《Re:Paranoia!》Chapter 74: Advice, And Something More...
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—"I need to see you."
That was the message Jered woke up to. It had been a couple of days since he last saw Evelyn, or Kenny. And for a very short amount of time, his life had sort of gone back to normal. Naturally, with Jasmine skulking around the shadows and 'accidentally' getting caught masturbating—going as far as to make eye contact during the act—to say his life was normal was stretching it, but all things considered, it wasn't bad.
—"Let's meet at The Love Shack, in 1 hour," he typed back.
She sent him a smiley emoji.
How cute.
Jered tossed the sheets aside and went through his morning routine. After he washed up, he joined Jasmine and Jane downstairs for breakfast. It was Sunday, which meant no school. And it was honestly surprising to see his sister up so early in the morning, "Good morning," he said, noticing the ambiguous smile playing out on her face. She was slouched on a chair, a knee over the other as her foot dangled up and down. He proceeded to sit across from her.
Her eyes followed his every move.
"Good morning, son. You came just in time. Are you hungry?" Jane chirped, "I'm making pancakes!"
"When it comes to your food, I'm always hungry," Jered chuckled, pouring himself a glass of water.
She rolled her eyes, and despite the skeptical upturn of her eyebrows, her lips still curled up into a genuine smile, "Oh, shaddap, you flatterer! I know my cooking is average."
"That's bullshit, and you know it. It's your fault if Jasmine has put on a few pounds."
"I did not!" Jasmine squawked out, wrinkling her nose at him, "You liar! We all know that it doesn't matter what I eat, I'm forever shapely and hot!"
Jered rested his chin on his hand and smiled.
"You don't believe me."
That smile could have been translated in a plethora of ways, and Jasmine decided that it was mocking.
Jane shook her head with a sigh.
He didn't say anything, which ended up triggering her more. She pouted and crossed her arms.
Eventually, breakfast was served. Jane sat next to them and began to eat. Of course, Jasmine was still miffed by Jered's veiled insinuation. So it was with a bit too much force that she forked her pancakes and stuffed the stack into her mouth. Obviously, Jered turned a blind eye to her looks.
"How's your school life going on, kids? Have you both found someone you like?" Jane initiated the conversation as she poured a good dollop of maple syrup over her pancakes. Jered groaned internally. That was the worst topic to talk about at the moment, "I met your father in my sophomore year, and oh gosh, the moment I saw him, I knew... I knew that no other man would ever make my heart throb like that. I swear, it was so magical... I never knew you could be so attracted to someone," she reminisced with a fond sigh.
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"I think I relate, mom," Jasmine swallowed the fluffy sweet, looked deep into her mother's eyes, and dropped the metaphorical bomb, "He's the only thing I think about day in, day out. The problem is that he doesn't reciprocate my feelings, and it's driving me insane."
"Oh my, do tell me. Who is this lucky young lad?"
If Jane had any inkling of what was going on, she would have noticed how wrong the look Jasmine sent Jered's way was.
"Hmmmmm," Jasmine tilted her head to the side and tapped her chin, "Sorry, but I can't tell you."
Jane pouted, "Come on... give me some clues, at least!"
"Well. He's younger than me..."
"Uh-huh. What else?"
"He's veeeeeery handsome," Jasmine emphasized how much by waving her arms around theatrically, "And... he's simply magical..."
The double-entendre was lost on their mother. Jered, however, tapped Jasmine's leg with his foot. He couldn't signal her to stop with his eyes, it would have been too obvious.
"Oh, my baby. He sounds special. Why don't you bring him over one of these days?" Jane cooed, gently rubbing her daughter's hand.
Jasmine chuckled and waved her off, "There's no need, mom."
"What do you mean?"
"Nothing, nothing."
Jane didn't give up, "Do you need any advice, sweetheart? Back in the days, I had to fight tooth and nail to get your father's attention. And I've picked up many useful tricks along the way."
"Can you two please not talk about this here?" Jered finally intervened, "I thought girl talks were supposed to be out of us vile men's earshot."
"You're part of the family. You're an exception."
"That doesn't make any sense."
Jasmine concurred with her mother, her eyes narrowing above a naughty smile, "Yes, Jered. You can listen to us talk about dresses, rainbows, and guys."
"Hah, thank you for the offer, but I'd rather sit this one out," Jered said as he made to stand up, but Jane's hand quickly held him down. There was an apologetic smile on her face, and he could already guess her next words. The problem was that if he stayed there, then it would only motivate Jasmine to drop unnecessary hints about her incestuous feelings for him. She was dancing on the edge of truth—and she liked it.
"Nooo, don't! I'm sorry, stay with us for a bit longer, pretty please? You're always in a hurry, and it's very rare for us to sit down and talk like this."
