Chapter 16 - Why, God. Just… Why.

The clashes of blades echoed throughout the cave noisily, accompanied by heavy panting and the much softer pitter patter of footsteps on the hard, uneven stone floor. Raul and Mox were hard at training, sparring with each other in the late evening. The only other sounds were the crackling of the campfire and the nom nom nom coming from Kearan, who was enjoying the last of his dinner.

It had been two weeks since Cherry was born and I regained consciousness. We had been trekking throughout the mountains during this time. Oblivion was a place where the natural habitat was seriously mixed and matched. Only a small border of trees divided the mountainous region and the forests apart. I was told it was seriously wacky, although I’d never seen it before, due to not having traversed this deep into Oblivion. We were still following Kearan’s ‘tracker’, and according to him, we were almost there.

Right now, we were spending the night in a cliffside cave to hide from the weather and whatever monsters that might’ve encountered our camp. Though it wasn’t likely, it was still better to be safe. Besides, it was warmer here. According to the others, at least. I couldn’t really tell.

After Cherry had been born, many things changed. The group’s attitude toward me, for example. Before, they would always ignore me, or only talk to me when they wanted something. Which was usually food.

But now, for some strange reason, they seemed to open up to me more. They actually talked. About themselves. And in a friendly way. Sorta. Who knew? Maybe I’d suddenly grown more interesting? Or maybe they took a liking to me-

Who was I kidding? Of course that wasn’t the reason they approached me more. They approached me because of one thing. Cherry.

Cherry, the cute potato that still acted like a child even though I knew her maturity and understanding was well beyond one.

Cherry, who could fly for an indefinite amount of time due to her super strong telekinesis.

Cherry, who could crush monsters with nothing but a thought.

Cherry, who had leveled up ten times during a single day of farming and killing stray monsters.

Cherry, who seemed to know exactly what to say and when to win over the group’s hearts.

Cherry, who was my first child, and seriously fucking over powered.

I sighed. I was jealous. I admit that. I was hella jealous. It was hard to like her, let alone alone love her as my child.

How was she able to do such things, when I could not? Her combat power had risen to a shocking four thousand percent, double what it’d been at the start. It still hadn’t reached Winter’s- or any member of the group’s level yet. It was strange, though. Cherry was clearly much more powerful than any of them in terms of brute force- except for maybe Edith. Edith was, physically, a monster of a man. So it was a wonder why her combat power was so low. Was it because they used weapons or had other skills that made them better ‘in combat’?

Wait, I take that back.

Her combat power was so low compared to the others.

It obviously wasn’t low compared to me.

‘Damn it, God. I bet you did this on purpose. Why the hell did you make me so damn weak!?’

[Oh. Hi. It’s you again. What do you want, Winston?]

‘G-G? What’re you-’ Right. I had forgotten that even mentioning his name would summon his text form. ‘I mean… hi.’

[...]

[You forgot, didn’t you?]

Shit. I had to play this off cool. ‘What do you mean? What did I forget?’

[Yeah… You know I can read your thoughts, right? Or did you forget about that too?]

‘I didn’t.’

I did.

[Anyways. What did you call me out for, Mr Forgetful?]

‘I…’ What did I call him out for? I glanced around to jog my memory, and Cherry playing ‘hot-potato’ with the others while flying seemed to do just the trick.

‘That’s right! You! Why did you make me so weak!’

[Uh, I’m not quite sure what you mean by that.]

‘You know exactly what I mean by that.’

[No, I don’t.]

‘Yes, you do.’

[No, I really don’t.]

‘Yes, you really do.]

[No… I… don't.]

‘Yes… you… do! Stop playing around, G! You know what I mean!’

[Ok, I probably do.]

‘That’s right, now tell me why-’

[Weak as in, you can’t see more than a couple metres around you on all sides?]

‘Yes, now tell me-’

[Weak as in, you struggle to move your own body, let alone other objects?]

‘Yes, now-’

[Weak as in, you’re literally a living vegetable with no use except to be eaten?]

