Chapter 34 – The Shakiest of Leads – Holly Hayfield

After dinner my mother went to wash dishes in the kitchen. I asked her to let me take over so that she could get some much needed rest. She was usually overly determined to help any way she could around the house. This time she didn’t fight me over it. She had another long day at work and was happy to have me relieve her. She decided to go to bed early.

I was almost finished washing the dishes when she suddenly came back in her pajamas. She had the home phone with her.

“It’s for you, Holly.” She said.

“Me…? Who is calling me on the home phone?”

“It’s Lilith. She called three times in a row. It must be serious.” She said.

She handed me the phone before turning away. I put the phone to my ear and held it against my shoulder to finish washing the dishes.

“Lilith…?” I asked.

“Finally…! How come you didn’t answer me earlier?” She asked.

“What are you talking about?”

“I sent you dozens of private messages on ChatCat. Then I tried to call your cell phone a few times. You never picked up.”

“Sorry, I left my cell phone in my room during dinner. How did you manage to get my home phone number?”

“It was in the city’s online phonebook. The number associated to the address is registered to Jennifer Hayfield.” Lilith said plainly.

I let out a small laugh and turned off the water faucet.

“Who does something like that? Geez, you’re like an angry ex-girlfriend. What’s so important that you couldn’t wait an hour or two?”

“You mentioned in the group chat earlier that you and Sam learned something new about Malorie. You never said what it was.” Lilith said.

“Really…? That’s the reason for all the commotion?”

“What…? Why else would I be calling?”

“I don’t know, maybe because you wanted to talk to your closest friend?” I asked playfully.

“No seriously, why else would I be calling?” Lilith asked like I was joking.

I wasn’t sure if she was being playful herself or if she was really dismissing my reason. Her voice sounded so matter-of-fact that it was impossible to tell. She was just like Val when it came to Malorie. Malorie had a friend in her. Was it stupid for me to be jealous of Malorie once again? She had both Val and Lilith wrapped around her long deceased finger. She could keep Val’s interest. I just wanted Lilith’s.

I dried my hands before handling the phone normally.

“Forget that for a moment.” I said on the way to my bedroom, “Why don’t you let me properly apologize for the assumptions I made earlier.”

“You already did.”

“Yeah, but you didn’t forgive me.”

“I’ll forgive you once you tell me what new information you found out.” Lilith said.

This girl was a robot. There was no stopping to smell the flowers with her. All she cared about was getting straight to business.

“Forgive me first.” I demanded.

“I’ll forgive you.” She said, “Only if you admit you were being a dingleberry.”

“I’ve never heard someone our age use that word. What the hell is a dingleberry?”

“It’s what my aunt calls my uncle when he’s being a dingleberry. Just admit you were being one and I’ll forgive you.”

“Fine, I was being a dingleberry. Will you forgive me now?”

Lilith tried to suppress her laugh over the phone. I could hear the phone move away as she laughed quietly. She cleared her throat and brought the phone back.

“Okay, I forgive you. Now what was it you found out?”

I went ahead and told Lilith about the new art club. I also told her about Silver and the picture of Ms. Logan with Malorie. Lilith listened quietly as I told her everything. She was so quiet that I wasn’t even sure if she was still on the line. At one point I asked if she was still there and she told me to go on. She was becoming unhealthily obsessed with Malorie. Here I was feeding that obsession because I wanted someone to talk to.

“That’s all great new information!” Lilith said once I was finished.

“So, do you have some new information for me too?” I asked.

“What information?” Lilith asked.

“I thought you said you were planning to call Jacob sometime?” I asked.

“Oh! I already did. I’ve called him a couple of times now. He said he doesn’t mind that we took the diary as long as we properly return it once we’re finished.”

“He seems to place a lot of trust in strangers.”

“Maybe, he was willing to talk to me some more about Malorie. He didn’t really say anything new, but I managed to tell him about the website when I talked to him earlier today. He seemed really excited about it.”

“You sure…? I didn’t think he’d be that open to us publicizing his family’s situation like that.”

