~1840~

By the time 1840 had begun, not much had improved in Claire’s relationships with those around her. Daniel, Anastasia and Aidan had all since returned home, but Garnet was still spending all of her nighttime hours with Nicolas. Though there had been no indication that the two were actually lovers, all things considered; yet they still seemed quite inseparable. Claire held onto the hope that he and Garnet had formed enough of a connection that it would at least keep him from succumbing to all his dark memories; though she couldn’t help worrying, as she had barely seen Nicolas at all for over a year now and that bond to her that he had claimed to need was all but a memory once more.

So three of her former lovers were now on another continent once more, and the human relationships she had tried to cultivate were also a thing of the past it seemed. Sebastian had just turned nineteen while both Garnet and Davina were awaiting their twenty-second birthdays later in the year; and none of the three ever found much cause to speak to Claire when their paths intersected during the crossover hours at The Loft. Sebastian was of course still blaming Claire for bringing the other Kindred into Garnet’s life and causing her to lose nearly all her interest in him. And Claire could only assume that he had spoken to his new companion, Davina about how he had held Claire responsible for that loss; considering the two continually avoided her when possible and the animosity in both their auras was obvious.

The one relationship Claire was still clinging to was the one she had with Sean of course; what little time that they even spent together that was. Sean was so busy with his duties that an unbound mortal like Garnet, with no reason to even go into the main house, hadn’t had any chances at all to try and interject herself into Claire’s last and thankfully strongest relationship. Though Claire couldn’t help wondering if Sean would eventually fall to this girl’s charms too as everyone else in her life inexplicably seemed to. It was true that she was only a mere mortal, but she was stunningly beautiful and somehow quite determined to throw herself at anyone Claire had ever taken to her bed at all.

As the first meeting of the year ended and the other Primogen made their way out of the meeting room, Claire was the last to leave as usual. As they all departed, Claire still remained in her seat directly to the right of their Prince and let out a sad sigh.

“Problem my dear?” Sean reacted to the sound which did well to stop him from getting to his feet just as he had been about to.

Claire took another moment to decide how to even try to explain what it was that she had been the most worried about that particular week. She finally decided on, “I think I need some advice.”

“Advice?” Sean asked with a raise of the brow, “about something you didn’t want to bring up at the meeting?” he asked curiously.

“It’s advice about my mortal… friends” she said, though her voice faltered slightly on the use of the last word, considering she hadn’t felt like she had any friends left at all lately.

Sean narrowed his eyes at that, “not sure that really falls under my jurisdiction” he admitted as he watched her with the same curious look.

Claire sighed again, “it has nothing to do with your role specifically; it’s more a personal matter and… I honestly have no one else to talk to” she added more quietly, her sadness at her own words apparent.

“A personal matter having to do with your mortal friends?” he repeated, “I was under the impression that you were no longer very close to any of the mortals in our little town anymore; especially considering you just said as much.”

“Exactly” Claire paused another moment, “I’m not close to them anymore, which is why I’m not even sure how to approach the matter at hand.”

“Which matter would that be?” Sean asked with the same hesitance as he continued watching her.

Another pause to find her words, “the last few nights I’ve caught both Sebastian and Davina distraught and even in tears on occasion; only when I caught them at such moments, they quickly turned and rushed from my presence. I’ve never gotten the chance to ask either what is wrong and have no clue how to even ask, considering neither of them seem to want anything to do with me” she attempted to summarize as she turned her eyes back to where Sean looked back at her questioningly.

After a pause, Sean offered some response, “they’re mortals. They tend to get hurt and occasionally even weep. Not sure how that really is something that… you need to try to fix” he settled on.

Claire just scoffed as she looked back at him, “so now we no longer care if we see other people in pain?”

Sean was a bit caught by that before he found more words, “I’m not saying that exactly; I just mean that you shouldn’t feel like it’s your duty to fix every sadness that ever occurs in the lives of your mortal friends” he then added more quietly, “especially friends that don’t seem to really want to share their sadness with you anyway.”

Claire just sniffled as she looked away again, “I still consider them friends even if they don’t feel the same; and I at least want to know what is wrong, just in case it is something I could fix.”

