《Give me my lily pad back.》Committee Commiserations
Advertisement
After much debate, a little discussion, a lot of humming and hawing, and more Honourable Ladies and Right Honourable gentlemen (Nobody explained to Mibbet, no matter how much she asked why ladies couldn’t be right honourable, but instead had to settle for plain old honourable.) The decision was reached to convene a council immediately after. (At the thought of yet more meetings Mibbet eyed the window longingly, with the same desperation as a wolf with its leg in a trap, but DIY amputation of the toothy variety really wouldn’t work here. “besides” Rosalind commented drily, “they’d just wheel you back in and you’d be less able to run from the next one.”
That made sense to Mibbet, who resigned herself to her fate (because she wasn’t allowed to resign to escape it mostly.)
As the half zombified members of parliament (given the age of the average MP it would not surprise her in the least if that description was completely accurate,) shambled out of the hall King Ethelred pulled Prime Minister Strike to one side.
“Told you, now pay up”.
With a groan the prime minister dug deep into his personal coffers (not to be confused with the parliamentary coffers no matter what certain members of parliament may tell you.) Reluctantly handing over the winnings. (Extremely reluctantly, it was a running joke in the kingdom that copper wire was first invented by him and the finance minister fighting over a penny.) But a bet was a bet, and he had lost fair and square. He really hated to lose too, far too little practice.
So in a supreme act of pettiness he turned to Ethelred. “Your daughter showed real skill in there, she should sit in on the council too.” He was stuck sitting in on this meeting, and out of pocket to boot. He sure as hell wasn’t going to suffer alone.
Advertisement
Despite her misfortune Mibbet was happy to attend this meeting (especially when the word coffee was mentioned, that particular perk really perked her up.) She took a seat as close to the door as possible, she wanted the option to flee even if there was no way she could possibly take it without more drama. Just then a maid quickly poured her a cup of the divine brew, and the meeting began.
Once long ago humans had decided they needed a way to do not a lot by seeming to do lots. They had had a meeting to discuss it, and then when that meeting stalled they called in more people and did it all over again. By the time the fourth such meeting had passed. Which consisted mostly of people grumbling about how nothing useful at all had happened in the previous three.) Somebody finally thought of those beautiful billable hours, and the devil himself grinned in glee, as the ultimate evil, the committee, was born.
Somehow despite this council convening years after that ill fated meeting , and in defiance of all logistics, this meeting was proving to be the grand daddy of all committee meets.
So far they had agreed the type of ginger snaps to bring to the next meeting (a highly controversial issue apparently, leading to 20 minutes of debate on the alternative options, with each member determined their particular brand of biscuit, cookie, macaroon, and even *gasp* meringue, was a hill they were ready, willing, able, and even determined to die on. Before a brave soul dared suggest the ultimate solution, to the shock of all assembled, a selection tin.)Then they decided that the previous meetings recorder had not kept accurate records, and nominated multiple candidates, and held an election for the new recorder. After some heated discussion on the fact that at least one member wasn’t there, so it wasn’t a real and binding vote, they’d have to come back to it later.
Advertisement
Mibbet meanwhile was considering the gnawability of her limbs, and eyeing the exit with a deep longing usually reserved for lead characters in romance novels to cast at the biggest jerk in the room. She desperately swigged her coffee, only to taste the greatest betrayal mankind had ever devised. “decaf” Rosalind grumbled, as somewhere deep inside Mibbets froggy brain something went SNAP.
“That hopping does it” she roared. “How many different ways can you think of to do nothing about a DROUGHT? You have a literal emergency, and here you are dithering over the flavour of biscuits, and who writes what down? So let’s make this simple, I’m chairing this meeting, want to argue? Fine, first puddle-spawner to try to debate it will need surgery to remove said chair from a place I’m fairly sure you’ve all been polishing benches with for the past few decades.”
Mrs Beaton of course rose to object, only to be met with a full powered glare of froggy fury that would make librarians reconsider their tactics, and heavily suggested she knew their full name (yes even the middle one) and would not hesitate to use it. So for the first time in her life Mrs Beaton found herself.... defeated, and sat down with Nary a grumble.
Next came Mr Mustard, a retired Colonel who had quite a thing for Mrs Beaton (and definitely for her cooking, and to be fair Mrs Beatons cream puffs were magnificent.) He rose to his feet, summoning all the harrumph, hmph, and all round blowhardery he was able to invoke, and prepared his best attack.
“Now see here my good woman.”
Mibbet didn’t even need to tackle that one, instead she unleashed the full power of a weaponized Rosalind.
