《Give me my lily pad back.》Committee Commiserations
Advertisement
After much debate, a little discussion, a lot of humming and hawing, and more Honourable Ladies and Right Honourable gentlemen (Nobody explained to Mibbet, no matter how much she asked why ladies couldn’t be right honourable, but instead had to settle for plain old honourable.) The decision was reached to convene a council immediately after. (At the thought of yet more meetings Mibbet eyed the window longingly, with the same desperation as a wolf with its leg in a trap, but DIY amputation of the toothy variety really wouldn’t work here. “besides” Rosalind commented drily, “they’d just wheel you back in and you’d be less able to run from the next one.”
That made sense to Mibbet, who resigned herself to her fate (because she wasn’t allowed to resign to escape it mostly.)
As the half zombified members of parliament (given the age of the average MP it would not surprise her in the least if that description was completely accurate,) shambled out of the hall King Ethelred pulled Prime Minister Strike to one side.
“Told you, now pay up”.
With a groan the prime minister dug deep into his personal coffers (not to be confused with the parliamentary coffers no matter what certain members of parliament may tell you.) Reluctantly handing over the winnings. (Extremely reluctantly, it was a running joke in the kingdom that copper wire was first invented by him and the finance minister fighting over a penny.) But a bet was a bet, and he had lost fair and square. He really hated to lose too, far too little practice.
So in a supreme act of pettiness he turned to Ethelred. “Your daughter showed real skill in there, she should sit in on the council too.” He was stuck sitting in on this meeting, and out of pocket to boot. He sure as hell wasn’t going to suffer alone.
Advertisement
Despite her misfortune Mibbet was happy to attend this meeting (especially when the word coffee was mentioned, that particular perk really perked her up.) She took a seat as close to the door as possible, she wanted the option to flee even if there was no way she could possibly take it without more drama. Just then a maid quickly poured her a cup of the divine brew, and the meeting began.
Once long ago humans had decided they needed a way to do not a lot by seeming to do lots. They had had a meeting to discuss it, and then when that meeting stalled they called in more people and did it all over again. By the time the fourth such meeting had passed. Which consisted mostly of people grumbling about how nothing useful at all had happened in the previous three.) Somebody finally thought of those beautiful billable hours, and the devil himself grinned in glee, as the ultimate evil, the committee, was born.
Somehow despite this council convening years after that ill fated meeting , and in defiance of all logistics, this meeting was proving to be the grand daddy of all committee meets.
So far they had agreed the type of ginger snaps to bring to the next meeting (a highly controversial issue apparently, leading to 20 minutes of debate on the alternative options, with each member determined their particular brand of biscuit, cookie, macaroon, and even *gasp* meringue, was a hill they were ready, willing, able, and even determined to die on. Before a brave soul dared suggest the ultimate solution, to the shock of all assembled, a selection tin.)Then they decided that the previous meetings recorder had not kept accurate records, and nominated multiple candidates, and held an election for the new recorder. After some heated discussion on the fact that at least one member wasn’t there, so it wasn’t a real and binding vote, they’d have to come back to it later.
Advertisement
Mibbet meanwhile was considering the gnawability of her limbs, and eyeing the exit with a deep longing usually reserved for lead characters in romance novels to cast at the biggest jerk in the room. She desperately swigged her coffee, only to taste the greatest betrayal mankind had ever devised. “decaf” Rosalind grumbled, as somewhere deep inside Mibbets froggy brain something went SNAP.
“That hopping does it” she roared. “How many different ways can you think of to do nothing about a DROUGHT? You have a literal emergency, and here you are dithering over the flavour of biscuits, and who writes what down? So let’s make this simple, I’m chairing this meeting, want to argue? Fine, first puddle-spawner to try to debate it will need surgery to remove said chair from a place I’m fairly sure you’ve all been polishing benches with for the past few decades.”
Mrs Beaton of course rose to object, only to be met with a full powered glare of froggy fury that would make librarians reconsider their tactics, and heavily suggested she knew their full name (yes even the middle one) and would not hesitate to use it. So for the first time in her life Mrs Beaton found herself.... defeated, and sat down with Nary a grumble.
Next came Mr Mustard, a retired Colonel who had quite a thing for Mrs Beaton (and definitely for her cooking, and to be fair Mrs Beatons cream puffs were magnificent.) He rose to his feet, summoning all the harrumph, hmph, and all round blowhardery he was able to invoke, and prepared his best attack.
