You had it from the start

I'll love you from afar]

A dry smile curved up on Andy's lips while she listened and at the same time, her heart has been squeezed into a pulp to dry.

[I hear them say

That what we have may fade away

But I refuse

We'll never lose…]

[Best believe I'll make mistakes

But love won't stop, it has no brakes]

[Strong is what we are whenever we're apart

I'll be right where you are

I'm in your heart]

[So don't you worry 'bout a thing

Or all the miles in between

You have my heart

You had it from the start

I'll love you from afar…]

The two sat in silence after Erika hit the last note.

No one moved, the air around— thick.

The sound of their heartbeat rung in their ears as a deafening silence surround them.

"Will it be possible to introduce me to your family as your girlfriend before leaving?" Andy asked, breaking the silence.

She pulled her head away from her girlfriend's shoulder so she could meet her gaze but Erika turned away and locked her gaze on the piano keys instead.

After a moment, Andy did the same.

"Would it be so much to ask for you to come out to them before you leave?"

"I'll be by your side— if you let me."

Erika squeezed her eyes shut, stood up, anger knotted in her stomach and burned her throat.

Just how many times will they argue in that topic?

Why can't just Andy understand?

It made her furious.

"I can't Andy!" She snapped.

"I'm not ready yet!"

"And you know I'm going to train with my Uncle—"

"… the man who disowned her daughter for that same reason!"

Andy slammed her fist on the piano keys which made Erika to jolt and flinched. The sound echoed around the room.

"I'm fucking tired with that damn reason Erika!" She snapped back, her eyes sharp and burning in anger too.

"When will you tell them that you are fucking gay?"

"… that you have a girlfriend waiting for you so damn long?!"

"I'm getting tired waiting for nothing Erika!"

Tears begun to well around Erika's eyes but still fought a glaring battle with her girlfriend.

"I'm hurting, trying to understand you," Andy continued, her voice not yelling anymore but still with anger, stern.

"I've given you time when you asked—"

"… but how long will I wait Erika?"

"I'm starting to think that you will never chose me over your family and over this fucking society!"

That made Erika's ears to fume in anger, her chest rose and fell.

She wanted to yell at Andy's face that she would choose her and that she's just not ready yet.

"I'm trying Andy!" She defended herself.

"Well, it doesn't show!" Andy yelled back right away.

Erika's jaw locked, her muscles tensed and her hands were shaking in so much anger.

"Are you fucking blind?" She hissed.

"I know I am a coward!"

"… but I'm fucking trying!"

"Try more harder!" Andy yelled again.

"I love you."

"Living and being with you brought so much happiness in me."

"… but reality will always be real at the end of the day Erika!"

"Even if how much you kiss me, hug me, sleep with me: I'll always be doubtful if you truly love me or it's just that— you love me in the four corners of my bedroom!"

'damn'

A burning furry swelled inside Erika. She can't accept what Andy has been spouting.

How could she doubt her?

"Are you hearing yourself?" She yelled back.

"I love you!"

"I fucking do!"

Tears streaming down her face by then, her heart sunk.

"I may not be honest with myself to others but you know that I am to you!"

"I gave you myself, my soul!"

"How could you doubt my love Andy?!"

This time, anger curled hot in Andy's gut ready to flare. He balled her fist and stood up abruptly sending the tiny chair to fumble backward.

"You can't blame me for thinking that!" She reasoned, her eyes narrowed, her teeth clenched.

"You worry too much coming out to your parents, but you won't do anything to change them!"

"You're so concerned about what other people think!"

"And what about what I think?"

"It seems like other people are more important to you than me!"

Erika's heart throbbed in pain and anger. She greeted her teeth to suppress her sobbing cry which made her lips to quiver.

"I'm trying — and fuck you for not seeing that!"

She screamed her frustration with that, and tears continually flowing.

"It's just not that easy!" She hissed.

"You just had it easy!"

"No one in your family batted an eye that you are gay!"

"You can just fool around knowing your family has your back!"

Andy snorted mockingly, "Bullshit!"

Tears started to brim in her eyes.

"No one said it would be easy!"

"I kept telling you that I will be with you every step of the way!"

" And I never had it easy!"

"You have no idea!"

"I was alone fighting for myself when I came out!"

"I had no one when my family turned their back on me!"

"But I'm not letting you go through that!"

"I kept telling you that I will be with you in this!"

"I'll fight with you even if the whole world is against it!"

Silent tears finally rolled down her cheeks, she wiped them with her palms.

By then, Erika sat down on a couch nearby and raked her hair.

"You know what?"

"We're not going anywhere in this fight," Erika said, tears still flowing.

"And if you're tired with me then be with someone who can show you off."

Tears streamed down her face even more, a whimper could be heard and her shoulders shook as she sobbed.

"Are you fucking hearing yourself?" Andy yelled at her once more.

"Yes!" Erika yelled back, meeting Andy's glare.

"Isn't that what you have been itching to do?" Erika continued.

Andy stood there, stunned.

Erika snorted, "Don't you dare tell me it's not true!"

"I'm not that naïve!"

"… the way you fuck me last,"

"… the way you kiss me, the touch, the feeling — they all told me your fucking goodbyes!" Erika screamed those words at the top of her lungs.

She crumbled in her seat and she sobbed more, her cries were now hoarse.

Andy remained stunned at his feet, unmoving. She felt like every muscle in her body were freezing as she felt suddenly cold.

The color on her face faded as the feeling of fear crept through her veins.

"But you're not the one dumping me here— I'm dumping you!" Erika stated firmly, eyes unwavering as she glared at the muted girl.

"Let's break up."