“No, he said he was grateful that we made it. He just wants more people to know about his sister. He insisted that we upload her artwork within the diary to the website. He said we could keep the diary as long as we needed to finish the website.”

“Wow, he’s really into it then. Malorie seems to be really popular between him, you, and Val.”

“Don’t leave yourself out of that list.” Lilith said. “Sam and Jay should be counted also. We all want to know the truth. I can only imagine how Jacob must feel. I can’t imagine how he will feel once he learns about what we discovered.”

I lied back on my bed and looked up at the ceiling.

“Honestly Lilith, that makes me not want to tell him. He still has so much hope in him that I don’t want to crush him with the knowledge that his sister is long dead. Think about the way her corpse looked when we found her. She had no eyes, her skin was bleached white, and her mouth was sewn shut. How could we even begin to talk to him about that?”

Lilith was quiet for a moment. She was quieter than I expected her to be. Truthfully, I wasn’t posing this question to her thoughtfully. I was just speaking my mind. This wasn’t just a question for her. This was a question for myself.

“It’s like you said,” Lilith spoke softly, “We have to find the truth. Once we do that we’ll bring those who killed her to justice. At first I thought that meant police involvement. Now I’m not sure that’s enough. Her killers deserve nothing but death themselves.”

This was out of bounds from the Lilith that I knew. Although she spoke softly, her voice was thick with vindictive fervor. She had always had trouble controlling her anger but this was on another level. I felt similarly to Lilith, but I wouldn’t dare say something like this out loud. It was dangerous for even Lilith to be saying it.

“Lilith, don’t ever say what you just said to anyone else. I don’t want you getting into trouble. If someone were to hear you say that…”

“I don’t care! It’s the truth. They murdered an innocent girl and left her to rot in the basement of the school. Leaving her there was a slap in the face to my great grandmother’s dream. I may not remember meeting Malorie when I was younger but I feel like I know her now after transcribing her diary. They deserve to be punished. ” Lilith said.

Now she was completely angry. It was difficult when she got like this. Somehow I was forgetting to weigh my words when I talked to her. I should’ve realized that I was pushing her close to the edge when I talked like this. Now I needed to reel her back in.

“Let’s talk about this rationally. Let’s say we managed to find someone that had a hand in her murder. We wouldn’t be able to do anything ourselves without jeopardizing our current situation. The police are our only hope, right?”

“That’s not all we can do!” Lilith said, “If we get the word out to more people and explain to them how Malorie was murdered then things could be different. We could show them the Immortal Diary along with it! That’ll get more people to join our cause.”

“Then what…? It sounds like you want to organize an angry mob.” I said.

“Maybe that’s how it starts. Maybe that’s how we’ll get something done about it. All I know is we might not ever get enough solid evidence for the police to do something.”

“Well I hope that we do find enough evidence.” I said.

There was a pause on Lilith’s side. I could hear someone calling her in the background.

“I’ve got to go. My aunt’s calling me to come to dinner. We’ll talk about this later, okay?”

“Sure.”

“I’ll text you as soon as I’m done eating.” She said.

It made me happy to hear that, despite our strained conversation.

“Okay. Take your time. Enjoy your dinner.”

“I’ll talk to you later. Bye.”

“Bye.”

Lilith hung up her phone. I was left there staring at my own phone. Lilith had been radicalized by Valentina’s fiery speech. They were all projecting themselves onto the image of Malorie’s dead body. It was like they were out for personal vengeance.

I understood where they were coming from but I didn’t want to encourage them further. Valentina had recently started being less aggressive. Lilith was finally opening up enough to talk to me on a regular basis. My fear was that they would fall down a dark well that would undo all the progress we made thus far. They were at risk of walking down a dangerously anti-social path. I wanted to save them from that.

I thought about it as I relaxed with a hot bath. It was completely quiet in the bathroom and yet I felt free from any impending panic attacks. My mind couldn’t be filled with stress from the past when I was so focused on stress in the present. If my little group broke down over Malorie then I’d be back to where I was on the first day of school. What could I do to keep Lilith and Valentina walking the good path?

