Ryker crushed my body to his, bending down and roughly capturing my lips. My body responded, and I hated it. I stopped struggling and my chest swelled, about to burst. His hands began to gently run down my body as he explored my lips and tongue with his. He pushed me sideways until I was against the wall and held my hands above my head, lifting his lips off mine intermittently to just look at me.

I was not used to this. This feeling. The undeniable warmth my body radiated underneath his hands. It was too much. I panted between his kiss as tingles and the unwanted warmth overcame my body. When his lips left mine, I nearly winced from their absence. He dragged his lips in a chaotic trail to my neck, his gentle grip on my waist tightening as he yanked my body effortlessly upwards, allowing me to wrap my legs around his waist. He used the position to grind into my core, and I moaned. The sound came out foreign and not my own.

“Slow...” It was the only word I could think of, unable to think clear enough to form a sentence. He growled against my skin, and shifted his hips to grind in deeper, eliciting a mew-like moan from my lips.

Who the fuck am I?

"Oh, I'm going to take my time with you.” He whispered.

I moaned again as he dragged his hands upwards, under my shirt, pulling the cloth off in one swift movement. I shivered lightly when the bare skin of my back met with the chilled wall, but the boulder of heat crushing me against the surface kept it bearable. His rough hands formed pathways up my stomach, squeezing the swell of my breasts over my bra.

His lips returned to mine and drank in my breath, hardly letting me up for air. It was overwhelming, but exactly what I needed to make it through this intact. One of his hands came up and encased my throat, adding just the right amount of pressure to cause me to gasp aloud, followed by another rough grinding against my core. My hands had tangled their way into his hair and tugged harshly, and I bit down on his bottom lip with purpose.

Despite my body’s eagerness, Ryker was not tempted to go too fast, however, he did not get distracted. He pulled our bodies away from the wall, his lips still interlocked with mine, and all but busted down the door to his room. He dropped me into the mess of his sheets, pulling off his shirt quickly, but did not leave me waiting longer than a blink before his body slammed down onto mine.

No longer in charge of my own body, I could feel my hands starting to unbutton my jeans and then his, just as he kicked his feet out to dispose of his shoes. His lips left scorch marks on my soul as he abandoned my lips and made way down the curve of my breasts, the curve of my waist and down to just where my jeans started. He looked up at me with a desire I had not felt before this moment. With him. No one else could compare.

My clothes were of little importance, and Ryker did away with them easily. I was left in just my bra, but that was the only item of clothing he had not seemed to mind. His gaze was intense, the way it pierced me into place. I do not think I would have been able to leave, even if I had wanted to. Holding up one of my legs, he pressed his lips to my ankle and slowly lowered them to my inner thigh. I moaned as he flicked his tongue against me, just beside the spot where I wanted him most. He moved his tongue excruciatingly slowly, and my back arched in ecstasy and anticipation. Once he found his way to my clit, my body jolted in pleasure. I bit down on my bottom lip, trying not to scream out.

Ryker’s grip on my legs tightened and yanked me closer to his mouth. He broke contact for only a moment and growled again, against my skin. “I want to hear you.”

He gently curled his tongue around me, in a way so sensual it made my legs shake. I cried out in pleasure as he drew his fingers up to me and glided one in. He gently maneuvered a finger in me, milking my body for all it was worth. The warmth started to crawl up from my core to my chest as he continued to lick and suck on my clit. He slid in a second finger and I gently turned my neck to see our reflection in the well-placed mirror just next to his bed. The movement of his mouth and fingers in addition to the visual of his head between my legs put me over the edge. My mind shattered as my body writhed in pure bliss.

"Ryker, please." I panted when his onslaught did not cease. The noise that left my mouth was just shy of a scream as the orgasm intensified. Once I finished, he drew his mouth away from me and slid his fingers out of me. He placed whispers of kisses against my trembling skin, finding his way back up to my mouth. I was surprised that my body seemed no lesser of want than when we had started.

He settled between my legs; his tongue set to exploring my mouth again, and somewhere in my ecstasy, he had taken care of his own pants. He tasted of burnt cinnamon and the slick of my orgasm. It only fueled the spark of my desire, turning it into a deafening roar. I could feel his bulge rubbing against my sensitive core, and I no longer wanted to not be in control.