Sean couldn’t help a small smile as he just looked at her for a long moment, “so almost 300 years and you still want to try and fix every single problem for every single person in your life; be they Kindred or mortal, friend or not…” he couldn’t help his expression filling with equal parts admiration and disbelief. “No one could ever accuse you of giving into that loss of humanity, Claire. You’re more human than most of the mortals out there” he added as he leaned in to kiss her temple.

“I’m not sure if you’re being complimentary or condescending” she responded quietly as she sniffled again.

“Come on, Claire; give me a little more credit than that” he returned, still managing to hold the smile. He then had to add, “and you said you want to at least find out what has them so seemingly upset, but that they won’t share it with you…”

“Hence the problem” Claire returned.

“And you came to me?” Sean raised a brow.

Claire looked back at him quickly then in response to that somewhat wry tone he had spoken with, “like I said, you’re the only person I have left to talk to.”

“So there wasn’t another reason why I’m the one you’re turning to… to find out some hidden secret locked inside the mind of a mortal?” he added pointedly.

“Like I would ever ask you to do that?” Claire scoffed in disbelief as she looked away.

“No you wouldn’t ever ask; but it doesn’t mean that isn’t actually what you’re hoping I’ll do” Sean stated knowingly.

“You know I hate the fact that you can do that” Claire reminded him, though still refused to meet his eyes.

“Yet here you are telling a mind reader that there’s some secret you want to know” Sean stated in the same quiet tone. Though Claire only scoffed again. Sean then sighed before speaking, “well you could always just compel them to tell you what you want to know” Sean offered as she cast a dark look back his way. He then spoke again, “so the real problem is that you’re not sure which is less palatable; forcing them to spill their secrets to you or letting me steal them for you” he stated plainly.

“Forget it” she growled as she got to her feet and rushed from the room, leaving Sean to sigh heavily as the door slammed shut behind her retreating form.

Giving in to Claire as he always eventually seemed to, Sean made his way to the tavern not long after his discussion with her. Garnet had been up at the Toreador house as usual, and Davina was not performing that night. Though Sebastian and one of their servants were tending to the night shift at Raven’s Loft that evening; and both of them looked rather startled as Sean stepped through the tavern door, which was something that had happened so rarely in the twenty-seven years since he had bought the building for Claire originally.

“Claire’s not here” was Sebastian’s shaky greeting as Sean approached, causing the young man to feel that immediate awe at his presence.

“I’m aware; we do share a house, after all” Sean stated wryly.

“So why are you here then?” Sebastian swallowed a lump in his throat at the way Sean’s eyes studied him closely before a clear apprehension entered them.

“Mind if we chat upstairs?” Sean stated warily as he continued to watch the nineteen year old who looked even more like Kristofer than he had the last time Sean had laid eyes on him.

A tangible fear was obvious in Sebastian then as he shakily nodded and started up the stairs, sure that some horrible encounter was about to happen; despite all of Claire’s assurances that he had nothing to fear from the Kindred and that Sean himself was the one responsible for continuing to make that hold true.

Once they reached the office and Sebastian shakily closed the door behind them, his nervousness forced him to ask “am I being sent away or something?”

“Well, that wasn’t my original plan when I came here tonight” Sean returned as he sat down in Claire’s chair behind the desk with a regretful sigh.

“Wasn’t?” Sebastian let out a shaky breath, “does that mean it is now?”

Sean just shook his head with further regret, but then had to ask, “didn’t Claire give you that powdery mixture nearly two years ago?”

“What?” Sebastian asked, more than thrown by the question.

“She told me she was giving you that powder, as well as instructions on its use and how to make more…” Sean began as he looked back at Sebastian again, “but you gave it to Garnet” he added as more of a statement than a question.

“What?” Sebastian repeated with further confusion as well as a slight blush.

“And you didn’t keep the instructions as you didn’t really plan on Davina” Sean sighed heavily.

Sebastian just shook his head with a combination of confusion and disbelief, and had to ask “are you a mind reader or something?”

