Cadell’s eyes glowed with excitement. “Have you memorised the lines yet?”

Hazel giggled. “Yes, yes. Let’s do it.”

“Okay….Three, two, one..”

“Honey?” Hazel yelled

“What?” Cadell yelled back.

“Where’s my super suit?”

“What?”

“WHERE IS MY SUPER SUIT?”

“I, uh, put it away!”

“Where?”

“Why do you need to know?”

“I need it!”

“Uh-uh! Don't you think about running off doing no derring-do!” Hazel’s intonation was so good that it almost made Cadell break out of character. “We've been planning this dinner for two months! The public is in danger!”

“My evening’s in danger!”

“YOU TELL ME WHERE MY SUIT IS, WOMAN! We are talking about the greater good!”

“Greater good?' I am your wife! I'm the greatest good you are ever gonna get!”

For a split second, Cadell and Hazel stared at each other with blank faces in Psycho Asylum. It was an immaculate performance by both of them. They were both the type to shine when it really counted and rehearsing a comical scene from the Incredibles was apparently one of those moments where it counted.

They burst into laughter and repeated the script once more and then laughed again.

“What now?” Hazel asked. “Should we go over it again or…”

“No, no. I’m satisfied for now. You seriously haven’t seen the film?”

Hazell shook her head, and her face turned solemn. “Come on, let’s go. We have work to do.”

“We? I’ll be going alone I’m afraid.”

Before Hazel could yell, he raised a hand for silence. “We need a bit of space for a while. I’m sick of you now, no offense. More importantly, you need a new super suit before you go out. That was one of the conditions, remember?”

Hazel grumbled something back Cadell couldn’t quite catch, but he heard the word “men” and “dumbass”.

“What was that?”

“What if you get stabbed?”

“I won’t.”

“How can you be so sure? Last time I saved you!”

Cadell kissed his teeth. “You’re still going on about that? That was ages ago.”

“It was yesterday.”

“Meet my best friend, Elijah.” A body dropped out of a portal and slammed between the vigilantes.

Elijah tucked into a ball, groaning. “Ow... My knee… Why? I told you to stop that shit.”

Hazel helped him up. “If it makes you feel any better, he did that to me too.”

“Apologies bro, but she needs a new super suit,” Cadell said. Can you handle it?”

Elijah rose to his feet. His eyes widened upon seeing Hazel. “Uh, yeah, sure. Just give me a day tops.”

“Perfect.”

Cadell’s journal.

Dear knife phobia,

Please would you kindly fuck off.

Yours sincerely,

Psycho the Superhero

The more Cadell portalled around the city, the more excited he became at the prospect of working with a partner. He couldn’t count the amount of times he wanted to be in two places at the same time. With the portals and creativity, he could cleanse crime more efficiently and they could even pull off some neat tricks.

Yes, just think of the combos, boy, the voice boomed. The sweet, beautiful combos while murdering countless civilians and leaving mangled corpses littered on the streets.

You had me in the first half, not gonna lie.

The superhero landed on a moving van and analysed a detailed visual hallucination, a burst of muddy colours on nearby roads and buildings. It was typically an indicator of close human stimuli though traces of strong emotions or temperaments could be hidden inside.

Cadell looked left, sniffed, then looked right.

The complex hallucination altered and one thick trail of dark blue rose up into the sky.

Cadell grimaced as the Voice ceased it’s usual murderous rant.

“Shantel, zoom in holographic display.”

“Sure thing, Psycho.”

It looks like a firework. Wait, no…

Cadell shook his head, not believing what he just saw. He leaped into a portal and suddenly he was five metres below not a firework, but a screaming, very terrified human, and human had to be the noun used rather than specifying gender because whether or not the person was male or female was unknown.

They were completely engulfed in blue flames.

“Ay!” Cadell yelled. He created a continuous chain of portals to boost himself up, struggling to keep up with the flaming victim. “What happened? Are you okay?”

He’s a flying burnt toast, boy. Of course he’s not okay.

The Voice had a point. Inside the ball of fire was only a charcoal body rolling and twisting in agony.

“How did this happen to you?” Cadell yelled. Immediately, he felt stupid. There wasn’t going to be a response. There was no point.

Or so he thought...

“I’m motherfucking Crazed!” the human screamed. “I’m flying, I have superpowers, and this is what it means to be alive!”

They disintegrated into ashes.