"The Azodii prayed for thousands of years," the tall Narrator continued, his voice booming from center stage. I tried to shake off the sensation that I could see the words floating out of his mouth, as well as hear them. "They prayed for a way to defeat cruel Mother Frost. And in the Year of the Zoop, one-hundred and fifty-three years ago, this very day – their prayers were answered!"

The stage went dark. High above us, projected onto the roof of the Main Hall, was a bright red light like a laser-point. There was absolute silence in the Hall as the light descended and grew larger, swelling to the size of a small car before it dropped onto the stage with a loud crash.

"This Tchugg is getting to my head," Henry muttered. "Did that just actually happen?"

"I think so. And, Jesus, stop drinking it, Henry! We have work to do later tonight."

"Hey, you're the one who wanted to come to the party, Marsh!" Henry started to giggle as he spoke.

"I didn't think we'd be doing alien molly!" I kept my voice low, glancing over my shoulder to make sure Premier Oato didn't overhear. "I had something a little more low-key in mind –"

The red box on stage shook, and suddenly I forgot all about our paperwork and the Acquisition contracts. I just desperately wanted to see the rest of the show, the rest of the Heart Ceremony. Some part of my brain wondered how long it would take for the effects of the Tchugg to wear off, but mostly I was transfixed by the glowing red box on stage, and the faceless Narrator who was now kneeling next to it.

The Narrator broke the silence. "Far beyond the Qwazlar Moons," his voice echoed. "And beyond the Zaprath Belt, lies the Planet Hon – a distant, ever-warm land, surrounded by fifty-six suns.

"And from this land of fifty-six suns came a hero: the Great Gar-Mel!"

Pyrotechnics accompanied an explosion of loud, electronic music. Gar-Mel of Hon, bearded and grinning, emerged from the red spaceship through a cloud of smoke, his hands in the air, taking in the crowd like the heavyweight wrestling champion making an entrance.

The actor playing Gar-Mel looked like the statue, bearded and with antler-horns, his skin painted a pale yellow. He wore a thick spacesuit, all plastic and rubber, with yellow gloves and boots, leaving only his horned head exposed. The music sounded vaguely familiar. To my surprise I recognized the tune – is was a guitar solo that I listened to as a kid. Something by a 1980's rock-and-roll hair-band.

"Hey!" Henry said. "Isn't that -"

"Yeah."

"It's from that song…" Neither of us could name the song, but we both knew the riff.

"Well," I said. "Maybe the music video was sent to Azodii through an Oxtaile satellite broadcast. Back in the day. Just like your TV show."

"Sure. Either that," Henry said. "Or we're hallucinating it!"

Henry yelled the last part because the Hall grew loud with thunderous applause and cheering, drowning out the music. Parksnip Oato appeared to my right, whistling loudly for Gar-Mel, pointing and encouraging me to do the same. Oato had taken off his antler helmet, so the Premier was now just a hairy blue-skinned man in a speedo.

"Hi, everyone!" the actor playing Gar-Mel said as the applause died down. He looked around the stage, "I am a great Space Explorer, from a distant planet! Tell me, what planet is this?"

The other performers slipped into their various roles: two of the bundled actors, carrying a third smaller bundle, stepped up to Gar-Mel.

"Greetings to you, Space Explorer. This is the Planet Azodii. I am King Azodii-All. This is my wife, Queen Azodii-All, and our son Azodii-Bal."

The actor gestured to the small bundle. "That's the King as a baby," Parksnip pointed and said into my ear. "See?"

"Yes," I said, trying my best to smile politely as the room twisted and morphed under the influence of Tchugg. "I see. Very cute."

"King Azodii-All, my name is Gar-Mel, of the Planet Hon." Gar-Mel stepped downstage, rubbing the shoulders of his spacesuit and pantomiming cold. "The Azodii must be strong and mighty people, to survive such harsh cold!"

"We do our best to survive, Gar-Mel," the actor playing the King looked down. "But we are at the mercy of cruel Mother Frost. Last year, the Frost took our other child, our young daughter. I may be the King, the most powerful Azodii on the planet. But alas! Even I am unable to defeat wicked Mother Frost!"

"King Azodii-All, I may be able to help," Gar-Mel strutted across the stage, looking out as if surveying the land. "On my planet, Hon, we have technology that allows planets to heat themselves."

"Im-possible!" King Azodii-All gave a hearty stage-laugh, and the chorus followed his lead. "We are a planet of ice, Gar-Mel! Our nearest sun is millions of kilometers away!"

Gar-Mel walked to the King and grabbed the King's hands, placing them against his chest. "Outside I am cold," Gar-Mel said to the King. "But inside my body is warm.

"Your highness, the heart of your planet is hot. Just as we hold warmth inside, so does your planet hold heat in its core.

"Allow me to show you how to harness this heat, this energy. For while it is true, that you will never defeat Mother Frost, you can escape from her. You and your people can live in warmth and comfort."

"And what if you are wrong, Space Explorer?" The King asked. "What if you damage our beloved planet?"

"If I am wrong, your Highness," Gar-Mel drew a large dagger from his suit. He knelt and presented it to the King, continuing the theatrical bravado. "Then you may cut me open! And use my blood to warm your child."

"That's a bit much," Henry said, soft enough that Oato didn't hear him.

The actor playing the King grabbed the knife. "Very well, Gar-Mel! Show us! Show us the heat and warmth you speak of!"

"Ooh, this is the best part!" Premier Oato elbowed me in the ribs. "Watch – they're going to act out how Gar-Mel drilled into the heart of planet Azodii. And then – then we actually open the portal to the core."

I started to piece together the bits of Azodii lore. "So the Heart Ceremony –"

"We open the Heart of Planet Azodii," Premier Oato nodded. "The heated core that Gar-Mel drilled into. It's our energy source – renewable, eternal combustion, right below our feet. Oh, look! Here we go!"