《Everyone's a Catgirl!》Chapter 3: The Beans
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Keke led me into a dense, forested area lining the beach with tall palm trees and low foliage. We followed a marked path, weaving between tall grass and vegetation. The air smelled clean, and the sky was pure, unmarked blue. True paradise.
“How far away do you live?” I asked, constantly finding my eyes drifting to her swaying hips and tail. Damn, it was a nice view.
“It’s not far.” She smiled over her shoulder, and I forced my gaze to hers. “You really just got here, huh?”
“Yup. I have no idea where I am.” I ran a hand through my hair.
“Your iPaw will tell you all about it!”
It seemed like me and the iPaw were destined to spend eternity together. “What if I want you to tell me about it?”
A heartstopping smile spread across Keke’s face.
I felt my cheeks burn, and I glanced to the side. “I mean. You don’t have to, of course. I can check the, uh, the iPaw.”
Keke paused and picked a thick twig from off the path. “No, I can show you.” She dug the end of the twig into the ground and carved out a crude drawing. “Sorry, I’m not very good at art.”
“Any map is better than no map,” I said.
“If you say so,” she giggled. When she’d finished, she pulled her hand back to reveal a large, wobbly cat paw.
Seriously? Maybe I should have expected it.
Keke tapped on various parts of the drawing. “So, all of this is Nyarlea.” Then, she drew a circle around the biggest part of the image—the metacarpal pad, for the feline-initiated. “And this is Nyarlothep.”
“Alright.”
“And these here,” she circled the four extensions from the top, “are the Toe Bean Islands.”
“Of course they are.”
“What?” Keke paused, her brow furrowing in confusion.
“Nothing. Continue.”
She pointed to each branching island from left to right. “Ichi Island, Ni Island, San Island, and Shi Island. We’re right here, on Ni Island.”
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Was this the whole world? Would Keke know that? I had a lot of questions but was worried about burdening her with them. Maybe spending some alone time with the iPaw wasn’t a terrible idea.
“Thanks for the map,” I said. “I’m sure it’s true to life.”
She stuck out her tongue. “I hope not. Come on. You look tired.”
I really was. Exhaustion wracked my limbs, and everything felt heavy. Like I could lie down and sleep for the rest of the day, even though the sun shined immediately overhead. Maybe getting reincarnated took a lot out of a guy.
We continued for a short time until we reached a modest village set into the side of a mountain. White houses with flat roofs lined the cliffside in precise rows. Catgirls wandered outside, performing various daily tasks—hanging washed clothing on lines, carrying baskets filled with fish and vegetables, talking excitedly with one another.
“Holy shit,” I murmured. I couldn’t help myself.
Keke followed the direction of my stare, then glanced nervously at me while biting her lip. “I think for now we should move quietly. I’m sure you’ll want a bath and clean clothes before you meet them?”
She was right. My jeans and top were starting to itch, and I wasn’t sure how much longer I’d be able to hold myself up. “You have a point.”
“Okay. This way.” Keke nodded and gestured to follow her.
We took a long path around, utilizing carts and stacks of boxes to our advantage to stay out of sight. I silently replayed the music from Metal Gear Solid in my head as we did so but didn’t think Keke would understand the joke. It helped keep me distracted enough to not try to catch the attention of every catgirl we passed.
Once we were outside the more populated areas, Keke honed in on one white house in particular and I followed close behind.
“Keke! You’re back!” a cheerful voice greeted from afar.
Keke froze, and her shoulders tensed. A catgirl a little shorter and more petite than Keke jogged toward us. She had long white hair with pink accents and bright gold eyes. A sailor-style dress fell just above her thighs, and a tiny gold bell jingled at her throat.
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“Did you have a good,”—she came to a sudden halt, and her eyes widened when she saw me— “swim?”
“Cannoli. Don’t scream.” Keke held up her hands.
Cannoli covered her mouth and squeaked.
“I said don’t scream.” Keke hissed.
“I don’t know if I’d call that a scream—” I began.
“A boy!” Cannoli gasped. “You found a boy!”
“Okay. Inside. Come on.” Keke grabbed Cannoli’s arm and led her to the door. I took it as my hint to follow and trailed behind them. Keke slammed the door behind her.
I found myself standing in what looked like a kitchen or dining area, just a few hundred years before my time. There was a wood-burning stove in a far corner with dried fish and preserves dangling from the ceiling. Wooden cupboards lined the walls, and metal utensils hung neatly above them. In the center of the room was a round table with two stools—it didn’t seem like Keke entertained often. Aromas of cooked meats and warm spices reached from wall to wall, and I found myself melting into a chair.
“A boy!” Cannoli repeated in her high, breathy voice. She touched my hair and yanked back her hand with another squeak.
“My name’s Matt,” I said, watching her with amusement. “I won’t bite.”
“Where did you find him?” She poked my arm. I grabbed her wrist. She squealed and writhed in my grip, and I had to let her go. I didn’t have the energy to keep my hold.
As Keke explained her epic rescue of my sorry ass from the ocean, I took out the iPaw and touched the side as Keke had. It enlarged seemingly at my command, and I pushed the [Home] icon. A new block of text appeared on the screen that I hadn’t seen before. I had a feeling that things would be new to me for a while.
New notifications!
I pressed the square, and a list replaced the announcement.

Matt has gained: 1 Level of Swimming!
More like a level of drowning, I thought bitterly.
Matt has gained: 1 Level of Charisma!
Matt has befriended: Keke!

Keke has gained: 1 Point of Strength!
Well, that was interesting. So the girls could level up, too. I made a mental note.
Matt has encountered: Cannoli!
Warning! Matt’s Energy is low! Find a safe place to rest!
I extended my arm on the table and leaned my head on my bicep. I didn’t want to sleep yet, but the iPaw telling me how tired I was seemed to compound how exhausted I actually felt.
“Are you okay?” Cannoli bent her knees, bringing her face level with mine. Everything about her was so soft—her skin, her voice, her hair. Keke seemed to have a little more edge to her while Cannoli was so sweet.
“Yeah. Just a little tired, that’s all.” I wanted to memorize their faces and bodies and voices. Surely I was going to wake up and find that this was all a dream. God, don’t let it be a dream.
“You can sleep here if you like,” Keke suggested, putting a hand on her hip.
“I, um, I have room at my place next door, too.” Cannoli nervously toyed with a section of her hair.
“He’s already here, Cannoli. We shouldn’t make him move.”
“But maybe he needs a gentle hand to make him feel better,” Cannoli quipped lightly.
Were they really arguing over this? “I can sleep outside if that’s easier on both of you.”
“No!” they shouted in unison.
“Okay.” I crossed both arms on the table and readjusted my head on top like a pillow.
They were still bickering when I fell asleep.

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