《Rise Of The Potato God (LitRPG)》Chapter 24 - The High Highwaymen Are Higher Than A High School On A Highway. That’s A Lot Of Highs.
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Chapter 24 - The High Highwaymen Are Higher Than A High School On A Highway. That’s A Lot Of Highs.
“Weapons up!” Mox shouted, and everyone- except Kearan, who Edith had laid down on the sand, passed out- drew out their weapons.
The portal closed behind us silently, the only remains being a speck of darkness that seemed to melt into the ground moments later. I creeped out of Winter’s pants pocket to get a better look of our surroundings. It was mostly the same as before; red sand, minimal amounts of grass and soil. However, there were two clear differences. Firstly, there were no raggles. Thankfully. The second was the increased density of the forest. Apart from a small clearing we’d landed in, trees surrounded us, almost blocking off any escape routes. They were so close that they could almost touch each other.
Oh, yeah.
And the three men standing pompously in front of us.
The one in the middle wore an expensive looking cyan coloured coat, complemented by scruffy combat pants. Obviously, he had no sense of fashion. He wore a wide brimmed hat and garish red shoes. He had an untamed, orange beard and equally messy hair. His nose looked broken.
The others weren’t much better styled. The one standing to his right, the one who had spoken, was short, incredibly so, and wore a singlet that really didn’t suit his stocky frame. It revealed an ungodly amount of stomach fat, most of which were covered in curly black hairs. Ick. I wanted to puke just looking at him. He wore a pair of loose trousers and too high socks. Clearly, he was balding and was trying to cover it up with an ugly beanie. It made him look like a dwarf. A hideous smirk was plastered onto his face, and I got the feeling that he was trying to look cool. He did not.
Finally, the last one. He was the complete opposite of the dwarf. Tall and lanky, the metal pieces of his suit literally hung off of him. Yes, he was wearing a suit of armour. At least, half of it, anyways. The shoulder and groin pads were replaced by chainmail that was visibly draping in places it wasn’t meant to be. He didn’t wear anything apart from that, except for a helmet. Which was, unsurprisingly, too big for his head. Seriously, where did they get these outfits from?
No one else seemed remotely surprised at the strange men’s apparel. Instead, they formed a protective circle around Kearan, weapons out, ready for a fight.
“Well, well, well. Look what the rats dragged in.” The stocky man repeated, still not moving his crossed arms.
Didn’t he say that before?
An annoyed expression flickered across the leader’s face. “Stop repeating yourself, Darren. You sound like a damn parrot.”
“But did you get it? The pun?” He insisted, still unmoving.
The leader remained quiet, but the other man beside him broke character. He stuck his hand up and flailed about excitedly like a little child. “Ooh! Ooh! I know! Because the raggles are like rats, right? So because the rats caused these people to come here, you-”
“Fools.” The leader grumbled. “Whatever, let’s do the thing. Now.”
For a moment, an awkward silence hung between everyone as we waited for them to do whatever it was that they were going to do.
I, and probably the rest of the group, was trying to determine whether or not they had ill intentions. Assuming they were the ones who sent the raggles, it was no wonder everyone was on high alert.
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However, none of us would’ve ever guessed what was coming next.
“Three, two, one, go!” He called, and all three burst out chanting.
“We are, we are, the High Highwaymen,
Metal, wood, monsters and zen,
Stealing children and riches all night,
We can take on any fight.
Wandering, wandering, Oblivion we go,
Fear our name…”
Their chorus died down into a mumble of words we couldn’t make out.
“Fear your name… what?” Raul asked, slightly lowering his sword. “I didn’t catch the last bit.”
“That was it. We haven’t figured out what comes after ‘fear our name’.” The one named Darren said.
“Wait a minute. That doesn’t rhyme with ‘go’, though.” Raul said loudly.
“We-” The leader said, flustered. “We’re still working on it, ok?”
Jay raised an eyebrow.
“So what did you think?” The skinny one asked eagerly. “You guys are the second people to hear it! The first was the three we captured last month-”
He didn’t get to finish.
