《I never expected the hardest days to be the ones where I wear a skirt》2.8 - The Exchange Student
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Zach had come home to a lukewarm meal, which, according to his father, was still hot enough to eat, so there would be no electricity wasted on turning on the microwave. As such, Zach was carefully combining bites of still lukewarm mashed potatoes with his cold peas, making sure to eat as quick as he could and still get some hot food in his mouth.
His late arrival was very much to the annoyance of his siblings. Mrs Brooks had a rule that was quite simply, ‘Nobody leaves the table until everyone has finished eating’. Between the hospital calling her in, Sawyer rushing off to his job, or Lucy’s mother coming to pick her up, it was broken three times a week at least.
Today, the culprit was the telephone.
Tara checked the clock and, before anyone could say anything, she had gotten to her feet, rushing to the living room, “It’s for me! That’s Lucy!”
Mrs Brooks was about to tell her off, but Tara kept talking as she rushed to answer the phone.
“She’d call after dinner,” she said, “She promised, and Zach made me late.”
“She has a point, dear,” Mister Brooks supplied, then turned the conversation back to the one they were having, remodeling the upstairs bathroom.
“I don’t like having the bath behind the walk-in,” Mrs Brooks continued her litany of complaints. Zach didn’t listen. Instead, he was following the sounds from the living room, surprised he couldn’t hear his sister. Normally she’d be yelling about her day, but all he could hear were some frantic whispers, then a suspiciously loud ‘bye!’.
The others didn’t seem to notice. Mister and Mrs Brooks were too caught up in their conversation and Sawyer was flicking through a car magazine.
“That was fast,” Zach said to Tara when she came back to the kitchen.
“Unlike you,” Tara shot back. She was about to sit down again when the phone range once again.
“I’ll get it,” she said and was back to the living room lightning fast.
“There’s a phone right here…?” Zach observed, continuing to scarf down his food in the feint hope of still getting something warm in his mouth.
“Zach!” Tara’s voice came from the living room, “It’s for you!”
He put his fork down and got up, yelling to her that he’d answer it in the kitchen.
“Dawn?” was his guess when he picked up.
“Close to sunset, my man! This is sweet Sammy, calling about your videos!”
Zach heard a girlish giggle interlace the man’s words.
“One moment,” he said to the man calling and pulled the phone away from his mouth to yell at Tara.
“Get off the phone, you….”
“Eavesdropper,” Mrs Brooks filled in before Zach could go for a more choice insult.
“I ain’t been dropping no eaves, sir, honest!” Tara said, returning to the kitchen and plopping back down in her seat.
“Don’t say ‘ain’t’,” Mrs Brooks interrupted her conversation, before proceeding to suggesting colors for the bathroom. Pastel green for one wall and a pink for the other.
“It’s from Lord of the Rings,” Tara threw back when she saw a gap, “It’s literature…”
“Sure, princess,” Mister Brooks dismissed her, starting about gold plated faucets.
With Sawyer distracted by his magazine, Tara pouting and parents with their head in the world of renovations, Zach dared to have the conversation in the kitchen.
“You wouldn’t be here…” Zach started.
“I wouldn’t,” Sweet Sammy interrupted, “But I am here now, Zachy Boy, so if you could come pick up your videos that’d be one worry off my mind.”
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“I’m still having dinner, sir…”
“Well, you get your veggies down, growing boy, then come down to Bird Videos, I’ll be here a little longer.”
“As quick as I can, sir,” Zach confirmed, wished him a nice evening, then hung up the phone and returned to shoveling down his food.
“Who was that, son?”
“Just a guy that’s selling me some karate videos.”
“You’re not done with that nonsense yet? Well, good on you for sticking with something, son.”
“Of course he’s sticking with the Japanese stuff,” Tara teased, “He wants to impress the Japanese girl.”
Zach continued to eat, ignoring his sister.
“Need a ride?” Sawyer asked.
“No thanks,” Zach said through a mouthful, “It’s just to the video store.”
Barely a minute later Zach’s plate was clean and his siblings looked relieved that they were free to do their own thing again.
“Don’t take too long,” Mrs Brooks said sternly as Zach excused himself, “It’s your turn to do the dishes.”
