Dazed and out of breath, Yan fell into Rain’s comforting embrace. Quivering from head to toe, she savoured this moment and engraved it into memory, enjoying the soothing sensation of his hand running slowly up her back and down again, the simple movement so soothing and reassuring. Somehow exhausted and invigorated at the same time, she kissed him between laboured gasps and was delighted to discover he still yearned for her touch, despite being too exhausted to continue. Much like his preferred fighting style, Rain’s performance appeared inelegant and unpolished at first, but he was a quick learner and soon uncovered all her weaknesses without need for question or guidance. Coupled with the fabled stamina which won him the title of ‘Undying’, Yan was soon rendered helpless before his charming smile and attentive efforts.

Mother above, he did all this while he was crippled, so what would it be like when he had both his hands and feet?

Her voracious appetite sated, Yan entwined her arms and legs around Rain while running her hands over his naked body, mentally marking all the changes since they last met. So soon after their repeated bouts of frenetic activity, his robust heart had already slowed to a steady beat, pulsing powerfully inside his chiselled chest. With pecs firm as iron and a wiry, sinewy frame, his broad shoulders and narrow waist made him look even leaner than he already was, a powerfully built foundation which could use a little more padding for comfort and aesthetics. Regardless, she loved the feel of him, of his sculpted muscles and washboard abs, his smooth, supple skin and soft, silky hair, those hungry, affectionate lips and his pulsating, throbbing...

Grounding herself with a deep breath, the musky scent of their intermingled bodies delivered her a heady rush and only debilitating fatigue and aching muscles kept her from mounting him once again. Instead, she settled for a contented nuzzle and buried her face in his neck, which earned her a throaty chuckle and a question asked in jest. “Still not enough? Heaven’s save me from this insatiable woman. Mercy Yan, I beg you, the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.”

Giggling at his terrible joke, she kissed the hollow of his neck and faked a sigh. “Well, top marks for effort, I suppose. I expect a better performance from you next time.”

“Ha.” Punctuating the laugh with a slap of her buttocks, Rain embodied pride incarnate as he said, “Don’t play coy. We both know you enjoyed it.”

Unable to resist needling him, she replied, “Never said I didn’t, but there’s always room for improvement.”

“Of course. For starters, I’ve learned we should lay towels out beforehand. Scootch over will you? It’s like I’m lying in a puddle over here.”

Her cheeks set ablaze, Yan was too embarrassed to respond. She’d only noticed it after the fact and had been so mortified she almost panicked and ran away, but Rain only laughed and held her close, explaining it wasn’t what she thought it was, only a natural bodily response and a sign he was doing things right. Shifting over so he needn’t lie in a pool of their bodily fluids, she buried her face deep into his neck, not only to hide her shame but also because her horns would force him to crane his neck at an awkward angle, her minor vengeance for his barbed jab.

She couldn’t even bring herself to lie and say, ‘What next time?’, lest he bring up more embarrassing examples of her hedonistic gratification, or worse, play along and force her to beg next time they...

“It’s not fair,” she growled, pressing her horns just a little harder against him, enjoying the warmth seeping through to her forehead. “You have an overwhelming advantage in both practice and experience, a seasoned veteran matched against a wide-eyed innocent.”

“Innocent? My, how you’ve changed Lady Du Min Yan. Whatever happened to the shameless, salacious, ribald little she-devil Adujan? When you left, I said a prayer for all the handsome young men of Central, for I believed we were introducing a fox to a hen house. Or should it be a duck house?”

Outwitted once again, Yan stopped arguing and fell silent, content to bask in the moment and settle the score when her mind was fully functional once more. It had been her intention to find a young handsome buck or three to romance and seduce, but between her lessons and dealing with Grandpa’s aggravating family members, there was little time left for social pleasures. Even if she had the time, Central wasn’t the same as back home, where no one cared about the horns on her head. She’d lost track of how many times she’d been mistaken for a slave or how many arrogant young idiots she’d been forced to beat up, though she took a small measure of satisfaction at the absurd prices they offered for a single night in her company.

At least Yan knew if her Martial skills failed her, she could always switch to lucrative career as a courtesan.

Feeling her eyes growing heavy, Yan cautioned herself to stay awake. As much as she wanted to fall asleep in Rain’s embrace and resume their lovemaking in the morning, she couldn’t stay the night for propriety’s sake, not to mention how she wasn’t ready to face Lin, Mila, or worst of all, Alsantset in the morning. To keep her mind active, she returned to cataloguing the changes in her lover, a difficult prospect with her face pressed against his skin, but his body wasn’t the only thing which had changed in her absence, but his personality too. Though too preoccupied with their reunion to make note of it earlier, the differences were stark and obvious now that she had time to think. He was more confident now, standing taller and retorting faster, a proud, self-assured warrior instead of the timid, unsure young boy she’d left behind, and she wanted him all the more for it.