I wrapped one of my legs around one of his and pushed his shoulder simultaneously, twisting and landing square on his chest. He looked mildly surprised but pulled my body by the nape of my neck back down to continue our kiss. I sat up quickly, no longer able to resist it, and slowly guided his solid cock inside me. I winced at his size and took a moment to allow my body to adjust. He took that moment to unsnap the hooks of my bra and tossed it to the side.

It took only a few seconds, but the goosebumps that raised over my skin made me acutely aware that I was completely exposed. The real, unearthed Jaylyn. It made my stomach coil, and I squeezed my eyes closed, my arms wrapping around my middle and chest to cover myself. Ryker sensed my unease and sat up, my body still straddling his.

"Look at me." He demanded.

I opened my eyes and locked onto his. “Please...”

“You are beautiful, Jaylyn.” He mused, his fingertips tracing down my spine. “Just like this.”

Ryker did not look away as he pinned me by my hips, holding me tightly and forcing my body into a rhythm. Unwillingly, my eyes left his as my head tilted back, my dark curls hanging down as my back uncontrollably arched into him. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck, beginning to use my weight to bounce up and down on top of him. I turned my gaze to examine myself in that mirror again, realizing his hands no longer guided my movements, as I watched myself fuck him. His own head was thrown back in pleasure, and somewhere in the back of my mind, I knew I wanted this only for myself.

My breathing came in short, fast pants. Ryker cradled my middle as I rode his body, dropping his lips to my chest. It was when he bit down hard on one of my erect nipples, that I screamed out, an orgasm instantly washing over me. My body convulsed against his, shivering as pleasure drowned my senses and I knew nothing but him and burnt cinnamon. I struggled to keep pace and faltered but refused to let Ryker move under me.

“One more, Jaylyn. Just one more for me.” He whispered in my ear, as he pinned my hips again and set them into motion. My body was spent, and there was no conceivable way I could do what he was asking of me.

“I can’t...” I moaned into his shoulder.

“Yes...” He demanded, and my body obeyed.

Of course, I was proved wrong, my senses waking again at his beckoning. Only this time, Ryker did not remove his hands once my body was ready to take over. He kept me pinned to him just as he wanted and controlled the rhythm to his liking.

“Ryker, please...” I pleaded. My body could not handle anymore.

He took that instant to rotate his body only a fraction, but it left his pelvic bone to come into direct contact with my over-sensitive clit. He groaned with the new placement, and ground my hips deeper onto him, quickening the pace.

“I. Can’t.” The sound I made was guttural and inhuman.

“Fuck, Jaylyn.” He moaned into my neck. “Come. Now.”

My pussy tightened at his command, and my vision blurred into white. The final orgasm rumbled through my body as Ryker tightened his hold on my hips, finding his release. My body shook with aftershocks, trembling from exhaustion. I had tasted oblivion. And it was pure. This was not normal. But for once, I was appreciative of the fact.

Ryker held my body close to his. I had no energy left to spare as I nuzzled my way into the crook of his neck, my nose flaring as I breathed him in. This was what people described when they talked of Heaven. He laid back, leaving my body curled on top of his and slung his blanket over us both. His arms encircled me, and for once, I felt at peace.

I woke with a start. There was light snoring. I squinted in the little brightness coming in from underneath the curtains and peered around. I looked down and Ryker was sleeping under me. I was still straddled on his body, and his arms were wrapped around my middle. I rested my chin on my hand upon his chest and studied his sleeping face.

It took me a moment of clarity to realize, I had slept through the night without a single nightmare. I had not been stupidly drunk, and I had fallen asleep quickly. I felt rested. This was unchartered territory for me. Feelings did not come easy for me and somehow the man lying underneath me had managed to worm his way into the recesses of my blackened heart. I could not see how he even wanted to stick around with all the resistance I had put up against him.

I did not want to think about the way things were between us or what all of this would mean in the end. I did not want to think about Emma or how we would approach the subject later. I did not want to face the pang of guilt in my chest that thrummed against my chest as I watched Ryker sleeping peacefully underneath me.

