Memories of that day he was rescued by Maya flooded as Dalton opened his eyes. He remembered Malcolm’s betrayal, the potion master’s craziness, and the PTO that was promised but never given.

His mind was still hazy but he was overflowing with anger, that it took several minutes to realize that he was not in his bedroom, but in a den that was outfitted as a lab. At least he thought it was a lab. There were many different colored vials on the table that bubbled and went through different tubes.

“Had a nightmare, I suppose?”

It was a noble voice and Dalton scanned the room, finding a goblin even bigger than the Goblin General reading a book in his large hands. He pushed the spectacles up the bridge of his nose, as he folded the corner of the page he was on and closed the book.

“Oh.” Dalton felt his heart drop. “You’re the Goblin King.”

“I am.” He stood up, dropping the book on his armchair. “I must say, you and your friends sure made a ruckus. Throwing pheromones in the den. You might as well have thrown a juicy steak in a dog ring.”

“I see.” Dalton stood still, unsure of what to do.

“Are you worried about your friend. Let me reassure you that your friend is not dead. Though, I took his gun away. He was causing too much destruction with it.” The King motioned to the only rifle that could kill him.

“No, I would never think that.” Dalton gave a very uncomfortable laugh as he stared at the rifle and swallowed.

“You’re very kind to care about your friend. I told my goblins that they shall not be harmed. I know one of your friends has been locked up and has been married off.” He trailed off, looking saddened. “I’m sorry about that.”

If it was Ozul, Dalton was not.

“Is that so. That is sad indeed. So, can I just leave then?” Dalton asked unsure of the situation.

The Goblin King smiled sadly and shook his head. “I am sorry, but I will be killing you.”

“Excuse me?”

The Goblin King motioned at the armchairs in the corner of the room, speaking very politely. “Please sit. I would like to tell you my life story, the person I’m going to murder soon.”

Dalton dashed off but found a wall behind him. He turned, searching for an exit, but he found no door or exit in this room. The Goblin King was sitting on the armchair and motioned for him to sit down too.

“Please sit. I would advise you listen. I have an obligation to tell you why I plan to murder you.”

“Where is the exit?” Dalton demanded.

The goblin pointed up. Dalton followed seeing a giant hole in the ceiling. The side of the hole was smooth like marble. There was no way to climb up.

“So, you can see, that you have no exit here, and like I said, I mean no harm to you right now. Instead, you should sit down. It’s better than wasting your energy on trying to escape an impossible room.”

He didn’t like it, but he was right. If he could not escape, he might as well sate his curiosity. Dalton walked to the armchair across the Goblin King and sat down.

“Alright.” Dalton crossed his legs. “Why?”

“To explain that question, I must give you this book.” He handed him a thin book.

Dalton looked at the cover.

That Time the Goblin King got Reincarnated as a Priestess.

“It’s a book I wrote.” The Goblin King explained. He placed a hand on his chest, his voice grew nostalgic. “It’s been a dream of mine for a long time. I’ve always wanted to be a Priestess. A Priestess that purified the wicked and protected the weak.”

“O-okay.” Dalton flipped through the pages. The drawings were…pretty bad. It looked like something a kid drew with crayons.

“As you can see, the quality isn’t great for the first book.” He sighed. “I drew it with human blood after all.”

The book dropped out of Dalton’s hand. “You don’t say.” He did not like that at all.

“When I was a small goblin a few months ago, I trained hard because that’s what the Truck Drivers demanded that I do. And I grew strong and fought for in their Goblin Fighting League where I became the champion in a matter of days.” His face twisted in pain. “But because of that, the Truck Drivers told me to mate with women to make stronger goblins, and I did. But I started to feel sex was meaningless, and I soon realized one thing as I grew older. That…only pure women could be Priestess.”

None of what this goblin said made sense, but Dalton nodded, intent on staling until he could think of a plan to get out. One thing did make sense, he wanted to be a Priestess, that might be something he could arrange for.

“I’m an Agent for the Bureau. I could request you get Isekai’d as a Priestess,” Dalton said.

