Oh, John, You’ve Gained So Much Weight!

John and Mary Smith strolled along a lake where they first met years ago.

“Look, Mary. Litter’s everywhere. Why doesn’t anyone complain?”

“Oh, John, honey, you’re such a pessimist today.”

“Come on, Mary, don’t you see what’s happening?”

She shook her head.

“Mary, are you wearing those contacts again? What do you see?”

“It’s so beautiful, John. Sparkling water, cute ducklings, and a rainbow!”

“For how long?” John stared into her eyes.

“Since we first met, honey. They breathe and never need changing.”

“Wait! What? Can you take them off?”

“Sure, alright ... Oh, John, you’ve gained so much weight!”