“Sure, mom,” Zach muttered, made sure to grab a jacket in case it rained again, then rushed to the garage to get his bicycle.
Twenty minutes later, he tossed the bike against one of the planters and headed for the store.
“You are early,” Yuki observed. She was sitting on the edge of another planted and was very intently studying a brown lollipop, “Are you going to sit here for two days?”
Zach shook his head, “No. I’m here to pick up a couple of videos. … Found out how many licks yet?”
It was her turn to shake her head, then put the lollipop in her mouth again, before taking it out almost in the same motion, “Say, Zach… You’re here for videos?”
“It’s a video store?”
“Okay, but you want videos when Mister Sweet is here…”
“Who?”
“He brings the adult videos,” then teasingly added, “Oh dear, Zach, you are too young for that.”
“That’s not what I’m here for…” Zach sighed, “I’m looking for Sweet Sammy.”
“Mister Sweet,” Yuki confirmed, “He’s inside.”
She used her lollipop to point out a bright pink Cadillac that looked very out of place in the half-abandoned strip mall’s parking lot, “That’s his car.”
Zach had to admit it’s what he imagined a local porn king to drive.
“So he’s inside?” he asked, heading for the door of Bird Videos.
Yuki nodded, made sure to look away from Zach, then put the lollipop back in her mouth.
Zach opened the door and stood face to face with Mister O’Donnell and the man known as Sweet Sammy.
For most people, the seventies were over and disco was dead. Either Sweet Sammy hadn’t gotten the memo or had simply decided to ignore it. He still wore bright yellow flared pants, a shirt with a very obnoxious flower pattern, popped open to let out his curly chest hair which was only overshadowed by an impressive jewfro that currently held up a pair of star shaped sunglasses.
Zach didn’t get the chance to observe for long however.
“We’re closed,” O'Donnell snapped, “Especially to minors. Out!”
“Ah… Okay,” Zach said, stepped back and closed the door behind him.
Yuki giggled.
“You could’ve warned me.”
“This was more funny.”
“Har har. You working?”
“Not at the moment, as you can see,” she said, then looked over her shoulder to the store, “I am minor.”
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Zach sat down on the planter across from her, “Don’t you see them when the customers rent them anyway?
“Sometimes,” she laughed, “But most people for mister O’Donnell to rent those. Nobody wants to show adult videos to a little girl.”
“Fair, I guess.”
It was quiet for a moment, interrupted only by the occasional sound of Yuki taking the lollipop from her mouth to check how far along it was.
“Sooo,” Zach said, uncomfortably aware of the silence, “How are you liking America?”
“Boring so far,” Yuki said, “Osaka is more alive.”
“Osaka?”
“My city. Where I am from.”
“Ah… Nice place?”
“I would say so, but I have bias. Maybe you visit one day.”
“Japan? Yeah, right…”
“Why not?”
“Really far isn’t it?”
“But I am here and that is the same distance.”
Zach shut up. She had a point.
“Hey, Zach. Do you know everybody in town? “
“Not everyone, but most I think?”
“Chelsea Bichler?”
“Yeah, she’s in my class. Or our class I suppose.”
“Do you know where she buys clothes? They are so pretty…”
“She makes them.”
“Kidding?”
“Nope. Chelsea is always making clothes. Likes to show off. Queen of home-EC.”
“And him. Do you know him?”
Yuki pointed to a long-haired boy that was scratching his head as he studied the engine of his van.
“I do.”
“Yo do not want to help him?”
“I’m not exactly friends with Ladyshave.”
“Ladyshave. Not Razor?”
“You’ve met him?”
“He asked if I wanted to buy weeds.”
“Weed,” Zach corrected, putting his fingers to his mouth in a V-shape, pretending to smoke.
“Oh,” Yuki said, making a face.
“What did you say to him?”
“I said I do not have a garden.”
Zach chuckled.
“Do not laugh!” she called, trying to sound offended, but she couldn’t help but giggle along.
“You have to admit that’s funny, Yuki.”
“Maybe, but… Tell me, why Ladyshave? Why not Razor?”
Zach was silent for a moment, wondering if he should tell Yuki, then shrugged. The worst Razor could do was hit him and the guy’s bark was a lot worse than his bite.
“Well, when we were in the last year of grade school… He started telling everyone he got his first pubes.”
