《My Quiet Life》25. The call of the void (Part 1)
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Nothing. The void. Death. A gift mann received from Solomon.
In the tight embrace of the fictitious remains of the immaterium, we return from whence we came and hopefully rejoin those that once were lost… But in the meantime, we remain forever split from them.
Only momentarily, can we touch the membrane of the unknown in our dreams.
A light appeared. Sentience; the material plane called to me from this illusion. I bore witness as the darkness was ripped away from me.
“Good morning, my lord.”
The butler said as he slid the curtain open, letting light flood the dark room.
I could feel my face was flat on the desk, something sticky on my cheek. I opened my eyes to witness the remains of a candle that had burnt out the night before. It had leaked all over the table and reached my face
I lifted my head and the harsh ray of the morning sun crossing the large window in front of my desk assaulted my senses.
I grunted as I ripped away the wax which had solidified on my face..
“May I humbly suggest a bath be brought to your quarters?”
In front of me, the estate butler was still facing the window. Either out of respect for my miserable appearance or as an attack to my authority.
Either way, I couldn’t care less.
“A pitcher and a towel will do.”
The butler turned toward me with a frowning expression on his face.
“With all due respect, my lord. If I may…”
“You may not.”
I cut his sentence short. I knew what he was going to say, since I had heard the same thing every morning for weeks now… Perhaps months?
Irrelevant.
Time was simply a hurdle between me and the inevitable embrace of the void.
The butler seemed to hesitate for a moment, but nodded.
“I will have it brought momentarily… Along with your breakfast.”
“I don’t need a br…”
The butler had already slamed the door behind him, leaving me once again alone in the confines of my office.
Having slept on my desk for yet another night, my body felt completely sore. I rubbed my face and aside from the stubbles of my week old beard and the raw skin from the wax, I felt the imprint of the letter that still remained sealed on my desk.
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I picked it up and examined it. I knew the insignia. It was mine. Or perhaps I should say my father’s.
I knew of its content, but was there truly a point to delaying the inevitable? This letter will have to be read... and eventually answered. I had not spoken to my father in years yet he still wrote to me.
I gripped the letter opener and sliced the envelope open.
I opened the delicate piece of paper and started reading its content.
‘To my son Marshall,
It is with a heavy heart that I write to you. My condition has taken its toll on my body and I can feel the sweet embrace of Solomon coming for me. As my life is reaching its apogee, my thoughts lay on you, my only child and heir.
It was only seven short years ago when you left home for Evergreen, but to my now weakened mind, it feels like a lifetime ago.
Your fiance’s tragic demise weighs heavily on my soul. The guilt of never having blessed your union will be a shame I will carry to my grave. Yet I have no choice, but to beg you to reconsider your decision.
You are young and…’
I crumpled up the letter and tossed it aside.
I had read enough.
It has only been 4 months since Lili’s… Since my fiance Lilica died…
I hear the door of the room open once again. The butler places a tray of food and a pitcher on my desk.
I washed my face and neck as the butler poured a cup of warm tea.
The water still dripping down my face, I took a long sip of the bitter tea. The taste lingered on my tongue and cleared my muddled mind.
I stared at the crumpled letter on the floor.
Despite my personal feelings on the matter, I knew my father was right.
After Lilica's death, I had sworn myself off marriage, but as my father's death was becoming inevitable, other nobles used this to attack my legitimacy as an heir.
Being unwilling to produce an heir was tantamount to being an eunuch in their eyes. If a court ruled in their favour, our dynasty would be considered dead and I would be stripped of my rights as a baron, let alone a count…
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I knew what had to be done, but the idea of marrying a woman other than Lilica made me sick. It was unreasonable to ask this of me and they knew this. Yet, they exploited this weakness.
They saw in it an opportunity to claim my family's land and they were taking it.
Most frustratingly, Lilica's father, the Duke of Norland, also participated in this campaign against me. He blamed me for her untimely death as he had been opposed to our union.
To make matters more complicated, we had been vassals to their family, but only in name. For generations, they had tried to subdue our territory by any means.
Unfortunately for him, his daughter and I fell in love.
We met seven years ago.
Being from a military dynasty and of Steinhnner descent; members of our family had always produced exceptional soldiers.
As faith had it, the Heillhs Empire had invaded Lowland just as I became of age to take up arms.
I spent 3 years repelling the invaders. I led my father’s retinue as he was too infirm to once more take to battle. I learned how to lead men and the weight of holding their lives in my hands.
War was war, but the empire was an honorable opponent.
A good death to them meant either by being bested by a fellow duellist or as an old man at home. They did not partake in mindless slaughter and many of our lost men were taken prisoners.
After the siege of Khaln Fortress made the outcome of the war obvious, they surrendered, returned our imprisoned men and withdrew their troops.
When we returned victorious to the capital, a great ball took place and there I met her.
It only took a look for us to become taken with each other.
We got engaged almost immediately, but due to her father’s reluctance the wedding never took place.
Seven years we sought his approval and for seven years we hid that we had already held a ceremony.
We were happy, despite everything.
A year ago, she became pregnant. We had planned to force the Duke’s hand to approve our union once the baby was born, but, six months later, there were complications.
I still remember that night. She woke up screaming. The sheets were covered in blood. I sent for a doctor, but by the time he arrived she had lost too much blood.
I could only hold her as she had grown colder.
Her screams of pain and desolation still haunt me.
“Master Ashbrook?”
The butler asked, taking me out of my reveries.
“About today’s Agenda…”
“I’m not going anywhere today.”
I tried to interrupt him, but he ignored me.
“You have a commitment at the Septenary church.”
I crossed my arms.
“I don’t remember any commitment.”
I retorted, looking at him dubiously.
It was probably just another one of his tricks.
“You didn’t?”
He said with an exaggerated tone of surprise.
“Ah yes! That’s right, it was lady Lilica! You must remember that the lady was particularly fond of the Fey church and their Spring Bloom Festival? Trully, I remember her speaking of it with so much enthusiasm. Wasn’t there a lot of children tending to the event?”
Ah... I remember... Lili loved that event. Lots of activities and children. She always loved children…
It was that day, going to the festival that she announced to me that she was with child.
One of the happiest days of my life.
I felt a cloud over my mind, but I relented.
“Right. You’ve convinced me. I will go.”
The butler clasped his hand and a smile lifted his mustache.
“Splendid! I will have someone come up and make you presentable!”
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