‘Ok. I think that’s enough.’

[Weak as in- Yeah. You’re right. Probably enough. I couldn’t think of any more insults, anyways.]

[So what was your question again?]

‘Why did you make me so weak? And also, how in the bloody hell is Cherry so overpowered?’ I fumed.

[That’s an… interesting question.]

[I’m actually not quite sure how to answer. Do you want the nice answer or the not-so-nice answer?]

‘There’s more than one?’ I asked, not quite sure what he meant.

[Just choose, will you? Stop making my job so difficult. Actually, this isn’t even my job! Why am I doing this to help you humans anyways?]

‘Uh…’ I was at a loss for words. I’d actually never even thought about that. I’d just assumed God gave us these powers because he just… did? ‘Hey, why are you even helping us?’

[*Sigh*. I shouldn’t have said that. I have my reasons, ok, and you’ll find out why in due time. Now what were we saying?]

Wait. I couldn’t let this go. He had basically admitted right in front of me that he had some ulterior motive. And I wanted to know. Not because I cared that much, to be honest. Just because I wanted to use it against him in the future. I hoped.

‘No, no, no. You can’t just change the topic like that. Why don’t you give me a hint? What do you get out of this? Is it funny to you? To see me suffer? Is it some form of entertainment?

The texts took a few seconds to change.

[No. You think I’d do this for fun?]

‘Well… yes? Why else would you do this? I don’t see a point to it.’ Heh. I had him on the ropes.

[*Sigh*. Someone like you, who’s blinded by greed and what’s in front of him obviously wouldn’t understand. Of course there is a point to doing all this. The magic stones, the powers, A.S.S. Normally, I wouldn’t tell anyone, but it wouldn’t hurt to give someone as stupid as you a hint.]

‘Yes, yes?’ He’d fallen right into my trap.

[And no I did not fall into your trap. I’m telling you out of my own courtesy.]

Damn it.

[This whole magic stone business is to help you humans. To give you a chance to protect yourself from what’s coming.]

‘And just what is coming?’ This all sounded like a bunch of nonsense he’d read from one of those quack seers’ predictions about upcoming apocalypses.

[Well I can’t tell you, obviously.]

‘Fu- You’re useless, you know.’ Then I remembered how he’d immediately left the last time after I’d insulted him. ‘I mean, useful. Yeah. Useful. That’s definitely what I meant.’ I quickly corrected myself.

[I’ll let that one slide…]

[Now. You were asking why you were so weak? Do you want the nice or not-nice answer?]

Now it was my turn to sigh. ‘Whatever. The nice answer.’

[You had secret power locked inside you when you were a child. If that power is ever released, the whole world will collapse and an apocalyptic event will occur, wiping out all living beings for hundreds of kilometres. I’ve transformed you into a potato to properly seal those powers for now, which will only unlock safely when you’re ready. In the future, you’ll have to train hard, but eventually, you’ll get almost unlimited power on par with me. This potato form is but the first step to your ultimate control over all of Erobeus. In fact, you have practically infinite potential and will be able to learn every type of magic, skill and ability known to man. It was all hidden deep inside of you from the start, and only by following your path will allow you to truly harness this secret power.]

‘Really?’ My heart was pounding. This was incredible! I’d be able to become as powerful as he was? The potential was hidden inside me this entire time? ‘Just you wait, Uncle, Grandfather, you will all rule under me!’

[Yeah, no.]

[That was a joke.]

[You’re useless. You have less than a fraction of my power. You’ll never reach my level. Bleh.]

[I’m sticking my tongue out at you, by the way.]

‘E-e-ehhhhh???’ I froze. ‘You! You scumbag! You piece of trash! You-’

[Yeah… I didn’t come here for verbal abuse. See ya!]

I didn’t even want to try to stop him. I was too busy fuming.

Why did it seem like every time I had a conversation with him I’d end up furious?

