《Big Red Button.》The... Erm... (counts tally marks)
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You push the button.
Ding.
The table and bowls are gone. You don’t feel anything being teleported out of your stomach, and you aren’t hungry, so we can presume the soup you ate is all yours.
Congratulations, one less thing to worry about.
One more thing to worry about, though, is the giant black fuzzy thing making its way towards you.
You push the button.
Ding.
Yeah, that was to be expected.
The fuzzy thing is gone, replaced with a basket of roses. Awww how nice!
You push the button again.
Ding.
Well, the roses are gone, and now there’s a-
Ding.
...The tubes of tiny-
Ding.
Well now you’r-
Ding.
Would you mi-
Ding.
I was-
Ding.
I-
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
Dong.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
WOULD YOU STOP!!!!
Ding.
I’M SERIOUS HERE, CUT IT OUT!
Ding.
WE’RE TRYING TO DO SERIOUS-
Ding.
-EXPERIMENTS HERE!
Ding.
SO STOP!!!
Ding.
Ding.
Dong.
Ding.
Ding.
Ding.
…
…
ARE YOU QUITE DONE.
…
Thank you.
Sheesh.
Ding.
You did that just to annoy me, didn’t you?
Admit it!
Argh.
Ok.
So.
The room is now lined with brown fur.
Yes, the whole room. Even the button is now slightly fuzzy.
After some feeling and smelling around, you decide that it’s faux fur. It has that slightly plastic-y feel to it, and doesn’t smell like bear.
It does make the room darker, though.
And warmer, strangely.
It’s nice and fuzzy. If you wanted to curl up for a nap I wouldn’t blame you.
In fact, I encourage you to take a nap. It would give me time to order and eat a pizza.
No, I wouldn’t leave.
The instant I leave I know you’d just push that button a million more times, trying to break it or something.
Well believe me, it can’t break. People have tried. They all failed.
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Except for this one dude who had a battle ax teleported into their room. Hah, that was a great day.
No, we aren’t going to give you a battle ax. We’ve learned our lesson.
You get comfy in the corner and close your eyes.
I order a pizza. Hawaiian. With cheesy bread. And root beer, since they’re having a sale.
You don’t fall asleep, but my pizza arrives.
I’m only on my second slice when you give up on napping and get up.
DO YOU PRESS THE BUTTON? Yes Yes
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