Under her pleading stare, Jered couldn't find it in himself to say no, "Fine..." he sat back down.
Probably a mistake, but whatever happened, he'd let Jasmine deal with the fallout.
Jane cleared her throat, "Sooo... what about you, son? I mean, has anyone at school managed to pique your fancy? If you're anything like your father, then I'm sure you've got many girls head over heels for you. Come on, spill the beans."
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Jasmine paid careful attention to his expression, or any change that'd accompany whatever name came out of his mouth. Her coy smile smelled of trouble, and it set off warning bells in his head. What he couldn't understand, though, was why she slid her back down the chair into a goofy position. He promptly ignored that and faced Jane, "Well, I've been told from... some unreliable sources... that a few girls at school have a crush on me. Whether that's the truth or not remains to be seen."
"Oh, my baby boy is out there breaking hearts!"
"No, I didn't say that...."
"Probably breaking hymens too," Jasmine chipped in.
"Jasmine! Bad. Very bad!" Jane chided her. Then, with a theatrical cough, she schooled her expression and smoothed out her voice, "Jered. I know that I can't replace your father, but... umh... should you need any sort of advice, feel free to come to me! You're at that age where mistakes happen, not that I don't trust you into doing the right thing. But... hehe, you know... hormones! Ahem, therefore—"
Jered tuned her out, for he noticed some distracting movements underneath the table. Jasmine's bare, dainty foot had breached into his personal space, and was now rubbing up and down the length of his ankle in a rather inappropriate fashion. He resisted the urge to pull the tablecloth up and catch her red-handed—or better, red-footed. However, it would risk Jane seeing it too. And if that happened, a lot of pointed questions would ensue. It was way too early in the morning for him to deal with that shit.
"—Eh, I'm not really worried about that though. Hmhm. You're a polite and responsible young man," Jane nodded, as if satisfied with her thought process. However, it didn't last very long. She scowled, "... but... umh.... sometimes even responsible people slip, and then they accidentally knock up some poor girl. Oh, don't do that, son. You have no idea how far a woman in love is willing to go for the man she likes. If you're going to... umh... have intercourse with someone, make sure to use protection!"
Jasmine bit her lip, her eyes smoldering with unbridled passion. If, for some reason, Jane happened to turn around and catch that look, then all hell would break loose.
Her foot nuzzled his ankle, his shin, and his calf, giving them equal love. Her toes wiggled under the bottom hem of his pants and began to massage him with her sole, slowly, sensually. Jered could clearly feel the velvety warmth of her foot as it caressed his leg. Truth be told, he wasn't into that kind of game, but he had to admit that if her purpose was to get a reaction out of him... well, she was being successful. Nevertheless, he wouldn't let some misplaced lust overpower his sense of reason.
Meanwhile, Jane yammered on and on, wholly unaware of what was going on underneath the table.
"—Uh, sorry, I have digressed. Silly me! You probably don't need me to tell you this kind of stuff. I trust you to do the right thing."
Jered briefly signaled Jasmine with his eyes.
Of course, that further spurred her into being more daring. She skimmed her instep around the inside of his calf, going ever so upward. Naturally, Jasmine knew that if she went any higher than that, Jane would probably notice it. She knew they could be caught anytime, but it was exactly that that made it even more exciting. The feeling of walking on a thin line, where each step, each second, made everything so much more dangerous and erotic. She fucking loved it.
Jasmine brushed her foot past his kneecap, until her foot was cozily nestled between his thighs. A dangerous place, but it was not enough for what she had in mind. She straightened her leg and extended it as far as she could. Her foot moved a few inches forward, barely enough for her toes to graze the contour of his crotch and give it a good nudge. It was then that Jered knew he had to put a stop to that madness. He grabbed her foot before it could do more damage. However, he had forgotten that Jasmine's foot was very ticklish.
And the result of that was a loud thump due to her knee jerking up against the table.
Jane bent sideways and looked down, "Are you okay? That must have hu—wait, what's going on?" she blinked when she saw Jasmine's foot laying on Jered's thighs, his hands clutching her toes in a vice-like grip.
"She demanded a foot massage, and I'm giving her one," Jered sighed, "A bad idea since my hands probably smell now."
Jasmine glared at him, "You liar! My feet don't smell!" she spat out indignantly.
"Sure, whatever you say."
"Sniff them! Sniff my feet!"
"You're disgusting," Jered pulled back, standing up. He turned towards Jane, whose face was scrunched up in thought, "I agree with what you said, mom. And don't worry, I'll limit myself to some protected random one-night stands with hookers. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting to go to."
That last tidbit prompted Jane to call out to him, but Jered ignored her. He wiped his mouth with a napkin and headed out. Jasmine cleared her throat and averted her gaze when Jane's searching eyes landed on her.
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