At school the next day Lilith wouldn’t stop texting me about what all this new information about Malorie meant. During the middle of class my phone kept repeatedly buzzing while my teacher was lecturing. The teacher stopped the lecture long enough to clear her throat, insisting I silence my phone. I was so embarrassed by that I decided I had enough of Lilith’s texting for the moment. At the end of class I took my cell phone out and sent Lilith an angry message.

“If you want to know so badly then why don’t you just go ask Ms. Logan herself?”

It was meant to be completely off-putting and rhetorical. Lilith embraced the idea. Suddenly she went from texting me directly, to talking in ChatCat. She wanted everyone in on the idea. She touted it as my idea of course, this way she wouldn’t have to volunteer herself. Just like that my cheeky comment had been flipped on its head.

By lunch our plan to talk about this in person was made official. Val called for a meeting in the library’s student council room to specify the details. I showed up after Lilith. I wasn’t even sure she went to class at all that day considering how much she had been texting me. Sam came in next. Val and Jay came in together. We were all eating lunch casually when Lilith decided to break the ice.

“Holly should be the one to go talk to Ms. Logan.” Lilith said flatly.

“What? Me…?! Why does it have to be me?” I protested.

“I agree with Lilith.” Val said. “I think you’re the perfect one to talk to her. It can’t be Sam, she’s new. It can’t be me because I’m not on good terms with her.”

“It can’t be me either.” Lilith said. “Every time I talk to her she has to nitpick about something. She’s such a hassle to deal with. The last time I talked to her was last school year. I practically spat in her face before leaving.”

“Well, what about Jay?” I asked.

Jay rolled her head like she was exercising her tired neck.

“Oh please give me a break. I’m already scheduled to be helping her out during last period today. I don’t want to be around her more than I have to.” Jay said.

“I don’t understand.” Sam said. “What’s so bad about Ms. Logan?”

“She’s mentally ill.” Val said. “Normally she’s on a ton of medicine that is supposed to keep her calm but their effectiveness is debatable.”

“I heard a rumor that she stopped taking them.” Lilith said.

“I can verify that.” Jay said. “She’s been more off the rails than normal. I don’t have her this school year, but the vice principal still has me help her out every now and then. It’s amazing they let someone like that become a teacher.”

“My own history teacher has sent me over to help her a few times.” I said. “She has planning period during my history class. Sometimes Mr. Hudson has me leave class early to go help her.”

Sam leaned back in her chair and scratched her head in confusion.

“So what, your teacher just rents you out during class? How does that work?” Sam asked.

“Normally I finish my homework ahead of the rest of the class.” I said. “He sends me over to help her grade papers so that she doesn’t come to him looking for help. She’s been behind on grading literally every day since school started.”

“We’re only a few weeks into school. How is she so far behind?” Sam asked.

“She struggles more than any other teacher I know. Her home situation must be complicated. I actually feel sorry for her.” I said.

“That’s exactly why it has to be you to talk to her about Malorie.” Val said. “You’re more compassionate and gentle than anyone here. Before, I thought that was a weakness. Maybe I was wrong? It can be a positive strength in its own weird way.”

“Thanks… I guess.”

“I’m serious.” Val said. “I don’t think anyone else is capable of getting close enough to her to ask about Malorie. I think you’re the only one.”

“I can’t promise results. I don’t know the best way to go about it. Maybe I could ask her the next time I’m helping her grade homework?” I asked.

Val rubbed her chin in thought.

“Or…” Val said “Or you could join up with Jay later today. You should be able to get out of your study hall, right? Since Jay’s going to be helping her why don’t you volunteer to help? The hag will let you leave to help another teacher.”

“What?” Jay and I said at the same time.

Jay glared at me, and then looked at Val.

“I already don’t want to spend my time helping the schizo history teacher! Don’t make things worse by adding Holly into the mix!” Jay said.

“It’s not like I wanted any part of this to begin with! This is Lilith’s idea!” I said.

“You’re much better for the role than me.” Lilith said happily.

“You two will do fine.” Val said. “Besides, I want you two to start getting along. This will set the foundation for you two to come together.”

Jay and I looked at each other as Val spoke. She shot me a dirty look before turning away.