I dragged my luggage into the Transport Bay and the door hissed closed behind me, the seam disappeared and it became solid wall once more.

It was dark inside. The room was lit by flashing lights on instruments panels that covered the walls, and small glowing screens built into an island station. A sterile, burnt smell hung in the air; my skin became prickly and goose-bumped from static electricity.

As my eyes adjusted to the dark, I saw a glass cube in the middle of the room, like a walk-in shower. Wires and metal tubing connected the glass box to a control station, where two figures were seated with their noses buried in the console.

"Hello?" There was a hum in the room from the machines, low-pitched but constant, and loud enough to muffle my voice. I tried again, a little louder:

"Excuse me?"

The two seated figures sprung out of their seats, startled. "It's the Earth attorney. He's here!" a voice said. There was some fumbling in the dark as another voice answered. "Inform Lord Farkvold immediately!"

"Lord High Councilman!"

"Don't yell! Just press the button!" Something crashed to the floor.

"Just a moment, Earth attorney! Did you press it? "

"I think so – Is this the right one?"

"Oh, geez. Just hang on, let me get the lights –"

Tubes overhead flickered on, bathing the room in harsh white light. The Bay was smaller than I thought: three walls of instrument panels, filled with dials and buttons and screens, and a fourth wall with a windowless door.

The creatures who had been sitting at the console were now standing stiffly behind their chairs, at attention. But there was actually only one of them, not two. Only one body, that is, with two identical cyclops-heads sprouting up from the shoulders.

"Hail Slatt!" The two heads said simultaneously.

"Yes, hello," I said politely. As a lawyer and a believer in democracy, it's against my nature to hail anyone.

"Lord Farkvold will be here shortly," the head on the left said. Both of the heads were bald, with smooth, grey skin, bulbous noses, a single yellow eye with a black iris in the center of each forehead. The two heads shared a thin-framed body - two scrawny but capable arms and a pair of insect legs.

"Great, thank you."

The creature looked off-balance, top-heavy. Or creatures, I should say. It seemed to be two separate aliens, Siamese twins. I wondered how it, they, managed to stand upright without toppling to the side.

"So," I broke an awkward silence. "Are you, uh, scientists?"

"We are Transport Agents," said the head on the right.

"We will be arranging your travel to the surface of Azodii," the left head continued.

The door opened, and the two-headed alien straightened. A pint-size creature marched in, a mop of well-brushed yellow fur, the size of a human toddler with a metal horn hung across its shoulder. The fur puff placed the tapered horn to unseen lips, and a tinny voice echoed through the room:

"ATTENTION! ALL RISE FOR FARKVOLD, LORD HIGH COUNCILMAN OF THE INTERPLANETARY TERRITORIES OF SLATT!"

The voice was so loud that it made the translator device implanted in my back molar vibrate. I felt every word as the message traveled through the nerve in my tooth to my brain stem; like a painful cavity that was yelling at me. The two-headed Transport Agent and I were already standing, so I don't know why we needed to be told to rise in the first place.

My skull throbbed; my atoms were still wobbly from the portal jump back at the Blarney Stone. I wondered about the toll all this alien biotech must be taking on my body. Hopefully, it wasn't giving me brain damage, or worse.

My ears were still ringing as the yellow fur creature retreated, disappeared back into the doorway, and Lord Farkvold took his place inside.

I'm used to seeing Lord Farkvold in the High Council Chamber, where he presides over hearings from an elevated platform. Inside the Chamber, he looks enormous: perched high above, behind his stone and metal podium. But up close, he's even more terrifying – nine feet of bony exoskeleton, draped with ancient robes that dragged on the floor behind him.

I don't know what race of alien Lord Farkvold is, or what planet he comes from, but I've never seen another of his kind. His form is ghoulish; his blue-gray face, with its metallic skin, insectoid mandibles and shark teeth, is something out of a nightmare.

The Lord Councilman stood silently. He lowered his ceremonial hood and surveyed the room: black, serpentine eyes moving from left to right.

"I was expecting you earlier, Earth attorney," Lord Farkvold's voice was unnervingly calm.

"I apologize, your Lordship," I felt sweat building up under my ski jacket, and under the suit beneath that. "I came as soon as I spoke to my partner, Mr. Todd."

Farkvold's dead eyes landed on the two-headed alien. "I see you've met the twins, Eon and Murp."

"Yes," I said, smiling. "They've been very helpful."

"That's not true, your Lordship!" the left head blurted. "We've said nothing to the Earth attorney. We've told him nothing!"

"Quiet, Murp!" the right head, presumably Eon, said. "I think the Earth attorney was just being polite."

"Yes, I was," I said. "But it's true, Lord Farkvold. Eon and Murp haven't told me anything. In fact, I still don't know anything about what's going on. All I know is that Henry is on Azodii. I assume I'm supposed to join him there?"

Farkvold's eyes became slits. "Mr. Todd didn't give you details of this mission?"

"I'm afraid he didn't get the chance, your Lordship. Our call was a bad connection."

Lord Farkvold closed his eyes and shook his oblong head. "That is why you should not rely on primitive Earth technology!" He started a slow pace around the perimeter of the Bay. "If you were using Slatt-certified implants to communicate, you would not have such issues. Instead, you try to bounce radio waves across galaxies to speak to one another. Ridiculous!"

"I wish you had contacted me via the molar transmitter," I said. "If this is something urgent or timely. As much as I… dislike the implant, it is the fastest way to get a hold of us if there's an emergency."

"This is not an emergency, Marshall of Earth," Lord Farkvold curled his chitin lips into something that resembled a smirk. "I mean to say, there is no need for urgency. But the matter is quite important."

Farkvold turned to Eon-Murp. "You two – contact the Transportation Authorities on Azodii. Get the necessary clearances for an energy portal to the surface, close to the Palace of Bal. We shall send Mr. Marshall within the hour."

"Yes, Lord High Councilman!" said Eon.

"Yes, Lord High Councilman!" echoed Murp.

"Marshall of Earth - follow me," Lord Farkvold walked toward the door. "We have much to discuss."

I grabbed my briefcase, left my bag, and followed Farkvold, careful not to step on the train of his trailing robes.

"Hail Slatt!" Eon-Murp said, in unison, as we left the room.