In the blink of an eye, Winter lunged forward, sword first, ready to take off his head. An arrow flew from Verity’s bow, heading straight for the gap in between the armoured man’s helmet and chestplate.
The two would be dead in mere seconds.
Or at least, that was what should have happened.
Instead, a massive cloud of dust erupted from where we stood, obstructing our sight.
Luckily for me, I had a backup plan. ‘Xera vision.’ The world darkened and the outlines of the people came alive. All three still had their cores and circuits intact, meaning that Verity and Winter’s attack must not have hit them. Their position still had not moved. So too were Verity and Winter, for some reason frozen in their same attacking positions as last time. How had they stopped the attack? I didn’t know, and didn’t think about it.
Why?
Because there was something else that was keeping my mind busy.
And it was below us.
Several life forms squirmed and writhed on top of each other under the very surface we were standing on, as thick as bears with a long body that somewhat resembled a worm or snake. They were deep in the ground. Very, very deep, which was why I hadn’t spotted them before. I couldn’t tell, but it seemed like they were coiling around something large and round. Whatever it was, its core glowed brighter than anyone else's I’d seen before- except mine. I didn’t know whether this was another one of the ‘High Highwaymen’s’ monsters or if they even knew about it at all.
“Ah- Ah- Ahem!” The leader shouted out annoyingly loudly to get our attention.
The smoke had cleared and nothing had changed, except for the thick wooden beams extended out from the borderline trees’ trunks, wrapping around Verity and Winter’s limbs. They kept them suspended in the air like dolls, binding their movements.
Growling, literally growling, a fire ignited in Edith’s hand and spread the length of his battle axe. “You better start running.”
Wow, that sounded cool.
However, the highwaymen didn’t seem to think so.
Crack.
A tree about two metres away from him split in half, two wooden tentacles shooting out to restrain him. With incredibly fast reflexes, Edith spun around and lodged the tip of his flaming battle axe in one of the beams. It slowed down for a second, but as the leader flicked his hand, the beam split into four, stretching out and snapping around his body, pinning his arms to his side.
“Now, now. That was quite rude. I was still talking.”
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Edith did not give up. I watched him take a deep breath in before dropping the battle axe. He made eye contact with the man that put him in this state and said a few inaudible words calmly. A burning smell filled the air and Edith shut his eyes. His skin glowed red and the wood around him began to catch fire.
“What’s this? It looks like he wants to be punished even more.” Darren said excitedly. “Can Minie have a little snack on him? Please, Lando?”
I was confused. Why wasn’t anyone else doing anything? Mox and Raul and Jay were just standing there, watching everything unfold. Why didn’t they help? Why didn’t they step in?
I made up my mind.
If they wouldn’t, I would. I mightn't be able to do much, but that was better than just standing around.
‘Mutati-’I began.
Before I could finish, Winter looked straight down at me, and shook her head slowly. ‘No.’ She mouthed. It almost hurt me physically to see her strung up like a doll, embarrassed for everyone to see. So why wouldn’t she let me fight?
“Stop.” Mox’s voice rang out loud and powerful in the small clearing. He sheathed his sword and took two steps forward. “We… surrender.”
‘What? Why would you-’ I exclaimed, then noticed how his eyes kept darting toward the figure of Kearan lying on the sand, sweating profusely.
Lando, the leader, didn’t seem to hear me and nodded. “Good choice. Now come quietly and you won’t get hurt. Until we torture you, of course!”
Was that an exclamation mark at the end?
“Aww. That means Minie won’t get her snack.” Darren said dejectedly.
The skinny one, who hadn’t spoken for a while, rolled his eyes. “Whatever, Darren. Just gas them already so we can go have lunch. I’m hungry.”
Darren sighed. “Fine, fine.” He whistled a strange tune and the ground began to shake.
Meow!
A large creature bounded overhead, releasing a green gas above us all. I wasn’t too worried about it. I didn’t have nostrils to inhale the gas with, anyways. What concerned me more was that creature. From the quick glimpse of its underbelly, I saw white fur with a red striped and black spotted pattern on it. The creature had four legs with large claws and… had it meowed? Surely no cat was that big.