Sean didn’t answer in words, though his look downward was an answer in itself. He then sighed once more as he turned his eyes back to the boy, “so Davina doesn’t know what this child could grow up to be.”

Sebastian let out a bit of a gasp mixed with a sound of regret, “it doesn’t make for very good pillow talk to tell a girl that your twin sister is a six foot tall wolf who nearly killed you just because you made her angry” he retorted, giving up on his surprise at Sean’s ability to see into his head, and instead moving on to his desperation about the situation he now found himself in.

“So neither of you planned on or want this child; you because of what it could become and her because it would end her stage career” Sean stated somberly.

Sebastian scoffed again, though the sound was mainly an attempt at biting back deeper emotions, “why talk to me at all if you can already see everything that’s in my head?” he asked for lack of any other words that he could form right then.

“Well, I honestly didn’t know what I’d see. I just know that Claire said that you had been upset and refused to tell her why. And that upset Claire; so I came here to see if I could find out what exactly the problem was” Sean stated in the same quiet tone.

“So why didn’t Claire just pull all of this out of my head?” Sebastian asked with bitterness added to his sadness and worry.

“Because Claire doesn’t do that” was the only answer Sean offered, “the point is though, that neither of you want this child, so something has to be done” he added with an even deeper regret touching his tone then.

“Something?” Sebastian repeated, “like what? Because we’ve been trying to figure that out all week” Sebastian returned with that same desperation.

“Well you have to either decide to take the chance that it won’t be like your sister and take Davina and get out of my town before that child could ever turn… or…” Sean faltered a bit, trying to make his mouth form the words.

“Or what? ’Cause I would really like another option. I don’t want to raise one of those things; I know what happened to me, and my dad” he added more quietly.

“And my friends, and what almost happened to Claire” Sean added more quietly then.

“So what is my other option, Sean?” Sebastian asked with as much force as he could muster.

“There is the chance that the child won’t ever turn; you and your father never did” Sean attempted some small reassurance.

“I know how hard it was for dad to even be close to me and Sophie. I never understood it ’til after she changed. But now I totally understand why he couldn’t let himself think of us as just his children. He knew what we might turn into” Sebastian sniffled slightly, “I don’t know if I could ever try to raise a child knowing that it may become… that” he admitted shakily.

Sean sighed heavily again as he could hardly make himself argue for saving a creature that could grow up to destroy everyone he cared about. But there was always the chance that the child would never turn. He swallowed again as he tried to make himself supply Sebastian with that other option; though the words stuck in his throat as he couldn’t help thinking of another child whose life had been ended before it was even born, accidental though it had been that time. Though accidentally causing an unborn child’s death was something very different than taking the option to willfully do so; and Claire had tortured herself for nearly 300 years when she thought she had done such a thing herself.

“Even if it doesn’t turn; it would carry the same possibility to pass it on, just like I do” Sebastian whispered as he forced back more emotion then. “So if you know some way, any way to help… please Sean. I do not want to bring another one of those monsters into the world.”

After another long pause, Sean finally forced his voice to work again, “I’m not going to tell you what choice to make, Sebastian. This has got to be your decision, and preferably Davina’s too” another slight sigh, “all I can do is give you both options. Either you take Davina and leave this town permanently or…”

Sean stopped a moment to reach for a glass that Sebastian had left behind on the desk earlier. He then moved his fangs to his wrist and tore a gash in it, wincing from a pain that wasn’t exactly physical. Ignoring the horror on Sebastian’s face, Sean let several drops of his blood come to rest in the puddle of liquid that remained at the bottom of the glass.

“What are you doing…?” Sebastian stammered.

With another heavy sigh as he forced back his own emotions then, Sean made himself give that answer, “if you make Davina a drink in this glass, with my blood in it… it will stop her from being able to bring the child to term” another deep sigh as he slid the glass across the desk, “when it wears off in a few months, she will lose the baby” Sean swallowed another lump in his throat, “I’m not ever going to tell you that this is the right choice; but I have to at least make sure you have a choice at all” he finished in a whisper as he left Sebastian behind with those heavy thoughts as well as that powerful blood that could bring both life… and death.