This was the main reason I did not get involved with anyone in a meaningful way. The thoughts that always clouded my mind would eat me alive. It was just sex, Jaylyn. Nothing to get worked up over.

But was it really? Just sex?

What happened between us the night before seemed like so much more than that. It sounded cheesy and cliché, but it was the truth. I had never connected physically with someone so perfectly before in my entire life. I was used to being the one stuck in my own head until it was over. A tip of the hat. And then gone. It had nothing to do with feelings.

The way Ryker had taken control over the entire situation had been a turn on. He did not play on my insecurities or the way I let my darkness rule every aspect of my existence. He soothed my ruffled feathers and allowed me room to breathe; to feel. It was strange and exhilarating all at the same time.

The change of my breathing must have alerted him that I was awake, and he rumbled from under me. “Good morning.”

“Morning.” My response was soft, yet still calculated.

This would be the part. The ‘thanks for the good time, but you can leave now’ part.

I waited patiently for the moment that did not come.

“Are you still tired?” He chest vibrated against mine.

“Not hardly.”

Still waiting.

“Want to shower while I get the coffee going?” He rolled slowly to the side and let me curl up against his pillows.

“Um, sure?” The confusion was plain as day.

Still waiting.

“Are you okay?”

“Hm?”

His baby blues locked onto mine. “Jaylyn.”

It was the same tone he had used the night before and my legs squirmed tighter together, willing the embarrassment of desire to go away.

“Are you okay?” He repeated it again, but this time it demanded a response.

“Aren’t you going to ask me to leave?” The question only made sense in my head, but it was all I could produce on the spot.

It was his turn to give a look of confusion. “Why would I ask you to leave?”

“Isn’t that how this usually works?” I sat up. “We met, we became friends, we fucked, and now this is when you ask me to leave.”

“You think last night was a one-night stand?” He looked a little shocked.

“Isn’t that...-”

He cut me off before I could finish the thought. “Jaylyn, if I only wanted a one-night stand, I would have made sure that’s all it was. I would have made sure you were aware that is all it was. I know I’m an asshole and I hang around a lot of other assholes, and I am fully capable of having a one-night stand with any girl.”

My shoulders shrunk slowly.

“But not with you.”

“But Emma...?” I could not help but bring it up.

“But Emma? Emma is nothing to me, Jaylyn. Absolutely nothing. I am not with her. I have not been for a long time. It is a lot to explain, but I just do not know how right now. Okay?”

My eyes must have given away the slight sadness that was ruining my morning.

“When I find a way to explain it to you, will you listen then? It might take a minute. Could be a while, but there are things that I am not able to explain right now. But if you will stick with it, I promise to explain things when I am able.”

“You promise?”

“I promise. Now get that cute ass in the shower. Coffee should be done by the time you get out.” He smirked.

“Okay.” I giggled.

What the fuck is that Jaylyn?

“And Jaylyn?” He called out over his shoulder as I grabbed up my stuff. “I would never ask you to leave. Ever.”

The week had moved by so quickly that I did not have much time to think about everything. I took it as a blessing, because without proper time to think about everything going on, that left little room to overthink anything either. Ryker had been spending more time with me as each day passed. He began hanging around Elsie and Giovanni increasingly more. Between classes and practice, I was getting wore out, and Giovanni has been feeling the stress of mid-terms approaching, so he was leaving his apartment very little. It left me jobless and left to my own vices.

I spent most evenings curled up on my couch, either studying or watching movies with Elsie. When she left, Ryker would come out from his room to keep me company. He usually sat at the opposite end of the loveseat and would trail his fingers up my legs absentmindedly, effectively distracting me away from whatever I would be doing. I did not think he was doing it intentionally, but it was a distraction all the same. I could no longer ignore the flutter of excitement whenever he came home, or the simple joy of waking up with him every morning. He had made himself at home in my room and would not even try to sleep in his own.

I was falling into a routine, and for once I was trying not to fight it.