Soon, the world faded away, entirely replaced by that green gas. I could barely see a thing through the fog and wanted to return to my king sized bed for a nice nap. Unfortunately, I was only allowed to sleep when it was bedtime. No afternoon or after lunch naps, was what father said. If I was to be a good boy, I had to do what he said.
And I… what was I saying again? Something about beds?
No, I needed to focus. I was a potato. Not a person. Right now, I was… where was I? In a light show? The way the green light flickered across the fog was so pretty.
So, so pretty...
“June? June? Are you there?” A distant voice said softly.
‘Mmm, five more minutes, mother.’ I replied groggily, turning around in my silken sheets. My mattress was unnaturally hard today and for some reason, my blanket was so scratchy. What was going on?
“June! Get up!” The woman’s whispered loudly, and my sight snapped on.
The world wasn’t blurry like it should’ve been the moment after I opened my eyes. Right. That was because I didn’t have eyes. How could I have forgotten? I was no longer a child. I was… a potato. Well that felt surprisingly depressing.
“June? I really can’t tell whether or not you’re awake, so if you are, please give me a sign.”
It was Winter.
‘Winter! What happened?’ I shot up, knocking a sleeping Cherry next to me. The place I’d woken to was dark, barely lit by a few candles across a set of bars. The damp floor was made of wood planks, and so were the walls, the roof and even the bars that barred our way- pardon the pun. Everything was made of wood. I had a suspicion that this cell had been created by the same magic as the one that immobilised Winter, Verity and Edith in milliseconds. It had to be powerful, that was for sure.
Wait a minute. Did I just assume that this room was created with magic? Maybe I was getting just a little bit too comfortable, dabbling in this whole magic business. This was really not my style. But then again, what was my style? Ever since I became a potato, I’d never really thought about it. Was I the kind of person- correction, potato, to laze around all day? Or was I the kind of potato to-
Oh, god.
Did I just almost have a mid-life crisis while being trapped in a cell by a bunch of magically overpowered lunatics?
Yikes.
That gas must have somehow done something to my head. My thoughts seemed very, very scattered. Now what was I saying again? Oh, yes. Winter.
“I see you’re awake.” Mox said from the other side of the cell. He was slumped against the wall, tired but reassuringly, unharmed.
‘Mox!’ I began to hover, but was quickly clamped down by Winter, who shook her head slowly.
“Don’t.” She said, “Stay hidden. They aren’t around, but will come running if they detect any xera used.”
Reluctantly, I dropped back down to the floor. ‘Fair enough. What happened?’
“We were gassed.” Mox said.
I rolled my eyes. ‘I know. But I don’t breathe, so why would it affect me?’
“It wasn’t normal sleeping gas. It was magic. A form of xera, to be more precise. Mixed with a drug, it tricked our bodies to absorb it- whether or not we wanted to.” He explained, then gestured towards a convulsing figure in the corner, panting heavily. “And it fucked Kearan up even more.”
A wracking cough exploded from Kearan’s body, and dark red blood splattered across the wall. He went limp.
I made a move towards him, but Verity, who looked much more bedraggled than her usual self, stopped me. “He needs to rest. You don’t want to see him right now.”
I hesitated. ‘Is this the ‘risk’ of opening a travel gate?’
Mox shook his head. “I doubt it. Even something like that wouldn’t have him in such a state. His xera circuits are completely ruptured.”
‘Xera circuits?’ I thought to myself. Did he mean… ‘Xera vision.’
The green veins circling through Kearan’s body were indeed ruptured. Xera leaked from several points into the rest of his body. I might not have known much about magic science, but I could tell that this wasn’t right.
‘Will he be okay?’
“We… don’t know yet. Verity has tried every possible healing spell and skill she can use, but they don’t seem to be very effective.” He admitted.
I was more confused by the first thing he said. ‘You can use magic here?’
He nodded and a small flame burst into his palm. “It’s limited, though. Only beginner spells are allowed. Somehow, these people acquired magic nullifying runestones. I thought only the royals had access to them.”
