《Inalienable Rights: The Azodii Necktie Negotiation》Chapter 20
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Lady Denebola's silver earrings bobbed as she wept. I noticed for the first time that the metal balls on her earrings and necklace were actually small pieces of balled-up aluminum foil. As I watched the foil jiggle under her earlobes, an idea came to me.
"Instead of waiting around for a trial," I said. "Henry and I can help you find whoever murdered Zerk."
Lady Denebola stopped sobbing and squinted at me through teary eyes. "How?"
"Doctor Sylk, was there a small label on the back of the necktie? With writing on it?"
"There was," Sylk pressed a few keys on his tablet and read off of a floating notebook. "Let's see... Yes. The label was made of white cloth, the same worm-fabric as the rest of the tie, with black-stitched lettering sewn into it."
"Did you translate the writing?" I asked.
"I did," Sylk read off of the notebook. "It's the Italian variation of the Latin Earth language. It says: Vicchady Number Four-Thirty-Eight."
Lady Denebola placed a hand across her forehead and stumbled backward, swooning. "Four hundred and thirty-eight!" she wailed. "Is that how many times they bled my poor husband? Oh!" Lady Denebola swayed to the side, Major Kale wrapped an arm around her shoulders to keep her upright.
"There there, your Highness," Kale said.
"What else does it say, Doctor Sylk? On the label?" I asked him. "What does it say below that?"
"Do not wash or iron –"
"And below that!"
"Via Cenotti, Rozzano, Milan, Italy."
Henry turned to Premier Oato. "Is the cruiser that dropped me off still here?"
"Yes, the Klargung Cruiser is parked in our hangar. It was to take you back to Earth the day after tomorrow."
"Take us back now!" Henry said. "Fly us into Milan, to the Vicchady offices."
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"The neckties are being manufactured somewhere in Italy," I spoke directly to Lady Denebola. "That's where they're using Zerk's blood as dye for designs. Take us to the Vicchady offices. Henry and I will find out where the ties are being made, and who is making them."
"Hmph! That sounds very convenient," Lady Denebola said. "Instead of waiting in prison for your hearing, you want us to take you back to your home planet?"
"We'll be under your supervision the entire time, of course," Henry bowed his head. "Marsh and I understand that we're still under arrest."
"Vicchady is still manufacturing those ties, your Highness," I said. "If that really is Zerk's blood that they're using, then there's a chance your husband is still alive."
Lady Denebola opened her mouth but said nothing. Parksnip Oato shifted his eyes back and forth between Lady Denebola and us.
"We cannot go to Earth," Major Kale said. "It is a security risk. As you are aware, Premier Oato, the Azodii Militia does not own any Biological Manipulators. The M2400's were outside of our budget. If we go to Earth, we'll stick out due to our pigmentation. We will draw too much attention."
"SO WHAT?" Lady Denebola yelled. "Who cares if we're spotted? If Zerk is alive –"
"Humans are bloodthirsty savages," Kale said, eyeballing Henry and me. "And xenophobic to boot. If they see an Azodii, they are likely to form a crowd and tear us apart. Human weapons are primitive, but they are effective. Especially in the hands of a psychotic race of creatures."
I thought it was an ironic accusation, considering that a somewhat psychotic crowd of Azodii had just nearly torn Henry and I to pieces. But I opted for a different tactic:
"We can help you," I said. "Henry and I will go into the Vicchady offices. Let us act on your behalf. We'll, uh…"
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"We'll serve them with a lawsuit," Henry continued. "Trademark violation, or something. Marsh and I can cook something up while we're en route."
I remembered Lady Denebola's earrings. "Plus, the planet Earth is rich with aluminum," I said. A sparkle appeared in Premier Oato's eye at my mention of the metal. "Henry and I can secure a quantity for you. As a gift."
Oato looked at the tear-stained face of Lady Denebola, her eyes seemed to plead with him. "Zerk was a good man," Oato said as he turned and hobbled toward me. "He was beloved by the people of Azodii. We owe it to Zerk, to his memory, to bring his murderers to justice. We should… recover his remains."
Major Kale nodded and stiffened. "Private!" she barked at a nearby soldier. "Notify the hangar: the Klargung Cruiser that was chartered by the Slatt Territories will be leaving shortly."
"Yes, Major!"
"Where is the pilot?" I asked. "Is he available to fly us?"
"The pilot is with the ship," Major Kale said. "The cruiser pilot is fully artificial."
"Wait, really?" Henry said. "Sharon is artificial?"
"If that is the name of the pilot, then yes," Oato said. "All Klargung ships are piloted by artificial lifeforms."
"Oh," Henry shrugged. "I didn't realize she was a robot. I mean, we didn't talk much. But she seemed nice."
Oato turned to walk out of the cell. "We'll leave within the hour," he said over his shoulder.
"I'm coming with you!" Lady Denebola sniffled. "I'd just as soon push these two attorneys out into the snow myself and let the frost vultures finish them. But, if Zerk's murderers are on Planet Earth, then I need to be there when you hunt them down."
Oato didn't try to argue, he extended his arm and they left the room together. Doctor Sylk followed them out; Major Kale and her soldiers stayed behind.
"Can someone undo these shackles?" Henry asked her. "Oh, and we're going to need to change our clothes, of course."
~~
"Do you think our molar-translators will work on Italian?" Henry pulled at the laces on his Wolf & Shepherd black leather Oxfords.
"They translate every language in the galaxy, I think," I took a wrinkled charcoal Ferragamo blazer out of my gym bag and flapped it in the air to get some of the shape back. "I don't know why Earth Italian should be an exception."
The Azodii Militia had given us our luggage so we could change clothes before the flight to Earth. Henry and I brought backup suits, naturally. Which was fortunate, because our original outfits were now a pile of expensive shredded rags.
"Move, humans!" Major Kale burst into the cell. "We are leaving at once. You can finish dressing on the Klargung Cruiser."
The Azodii soldiers grabbed our bags and pushed us outside, handling us harshly to remind us that we were still prisoners.
"This way," Major Kale pointed down a side hallway with darkened lights.
"Short cut?" said Henry.
"It's the service tunnel," Kale said. "The crowd is still letting out from the Heart Ceremony, and they're full of Tchugg. I'm not sure we'll be able to fight them off if they spot the two of you. We'll stick to the service halls for safety."
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"You Gave Me A New Purpose In Life."
8 105

