《Outside Heaven's Mandate》Chapter 2 - Xander Davis (2)
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For the third time in the same day, Xander was surprised. But this time, his surprise eclipsed the previous two times, to the point where the word surprise was no longer enough to quantify his emotions.
Utter and complete shock. Stupefaction so intense that Xander could not move, could not think, could not react. Around him was the boundless vastness of space, a sight only a very few privileged and gifted earthlings had personally borne witness to. Intense blackness like the void itself surrounded him, but that was not what shocked him.
Xander had a feeling he knew what was supposed to be below him. The blue oceans, the green landmasses and the swirling white clouds, the depiction of Earth that even children were familiar with, should have been below him. But that was not the case.
Earth had been obscured, shrouded, by an existence so profound, so vast, that Xander lacked the words to describe them. At first glance, all he saw was a multicolored cloud that covered an endless expanse below him. Its beauty… could only be described by the word, otherworldly. Colors flashed through the multicolored cloud endlessly, red, violet, indigo, teal, pink, blue, white, black, were only a fraction of colors that he saw within the cloud. There were other colors, that he had no way to describe. Not because they were colors that mankind had never laid eyes upon, but because they were not entirely colors to begin with. One color he could hear when he glanced upon it, the sound of waves smashing against a rock ringing in his ears. Another color he could smell, it was like the smell of freshly cut grass, making him feel at ease with just one whiff. The more he saw, the more entranced he got, the more entranced he got the higher the intensity of his fascination, and the greater his fascination the more he had an urge to bow at the grand phenomenon that he had the privilege of witnessing, for some inexplicable reason. It was as if, by virtue of being born a human, by virtue of being born on planet Earth, submitting was simply the right thing to do.
‘If you gaze into the abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.’
Xander audibly gasped as his intense gaze finally penetrated a very small gap in the multicolored cloud. He….
He saw.
For the first time in his life, he truly saw.
What did he see?
His own insignificance.
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It was only an instant. Perhaps, half a second, perhaps lesser. One could even say, it was over as soon as it began.
A thousand worlds flashed by his eyes, some smaller than even his own friendly blue planet, while others so vast, that the metric system humanity had designed could no longer contain it.
He felt an intricate connection with those planets, though that feeling was too transient, and broke as soon as it formed. Nevertheless, in that moment, Xander could feel the life force emanating from the larger planets, belonging to species of all different kinds in such intensity, that he could determine that it far surpassed the life on Earth. And one, that was in the majority, fiercely resonated with his own essence. Humans, an almost endless amount of them, reigned throughout the universe.
All the worlds, all the living beings on countless planets, such a grand sight that completely shattered all his previous worldviews….
And yet, he gazed at them all with the indifference of a grown man looking down upon an ant.
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The first thing that came to his mind when he gazed upon the phenomenon was an unknown 'God', the creator of all humans, all plant life, all animal life and the universe, for who else could be so vast, so powerful, so omniscient? But as he pondered upon it further, he came to a realization. This was a being that was equivalent to ‘God’, but it was not God. It was closer to a ‘Law’, a nigh omnipotent and omniscient law that regulated all of creation, all of life, all of mankind, including him. It was emotionless and unbiased, it did not discriminate between beings like humans did among their own kind… it was a being to be respected, for it was the regulator of all the worlds that existed in the past, present or future.
Xander was entranced, fascinated, humbled and extremely respectful. If the being in front of him wanted him to die, he would glad…ly….
A thought rumbled like lightning in his mind, snapping him out of whatever state of entrancement it was struck in, one that had passed through his mind countless times before.
‘What is a man to do, if the world itself wishes to conspire against him?’
'What can a man do?'
The will inside him, the will that was both a source of support, for it had helped him maintain equilibrium, maintain his sanity, and a source of anxiety, for it terrified him, raising questions that he was not sure he wanted the answers to, churned violently.
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Until now, he had felt no hostility from the will, and felt no desire to reject its influence. It was as if... the will originally belonged to him, as if it was an inextricable part of him, that was impossible to sever.
That terrified him even more, for it raised a question that he dare not linger upon. But for now, there was something more important than even that question.
He had found the unseen hand. His benefactor. The one who gave him everything in this lifetime. His tormentor. The one who took everything from him in this lifetime. Hatred. Boundless, irreconcivable hatred, was the only emotion he felt for the multicolored fog in front of him.
His hatred was so intense, that anger, as an emotion, was no longer sufficient to contain it. He did not cry, for crying was a weakness, and he would not expose weakness in front of his foe. He did not curse, for he knew the enemy was indifferent to all of creation. He did not threaten, for the threat of an ant contained no weight.
Coldness. All that was left in his heart was coldness.
The will inside him stopped churning, and for a moment Xander thought it was conforming to the coldness in his own heart.
At that moment, Xander felt that his own hatred was boundless, unsurpassable.
He was wrong.
The will exploded at once, with such intense hatred, that for a moment Xander no longer had control over his own body. Hatred that had withstood the test of time, hatred that spanned decades, centures, entire eras, and even eons! Hatred so vast, that it made Xander's own look like an infant taking his first steps on the path of revenge. Hatred so pure, that it made Xander laugh out loud in pure joy!
Xander Davis had not laughed in a long, long while. But now, he laughed and laughed as if there was no end. He said the question that was hidden in the deepest corners of his mind, out loud-
"Am I really Xander Davis?" he asked the multicolored fog in front of him with a chuckle, seeming endlessly amused by the actions of the will inside him.
"So what if I'm not!?" He yelled out loud a second later, answeriing his own question with glee in his eyes. Even if the will belonged to the devil himself, Xander could accept it. For it hated the being in front of him with far more intensity than he could muster, as much as it ashamed him to admit it.
The multicolored fog slightly churned, as if slightly surprised by Xander's answers, but he wasn't sure if he was imagining it.
"What is a man to do, if the world itself wishes to conspire against him? What can a man do?" Xander coldly gazed at the fog, slowly enunciating each and every world, lest the being in front of him misunderstand.
He only said one word in reply to his own question. One word that the will inside him said in consonance, as if it already knew his reply in advance.
At that moment, time itself seemed to stop.
All the worlds that Xander had seen through the beings' vision, and many, many more under its purview, seemed to rumble in anger at that moment, as if something had disturbed the core of the planet. Thunder clouds gathered and extremely potent red lightning struck throughout the countless worlds randomly, dissipating before they could cause any real harm. Beasts quailed and humans ran away terrified in face of that terrible, terrible power, even though they knew it could not harm them directly.
Some astute ones realized that this was a warning.
Who ... who was qualified enough to deserve such a warning?
Perhaps, it was a good thing they were not qualified enough to recieve an answer.
The multicolored fog trembled violently in response as if it were slighted, slighted by a mere ant! If that were only the case, the reaction would not be so violent, so terrifying. It was slighted by an ant that was.... qualfied.
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"Fight," Xander said, and a voice as ancient as time itself and as wise as the tree of wisdom resonated alongside him, overlapping with his own. The word was said with such intent and determination that it was no longer mere diction.
It was an oath.
An oath made in front of the law of the world.
In its defiance.
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The multicolored fog enveloped Xander the next instant, unable to hold back its fury any longer. Xander, a supposedly normal human turned poltergiest, did not even have the time to react.
Yet, he did not regret those words. Even if he were to die, it would be with a smile on his face.
For he now had an answer.
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