Runestones. Even I knew what they were. Magic infused ‘stones’ which could perform a designated spell a limited number of times. I’d given away plenty in my old life as compensation to starving villagers. Looking back on it now, I was ashamed. What were they to do with such runestones? Magic was their only source of income.
But back to the task at hand.
I owed Kearan and the rest of this group my life. It was time to return the favour.
‘What can I do to help?’ I asked. Rather bravely, I might add.
A faint smile spread across Mox’s lips. “I was hoping you’d say that.”
“So Kearan was right about him, then.” Someone said from the other side of the room.
I looked around, surprised to see a cloaked figure fingering a tiny gold locket.
‘Who are you?’
He lifted his hood, revealing a scarred face with piercings on his nose, ears and lips. His striking coal eyes accentuated his youth. He couldn’t have been older than eighteen, even younger than Kearan.
“I am Rarq. The Shadow King of the Alleyways. Kearan’s right hand man.”
There was something about him that made me want to take a step back.
Something sinister.
“Brother, don’t scare him like that.” Verity sighed.
Wait a minute. This guy was Verity’s brother? They looked- and acted- nothing alike.
“This doesn’t mean I’m on your side, potato, so don’t get any ideas.”
Nevermind, I take it back.
I could definitely see the resemblance. They were both intimidating in their own ways.
“Uh, guys? Kearan’s dying, remember?” Mox said.
‘Oh, uh, right.’ I replied, still peeking out at Rarq and Verity out of the corner of my vision. And then I realised we were missing several people. ‘Hey, where’s everyone else?’
Mox sighed. “I was getting to that.”
‘Ah, right.’ It was probably best if I remained silent.
“As I was about to say. On the way here, I activated my skill ‘Poison Resistance’ which nullified the effects of the drug. I pretended to be asleep while they brought us here on a corinulus, which is a flying cat-type monster. We’re about a five minute fly away from the clearing. I don’t know in what direction, though. They’ve split us into two cells, one on each side of their base. You need to sneak across the camp- it’s pretty easy to navigate. These people aren’t exactly professional architects. Free the others and bring them here. Fern is a B ranked water mage, and can assist Verity. You’ll also need to disable the runestones which are spread out in a triangle formation around each cell. The cell itself is made of wood magic, and near impossible to break out of. All three highwaymen have a key on their belt. They seem pretty stupid to me, so stealing it shouldn’t be a problem. The whole point of this is to remain undetected- don’t cause a ruckus that might alert more people. I’m not sure whether or not there are any more highwaymen, so stay alert. They’d never suspect a potato, right?”
‘But what about you guys? How are you going to get out? If you stay here, they might-’
Winter smiled and clutched me to her chest, cutting me off. “It’s been close to five hours already, and they haven’t done anything. Don’t worry about us. Even if you broke us out now, in Kearan’s state, we’d just be running around like headless chickens.”
Damn, that sounded like an indirect insult to Mox to me.
Mox chuckled. “I’m afraid I have to agree. Apart from a few moments in battle, my decision making simply can’t compare to Kearan’s.”
I mentally shrugged. These people were so weird. ‘Alright. Disable the runestones, steal the key, free the others and come back here. Sounds simple enough to me. Cherry?’
Cherry, who’d been listening intently the whole time, replied instantly. ‘Yes, papa?’
‘You’re coming with me, right?’
Truth be told, I most likely wouldn’t have even offered to help without knowing that she’d be by my side.
‘Of course!’
I breathed a sigh of relief and steadied myself, before slipping through the wooden bars of the cell. Looking side to side, I was relieved to see that the corridors were empty.
“June!” Mox whispered loudly. “Remember, this is a stealth mission. Do not engage with anyone. Let me repeat myself if I haven’t been clear enough. Do. Not. Engage. With. Anyone.”
‘Yeah, yeah.’ I said, brushing him off.
With one last glance at the convulsing Kearan, I set off slowly, rolling down the hallway to my right.
It was time to be a hero.
[Potato Body is on cooldown. 0:33:27]
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