“Mwar!”

With both paws grabbing my forearm, Aurie pulls my scritching hand away from Yipi and towards himself, jealous of the attention given to the bird. Laying on his back, my big golden floof grumbles in displeasure, unhappy at the lack of tender loving care. Giving his belly a rub, I return to scratching Yipi’s head as the sweet bird cranes her neck left and right, unable to decide which side she wants scratched first.

I never liked birds much, but after months of stand-offish behaviour from Roc’s flock, they’re starting to grow on me. They’re not affectionate like Aurie or Mafu, which makes it more rewarding when I win their trust. Unwilling to snuggle even with other members of the flock, I was at a loss on how to display my affection until I realized they, like many other animals, love scritches. In particular, my birds like having their necks and heads scratched because those are the only places they can’t preen. They’re so so standoffish they won’t even allow their mates to help preen them, so after I showed I was willing to not only help them, but also able to endure their angry pecks, my fingers went from tasty-looking treats to tools of delight . Although they don’t have fur, the gentle scratching helps break up the waxy build-up around molting feathers, an effort which is visibly appreciated by my flock of laughing birds.

Clever though they might be, they’re still birds and the moment Yipi is tired of my attentions, she makes her feelings known with a squawk-and-nip before flapping away, whereupon the next bird in line, her mate Kai Yay, takes up the vacated perch which is my knee. They have a strict hierarchy in the flock, starting with Roc who, after receiving his scritches first as befitting of his status, oversees the entire process from my shoulder like a disgruntled supervisor just waiting for me to fuck up. Blowing a puff of air at the fattest of birds, I laugh as Roc puffs up in comical self-defence before hopping down to make himself comfortable on Aurie’s belly. My sweet cat freezes in place, mewling in quiet despair as the feathered fiend nestles into his fur, helpless before the domineering overlord of our cozy little yurt.

It amuses me seeing a quarter-ton cat freeze in terror at the sight of two-kilogram bird, but I gotta say, it makes me a little sad for Aurie. He’s a sweet, obedient kitten who’s grown more confident from our obstacle course runs, but he’s so submissive it’s worrying. Jimjam and Sarankho have matured splendidly, often following Lin or Li Song into the forests to hunt their own meals but Aurie has yet to make his first kill. I need to teach him how to fend for himself or at least ease the strain on my food bills. Feeding him till I’m old and grey won’t break the bank but I want my kittens to learn self-sufficiency. Who knows if their hormones will kick in and they strike out on their own? I hope the day never comes, but if it does, they’ll need to know how to look after themselves. I don’t want them to starve to death or get shot approaching scared villagers in search of handouts.

My day is put on pause until I finish grooming all twenty birds one at a time, but thankfully their tolerance for physical affection is low, each one taking only a minute or two to satisfy. Since Sarnai asked me not to visit too early in the morning, I made plans to check in around lunch, leaving me the entire morning to myself, a rare treat. With Aurie’s survival training in mind, I head out to hunt the most harmless of creatures, the bicorn rabbit. Sporting twin, blunted nubs and a propensity to ignore all danger in the presence of food, their only survival mechanism is the ability to breed faster than their predators can hunt them down, making them a stable part of many diets. With winter still yet to fade, most will still be sleeping in their burrows so I’m hoping Aurie can rack up an easy kill or two and build his confidence. Bicorn rabbits pack a mean kick and headbutt, but my big floof weighs twenty times more than even the largest of rabbits, plus they’ll be weak and feeble from hibernating all winter so it’ll probably be an even fight.

I wish I were joking. Aurie is not exactly the killing machine I’d envisioned him to be, which is fine because I have an ulterior motive for hunting rabbits this early in the season.

With Li Song babysitting my other kittens and bears, I head towards the mountain path with Mafu and Aurie. Having recently survived a kidnapping/assassination attempt, I had the foresight to arrange a guard detail for my day trip, meeting Ulfsaar and nine members of his squad at the City outskirts, all kitted up and ready to go. The massive half-bear is easily the most imposing member of my retinue though his skills are sorely lacking compared to the other half-bear I asked along. Clapping me on the shoulder, Vichear treats me to an aggressively toothy grin, seeming a little put off this morning. “Rain boyo,” he says, gripping both my shoulders as he looms over me. “We share food and drink, laughter and camaraderie, so we are friends, are we not?”

“Of course we're friends.” Even if we weren’t, Vichear is not a man to offend lightly. Though still lacking compared to true experts, he’s the strongest person I call friend, only a little weaker than Gerel in my opinion. Dumb bald bastard got beat down by Yo Ling twice and still has the gall to act all high and mighty. I can't stand him.

“And friends help one another, do they not? I mean, you only needed to ask and I’ve arrived at this ungodly hour, ready to lay down my life in defence of your own so you can go out on a pleasure hunt. Not two days after an attempt on your life, I might add.”

