《Everyone's a Catgirl!》Chapter 27: Feel the Pinch
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I’d never visited China before in my life. The closest I’d been to the culture was conventions and eating the cheap Chinese food in those hole-in-the-wall restaurants. But as far as anything truly authentic and Chinese? Nah, didn’t have any experience.
However, if I had to pin a place against how I imagined China in person, it’d be Shulan.
For a moment, pricks of panic raised the hairs on the back of my neck as the cute guards at the gate leaned in to ask Ravyn a question. I thought they were going to tell us that we needed some kind of passport. There was nowhere else to go but camping, and I was dying to sleep in a real bed again.
But it turned out that getting into Shulan was the easy part. Ravyn pointed to me, and they nodded.
“It’s custom for travelers to carry a passport,” one explained. “Or a good enough reason to enter the city proper.”
Apparently, the “good enough reason” was decided on by whoever was on duty at that point. They didn’t want just any person walking in, I suppose. But, also according to them, men and their companions were free to come and go as they pleased. The entire situation made me a little uncomfortable.
However, all discomfort was wiped away within moments of arriving.
When we passed through the entrance and reached the main district, there were two things that immediately seized my attention. First, the incredible aromas that hung in the air. Second, the obscene amount of catgirls—the majority of which wore colorful silks that hugged their feminine forms. Their swaying tails kept my attention for some time, many of them waving excitedly to me as we passed through. Ni Island had me feeling like a celebrity, but here I felt like acquaintances and friends of mine were beckoning me further inside.
The sun was setting, bathing the entire city in an orange glow. Under this lighting, Shulan appeared enchanted. I couldn’t imagine a more remarkable place so full of culture and wonder.
And catgirls.
“Shulan houses the finest spellcasters in all of Nyarlea,” Ravyn said as if reading my mind. She cast a nasty glare in the direction of two children who were playing some form of tag. One of them ran behind Ravyn’s leg and stuck out their tongue.
The sight brought a smile to my face, and the thought of corralling one of my own crossed my mind for a short time—which was weird. I’d never thought about having kids before.
Ravyn broke the small fantasy by grabbing hold of the child’s collar and holding out her other hand.
Cannoli gasped.
Ravyn turned her glare on Cannoli. “Don’t let this one fool you.”
“Pshh!” The spunky brunette kitten turned out her pockets and handed Ravyn back her [Cat Pack]. “Can I go now?”
“Get lost.” Ravyn let the girl go with a shove and watched her run the length of the street. “Shulan also gives birth to some of the most manipulative pickpockets around.” Ravyn’s heels clicked upon the cobblestone as she approached a nearby merchant stall, the rest of us frozen in surprise by what had just happened. “Watch yourself. And don’t leave [Combat Mode].”
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“Noted,” said Keke.
“Scum and villainy! Scum and villainy!” cried Ball.
Just as the words left Ball’s beak, a thick arm swung around my shoulders and pulled me in a side hug. I jumped in surprise, reaching for the axe strapped to my back. Instead, I gripped the armored forearm of my attacker.
“My apologies, I did not mean to startle you, friend Matt!” a familiar voice boomed over the din of the crowd.
Shit, seriously? Was that your name Ball was calling? I dropped my arm. “Cailu? I thought you were still at the Port of Meow?”
Cailu laughed and swatted my back. It was probably meant as a friendly pat, but it knocked the wind out of my chest. “I decided to come home yesterday! Certain, er, financial matters required my immediate return.”
Good job, Portia.
“What do you want, Cailu?” Ravyn had spun on her heel, gifting the elf with a furious gaze.
“It is simple serendipity, dear Ravyn, that I should run into my new friend in Shulan! I am positive you would benefit from a benevolent patron, hm?” Cailu plunged one hand into his [Cat Pack], tugging free a sack of jingling Bells. “Please, purchase a piece of decent gear for yourself. It is imperative that you stay alive.”
I glanced at Cailu’s hand, then back to his sharp grin. What the hell? “I don’t want your money.”
“Of course you do! Do not act foolishly, Matt. You wish to protect your girls, do you not? Allow me to assist you.”
“I said no, man.” I swatted his hand away.
The immediate cold kiss of steel hovered against my throat, and a foreign hand gripped my shoulder. I gasped. Keke’s bow was out with an arrow at the ready, Cannoli’s staff drawn, and Ravyn turned to Cailu.
Ball screamed, “Assassino! Assassino!”
A few girls passing by glanced our way before hurrying off as if they hadn’t seen anything.
“Call off your bitch, Cailu,” Ravyn growled.
Cailu laughed. “Oh, goodness me. Naeemah can be a bit jumpy at times. He is a friend, Naeemah.” He waved his hand, and the pressure of the knife disappeared.
“Of course, Master.” A tall, lithe catgirl with rich brown skin and jet-black hair tied away from her face stepped to the side. Serpentine green eyes pierced into my soul. The lower half of her face was covered by a black mask—a theme echoed throughout her combat attire. An assassin?
I tried to hide my quickened breathing and racing heartbeat. She’d scared the shit out of me, but I didn’t want Cailu to notice. Then again, what the hell are you supposed to say after that? I stared at him in silence.
“Touch him again, and I’ll put an arrow through your pretty face,” Keke snarled at Naeemah, drawing the string of her bow.