The Goblin King shook his head sadly. “That’s impossible. I know how the Bureau works. It’s a corrupt place. They require money. Something which I do possess. However, it seems I gained the interest of a Star Witch.”

“A Star Witch.” Dalton could feel the color drain on his face. His thoughts went to Maya. “You don’t say. Could you tell me more?”

The Goblin King shifted his weight in the armchair. “I took a course. A very expensive course. I was taught things that many people could only dream to know.”

From the newly unfrozen parts of his memories, Dalton was getting the sense of déjà vu here. He continued to listen to the Goblin King.

“From her teaching, I learned that if I want to be isekai’d I must sacrifice the blood of a virgin. They are overflowing with mana like you.”

“I’m not a virgin!” Dalton exploded.

“It’s alright.” The Goblin King held up a hand. “I know you are. After all that cursed tie you wear is given to hapless fools who anger a Star Witch.” He leaned in giving a great grin. “You know a Star Witch don’t you?”

“I…” He placed a hand on his head. He couldn’t think clearly. Pain like sharp knives pricked at the back of his skull. The tie around his neck felt even tighter. His nails picked at the knot.

And then he remembered. The tie…would protect him.

“Oh, if you’re taking the tie off, that would be swell.” The Goblin King beamed. “That is what is protecting you after all.”

“I-”

“Even though it’s cursed, it protects you gravely.” The Goblin King frowned. “It grants some level of protection but also gives disaster to all who approach you with the intent to seduce you.”

He was kind of right, but it was all those that bring him harm-

Then it hit him.

Dalton turned away from him. “Wh-what were you trying to do while I was asleep?”

“I was trying to have sex with you.” The Goblin King said straight forth. “But every time I was about to pull off your pants, something always stopped me.”

Dalton let that soak in his mind for a long minute. Then, he jumped out of the armchair like a scared rabbit.

The Goblin King sighed. “It’s not going to change anything. You can’t climb out, and I don’t plan to seduce you any long…”

Dalton didn’t plan to escape. Instead, he grabbed Malcolm’s favorite rifle and aimed it squarely at the Goblin King.

He was holding an odd vial with glowing white liquid. “Come on, put that down, Dalton. There are no bullets in there. I emptied it. Now come here and let me use this purity battery on you so I can drain your virgin energy and use you to leapfrog into a Saintess.”

Dalton pulled the trigger anyways.

A roaring light was birthed from the barrel.

The room shook, lifting the floor beneath him. Vials crashed on the floor, rocks smashed upon each other, and when the room grew dimmer, Dalton saw a giant hole where the Goblin King had once been.

An exit from this place.

Dalton slung the rifle over his back and climbed over the hole. Outside of the lab was a network of tunnels. He wasn’t sure where to go from here, but it was better than staying in a lab with a Goblin King that wanted to become a Priestess.

“Wow, that was extreme.”

A prick of fear crawled up Dalton’s neck. He turned to his left to see the Goblin King walking out of one of the tunnels. His hair was singed, and some of his skin on his chest was missing where the bullet had hit. Still, he stood practically unharmed.

“And here I thought you were a noble soul.”

“Not noble enough to die so you can get reincarnated as a Priestess.” Dalton aimed the rifle at the Goblin King and pulled the trigger.

It was empty.

“I guess I must have forgotten to get rid of the one in the chamber.” The Goblin King mumbled.

Dalton took a step back. “You still can’t harm me. I have this tie-”

He tossed white liquid on him, and the tie snapped off.

Sweat poured down Dalton’s face. “Like I was saying, let’s not resort to using violence.”

“That was you.” The Goblin King said. “You used violence, and here I thought I was going to let you read my doujinshi before I kill you.”

“That would have been torture.” Dalton remarked.

“Terrible. You’re a terrible human. I don’t think I will regret killing you now.”

Dalton dodged the Goblin King’s swipe and ran to the furthest tunnel to the right.

“That’s a dead end.” He heard the Goblin King’s voice call from behind him. “I just wanted to let you know that, before I murder you.”