I grabbed the remote to the television and curled up on the couch, burying myself in my blanket for what would be a peaceful Friday night for the first time since school began. My stomach rumbled and I tried to remind myself that food was on the way. Even my hunger was impatient. Ryker would be in for a rude awakening since feeding me the first time. I would have to tell him that my inner demon requires Chinese food to abate its constant need for wrath and chaos.

The minutes ticked by and I kept looking at my phone to watch the time roll by. Elsie would fully approve of my growing addiction to snacks and all things edible. I watched the movie playing across the screen, but did not absorb any of the plotline, too lost in my own thoughts. Ryker had made an honest attempt to get to know me. It was weird and I did not really know how to adjust to being open with anyone, but little by little I could feel the shell I had encased myself in chipping away.

A knock at our door made my brain come back down from the sky.

“Did you forget your keys?” I laughed, opening the door quickly.

I froze.

I came nose to nose with a perky blonde. Her face was damn near symmetrical, with ice blue eyes, and lips that looked like they had been stuck in a frown for way too long. Her nostrils began to flare, and her eyes glared at me, sizing me up.

“Who the fuck are you?” She spat.

“Uh...” I could not find any words. “Jaylyn.”

“What are you doing in my boyfriend’s apartment?”

It all became too clear, and I could not keep the anger from spreading. “I live here.”

“Wait.” She looked like she was confused before the glare returned. “You’re Jay?”

She practically pushed me out of her way, toting a large carry-on bag behind her. One of the wheels was squeaking and it sounded like nails raking down a chalkboard.

“Excuse you.” I stated flatly, shutting the door behind her.

“No.” She snapped. “Excuse you. You should not be here. You are a girl. In the boy’s dorm.”

“By your logic, you shouldn’t be here either.” I retorted.

“I’m visiting.” She sniffed.

I raised my eyebrows and went back to my seat on the couch. At the most opportune time, Ryker decided to show back up and his eyes widened when he realized who was standing by the kitchen table. I wanted to punch him. Fuck being normal. He was a goddamn liar.

“Hey, baby!” She squealed with happiness, dropping the handle to her bag, and rushing over to him to wrap her arms around his neck.

Tsk.

“Emma.” He swallowed hard and stared at me while she gripped onto him for dear life. “What are you doing here?”

He shifted out of her arms and set the bag of food on the table.

“I came to visit, silly! I got the whole weekend to be able to spend some time with you. Daddy says we should not spend so much time apart. It’s not good for us.” She beamed. “Aren’t you excited to see me?”

“Sure. I’m just shocked, is all.” His voice did not carry the weight of excitement.

“You didn’t say anything about your new roommate being a girl.” She accused. “I’m not comfortable with it. She needs to leave. And you should contact the administration building and ask for her to be transferred.” She pouted.

“Jaylyn living here isn’t a problem, Emma.” He tried.

“It is a problem if you’re engaged to me.” She threw her hands up.

I shot up out of my spot and had to force myself not to growl at the two of them. Fucking engaged. I was a fucking idiot. The constant theme in my life. My lips burned with the ghost of Ryker’s kiss, and I had to force myself not to explode between the two of them. I beelined for my room and slammed the door.

I could barely hear them between the closed door and wall, so I slipped my headphones in and turned the music as loud as it would go. Everything about this was bullshit. Bullshit of my own doing, but bullshit, nonetheless. I cannot believe I had taken him at his word.

Minutes turned into hours, and I pulled one of my headphones out to check if they were still in the apartment. My door was cracked open, and I could hear Emma talking from the living room. So, it had to be Ryker that stood in my doorway.

“Jaylyn?” He whispered.

“What?” Flat. Cold.

“I need you to leave.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Just until Sunday morning.”

“You’ve got to be joking.”

The door opened a little farther, his gaze landing on mine. “Please.”

“You’re serious.” I growled. “Get out.”

He closed the door gently, and I could hear Emma pitching a fit in the other room. I grabbed the empty duffle bag out of my closet and threw whatever I could into in. I grabbed my keys and my phone, locking my bedroom behind me. Ryker pleaded at me with his eyes and Emma continued to glare at me.

“Enjoy the couch.” I rolled my eyes and walked out without another word.