Currently, I am suffering. I just had my legs blown off from a plasma core explosion and was shot in the stomach with a bolter round. Yet nothing could compare to the pain I was experiencing right now. Matter of fact, this might be the worst pain I have ever felt, actually, this is my first time experiencing any kind of severe pain.

My back is killing me and I feel like somebody crushed me into a tight ball and forced me out of a small hole. I can’t see anything through my blurred vision, and my ears are ringing violently as noises bombard my ears like the cracking of railguns. I can’t make sense of anything, all my senses are under attack right now. I wasn’t a believer, but I was sure now, this was hell and I was damned to suffer here.

Suddenly, a warmth spread through my chest and out through my body, going all the way to the tips of my fingers. It felt like somebody had injected morphine straight into my solar plexus and it made me feel amazing. Almost instantly my body stopped hurting.

More importantly, I could finally see again. My vision corrected and staring at me intently was an ancient-looking old man with thick slabs of glass for glasses. He took them off and his bright emerald green eyes were almost shimmering. No… the iris of his eyes was actually swirling. He smiled at me and without a word he picked me up. Wait, how is that possible?!

I am 7 feet tall and weigh well over 300 pounds, but this old geezer just lifted me with ease. Confused and feeling… angry? I tried to push him away from me only to realize I couldn’t control my…tiny little brown arms. I was suddenly flipped like a pancake and was face down staring at the wooden ground when I got a swift smack to my rear. I attempted to scream out profanities at the old man but instead, my voice just came out as a high-pitched cry. This is awful, hell sucks.

My eyes began to water as the old man turned me back over. He smiled and said something in a language I didn’t understand. What the hell is going on? He is clearly human, and I know nearly all of Earth’s languages. What kind of dialect is that? He walked over a few steps and bent down, he handed me over to somebody else. I tried to scream at him but I was still just letting out a shrill cry.

The new person hugged me tightly to their soft chest and smiled down at me. Her white alabaster skin was gleaming with sweat, she had long blonde hair that went past her shoulders, her facial features were so sharp you might be able to cut yourself on them.

Her eyes… weren’t hazel, no instead they were almost like pools of gold. And just like the old man, her irises were also swirling around. My eyes drifted upwards, poking out of her matted down hair were…long dagger-like ears, just like an Elunari. I am so screwed.

She was an albino, she had to be. I didn’t know they could have blond hair and gold eyes but I guess anything is possible at this point. Even though I should be feeling an insurmountable amount of dread as the most dangerous Xeno known to Humanity held me to their chest, I felt awfully calm about all of this.

She was attempting to speak to me, her voice was so soft and warm. But I couldn’t understand a word she was saying. She picked me up and gave me a warm smile as she handed me over to a man.

He had long black hair, brown skin, and softer facial features. His eyes swam just like the others, but his were like pure purple amethysts. And coming out from the side of his head were droopy pointed ears, he too was smiling at me. Ah, man….

—

It’s been about two months since I’ve woken up. I have come to a startling conclusion about my current situation. I have somehow survived my battle with Elysium Squad and have been put into a Naval Intelligence artificial reality simulation. It’s the only thing that possibly makes sense. I had heard the Navy was working on something, but to think they could go this far was astounding.

Although I have never felt pain or half the emotions that currently swell inside of my head, they have perfectly managed to replicate what I imagine they should be like. I was unsure what exactly their goal was by making me go through all of this, rather than just ending my life, but I suppose I should play along for the time being.

Besides, the Navy had even managed to fully recreate what being an infant was like. Currently, I am nothing more than a baby. I had gotten a good look at my tiny body when I was being cradled. And to be expected, I was as useless as an infant. No matter how hard I tried I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t even control my arms and legs, let alone my bowels.

I have slept more in these last two months than I have in the last 15 years. I can not keep myself awake, especially after I am fed. All I could do was eat, sleep, defecate on myself, and drown in my own thoughts. I might actually be going mad.

I stuck to counting when I wasn’t thinking about my situation or crying out when I was hungry. Hunger… that was a new thing for me, I had never been hungry before, but now I feel like I could eat 40 trays of nutrient paste in one sitting.

I was currently laying down in a bed of sorts looking up at the ceiling, thinking about all of these things. The female Xeno walked over to me and began to wrap me up tightly in this INFERNAL CONTRAPTION. Whatever this teal cloth was made out of it gave me a slight tingling sensation on my skin, and the heat it gave off was always perfect. I didn’t have the strength to kick myself out of its warm embrace, while I drifted off to sleep once again.

—

Another 6 months sped by in the blink of an eye.

Finally, after months of boredom, I have finally strengthened my arms to where I can army crawl around. I had been doing everything in my power to gain this ability. With this new power, I can finally gain my freedom. I began to crawl at blinding speeds, dragging my body across the wooden floor. This is my second attempt at investigating this place. This home was rather large but it was only a single story. Everything was made of wood and was in shades of deep brown and green. It was almost like a tribal hut but this was very much a house.

Somehow they managed to blend together modern aspects with nature. There were also no squares or right angles present… Everything was curricular. The chairs, the couches, everything was a circle. Even the walls lacked right angles. I guess that is what makes this feel more like a hut than a house.

I had noticed a distinct lack of technology as well, it appears the simulation has me in some early time period. There are no lights, instead, the only light that reaches the windows is from outside. Not only that, the windows don't appear to be glass, but some kind of transparent wood-like material. I attempted to get a better look but I have yet to master the ability to stand yet, it seems strengthening my legs will take some time. From what I could see, the outside was covered by large green trees. It appeared to be less like a forest and more like a jungle but it was too difficult to tell without being able to look out the window.