Granted, she wasn’t pleased with all the changes. Rain was colder now, rougher and more callous in demeanour as evidenced by his exchange with Jin Tok earlier tonight. Everyone present, Yan included, thought Rain meant to slaughter the snivelling little idiot out of hand, playing his part perfectly as a cold and merciless individual to whom life meant little. Were it anyone else, Yan would not think twice about his newfangled ruthlessness, especially considering his sudden rise in power, but this was Rain they were talking about, a man who rescued wildcats and cripples for Mother’s sake. Thankfully, upon seeing the horde of bunnies sleeping in and around his yurt, Yan knew Rain was still the same sweet, affectionate person she’d fallen in love with, only he’d gotten better at hiding what some would call his deficiencies.

Never her though. Those frail insecurities were what she admired most about him, because despite all his fears and worries, he never surrendered and always pressed on. Without fear, there could be no courage, so if one were to measure courage by the extent of one’s fears, then Rain was easily the most courageous man in the world.

Deciding he’d been punished enough, Yan freed Rain from the threat of her horns to gaze upon his handsome face. Even at his most relaxed, he still grit his teeth and she imagined he would grind them in his sleep, but no one could be perfect. His beautiful amber eyes were open but unseeing, staring at the ceiling while lost in thought, his brow furrowed with concern as he considered the future. Another thing which hadn’t changed, his penchant for worrying, and the familiar sight brought back memories of simpler times, when she was merely an orphan and he a foundling, both struggling to find their place in this chaotic and punishing world. They’d come so far since those simple days, suffered through trials and tribulations to emerge as Lady Du Min Yan of the Hwarang and Imperial Consort Falling Rain, but their feelings for one another had survived the test of time and separation, and now they were together once again.

Imperial Consort or not, Rain belonged to her.

Nipping him on the cheek, Yan laughed as he jerked in surprise like a startled little lamb. Kissing him to make up for the love bite, she murmured, “What’s on your mind, lover?”

“Nothing.”

His reply came too quickly, but she couldn’t call him out on it since he turned to kiss her. Thoroughly enjoying his efforts to distract her, Yan waited until he broke the kiss and whispered, “Liar. Something’s obviously bothering you. I said it once and I’ll say it again. If you don’t want to talk about it, then say so, but if you keep being evasive, then I will never let it go.”

Still hesitant, Rain looked away and said, “I don’t want to ruin the moment.”

Turning his head back to face her, she kissed him and replied, “You couldn’t even if you tried.”

“Is that a challenge?” For a second, Rain’s eyes lit up in mischievous delight as he forgot about all his woes and worries, but he soon returned to his thoughtful brooding. “Sorry I’m so distracted. I want to tell you everything but I’m having trouble framing my thoughts into a coherent narrative. There’s still so much to cover, so many more secrets to explain, and I don’t know where to start or how to say it.”

Oh? He still had more secrets? And from his hesitation, it seemed like he considered them worse than almost being Defiled? What could it be? While considering the possibilities, Yan touched upon an old fantasy of hers, a guilty pleasure she only thought about when alone at night, one involving Rain, Fung, and Big Huu in a most provocative scenario. Could it be true? While she was gone, did their friendship cross over into forbidden territory? Perhaps that’s why no one could tell her why Big Huu was behaving so coldly and refused to show his face at the banquet. Was he angered and ashamed by the memory of their shared debauchery? How did it even happen? Knowing their personalities, Fung undoubtedly instigated things with Rain, who was curious and played along, but then their twosome soon became boring and dull for men of their appetites. She could imagine it now, where during one of their drunken revelries, Rain and Fung take advantage of Big Huu’s inebriated state and...

Well, well, well... Perhaps Yan would have her harem after all...

“You know, the Bekhai tried to exile me.” Indifferent and impassive, this earth-shattering news was delivered in unflinching deadpan and pulled Yan out of her sordid fantasies. With a careless shrug, Rain continued, “They didn’t because my family threatened to leave with me, but the problem is, I think the Bekhai were right. They should have exiled me regardless, or worse.”

The Bekhai. Not the People, but the Bekhai. The same word, pronounced the same way, but Yan could hear it in his tone. Rain no longer considered himself one of the People, and it pained him more than the loss of any limb ever could, because he blamed himself for the divide, believed he was too dangerous to be around and worried his actions would bring Imperial Justice crashing down on those he loved.

In a strange way, she was glad to see his casual arrogance hadn’t changed.

“Rain,” Yan said, keeping her voice quiet and steady. “If you ever proved yourself a danger to the People, I would kill you with my own hands and follow you soon after.” After letting her words sink in, she continued, “Notice how you’re still breathing? Trust in my judgment, my pretty, cynical, worrisome man.”

“You say this because you don’t know the whole story. No one does.” Staring at the stump of his right arm, he sighed and added, “And now the person who knew the most is dead and gone.”