“Yes and I’m really grateful.” I’m sensing a lot of underlying criticism, but what am I supposed to do? Those people tried to kill me inside the most fortified City of the North, so it’s not like staying home is gonna keep me safe. Besides, Baledagh handled it without injury, so whoever is after me can’t have too much clout, right? Baatar even said it’d be fine when i mentioned it last night, so there shouldn’t be any problems...

Silence hangs in the air as I deliberate cancelling the hunting trip, but after seeing Vichear strain to hold his smile, I realize he’s waiting for me to say something. His twitching cheek lend an air of menace to his grinning features and it takes a moment to figure out what he wants. “I-is there anything I can do to repay you?”

His feigned smile turns into a real one with a hint of guilt, chuckling ruefully beneath his breath. “Nonsense boyo, we’re friends and this is what friends do. There’ll be no more talk of material reward, you hear?” Leaving me no time to retort I never mentioned a reward, he shakes his head and continues. “Truth be told, it won’t be long before you leave old Vichy at the wayside and it’ll be me asking you for help. Not only are you growing stronger by the day, even your subordinates are outpacing me. I was talking with Ulfsaar there and mentioned how I didn’t see his pretty wife around. Now I ain’t ever seen them apart for more than a minute, two peas in a pod is what they are, so my curiosity was piqued. It took some pressing, but it turns out, his wife can’t be here on account of how she’s forming her Natal Palace. Now ain’t that a kick? Fifty two years without forming her Natal Palace and long past the optimal age, but six months after joining your retinue, she’s now on the cusp of entering the ranks of the Empire’s experts.”

“Oh? That’s great news!” Turning to Ulfsaar, I offer my congratulations but the former bandit-chieftain winces in response. He’s an odd one, a mild-mannered, devout believer in the Mother until he works himself into a rage and pulps someone with his axe. A classic bearserker if you will, his quiet, laid-back attitude is incredibly misleading, as are his stern, youthful features.

Hmm... If his wife is in her fifties, how old is he? I’ve been bossing him around like everyone else, but if he’s a grandfather I’m gonna feel terrible for not respecting my elders. I should probably know things like this, but I’m reluctant to make friends with my retinue. For one, I’m their boss and I have enough trouble controlling them as is. Secondly, and this is my darker, pragmatic side speaking, but if they die, and as warriors it’s likely to happen sooner rather than later, I’d like it to hurt as little as possible.

My cold self-reflection is interrupted as Vichear figuratively and literally pulls me back into the conversation. “Now, refresh my memory boyo. How many experts do you have in your retinue now?”

“Five.” Aside from Dastan, Ulfsaar, and Neera, there’s Sahb, the former second of Dastan’s retinue, and Wang Bao who have also formed their Natal Palaces. Though it doesn’t give an immediate increase in strength, in a year or three these five experts will be formidable warriors in their own rights, easily reaching Major level if not higher.

“Five experts,” Vichear repeats, a little too quickly to have not known. I’ve only publicly revealed Dastan’s status, since the others all share dubious pasts, but I haven’t really been keeping it secret. “From zero experts to five in a short, half-year. Incredible. Me and my warriors have been with the Sentinels for almost two years now, soldiers one and all, and not a single one of us have formed our Natal Palace, myself included.”

Vichy made Major without a Natal Palace? That’s impressive considering his humble background, which means his skills are the real deal. He’d probably be ranked even higher if he wasn’t a half-beast, what with all the discrimination and what not.

Ohhhh, I get it. He’s jealous. Poor Vichy wants a Natal Palace of his own and is looking for advice. That’s why he’s being so cagey and discreet, he doesn’t want to lose face by asking a kid for help. I wish I could but I don’t know the first thing about forming a Natal Palace, since it just sorta happened on its own. Trying to make him feel better, I offer my view of the matter. “I figure it’s because most of my retinue is self-taught, their strength honed in life and death skirmishes. Their foundations were lacking, so given a little hard work and effort, they’re finally reaching their full potential.” Not to mention the lack of Spectres. The strength they offer comes at a cost, as they want their subjects strong enough to survive but weak enough to need more help, giving the Tainted incentive to step over the line into full Defiled or worse. Now that they’ve been cleansed, Ulfsaar and the rest are truly learning how to wield their powers, which is probably why so many of them are becoming experts.

Sighing, Vichear releases my shoulders and slumps down, a defeated look pasted across his face. Switching to Sending, he says, “Look boyo, be straight with me. If it’s a secret of the People, then I’ll speak no more on the subject. The Lieutenant General has done right by me and my men so far and we’ve no reason to ask for more, but it’s disheartening to think we’re less trustworthy than a group of bandits. No offence.”

