Faline

I wake slowly, the back of my head throbbing while on my belly, a soft material underneath, and something light over the top of me, so I lay there and listen to two heartbeats. One is my own, it's usual sluggishness chugging along. The other goes with a scent that tickles my nose. This one is also slow, yet I remember the last time I'd heard it, it was pounding, and I smelled his fear.

"The last time I saw strength like that from you, you'd broken through a reinforced steel chain like it was flimsy plastic."

His voice echoes in my head, causing me to groan.

"Don't need to yell, I can hear you just fine."

My hands go over my ears, keeping my eyes closed. I feel his weight settle next to me, another touches down on the back of my skull. Jerking away from him, I move away completely, or try to at least, as he lays over my back.

The hand against my head presses it down to the material under me, probably a bed. More than likely a bed. A small sound comes from me as his pressing makes it hurt more. He keeps the pressure on till I stop moving, then touches lightly where the throbbing is radiating from. Another small cry sounds as he messes with it, jerking away again thinking he's doing it to cause pain, not to soothe.

Soothe? Nicolaus? I must be crazy.

"Go away. Haven't you done enough? Go torment your damn dog and leave me alone."

"I am right where I want to be."

I scoff, the sound making my brain rattle, so I press my forehead into the mattress.

"Yeah, well, I don't want you here, go away. All you do is cause me pain."

His cool hand rubs along my shoulder blades and spine.

"That isn't true and we both know it."

Were human males ever this annoying? I can't remember. They couldn't possibly be as bad as the man with me right now.

I recall the very satisfying backhand I gave to Anthony.

"Go nurse your mutt, I'm sure he's wanting your attentions."

I continue talking into the bed, but he hears me. His grip tightens, but not to the point of pain. Not yet.

"You almost broke his neck. He is resting right now."

"I didn't break it? Damn, too bad."

Now his hand tightens to hurt. I clench my jaw, but that's the only reaction I give. His grip on my shoulder becomes bruising.

"See? All you give is pain. That'll never change."

Not sure why I'm bothering, not like logic ever works with him. Shockingly though, he lets go. It's such a surprise that I pull my head out and look at him. His weight hasn't moved though.

Luckily, any lighting is real low, barely there, so my head doesn't explode upon opening my eyes. I can see him clear as day though with no problem. He's watching me, eyes fully dilated.

I, of course, am nude under a thin sheet. Pushing to sit up, he moves slowly to allow it. Really hate that word, 'allow'. Chaffs my ass. Pulling the sheet to my chest as I sit with my legs folded in front of me, I manage to stay upright.

"Tell me what happened?"

"You don't remember?"

I recall some of it, but not all, and I tell him so. He lays down, putting his head in my lap and looks up at me. After an awkward moment, I put my hands on either side of his head, fingertips twining with his hair.

Once there, his eyes close. With that, I feel braver, so I bury my hands in it, the underside retaining his meager body heat. His expression goes from pinched and unhappy to relaxed peace.

The memory of the Mistress having said something about my calming those around me surfaces. I thought it was just Nicolaus. Does it work on everyone or just Vamps? Because I'm not very calming to Anthony, more the opposite really, just being near me seems to anger him. Madaline to.

"Anthony and I had just walked in when she grabbed you. We were coming closer when you lunged for her. I barely grabbed you in time, if you had attacked her, you would instantly be sentenced to death."

Actually, at the time, I think that's what I was going for. For fear of becoming just as insane as all of them.

"You broke my hold after tearing into my arms, tossing me to the side with barely a thought. Anthony had grabbed for you, that's when you almost broke his neck. You kept going for her. Myself and a few others tried to pin you, yet you tossed us around as if we were babes, biting and clawing as if an animal. The only thing that stopped you was that coyote."

Oh no. Maii. My heart skips a beat.

"You did not harm him. Intentionally. One of the Vampires you had thrown landed on him when he came too close. He is bruised but otherwise unharmed. When you had paused at his cry, it gave me a chance to take you down. The way you fell... I thought I had killed you."

His eyes open as he says the last, actual fear and pain showing in them. Uncomfortable, I snicker and look away to hide my own fear.

"Seems I'm hard to kill lately. Each time someone tries, something manages to save me. How long was I out this time?"

A hand comes up to my face and causes my hands to freeze in his hair, having been burrowing them at his nape, he cups the side of my face. I should probably pull away, but I don't want to. Really don't want to fight anyone anymore.

Nicolaus's touch is soft, cool, eyes seem to get lost in mine and vise-versa as his thumb feathers back and forth over the cheekbone. He rises slowly, gaze breaking away just to land on my mouth. No good, no good.

Now I know I should move, but my body doesn't want to. Feeling like a bird caught and held by a hungry snake, the man moves slowly, but steadily. Hand against my cheek moving to put pressure against the back of my head, pulling me down to meet him.