Knowing Rain needed time to gather his thoughts, Yan silently watched him flex fingers which were no longer there, the muscles in his forearm shifting with almost hypnotic fluidity. Combined with the adorable rabbit snores and sleepy quin squeaks, she almost fell asleep despite the severity of the situation, and only his constant false starts and tired sighs kept her awake. After an eternity, Rain Sent, “Be warned, it’s a long story. Have you heard of the Penitent Brotherhood? Well...” In his customary rambling fashion, Rain told her all about the Monk and what happened earlier tonight, veering off in the middle to explain about the droplet of Heavenly Water he found in Sanshu, then even further back to talk about how he rejected his first Awakening, which occurred merely days after her own, because he didn’t like what it showed him. Her mind reeling from revelation after revelation, Yan soon had trouble fitting the pieces together, though not for lack of trying. “... the Monk died trying to bring my would-be murderer to justice, which coupled with my inability to save him makes me responsible for his death.”

“Hang on.” Closing her eyes, Yan sifted through memory wondering if she’d fallen asleep and missed something. No, Rain’s explanation was seamless and without interruption, but his leaps of logic were mind boggling and bizarre, to say the least. “You said you only met the Monk a week ago?”

Evidently too tired to keep Sending, Rain closed his eyes and nodded. “Yea, give or take.”

“And you trusted him enough to tell him all... this?” Monk or no, Rain telling a stranger he had almost turned Defiled was insane, even for him, not to mention being in possession of a drop of Heavenly Water named ‘Blobby’.

“It’s not the same. I felt I could talk to him because he was a stranger. I didn’t care about his opinion, so I wasn’t afraid of him judging me.” It made sense in a twisted way, but Rain wasn’t finished. “Besides, the Monk figured out most of it on his own, or at least he guessed it, and I figured if he wanted to hurt or kill me, there are much easier ways to go about it, especially considering he was a Divinity, whatever that means.”

“It means strong enough to turn you and everything around you into meat paste with a flick of his finger.” Which meant Rain had a point about trusting the Monk, except at the time, he had yet to learn the Monk was a Divinity. Her poor, sweet, trusting Rain, so stupid and naive. Imperial Consort or not, he would need more help than Yan could provide to survive the world of cut-throat politics he’d been thrust into. “Do you know how conceited you sound? Taking responsibility for the death of a Divinity? The Monk died because the Defiled killed him. A room full of Divinities couldn’t save the Monk either, so why blame yourself?”

“Because he was there to protect me, and because I could have saved him if -”

“If what? If you weren’t you? If you’d made a different choice years ago? If you’d known in advance what you know now? What if Taduk were a thousand times better at Healing? What if the Azure Ascendant had gone with the Monk instead of doing Heavens knows what around Nan Ping? What if the Monk hadn’t forced the Immortal’s hand? What use is there in playing this game?” Blowing out a sigh, Yan shook her head and continued, “What I don’t understand is how you could trust the Monk after only knowing him for a week, but couldn’t talk to Mila or Lin, Alsantset or Charok, any one in your family or circle of friends?”

Yan wasn’t angry at him, but herself for leaving and at everyone else for not seeing how much he was suffering. So full of pain and self-condemnation, the look in his eyes made her heart ache with misery as he answered, “Because I’m afraid. I’m afraid of looking into your eyes, or Mila’s, or Lin’s, and seeing horror and disgust. I’m afraid of giving my family more reasons to regret saving me, of proving them wrong for standing by me. I’m afraid of being abandoned by my family and friends, left alone to face this world without their love and support, the only reasons I’ve made it as far as I have...”

“It’ll never happen. We love you too much.”

“You say it and I want to believe it, but my fear has long since left the realm of rationality.” Smiling weakly as he hugged her close, he added, “I’m trying my best to work through it. This was progress, but believe it or not, there’s still a lot to cover. Take a break and pick up where we left off in the morning?”

Ignoring his vulgar leer which filled her with burning desire, Yan kissed him and said, “I want to, but I can’t stay the night. I haven’t told Grandpa about us and I want him to hear it from me.” Grabbing him by the chin, she forced him to look her in the eyes and said, “Don’t you dare think even for a second I’m leaving because you’ve scared me off. Du Min Yan is not so easily dissuaded. You are mine and I love you, faults and all. Understand?”

“...Understood. I love you too. And I’ll talk to Mom and Dad about marrying you soon as I can.”

How adorable, he was calling them Mom and Dad now. “You better. Now close your eyes.” Still not ready to leave his embrace, Yan rested her chin on his chest and added, “I’ll stay until you’re asleep.”

“Then I won’t sleep.” Contrary to his declaration, Rain’s eyes were barely still open, ready to nod off at a moment’s notice. “Don’t want you to go.”

“Nor do I want to leave, my sweet Rain.”

“Gotta say, I’m loving how possessive you are. Are you gonna start a fight with Mila? A sexy fight, with hair pulling and shirt ripping...” And with that, Rain fell asleep before Yan could inform him she knew better than to start a fight with Mila, but if he wanted to see her slap one of his wives around, then Yan would happily oblige if pitted against his new concubine, the oh-so-perfect Zheng Luo.

Hmph. Mila and Lin were one thing, but for this complete stranger to swoop in and try to steal Yan’s lover?

Unforgivable. The big-breasted hussy would have to learn her place, and Yan looked forward to teaching her.

Chapter Meme