Puzzled, I keep my hands to myself and answer out loud. “None taken, but honestly, there’s no big secret. Grand-Mentor isn’t neglecting you, she also asked about my retinue’s recent successes but I gave her the same answer I gave you. The only thing they all had in common was Dastan’s advice. Tell you what, why don’t you ask him to help y- your soldiers out?” Remembering how tight-lipped Dastan had been with Akanai, I add, “Tell him I sent you, he’s kinda awkward and likes to be low-key, denies he had anything to do with recent success, but who knows.”

“Aye, perhaps I will boyo, perhaps I will.” The glint in his eye tells me he wants to run off and interrogate Dastan immediately, but I still need him around to watch my back. With Vichear lost in his thoughts, I lead my retinue up the mountain and almost immediately regret my choice of defenders. Burly and intimidating as they are, Ulfsaar’s squad are nowhere near as light-footed and silent as Vichear, making enough noise to scare off a herd of elephants much less a bunny rabbit. Two hours and nine empty warrens later, we have yet to see anything aside from the trail of a bicorn bunny, the idiot creatures still smart enough to notice our arrival minutes in advance.

Taking a short break, I watch my pets romp around in the snow as Mafu repeatedly tackles Aurie into the ground, both playing and teaching my sweet wildcat but to no avail. Hopping in and out of ‘combat’, Mafu piles into Aurie and nibbles at his throat, but my silly floof lays there and takes it instead of play-fighting back, his paws tucked in helpless submission only to spring his feet the second Mafu darts away, ready for another go.

God, I hope it’s easier to teach bears to hunt.

I must have mumbled my thoughts out loud because Ulfsaar replies, “Bears have no need to learn to hunt. The Mother gave them no gifts of speed or cunning, only the size and strength to defend themselves. As She foresaw, it was enough. Bears are foragers and scavengers by nature, feeding primarily on berries and roots. When possible, it will feed on carrion by stealing prey brought down by wolves, wildcats, or other predators. The wolf pack is many, but the bear is a formidable foe, giving the pack no choice but to turn and leave. The wildcat carries its prey to the treetops, but such heights are no barrier to the bear, as able a climber as any.”

Am I feeding my bears too much meat? They love their fruit and veggies but I figured bears would need lots of meat to grow big and strong...

No, I'm missing his point. Ulfsaar’s deep voice lends itself well to narration, possessing a calm, soothing timbre. Hard to imagine this same voice raving of blood and destruction, but it’s who he is, Ulfsaar the Voracious, feared throughout Sanshu as a force to be reckoned with. When I first found out about his dual-personality, I thought he might be in similar situation as Baledagh and I, but no, he just has crazy mood-swings. Neera explained it as Ulfsaar’s survival instinct, calm and placid until something threatens their safety, whereupon he goes into full overdrive until the threat is dead or gone. Eyeing his adorable black-bear ears, I ask, “How do you know so much about bears?”

“I studied them for many years while seeking my purpose. The Mother has a plan for all her children, but I have yet to discover mine.”

The way Ulfsaar says it makes me think of a mountain ascetic, following his spirit animal to divine the truth of the world. “So why turn to banditry?”

Tilting his head in question, he replies, “As I said, I sought answers. Other creatures strive for prey while the bear simply takes what is naturally his. Thus, I set out to do the same, believing such was my purpose in life. I cannot survive on berries and roots, so I must take more.”

“... so, you became a bandit because bears are nature’s bandits?”

“Bandit is too loose a term for my tastes, but my gift lies not with words.” Frowning, Ulfsaar takes his time before speaking again. “A bandit steals yes, but a bandit also kills, rapes, and plunders. I only took what was needed to sustain myself and nothing more. Coin, goods, slaves, I took none of these things nor did any of my comrades, only food and drink. If I encountered no resistance, then there were no casualties, but if my foe sought to confront me, then I would teach them regret.”

Though said without anger or passion, his words are chilling indeed. Still, his nickname makes more sense now, since all he ever stole was food. The Voracious. Stupid bandit names, making me worry he might be a cannibal. “Is that still how you want to live your life? Taking what you need to survive and nothing more?”

“No.” His answer is immediate, studying me intently as he speaks. “I believe the Mother sent you to warn me of my folly. A bear takes what it needs, but I am no bear.” Turning back towards the City, he smiles, seemingly at utter peace. “I am a human and I give thanks for Her reminder.”

After hearing about Pran and Saluk’s childhood, I’m hesitant to ask about Ulfsaar’s, but I know it couldn’t have been easy. As for his whole ‘hurr durr I’m a bear’ shtick, there are worse bandits in my retinue, though at a bare minimum, none of them have tortured or raped. Cold-blooded murder isn’t much better, but my standards are shockingly low, even considering the world we live in.

A lot can be blamed on the Spectres, but not everything. Humanity is plenty dark all by itself.