“Now see here my good woman.”
Mibbet didn’t even need to tackle that one, instead she unleashed the full power of a weaponized Rosalind.
“Oh begging your pardon sir, I was quite aware I was a good woman, but last time I checked I was not yours, was not betrothed or bonded to you, and most importantly was not and never will be the property of any man no matter what he may have to say to the contrary. Now sit down and be silent unless you are lending your particular expertise to the field of civic engineering, architecture, irrigation, hell even offering sacrifices to the great rain god Wannashowa would be more productive than what you just wasted hours of my life doing, and given that I just made him up that’s saying something. now SOMEBODY GET SOME REAL GODSDAMNED COFFEE IN HERE, OFFER ME DECAF AGAIN AND I’LL PUT YOU 6 FEET IN THE GROUNDS.”
After that silence had fallen, and could not get up. Rosalind took a deep breath and passed the reins back to Mibbet. It was time to see what she could do.
Advertisement
- In Serial13 Chapters
Advent: Red Mage
Book 1 and 2 of the Redmage series are being published on Amazon Kindle Unlimited. Due to the exclusivity clause, I have been forced to take down the vast majority of the book. You can read book one here. Book two here.Drew Michalik was working in a top-secret facility in Washington, D.C. when the Advent began. As all electronics in the world simply ceased to work, blue screens filled with information appeared before him. Drew gained access to a mana interface and a limited number of reality-altering crystals called Xatherite. Following the instructions on his vision-impairing screens, he ‘slotted’ his Xatherite and changed his fate: he gained the ability to cast spells. Now alone in the dark, he must battle through the government bunker-turned-dungeon in a desperate bid for survival. Escape is only the beginning; the first of his many problems in the changed world. Drew will be tasked to not only survive… but to guide the rest of humanity safely through the anarchy. Light LitRPG elements, no harem. Updates on Monday.
8 211 - In Serial7 Chapters
Eldest Son of the Heavenly Emperor
Tired of being confined in the Heavenly Palace for years, Taiyang Tianshang, the eldest son of the Heavenly Emperor finally escapes from the grasp of his father who wants him to compete for the Heavenly Throne with his youngest brother. Yet, Taiyang only wants to see the outside world. What will happen when the eldest son of Heavenly Emperor, who has all the power under the heavens at his fingertips, runs amok amongst the mortals? Follow Taiyang as he meets many friends, foes and jade-like beauties along his adventure.
8 178 - In Serial12 Chapters
Windchasing
Having fled the planet's surface to escape extinction seven centuries prior, the last remnants of humanity—living aboard the airship Ventus—face a new danger that threatens to finish the job.
8 117 - In Serial8 Chapters
The Bird's Song
Lazy Katherina unwittingly finds herself in the service of a magician. She not only has to do housework and run errands in an alien world, but deal with the magician's temper which grows more intolerable by the day. A town by the river with little houses and flowery gardens. Everyday magic and living statues. The smell of old books and coffee and fresh buns. Isn't it a fairy tale? Not for someone who desperately wants to go home. Is the city as friendly as it looks? What lies beneath the moss-covered shadow of the world? What do scarlet butterflies whisper? Should Katherina trust strangers? And more importantly, should she trust herself? It's all up to the heroine to find out.
8 131 - In Serial20 Chapters
Despite not Being a Hero, Saint, or Even a Demon King, I was Summoned
I was summoned to another world. Not as a Hero, not as a Saint, not even as a Demon King, but as a regular contract demon. You know, like the ones that come when you sacrifice a chicken or something on top of a magic circle. It's a bit weird, especially since I'm human, but I've just decided to go with the flow for now. Which apparently means becoming the employee of an item shop. (What's that? You want to know what cheat powers I've been given? Well, how about an inexhaustible source of mana substitute? ...Holy crap, I have an inexhaustible source of mana substitute.)
8 185 - In Serial12 Chapters
X-Men Alex Summers/Havok imagines
Alex Summers is everybody's perfect guy. He's loyal, protective and not to mention, looks like a god. A collection of Alex Summers/ Havok imagines for all types of people: for those looking for adorable cuddles and kisses, to those who like it a little more spicy ;)(I do not own Alex Summers or any of the X-Men characters mentioned. I only own the characters I create myself, that I will mention as each chapter goes on)So, sit back and enjoy! ♡
8 195