“What is pubes?”
“Hair,” Zach said, turning slightly red, then moving his hand around his groin, “Hair here.”
Comprehension dawned on Yuki’s face and she waited for Zach to go on.
“So, he was really proud of these pubes. First guy in class to get them and he wanted to show everyone, but Raymondson, you’ve probably seen his green pickup around, Raymond just says ‘ew’ when Ladyshave shows him his junk.”
Zach waited for Yuki to process this before continuing.
“So, What Ladyshave, his real name is Jake by the way, what Ladyshave thinks is that Raymondson means that his pubes are gross.”
“A...ha.”
“Anyway, the next time we have PE, first period, he was there before the rest of the class… Shaving his balls in the shower, with his mom’s bright pink ladyshave. That’s where he got the name.”
Yuki looked incredulous, “Not his father’s razor?”
“His dad isn’t around, probably why he used to do weird shit like that.”
“He does not do strange things now?”
“Just sells pot. Hangs out in that gross van by the river.”
Yuki nodded, then gave Razor a pitying look, “He has no friends?”
“He hangs out with Penny Phillips. She’s a wild girl with a dirt bike. Probably in Canada with her family at the moment, so I don’t think you’ve seen her yet.”
Zach went on telling Yuki about her future classmates until they heard the chime to the video store and Sweet Sammy left.
“You can go back in, Muchacha,” he said to Yuki, then pointed an accusing finger to Zach.
“You, my man, must be Zach, man with the Mack, Brooks.
Zach wasn’t sure how to respond to the statement, so simply nodded.
“I have your videos in the pussy crui...the car.”
“Can I see?” Yuki asked, then teasingly added, “I want to see what kind of girls you like.”
“My choicest wares aren’t for kids,” Sammy said, strutting to the car. Zach followed, keenly aware of the fact that Razor had stopped working to watch him. Yuki, whose curiosity got the better of her, followed as well.
Sammy magnanimously threw the door to his car open and let out a reek of cologne, women's perfume and a scent Zach couldn’t place.
He rummaged around the red leather backseats for a moment, which at the moment were filled with all sorts of wares, then produced a small paper bag that clearly held a couple of videos.
“Fifty bucks, my man, and!”
Another paper bag appeared, a larger one, “I will be throwing in this fabulous gi.”
“Gi…?” Zach asked.
“Karate clothes.”
“Indeed, muchacha, as they say in the land of the Ri-hi-hising sun; You clothe a customer and he will be your friend for life.”
Zach glanced at Yuki. She shook her head, clearly hearing the made up expression for the first time.
He shrugged and simply payed the man, gratefully taking the packages.
“Well, señor, señorita,” Sweet Sammy concluded the business transaction, “I have other matters to attend too, but please remember my store when you’re old enough and your bits got into overdrive. Have a nice night.”
Zach and Yuki muttered their goodbyes, watched the man get in the car and drive off.
A moment later Yuki pulled the smallest package from Zach’s hand so she could peek inside.
“Oh,” she said, somewhat dejected, “Just… Karate.”
She pronounced the word the native way, ending in -tay instead of tee. Zach made a note to copy it.
“What language is this?” she asked, reading the cover.
“German,” Zach said.
“You speak German?”
“Not a word.”
Yuki laughed.
“I just have to copy the motions, don’t I?” Zach said, defensively taking the bag back.
It was a low quality bag, which tore as soon as it had to endure the slightest stress, spilling the contents to the floor. Two videos were titled, ‘Karate für amateurs in sechs stunden’, but the third had some Japanese writing and the word GAVAN slapped over it.
“Oh,” Yuki said, picking it up, “My father loves this show. Can I have it?”
“Sure,” Zach mumbled, putting the German tapes in the bag with his karate uniform, “I have to go now though… Mom wants me to do the dishes.”
Yuki looked slightly disappeared, but simply put the video under her arm and nodded, “Good luck with that. And your videos.”
“Thanks, Yuki. Good luck with work.”
“Oh. I am not working,” she laughed, “I was just waiting for Mister O’Donnell to give me a ride back.”
“You’re not running?”
She didn’t reply, instead opting to stick her tongue out over her shoulder, and disappeared back into the store.
Zach shrugged, hung the bag from his handle bars and headed home.
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