Therapy session 126

Interview Transcript Excerpt

Dr Lunetta: The date is Wednesday the 22nd of March 2055. I’m here today with the lovely Cadell. We don’t have a therapy session scheduled for today. What brings you here?

Cadell: I need a listener.

Dr Lunetta: Really? This is new. I mean, this is brilliant to hear but I must say, this is out of character for you.

Cadell: I’m going to say something cool, you see, and I need someone to hear me and nod with approval rather than suggest I should slaughter everyone around me. Do you feel me?

Dr Lunetta: Um. Not really but please continue.

Cadell: I realised the journal just doesn’t cut it if I’m going to declare something awesome. I would tell my only friend Elijah but he’s busy at work. So here I am. [7 second silence]

Dr Lunetta: Cadell?

Cadell: I’m overpowered. In this world, doc, I’m overpowered. Something out of a comic book. In every city of every country of every continent, people walk around the streets and live normal lives with normal clothes. If they’re children, maybe they go to school before procrastinating on their homework. If they’re adults, maybe they go to work and do what they can to put food on the table. And then there’s me. My eyes glow purple. I can create portals. I have super strength. I can create a strange material out of thin air. I could travel across dimensions if I wanted. I swear it.

Dr Lunetta: What are you getting at?

Cadell: I thought to myself. Is this how you’re gonna be done? Really bro? Only superhero in this world, cold blooded murderer, and you gonna count yourself out because of a phobia? Because of a bloody knife? I thought to myself, this story is garbage.

Dr Lunetta: Story?

Cadell: If my life was a story, if someone was stupid enough to write a story like this, this story would be garbage! A phobia? Are you kidding me? I have all these powers and this is the thing that does me in?

Dr lunetta: Phobias aren’t a joke Cadell. Taking into account your past, I think it's a worthy adversary for someone of your nature.

Cadell: Doctor.

Dr Lunetta: Yes?

Cadell: You’re a very wise woman. You’ve helped me get through some very hard times. But listen to me when I tell you this and listen closely. That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say in my entire life.

Dr Lunetta: *gasps* Oh my.

Cadell: If you were a criminal and you said that to me, we’d be going skydiving ten times over. I wouldn’t even hesitate.

Dr Lunetta: Oh my, oh my.

Cadell: Vampires. Interdimensional dragons. Purple fluffy rabbits with lasers shooting out of their asses. Literally anything is better than this insufferable phobia. But I digress. I’m overpowered and I can’t just be sitting here twiddling my thumbs like I can’t be throwing cake projectiles.

Dr Lunetta: Oh, I saw that on YouTube. That was very funny.

Cadell: I know right? I wish all that chocolate didn’t go to waste though. It looked very scrumptious. I sometimes regret throwing it to this day.

Dr Lunetta: I love your determination, Cadell, but what are you going to do differently? Do you at least have a plan?

Cadell: Of course!

Dr Lunetta: Okay.

Cadell: That’s a lie. But I do have a little theory. It’s been 5 years since I’ve created Delirium. I never needed the element because, like I said, I’m overpowered. Could that have linked to the phobia somehow?

Dr Lunetta: The Delirium knife was what killed your parents so, yes, it’s possible. If you could create that weapon again and somehow resist the fear, you might be able to conquer the phobia as I’m pretty sure that weapon is the source.

Cadell: See? That’s the solution!

Dr Lunetta: It’s just a guess and I’m extremely uncertain. I could easily be wrong.

Cadell: Naaaah. When have you been wrong?

Dr Lunetta: About 50 seconds ago when you said to me and I quote, ‘That is the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard you say in my entire life?’

Cadell: I don’t remember saying that.

Dr Lunetta: Right.

Cadell: This will be easy as pie. Nothing to w-worry about. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got bad guys to take to the skies so they can choke on flies. I just wanted that to rhyme but they do actually choke on flies. It’s always nice to see. I’ve missed that.