I was speeding down the hallway when I noticed a door was left ajar that led to a room I had not yet been in. I forced my fat little body in between the door and the frame and slid myself in. The room was rather small and had a single window illuminating it. Inside was a giant dusty chest. Actually, the entire room was a dust hazard. I crawled over to the chest and attempted to get the lid open but I couldn’t even manage to get my fat little body up. Damn this body, why couldn’t they just make me a bit older.

Instead, I turned my attention to a piece of dusty grey cloth that was draped over something. I moved over to it and pulled down the cloth that was just barely in my reach. The cloth and what felt like pounds of dust threatened to smother my life away. I began coughing and thrashing around as I attempted to get the damn thing off of me.

I finally managed to roll out of the cloth when I looked up. On a wooden stand was a set of black armor, it was elegant and beautiful, it was more like a warrior’s armor than a knight. Its design was intricate yet efficient, the purple gems accenting the metal were eye-catching. I didn’t know much about medieval armor but I knew this was high quality. I also knew the wear probably favored mobility over defense. The armor almost reminded me of my armor.

Laying next to the armor stand was a long spear made of some black metal. It was also adorned with purple gems and matched the armor perfectly. The spear itself seemed to suck the light in from the room; it was such a deep black. I got lost in the armor’s craftsmanship as a voice called out to me,

“Kaladin, what are you doing in here you little speed demon. I swear I take my eyes off of you for just a second and you speed away.”

Shit. I’ve been discovered. These 8 months I have not only been strengthening my arms to crawl. I have also tasked myself with learning the spoken language. It took some time but I finally managed to grasp it. I have also learned what my name is, I am now Kaladin. The system has dictated that this Xeno witch is to be my mother. She scooped me up into her arms and began wiping the dust off my face.

“How did you manage to get in here, huh? Daddy must have left the door open,” She said with a hint of annoyance. But her smile quickly returned as she giggled, “But look at you, you are just so cute with all that dust on you!”

She finished cleaning my face as I gave her a deadpan stare. I couldn’t speak back to her. Any attempt of speech just came out as me gargling my own saliva and moaning like an idiot. This is how low I have fallen. She took me back to the kitchen and set me on the counter in a basket.

“Would you stop glaring at me, you are so cute when you smile, see,” she stretched my cheeks into a smile and began playing with my face. I’ll make you pay for this humiliation one day.

Just then my father walked into the house. He often disappeared for a few days and didn’t come back for a few days at a time. I figured he worked some kind of shift-based job that kept him out for days at a time.

“ Welcome home, dear.”

“Mmm. Good to be back, how is Kal doing?”

“I caught him crawling around in the storage room, he pulled down the cover on your armor. He could have been hurt, you know!” My mother chided.

“Sorry… I thought I closed it all the way before I left,” He said dejectedly.

I stared into my father’s eyes and attempted to create a telepathic link with him. ‘You should keep doors open more often for me’ I repeated in my head.

“I see he still likes staring into your soul just like you used to do,” he said while smiling and walking over to me.

“Hey… I never did that,” My mother pouted.

“I do wonder what he is thinking about, do you think he can understand us yet?” Asked my father as he stared down at me and began to tickle me under the armpits. Damn it. Why do I always giggle? I can’t control this sensation. THIS HURTS YOU KNOW?

“No way, he isn’t even a year old yet… but sometimes I do think he does somewhat understand us.”

Haha… only if you knew, witch. Simulation or not I am still a dangerous weapon. I was just in stasis, awaiting my time to strike. You two will rue the day when I can walk again!

“Well I have to make dinner, can you play with Kal for a little while?” Asked my mother.

“Why don’t I help you and he can sit and watch. Babies like watching their parents do stuff right?”

“Sure… maybe one day I can teach him to be a master chef, fit for a king!” Exclaimed my mother. My father turned around and gave my mother an empty stare with dead eyes,

“I doubt that,” My father said in a cold voice.

She looked like she was about to cry. I had only tasted a little bit of her cooking. It was some kind of rice porridge. I thought it tasted good, it reminded me of nutrient paste. But it looks like he didn’t agree.

My father consoled her and they began preparing the food. I didn’t really pay attention to what they were doing but I actively tried to listen to the names of items when they called out for them. It wasn’t until my mother went to start what I could only assume to be the stove, did my interest finally get peaked. She loaded the stove with wood, and without a match, lighter, or any flame source for that matter, set the wood on fire.

I didn’t see how she started the stove, but I knew it couldn’t have been gas or electricity. So what the hell did this witch just do? I did the only thing I could do and attempted to alert this witch to my confusion by crying out. She stopped and came over to me with a look of concern.

“I think he wants to see how you set the stove up hun,” My father said.

Yes, you are so smart for a Xeno, that is exactly what I wanted. You get me so well.

“Really? Do you think Kal responded to my magic? Maybe he is a fire mage!” She exclaimed practically jumping around with joy.

Wait, what? Fire Magic? Freakin Mages? Is the Navy really going this route, why on Earth would they be going this far?

The witch came over to me and summoned a small orange ball of fire out of thin air. The ball just sat in her hand as she tossed it around. She summoned two slightly different color balls of fire and began to juggle them. I could feel the heat from the balls from here as this witch just casually juggled them around like a circus clown. I was amazed, this looked so real, the Navy had gone so far as to include magic into their simulation.

Humanity really can do anything.