However, my mind was set. I’d prove him wrong. I’d prove to him that I was worthy of becoming a god. Potato god, normal god, whatever. This was the end of weak June. From this moment onward, I’d work as hard as I possibly could to expand my potato army, rank up, and raise my combat power. I wouldn’t let this life go to waste. This potato body, as weak as it was, was my second chance-

“June?” I looked up as I heard Winter call out from the other side of the cave, an e-potato in her hands. She shook it about a few times before coming to the conclusion that it wasn’t me, and picked up the one next to it questioningly.

Apart from interrupting me during my important monologue about self acceptance, things like this seemed to be happening more and more often nowadays, especially since the speed of e-potatoes I produced increased with each level. I couldn’t help but chuckle while watching poor Winter individually pick up potato after potato out of the e-potato sack looking for me when I actually wasn’t in it at all.

‘Winter!’ I called her. ‘I’m over here!’

Was this what twins had to go through? I had my fair share of mistaking one for another, back when I was Winston.

“Oh?” She stopped rummaging around and turned towards me. Winter crossed her arms and pouted as she made her way to where I lay. “There you are. Jeez, how am I supposed to tell you apart from the rest of the potatoes when you look exactly the same?”

I had no answer for her. ‘Luck, I guess?’

Winter laughed and shook her head. “That’s not very dependable, is it? I’ve got an idea.” She flicked her long hair around her shoulders and pulled a hand through it, removing a silky white ribbon that tied her braids together. “Here. I’ll wrap this around you, so we can tell you apart from the others.”

I almost cried in happiness as her calloused hands embraced around me. This was the first step of acceptance. Receiving gifts! All I could do was gaze into her brown eyes and smile.

“Pfft!” Kearan, who had also decided not to participate in the ‘hot-potato’ activity burst out in laughter for some reason.

‘What?’ I asked blankly.

He shuffled a little closer to us on the rock that acted as a makeshift bench. “Nothing. You look good.”

I wasn’t convinced, as he was still chuckling. ‘C’mon… What’s so funny?’

Ignoring me, he leaned across and whispered something in Winter’s ear, which caused a giggle to burst out of her.

‘Oh, really? You too, Winter? Why do you people like doing this to me?’ Great. Way to ruin the mood, Kearan.

“Aw, come on, June. We’re not laughing at you…” Kearan took one more look at me, and couldn’t contain another fit of giggles. “Never… mind…” He said in between heaving laughs. “We are laughing at you.”

That was the last straw. ‘Hmph. You know what’s funny? No potatoes for a week! I’m going on strike! How’d you like that?’ I spun around and stormed off, deeper into the darkness of the cave.

“Oh, Juuunee. We’re sorry, ok? We were just laughing because you looked so strange with that ribbon tied around you. Like a potato ninja, you know?” Winter beckoned for me to lie in her lap.

‘No. You mustn't, June. You mustn’t fall for the basic pleasures of men. You have ascended. You are no longer tempted by the…' I glanced back for a second and witnessed the shining white skin of Winter’s thighs, revealed by a short blue skirt.

I felt my will falter. My body moved of its own accord, and soon I could feel the tenderness of her beautiful thick thighs.

Why had I been struggling, anyways? This was surely too great a pleasure to miss out on.

Ahh, this really was heaven.

If only I could stay like this forever…

All of a sudden, a bright white light glowed from the ribbon that was tied around my head, illuminating the cave. No one apart from me seemed surprised.

‘What’s this?’ I asked, fascinated by how the ribbon could light up like that.

“It’s magic.” Winter replied. “Light magic, to be more exact.”

‘Light magic?’ Back when I was a human, I had no knowledge of magic- except that I didn’t have it. After learning the horrible truth when I was a mear five year old, all my dreams of becoming a handsome mage shattered. I refused to have anything to do with magic, which included learning even the minimal basics. In fact, I remember hanging up a poster on my room’s wall that read ‘Fuck magic.’ After all, what was the point of learning about it if I’d never have a chance to use it?

But all that changed here and now. For now I had ‘xera’, otherwise known as magical power. And learning magic was within my horizons.