Cannoli danced from one foot to the next as if ready to pounce. Ravyn remained next to her, arms crossed over her chest.
Cailu chuckled again. He took my hand and plopped the package of Bells in my palm. “I will be in town if you change your mind. I would be happy to guide you through Nyarlea, my friend.”
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“Yeah. Sure.” I pocketed the Bells. “Maybe next time, don’t be prepared to kill me.”
Cailu waved a dismissive hand. “You must forgive her. It is her nature. Come, Naeemah.”
Naeemah gave our group a quick bow, glittering eyes resting on Keke’s readied arrow before she followed Cailu. They disappeared into the crowd.
Keke lowered her weapon and replaced the arrow in her quiver. She exhaled a deep sigh, and Cannoli clung to her arm.
“That was so scary!” Cannoli squeaked.
“Naeemah’s been with him a long time,” Ravyn explained. “But she won’t act without his permission. Like a pet.”
“Fingers crossed we can put them both out of our minds for good,” I said, running a hand through my hair. I didn’t need a mentor, or benefactor, or whatever the hell he was offering. The girls were doing just fine. “So, where to?”
“Hmm, yes. I think I could use one of those,” Ravyn murmured, tapping a finger to her lips. She wandered in the opposite direction of Cailu, picking out a merchant stall off to the corner.
“She’s already in her own world again.” Keke put her hands on her hips. Her eyes narrowed, and her lips drew a thin line across her face. “Ravyn, are we here to shop, or are we here to teach Matt how to best use spices?”
“Both.” Ravyn turned her head toward us for a moment, smiled, then looked back to the shopkeep.
“There’s your answer,” I said, sighing. As we waited for Ravyn to finish, I leaned against a nearby wall and observed the hustle and bustle of Shulan.
Pagodas of varying shapes and sizes lined the streets with glimmering lantern lights and brightly-colored tapestries and signs. The tallest buildings seemed dozens of stories high, to the point that it hurt my neck to keep searching for the top. Catgirls with short hair, long hair, bushy tails, modest tails, and everything you could imagine in between were shopping, talking about the latest trends, and communing with their friends. In a way, it reminded me of the downtown metropolitan areas of my previous world.
Except this one is actually nice to look at.
“Okay, I’m done.” Ravyn had returned from the stall with a stunning piece of jewelry around her neck. A golden pendant with multiple points encasing glittering crystals surrounded a blood-red gem. I figured it was supposed to represent the sun, but to me, it looked more like a snowflake with its tapered ends and intricate decorations between them. “What do you think?”
“Nice rock,” I said while working out the cricks in my neck. “Little gaudy, though. Is that a ruby?”
“Hmm, so you know of gemstones.”
The way she phrased her words made it sound like it was surprising that I knew. More surprising was how such a similar rock had somehow maintained the same name it had in my old world.
“It’s so pretty!” Cannoli said, clasping her hands together. Cannoli approached Ravyn without care and cradled the finely shaped pendant in her palm. “How much was it?”
Ravyn removed Cannoli’s hand and cleared her throat. “Not important. What is important is how it looks between these beauties.” Ravyn emphasized her statement by thrusting her forearms beneath her chest and propping her breasts up. “What do you think, Matt? Do you approve? It’s important to get a man’s perspective.”
“U-um,” Cannoli stammered.
I scratched the back of my head nervously and turned my head away, glancing back and forth between the crowds and her bust. “Still gaudy.”
“What a dishonest boy.”
“Hey, if you’re done, can we get back to the task at hand?” Keke said, tapping her foot against the ground. “We’re looking for Experience, Bells, and your shopping list, right? Let’s move on.”
“Hah? And who do you think got you here? Who’s going to be your guide! Baka!” Ravyn narrowed one eye and rested a hand on her hip. For some reason, I pictured her as a yakuza boss talking down to one of her underlings.
“Are you trying to pick a fight?” Keke spat, her hands balling into fists. “Come on, then. I’m itching.”
“Hahaha! Oh, please. You never stood a chance against Naeemah, and I’m not going to pick a fight with a Level 4. That’d be like setting a kitten on fire.”
Keke audibly ground her teeth.
I decided it was time to step in. “Whoa, whoa, what’s going on here?” I said as I stood between the two girls. “What’s gotten into you?”
Keke clicked her tongue. “Ask her.”
“No. Ask her. I insist,” Ravyn retorted.
“Don’t fight!” pleaded Cannoli. “We’re friends, right? Let’s just relax, take a deep breath, and keep our minds on what needs to be done.” Cannoli reached out and grabbed a hand from Keke and Ravyn, interlocking them together. “There! Friends. Make up, please!” The last part sounded more like a demand than a plea.
The two withdrew their hands, each of them folding their arms and turning away. It was comical in a way, albeit aggravating.
“Please, just listen to Cannoli. I really want to learn as much as I can about [Energy] spices and Shulan. Everything you want to teach me. And I want to leave before I get my throat cut. Can we just set this aside?” I asked.
There was a pause. Then Ravyn turned around, her violet eyes digging into my skull. “Fine. Follow me.” Ravyn’s shoes clicked through the streets, and a frustrated Keke followed in silent protest.
“Thanks, Cannoli,” I whispered.
“Any time, Matt.” She beamed.
New Notifications!
Matt has gained: 200 Bells!

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