《There is no Epic Loot here, Only Puns.》1: Smashing Start
Advertisement
There was a name.
It was hers but it had been traded away. A second chance she was promised by the small, pleased child. He wasn’t a child, just what some sanity-chipping being decided what a child should look like to converse with her.
Perhaps it derived some perverse pleasure from her squirming consciousness.
“A name for a chance? I’m being very fair,” he promised. She knew it was a trick.
“Of course it is, that’s the ‘name’ of the game,” the child had laughed with delight. She had felt stars shiver at the noise.
“Now… maybe we’ll talk again when you become interesting. Now, I have to go meet the others, maybe you’ll meet them one day?” the thing said casually.
Then she twisted, breaking into a thousand shards that shattered into countless motes that sundered into the basic existence of the universe.
Then she was slapped together with little care and left in the smallest...darkest….room.
She turned and stared up the single tunnel that was quickly digging itself until it stopped and sunlight pierced her.
She turned, trying to move, slightly moving forward with no real sensation.
Then with a moment of shock, she looked down.
There was nothing there. Empty air where a body and legs should have been.
She turned.
A pulsing orange orb about the size of an orange sat encrusted in a single stalagmite. The sunlight hitting the orb made the room glow with light.
She moved closer and peered into the orb.
The light showed a tiny shadow in the amber like glass.
It was a perfectly round object that pulsed with a tiny light. On that orb, the fainting symbol could be seen.
4
She shuddered.
Four?
This thing was… her?
She was just a number to that thing. Not the first… definitely not the last.
Well… at least she wasn’t a tree or a frog!
Hopeless optimism was better than screaming fear was what she told herself.
The house may be on fire but at least she was warm!
Advertisement
Ugh… she was going to die here as some orb thing.
Without a name? No, she needed a name, something to defined herself and used to hold herself together with.
She pulled something that seemed to float by as she just stared at the orb.
Delta.
It was kinda four-ish. It was better than Orby or screaming-wailing-ghost-girl. Definitely better than just ‘victim number four’.
So she, Delta, go to work on the next problem she had to tackle.
Mostly, why did the creepy-demon-child thing think she was going to be interesting as… an orb?
Delta looked about and saw the walls were hard packed dirt, loose stones and not a lot else.
Charming, she was underground, a ghost, and bound to an orb. Delta tried to march right up the tunnel but with a small pause saw a completely white wall where the sun was a moment ago.
She took ten steps back and the vision of some dense grass hills appeared.
Delta took a step forward, the outside world vanished.
One step back and it reappeared.
Delta inhaled and then swallowed a slight scream as she promptly turned around and floated back to the orb.
So, she couldn’t even leave.
She had to stay underground, stuck in some void state to hang about with some ominous globe of eerily light.
She was either a vampire, ghost, or a goth in the making. Delta hoped for a goth, she could really use some anger right now to keep her from going insane.
“Well… it’s just me… and me?” Delta asked aloud and the orb pulsed again but then went quiet.
“Hm… I can’t leave, this is the only room and you’re centre figure. Logic dictates you’re the key to my problems, logic also dictates I should have legs but let’s ignore that little factoid,” Delta spoke to the orb with a serious tone to her words.
“I can’t move you, I can’t bash my head on you, you’re not exactly stimulating this conversation. I must admit, I’m kinda lost on what the frick I’m supposed to do with you!” Delta yelled.
Advertisement
The Orb remained smug in its silence.
“Fine, you know what, orb-me, you’re a jackass! A mongrel, a low-life, a charlatan! A hoax, a poser, a bad move knock-off prop!” Delta hissed.
The orb pulsed, maybe in anger but Delta pushed it, needing any form of contact.
“You, good me, are the worst orb I have ever heard of,” Delta sniffed.
The Orb was glowing fully now.
“Your father was a cow and your mother a goblin with warts and no tee-” Delta was cut off as the orb let loose one final pulse and as if sighing with relief, the glow fled the orb and swirled around the room.
The comet of orange dust and light encircled one corner and took shape with before Delta.
It was small, haunched, and green.
“Oh...no,” Delta whispered as a goblin sniffed the air before spotting the Orb in its odd stone pedestal.
“Job?” it grunted.
Delta could only crawl away, not making any noise, mind reverting to some tiny mouse state.
She had nobody but that thought only added to her panic instead of easing it. What if she couldn’t feel anything anymore?!
Delta heaved as the goblin blinked.
“Rooms?” it offered. Delta just stared at where her hands should be.
How would she hold sandwiches? How would she type on the internet?
Wait… what if there was no internet?
Delta howled and the goblin ran off, shrieking as the Orb crackling with energy.
“ME GUARD DOOR!” it screamed with fear.
Delta panted, feeling quite tired… she should… just… rest for a while.
The Orb seemed to agree and went dormant.
Delta felt her head hit the floor and felt a twinge of pain.
Good… that was still a thing.
---
Goblin, until further notice, sighed with relief as the everlasting master of his new abode seemed to rest. He had been rather silly, suggesting he knew what the core, all hail its greatness, should do next.
Such arrogance on his part. Goblin watched the tunnel, not expecting any trouble. Surely, the great one would have traps ready. They must be so good, he couldn’t spot any sign of them!
Such a powerful master, so wise, so cunning.
Goblin grinned and felt excited that he was one of the first, if he did well, perhaps he could receive a boss promotion...oh how much he desired such a lofty goal.
“Me good boss,” Goblin said with pride.
That was when the entrance was breached by two more goblins. Runts, even a dungeon Goblin like himself could see it.
They squawked and begged for protection.
Goblin bared his teeth, not wanting such riff-raff near his grandmaster and holy object. The goblins pleaded harder and voices came not far off.
Deep ones, angry ones, eager ones.
