Chapter 7 - So This Is What Having A Baby Feels Like

“Get up! Get up! Get up!” A shrill voice called from the middle of the room, snapping me awake.

What was this rude wake up call?

It took a second for me to remember what had happened the day before, and why I was lying precariously on the edge of a mouldy dining room table.

That’s right. I’d been turned into a potato. I was no longer Winston June, Lord of Agridia, Keeper of Peace, Defeater of Dragons.

I was just June, potato, an L’Der on the path to potato godhood.

I sighed. I missed my old life. With servants left, right and centre, all ready to attend to my every need. It was luxurious- at least compared to my life now. Most likely, these would be my final few moments. Hadn’t Kearan said he’d eat me for breakfast? What a pathetic way to go out.

My thoughts drifted back to the castle, where it all started.

My uncle would no doubt be staining the walls with his disgusting snot, and now that he was an L’Der too, he would probably have even more power than ever before.

From when I was a child, he had proven his greed to be his most defining aspect. He had always wanted the best. Thankfully, my grandfather, the king, didn’t like his attitude either. Which is why he never ended up being a lord.

Until now.

I felt bad for my servants. When I was the lord, I admit, sometimes I treated them a little harshly. But that would probably be nothing compared to what my uncle was capable of.

I sighed again.

My uncle was notorious for being harsh. Uncle most likely wouldn’t have even let them become Gifted.

Gifted? Servants? My uncle?

Kearan’s voice echoed in my mind. ‘An L’Der without their Gifted is worthless.’

I had found a way to survive.

“Kearan! Kearan! Someone get me Kearan right now.”

May strode down the dirty street, knocking on the spindly wooden doors, demanding for Kearan’s presence. I was snuggled into her dress pocket, feeling a little smug.

Why hadn’t I thought of it before? The reason why Kearan wanted me dead was because I was useless. Because I had no Gifted, I didn’t have any value.

But what if my servants were my Gifted? Granted, I didn’t know how big the radius was for this whole Gifted process. All I knew was that my servants were definitely near me when it happened.

“What’s the problem?” Kearan said from behind us, leaning against the wall casually.

May turned, and without batting an eye, began to explain the situation. “June says that she could have Gifted.”

I winced at the pronoun, but spoke up quickly. I didn’t want to become mashed potato, after all. ‘The place where my wish was granted...’ I began, directing my words to Kearan. ‘There were people near me, I think. Quite a few if I remember correctly.’

He raised an eyebrow. “Was it in a specific place? Do you remember who the people were around you?”

I hesitated. ‘Yeah, I know the people.’

Kearan frowned. “Another thing. Remember how I said Gifted could be traded and passed around from L’Der to L’Der? Those might have already been picked up by another L’Der. Gifted are rare these days, you know?”

He had a point. I was almost a hundred percent sure that the servants would be under Uncle’s command now- whether or not they had been gifted.

But this was the only thing stopping me from being grinded into tiny pieces. Sure, I couldn’t die by being stabbed, but being mashed and digested? That wasn’t a particularly pleasant thing I wanted to test.

Wracking my brain, I desperately tried to find something else that could save me. ‘Um… Is it possible to get them back? How does the trade work anyways?’

“Seeing as you’re a potato, I highly doubt that they’ll want to follow you. I mean, as their original L’Der, they’d still have your symbol, but…” His voice trailed off and he scratched his head. “Look, a ‘trade’ only happens when that specific Gifted desires to follow the other L’Der with all their heart. Unless they were close friends or family. And yes. To answer your question, L’Ders can 'call their Gifted back' by setting quests for them. But to do that, you need to reach a certain rank. Secondly, they need to be a higher stage than the other L’Der. But the thing is, since you are really weak, you probably don’t have a chance… Especially if the other L’Der is the baron. I don’t know, ok? You’re the first time this has happened.”

I blinked. Would the servants desire to follow me? Probably not, considering how I’d treated them all those years. But… I hadn’t been that bad, right? I had been close to some of them. At least closer than the others. They definitely weren’t family, that was for sure.

I chuckled.

Now that I thought of it, a sudden realisation came over me. Those servants? They were more ‘my family’ than my actual family. When was the last time I had spoken to my father if not a request for money? I despised my real family. My relationship with my uncle was proof of that, at least.

“Who were the people anyway?”

Kearan’s abrupt question broke me out of my thoughts.

‘Huh?’

He sighed. “Who were the people anyway? The ones you think you gifted.”

‘Oh…’ I would’ve hung my head if I had one. ‘They were my friends, I guess. The baron’s servants.’

“The baron’s what?” Kearan bolted upright and snatched me out of May’s hand.

Well this wasn’t a reaction I was expecting from him.

‘The baron’s servants. The previous one, at least.’ Why was he so interested?

“How many? Do you know how many?”

‘All.’

And for the first time ever, I watched a smile stretch across Kearan’s face. “We can overthrow the baron.”

