《Outside Heaven's Mandate》Chapter 3- Xander Davis(3)
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One moment, he faced the law of the world with defiance in his heart. The next, he found himself in a sea of multi-colored fog, that, to his senses stretched out endlessly, limitlessly. He was like a grain of sand in the vast desert, but somehow, still infinitesimally smaller.
The next moment, he lost his sense of direction. He could no longer ascertain which direction the fog enveloped him from, which direction his home planet lay in, nothing. It was as if the world was mocking him, mocking his determination. How could a powerless ant resist the law of the world, when it wasn’t even capable of defending itself? The law of the world could not kill him. But it was capable of a lot worse. Xander knew, for he had experienced it firsthand.
The will inside him reacted, and it sent out a burst of emotion. A similar emotion erupted in his own heart, resonating with the will. He knew what came next.
It was going to try and break him.
Again.
Was he starting to regret his actions?
Never.
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Xander Davis was an intelligent man. Hatred could trump many things, including his rationality. Hatred, as an emotion, was so powerful, that it could even supersede the love he held for his wife at the time of their marriage. However, hatred could not trump his intelligence. Instead, it formed an equilibrium. It was a simple concept, for why would a man that existed to destroy his foe, not use all the resources at his disposal? For irrationality was not the same as insanity, and the equilibrium of hatred and intelligence was a vital tool that would assist him on the path to vengeance. Discarding it was the same as discarding his own resolve.
Xander did not regret his actions. But that did not mean he did not fear what the law of the world would use against him. That pain… was not something he wished to go through again. However, there was still fairness in this world. There was something out there, that he could rely upon. His birth in this world, his suffering in this lifetime, and his resolve against the world, all had a meaning, a meaning that escaped him.
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Xander Davis was a man that should have long gone insane. He possessed a will that he knew not the origins of, a will that shielded him from the wrath of the world. A will that shielded him from his own self.
Yet, why was the world targeting him to begin with? Xander had not committed any egregious sins in his life, neither had he killed anyone in this lifetime. One side sought to target him, to destroy him, while the other side sought to protect him, to encourage him.
The world had schemed against his father, resulting in his death. His mother was erased from the world, a fate worse than death itself. For at least his father lived on the memories of the people, whether those memories or impressions be positive, neutral or negative, mattered not. He had at least been given the opportunity to leave a legacy behind.
Why did the world hate him so much? What could agitate a mighty being that viewed all of existence as mere ants to be controlled, single him out of the innumerable beings under its domain?
The doubts he had regarding his own identity were irrelevant for the moment. He analyzed the core of the situation, boiling away the uncertainties and focusing on the most basic of truths.
What was the law of the world?
A ruler that watches over the worlds under its domain?
Xander thought about it, and ultimately answered in the negative. A ruler may view his subjects in a variety of ways, whether that be as people that had pledged their loyalty to him, people that were to be protected, or as people who viewed him as the rightful king, people to be exploited, people who obey unconditionally the orders of their lord.
But ultimately, a ruler, one that rules, cares about the acknowledgement of his subjects, or dreads the lack of it by the very nature of his post.
The law of the world did not view the beings under its domain as subjects. It’s perception of them was similar to the way humans perceive ants. A human does not care about the life and death of an ant. A human does not acknowledge the existence of an ant unless perhaps, one is accidentally stepped upon. A human does not wish to actively harm an ant, but does not particularly care if one is harmed either. When the evolutionary gap is so vast, and one being lacks sentience, even sympathy is difficult to offer.
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Compared to the law of the world, perhaps beings under its domain were indeed ant-like existences, only difference lying in sentience.
The law of the world was emotionless. It viewed itself as a supreme being. But as the ‘law’ of the world, it lacked a very crucial aspect- it was not fair. It was not just. It was a twisted, corrupted, being. A being that had to act under certain limitations, ones that were not decided by itself. How did Xander infer that? The law of the world wished to kill him, but it could not. So, it took everything he had, in hopes that he would end his own existence. If it could set its own limitations, why would it restrict itself?
Ultimately, that was not against the limitations placed upon it. But it was a loophole. A lacunae in the law. One that it ruthlessly exploited, for its own purpose.
There was only one thing that came to his mind when he analyzed its actions: A dictator. A dictator that assumed all beings were beneath its rule, a dictator that cared not for the lives of its people, a dictator that….
…. Would mercilessly try to snuff out beings that posed a threat to it, within the rules it was bound by. And such a being would be protected by those that wished the law of the world to fall, for it to be destroyed, for it to be shredded into pieces…. Much like the will inside him. Exactly like the will inside him.
Did that mean….
Was he the threat?
No. Impossible.
Impossible. Impossible. Simply impossible.
But why else would such a being target him?
The world was the world, yet at the same time it was not. He had reached this realization after his death. Odd, where did it come from? Why was it so… esoteric? Why had he not questioned it before? The will was guiding him, no doubt. The uncomfortable knot in his stomach tightened for its influence was greater than he’d realized, but for now, he finally understood the meaning of this statement.
The world was the world… Earth was originally untouched by the law of the world.
Yet at the same time, it was not…. He was the reason the law of the world had invaded his home planet. That meant that he was the one responsible for his own suffering. A gut wrenching feeling that made him sick to the very core of his being engulfed him, but it subsided moments later.
This time, the will did not interfere.
He was not the reason for this calamity.
No, no, no…. he could no longer deny it any longer.
The overwhelming sense of familiarity he felt from the multi-coloured fog… no, to be precise, a very small portion of the multi-coloured fog that carried an inexplicable, undeniable familiarity that was coded in his very soul… The familiarity that resonated with the will inside him, that called him, that bore him no ill will, the encounter that would protect, rather than harm, him… unlike the vicious mental attacks like the law of the world. His perception of the world, lost! His sense of direction? Lost. Yet, he could sense that resonance as clear as day, as if no one could stop him from reaching that destination!
He was Xander Davis.
No matter what anyone said, he was Xander Davis.
Born on Planet Earth, to Frank and Shelly Davis.
Let anyone who said otherwise be damned.
He was Xander Davis.
And it was time to meet… himself.
===================================
The emotion that the will burst out with, the emotion that reassured Xander enough to face the law of the world, the emotion that resonated with his own determination was....
Mockery.
Mockery of the Heavens.
Mockery of the Heavenly Dao.
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