Goblin frowned. As wonderful as the great core was… being so fresh, it was not prepared for anything more than beasts…
At least that’s what the walls whispered to Goblin. His tie to the dungeon saying that Delta… the great one was not ready for this.
Snarling, he grabbed both goblins and threw them down the tunnel.
If they hurried, they could make a bargain. A deal so soon was… well, he didn’t know. Deals with a dungeon core were handled with care, poise, elegance, intelligence, and with great thought.
---
Delta opened one bleary eye at the begging goblins making weird yowling noises.
She knew… somehow, that they wanted something.
“Sure… whatever… let me sleep,” she mumbled and curled up to go back to slumber.
She did not see the glow that filled the two tiny goblins.
Nor did she see them grow and rip out of their old furs as muscles bulged and fangs grew.
Delta dreamed and smiled as the great cake god blessed her with deserts.
She drooled as bloodshed filled her dungeon that very same day she was created.
It was a record for this world. Not that Delta would ever know.
----
Advertisement
- In Serial577 Chapters
Guild Wars
Draco had risen to the top of the world through his exploits in the legendary FIVR game, Boundless.
8 12750 - In Serial188 Chapters
Auntie toasts the VRMMORPG
~~ On Hiatus ~~ After Flora Fluss burns down the kitchen, her son insists she is too old to live alone. She's got two choices. Either move into a retirement home or spend the rest of her life within a virtual reality game governed by society's most advanced artificial intelligence. When you've worked a lifetime as an engineer for home appliances, naturally, you go with the option that has more toasters. Soon, Flora finds out that the virtual world is more familiar than she thought. Though, it takes her a while to get used to the idea that tanks don't hold water or oil but the aggro of mobs. Auntie toasts the VRMMORPG contains cute crafting, complicated game-mechanics plus how to exploit them, unconventional training methods, and a lot of toasters. New chapters: Mondays and Thursdays. For additional information, companion vids and pictures, please check out my Patreon posts with the tag #attv. Companion videos on YouTube are in the playlist Auntie toasts the VRMMORPG You want to get notified on Twitter or Facebook when I upload a new chapter? No problemo! Discord: https://discord.gg/hX8gWPE
8 130 - In Serial42 Chapters
Shadowrun: Blake Island School of Magic
It's a high tech, low life. It's the Seattle Metroplex in 2074. It rises like a steel and concrete cancer out of the earth. Poverty is rampant, corruption is everywhere, crime is out of control, corporations basically control everything, the old United States is fractured, magic has come back and now it turns out that humanity has been joined by elves, dwarves, orks and trolls. The old world ended but the rent is still due. Life goes on. You'd be surprised what people can adapt to, especially if they don't have a choice. One of the places where life goes on is just west of Seattle. Surrounded by the waters of the Puget Sound is an island. On that island is the Blake Island School of Magic. A decade ago it was known for producing some of the most talented awakened in the world. That reputation was hijacked by the wealthy corporate elite who now park their teenage children there. And since it's a boarding school, their parents mostly forget about them. Three young people, who are certainly not wealthy or elite, are chosen this year to attend this school of magic in hopes of revitalizing their reputation for talent. One from the ash drifts of the Puyallup Barrens, one from the most densely populated slum hive in the world and one from prison. This is their story. -- This story is set in the Shadowrun universe. If you're not familiar with Shadowrun, it mostly tells the stories of deniable mercenaries called shadowrunners in a cyberpunk dystopia. Instead of telling another story solely about shadowrunners, this story will tell the tale of young people navigating a world that is indifferent to them at best and actively hostile at worst. Shadowrunners will be in the story and we'll see them operate, but they won't be its main focus. This story originally began in 2017 as a passion project and continues to this day on the Somethingawful.com forums. The unedited version is over a million words strong. There are currently seven books in this series and I am currently in the process of editing them. If you read this story then you won't lack for content. -- The Topps Company, Inc. has sole ownership of the names, logo, artwork, marks, photographs, sounds, audio, video and/or any proprietary material used in connection with the game Shadowrun. The Topps Company, Inc. has granted permission to the Blake Island on Royal Road to use such names, logos, artwork, marks and/or any proprietary materials for promotional and informational purposes on its website but does not endorse, and is not affiliated with Blake Island on Royal Road in any official capacity whatsoever.
8 164 - In Serial14 Chapters
The Reaper: Consumer of Souls
In a world where the strong rule, and the weak try to become strong. A 12 year old boy learns about the power that he holds. He tries to learn how yo use his power and become stronger to survive. However, life isn't always all pretty and peaceful, there is always danger. Follow the young boy as he struggles to survive with his companions and become strong enough to protect himself and the ones he loves.
8 138 - In Serial18 Chapters
Nathan's Path
Nathan is a not a grand cultivator. He isnt even a cultivator. He works at a gas station and struggles to jog for more than a few minutes due to years of poor diet, sedintary living, and asthma that prevented him from practicing most techniques. And yet when he finds himself struggling to pay his bills he finally finds a technique that allows him to train his lungs. With his new found health he makes a promise to himself. 'I'm going to get in shape and prove im not a worthless son!". Will he achieve his ultimate desire and get a rockin body with washboard abs or will the street gangs and corporate greed suck the life out of him? First time writer, just looking for a hobby. Feedback welcome!
8 156 - In Serial19 Chapters
3 Ninja Adventures (Part 1)
Changed her model and names 💙1st book(Used to be Max and Ellen Update on names: I decided to change it officially to Zoey and Blaze for nickname!) What happens when a girl ninja comes along? Will she join the others or be on her own? Is she related or not related??? Will there be drama or none???(Also did a lot of fixes ❤️)Julia Butters (model) Rated #2 for 3 ninjas!
8 147