“Oh begging your pardon sir, I was quite aware I was a good woman, but last time I checked I was not yours, was not betrothed or bonded to you, and most importantly was not and never will be the property of any man no matter what he may have to say to the contrary. Now sit down and be silent unless you are lending your particular expertise to the field of civic engineering, architecture, irrigation, hell even offering sacrifices to the great rain god Wannashowa would be more productive than what you just wasted hours of my life doing, and given that I just made him up that’s saying something. now SOMEBODY GET SOME REAL GODSDAMNED COFFEE IN HERE, OFFER ME DECAF AGAIN AND I’LL PUT YOU 6 FEET IN THE GROUNDS.”
After that silence had fallen, and could not get up. Rosalind took a deep breath and passed the reins back to Mibbet. It was time to see what she could do.
Advertisement
- In Serial27 Chapters
The Crux of Human Suffering
Braxton finds himself in a life or death struggle with a disease in his everyday life, but during his dreams wildly painful struggles and fantastical wonders await his every move. The great mystery of the other world eventually hits a peak as he finds himself able to stay in the dream like world. What is happening? Why is the dream so realistic? Can Braxton finally find meaning? Or is he doomed to a life of Regrets and Anguish?Author Note*I promise to push myself as a writer, and you as a reader. It means I'll make mistakes, but it also means you will never read another story like this.SUPER PRESTIGIOUS MEGA CLUB I AM APART OF!The Order of Phantasmal Architects
8 126 - In Serial14 Chapters
Re: Dragonize
After an unexpected turn of events, Drew must now survive in a world full of challenges with life-or-death stakes. Gone are the days when the biggest problems to face were awkward small-talk at physics department luncheons or mountains of lab work; this former physicist is now adrift in an unfamiliar land without any equipment. Now, Drew's only tool (if it can be called that) is a System, which provides constant reminders of all of the things that are still out of reach for a low-level being who's just arrived in a new world. Luckily, Drew has one powerful asset when taking on the challenges of this new world: surviving violent conflict is a lot easier when you have the power of a dragon at your disposal. Still, Drew has always considered violence a last resort. Why turn to fists (or claws) when a bit of quiet consideration might expose a better path forward? Maybe a life of quiet contemplation is still within reach for this former academic researcher. ...Or maybe not. It probably won't be a life of bloodless pacifism. Additional information for those who wish to calibrate their expectations (I'm adding this based on a few comments I received from readers who feel that the story is not what they expected from a dragon-themed story): Re: Dragonize is not a power fantasy -- or at least, it's not intended to be one. Re: Dragonize is a progression fantasy starting with a protagonist who must start at the bottom (or close to it), and work gradually upwards, making incremental progress with plenty of setbacks along the way. The protagonist, as someone coming from the world of academia, tends to be cautious, methodical, and contemplative. As such, expect this story to contain more than a few digressions as the main character takes the time to pontificate on a variety of topics ranging from Newtonian physics and horology to the nature of existence and the ethical dilemmas associated with being an obligate carnivore.
8 192 - In Serial7 Chapters
The Second Try at the Cataclysm (Apocolyptic Gamelit)
The last of the world burns around Kal, the last surviving member of humankind. The cataclysm started over twenty years ago, and today humanity lost. Being the last one to die, Kal was given a gift by the gods to go back to the start of it all and change the course of humanity.
8 82 - In Serial30 Chapters
Three Hundred Years After The End Of The World
Three hundred years after the end of the world as humanity knew it, the gears of an old plan slowly begin to move again, as a group of self-imposed reincarnators, along with their equally unlikely companions, gather once again to set things right... but does the world they plan to restore need, or even want, their help? Follow the misadventures of an eclectic bunch of genius misfits as they attempt to assemble and fix the world they accidentally devastated in the past. ~~~ Author's note: This is actually the first volume of a novel I wrote nearly a decade ago for the VNDB discussion boards, taking inspiration from the random off-topic ramblings that characterized the golden age of the community. After sevear years and countless rewrites, it is pretty much unrecognizable, but while it is not fit for professional publishing (due to the fact that several fragments and older versions are still out there on various forums and blogs), I decided it is a waste to just let it sit idly on my hard drive forever. As such, I decided to share it somewhere where people could maybe appreciate it, so here it is.
8 133 - In Serial22 Chapters
medieval reincarnation(being remade)
This Story is Going to me remade,
8 223 - In Serial45 Chapters
SINNER - Klaus Mikaelson
Adeline Andrew's was living a normal life in Mystic Falls, until the most feared vampire in the world showed up. Klaus Mikaelson thought there was only one thing he wanted in that sleepy town, but then he laid eyes on Adeline. | Klaus Mikaelson Love Story ||TVD AND THE ORIGINALS|*Mature Themes*#1 in the vampire diaries 05/2021#1 in Klaus - 03/2021#2 in TVD - 03/2021#1 in Damon - 04/2021#3 in Vampire - 03/2021#5 in Klaus Love Story - 03/2021#1 in Stefan Salvatore - 04/2021
8 114