‘What are you doing with me? Where are we going? Where’s May? Where’s Riyan?’

“Shut up.” Kearan ordered, striding through into the same room I had first met him in. He dragged out a cracked table into the centre of the room, under the skyroof, before blowing some dust off and tossing me onto the dirty surface. I felt something sticky with lumps in it touch my body. Yuck.

Come to think of it, what did he want out of me anyways? After I’d confirmed my Gifted were most likely my servants- no, Uncle’s servants, he’d kidnapped me back to this sorry excuse of a bar without any explanation.

“Listen up. I’m going to give you two choices here. One, you work with me to reclaim your Gifted from the baron. Or two, I mash you alive and eat you breakfast.”

I stared at him dumbly. It wasn’t much of a choice.

‘Fine, I’ll work with you-’ Before I could even finish, he stuck his face towards me, so close that I could see the individual pores on his reddened skin. Did he have a rash there?

“Let me get this straight with you. I’m in charge. Don’t get any ideas just because you’re an L’Der. The first sign of any funny business and-” Wham. He slammed his fist onto the table, millimetres away from where I layed. “Do you understand?”

I gulped and nodded.

For a teenage boy, Kearan was seriously scary.

“Good.” His expression remained blank, showing no animosity towards me.

“Now.” He said, taking a step back. “Let’s see what you can do.”

‘Ha, right. Of course.’ This was my time to shine.

I grunted, feeling myself all over. Directing all my thoughts into my body, I pushed upwards with the telekinesis I had control over. Maybe telekinesis was even better than being able to move properly.

[Super Duper Weak Telekinesis has leveled up! 2/5]

[Mind Speech has leveled up! 2/20]

The text broke my concentration and I flopped back onto the table. This was the second time a ‘level up’ notification had appeared. I would’ve asked Kearan about it, but his face was creased in a strange expression.

Disappointment.

But why would he be disappointed? I was pretty impressed. Lifting myself off the table by nothing but mental power… surely that deserved some praise. I had practically been flying!

Kearan unsubtly coughed into his hand. “Is that all?”

I fumed. ‘Was that all’ my potato ass! Telekinesis was high class magic!

But of course, I couldn’t say that to him. He was, as of now, my benefactor. He didn’t seem to be appreciating the fact that I was a talking potato, and would probably appreciate me much less if I was a talking potato with attitude.

‘So what if it was?’ I replied as politely as possible.

“Why am I suddenly craving mashed potatoes?” He asked the room.

‘Wait, wait, wait!’ I called. ‘I can do other things. Or at least, I have other skills. I just don’t know how to use them… yet.’ I finished quietly.

“You don’t know how to use your skills?” He looked at me incredulously. “What are you, vegetable brained?” Then he stopped. “Oh that’s right, you are.”

‘Not… funny.’ I quietly growled. ‘If you’re so smart, then how do you do it then?’

Kearan cocked his head sideways, as if I had asked the dumbest question in the world. “Well that’s easy. All you have to do is think of the skill name, and imagine yourself activating it. Oh, if the skill needs direction- something like your telekinesis, you might need to concentrate on that too.”

But I’d stopped listening a while ago. I called out A.S.S and my profile before skimming the list of skills.

___________________________________________

Winston June

Title: Not So Lil’ Spud

Race: Potato

Path: Path to Potato Godhood

Faith: 0

Xera: 100/100

Path Skills:

[Divine Being] (Passive) {Maxed}

Race Skills:

[Germinate] (Active) {1/30} [Potato Battery] (Passive) {1/40}

Misc. Skills:

[Mind Speech] (Active) {2/20} [Super Duper Weak Telekinesis] (Active) {2/5} [Area Of Awareness] (Passive) {2/25}

___________________________________________

My eyes settled on ‘Germinate’, the only one out of my race skills that wasn’t passive.

‘This shouldn’t be too hard.’ I told myself, trying to raise my confidence. ‘All I have to do is think about doing the skill and its name, which is ‘Germinate’- AHHHHHH!’

As soon as I said the word, a burning sensation took over my body, and an incredible amount of pain followed. I was screaming. I wanted to cry. I felt sick. I wanted to pass out. But no matter what I did, which wasn’t much, to be honest, the pain refused to go away.

After what seemed to be a few hours of agony (or seconds), I felt a small object growing from within me. It began to move, all by itself, carving a hole through my potato flesh. As it reached the outer edge of my body, my skin split to allow it to pass and the object clattered onto the tabletop.

It was a small, hard brown pellet. A seed.

I sighed in relief as the pain slowly began to fade away. Why was I feeling pain anyways? It hadn’t hurt when I’d been stabbed by Jay’s dagger before, so why now? Was it some penalty of using the skill?

I looked to Kearan for answers, but his face was a portrait of disgust.

As he pointed a finger accusingly at the seed, he asked a question I’d never thought I’d be asked in my life. Any of my lives.

“D-Did you just take a shit on the table?”