His fingers are splayed wide, the pressure not all in one spot and hurting. Tentatively, I meet him willingly, knowing that this is all sorts of wrong for all sorts of reasons.

Nicolaus whispers my name against my lips before he takes them in a kiss. Slow, coaxing. Enjoyable when not bruising. Tongues exchange and play along teeth while my hands stay at his nape and at the sides of his head.

Pulling away so he can sit up and turn, he pulls my face back to him and continues his onslaught of kisses. My head gets a little fuzzy as I return his attentions. Cool hands go from my face to my shoulders where they slide down my arms, then to my back.

Mine stay on his face, but do eventually slide down to a hard chest. Fingers move down to do what I've wanted to do several times but felt guilty for wanting to do so; touch at his abdominal muscles. They clench under my perusal, the softly formed 8-pack still firm even if it isn't clear cut, all while he steadily pulls me towards him.

My rear end slides easily over the slick material beneath me, silk underneath while cotton had covered me. I go to my knees before I get pulled into straddling his lap, his very naked lap. The fuzziness clears a little, body stiffening in his hold. Hands go back to his chest while his wrap around me. Nicolaus stops pulling, but keeps hold, tugging at my lower lip with fangs before he pulls back to lay his forehead against mine.

"Why won't you let yourself find release within my arms?"

My heart starts pounding at the thought, the sound loud in the otherwise silence, his heart follows mine.

"There is never release with you, Nicolaus, only torment. If you haven't figured it out yet, I'm not big on pain. That's all you seem to know."

Hands slide from his chest and back up to his face where I cradle it, pulling back so I can look at him. His expression is bordering on anger, and I return it with a look of sadness. My thumb glides along his lip as I watch it, then move my gaze to his eyes.

The orange slit orbs look back at me as he reads my face, actually taking the time to really go over it. His building anger dissipates steadily to be replaced with confusion. That look right there is what breaks my heart.

Whoever converted him, probably did it the same way he had with me. Tears start beading in my eyes as I look over his face, the scar on his left side getting traced by my fingertips. Born in darkness along with sickness and madness.

Moving my legs to the insides of his so I can get to my knees again, I pull him to my chest and hold him over my heart as I cry for him, for all that he had to have lost. His look before my head is laid over his is still one of confusion, but he's more than willing to be skin to skin.

Large hands move to my hips while I cradle him to me, thick hair brushing my chest and causing skin to peak. It gets ignored.

"I know now Nicolaus, and I'm sorrier than you'll ever know that it had happened to you, but you make it worse when you do it to others. I would have liked to know you before whatever Vamp got their claws into you."

He pulls back and I let him, eyes a dark honey as he looks to be concentrating. He continues to pull away voluntarily as if my touch is wrong. A flare of panic deep in his eyes confirms what I'd already figured out.

Nicolaus crawls backward and stands, tugging on his jeans and doing them up all the way, even putting a shirt on. I've thrown him so bad that he's trying to hide, to pull away. Again I let him, because I have no idea how to help an emotionally, physically, and mentally broken Vampire.

Avoiding my eyes as he paces, he then turns and leaves. A small critter darts in before the door is closed, followed shortly by jumping onto the end of the bed and crouching down low. Speaking of abused supernaturals...

"I'm truly sorry Maii. I didn't know that was going to happen. Think I was channeling my sister again, but this time it was different. It was like it was from her, but not. Something inside her that fills in parts of me. I wasn't sharing her mind, just her...rage."

Trying to explain it is near impossible when I'm not even sure what the hell kinda freaky shit is going on. I don't understand much at this point. Now I know why Kie goes so nuts when around people and avoids them when possible.

Having empathy sucks.

She can have it back, I don't want it.

I look around for some clothes, but of course, there are none. Looking back to the coyote and asking if he's alright, that I hadn't hurt him, he gives me a canine smile, so I take it he's fine.

"What about the Mistress? How much trouble am I in? Nicolaus didn't say before he ran off."

He whines at me. Not sure how to take that. Jumping down, he goes back to the door and scratches at it then looks back to me. Really don't want to stay human right now, so after I open the door, I shift.

Excitable kid bounces around me, then goes down the hall, coming back for me and going that way again. Okay, that seems to be straight forward enough, so I follow him. We actually don't go that far before he's scratching at another door. I just look at him as if he's expecting me to open it when someone else does from the other side. Jumping back, I'm wary as I look at him and the healer.

Looking up at her has me recognizing the double doors. I may have just been led to my death. Thanks a lot, Maii. Backing up slowly, the healer watches me indifferently. That's helpful.

The young coyote comes to me then goes through the door, popping his masked head out and yipping at me. Heaving a sigh, I go in after him. Soon as my tail is across the threshold, the door gets closed.