It's a shame the Spectres haven’t made a reappearance, but it seems like Sanshu was a massive outlier. Yo Ling probably left people like Ulfsaar and Laughing Dragon alone because he knew they would spread the Taint at no risk to himself. If the Defiled don’t come back in the spring, I might have to go actively hunting for Tainted. I want that sweet Heavenly Energy but Blobby's lack of activity is also worrying. I’m thinking he needs that special Spectral juice to get going in the mornings, but the City has been picked clean.

I know Taduk wants to keep things quiet but I spent all my precious Heavenly Energy to save Nian Zu and I didn’t even get a ‘thank you’. I assume the old man paid Taduk but I can’t ask my Teacher for payment, that’s downright disrespectful. He’d pay me if it ever crossed his mind to but Taduk’s kind of an airhead regarding social niceties. Oh well. Maybe Shen Huo will have more Tainted, or maybe I can go sightseeing to random villages. Lin wanted to visit Ping Yao which is south of Sanshu, so maybe I can take a little pleasure trip with the wifey.

It’s definitely because I love Lin and want to make her happy. Having her guards close by while I travel the province is just a bonus.

Life’s not too bad here once people stop trying to kill you. Well, I assume it will be. Like Roc’s flock, this world has grown on me. My loving family is back and bigger than ever, my retinue is growing stronger with each passing day, and by feeding what feels like the entire City’s population for months on end, I made at least one person see the value of charitable acts with no strings attached.

Not too shabby.

“Okay.” Calling Aurie and Mafu back, I brush the snow off my kitten’s coat and turn to Vichear. “Let’s circle around and head home on a different route. If we come across a warren then we’ll check it, but nothing too far out-of-the-way.”

Gazing at the surroundings with eyes narrowed in thought, Vichear doesn’t respond until I wave a hand in front of him. Blinking in surprise, it takes a moment for his brain to catch up and he answers, “Sounds good boyo, but fair warning, there’s something off around us. Just a gut feeling I can’t place, but better safe than sorry.”

“Trust your instincts,” Ulfsaar interjects, “For the Mother gave them to you for a reason.”

Rolling his eyes, Vichear leaves to scout ahead while the rest of my people amble behind, keeping watch for danger. After checking three more warrens, we finally find an occupied rabbit-hole. Standing guard at the tunnel entrance, a bicorn rabbit puffs up and thumps the frozen ground, sending a puff of fresh snow into the air. As everyone else stands and watches, I urge Aurie to head over and kill the bunny but my sweet floof mistakes my intentions and crawls towards the giant bunny on his belly, gently stretching a paw to boop the bunny’s nose. His actions earn him a meaty headbutt to the face as the rabbit defends its home, startling my poor kitten who leaps high into the air and runs behind me, mewling pitifully at the scary offender as my retinue roars with laughter.

“Oh Aurie,” I say, patting his furry head. “You’re hopeless.”

“The Mother gave us all a purpose,” Ulfsaar says, barely even cracking a smile. “Your wildcat will find his, of this I have no doubt.”

“Thanks.” Staring at the angry bunny, I open my mouth to ask why it hasn’t run away when something clicks in my mind. “Oh, this is perfect!” Moving the rabbit aside as it headbutts my hand repeatedly, I peer into the warren to find at least a dozen furry baby bunnies, huddled together with eyes shut and bodies aquiver. Old enough to have fur but too young to brave the cold, they must have been born just this week, the perfect age to socialize and eventually train.

If all goes well, we’ll have a horde of bunnies to help us find all the rare and precious plants we’ll ever need. I watched Cham bleed to death before my eyes, but if I’d had the right medicine, I could have saved his life. I don’t want to go through that ever again, and lacking the means to grow what we need, I’m banking on these bunnies to solve our problem. While no one has ever managed to succeed in domesticating bicorn bunnies, my changing Aura is super useful for taming animals.

Plus, fluffy bunnies babies squeeeeeee!

Enough. Get it together. There’s work to be done.

Turning to the Momma or Papa bun still whacking away at my hand, I unleash my Aura soothe the ruffled rabbit. “Hey, it’s okay, I’m not gonna hur-”

Hurtling through the air at speeds I didn’t know were possible, the bicorn bunny headbutts me square in the face before returning to stand guard in front of the warren. Stemming my bleeding nose, I ignore the laughs and sympathize with Aurie, as this little asshole really packs a wallop.

No killing. I already have pangs of guilt from killing Aurie’s mom and she was actively trying to eat me. Besides, these baby bunnies aren’t weaned yet, so if this is mommy bunny then I need her alive. Ignore the delicious rabbit steak and think about the fluffy bunny cuddles in your future. Taking a hit or two is well worth it.

And the plants. Because that’s why you’re doing this. For the precious plants.

Chapter Meme

For those who don't get the meme reference