“Rest in power, `Big T,’ ” said Nick as he wiped some blood splatter off of his glasses.

Mallory then walked over Tanner who was still groaning on the floor. She kicked him once again and threw the Blade of Virtue beside him.

“Guards!” she yelled.

Several guards were already on their way due to the earlier commotion. When they entered Mallory began her charade.

“Tanner stole Talon’s Celestial weapon and attacked him!” she said. “Tanner’s down for the moment but you’ve got to stop him before he recovers!”

The guards saw Tanner lying on the floor with the Blade of Virtue next to him. Mallory had knocked the wind out of him and likely broken several of his ribs so he couldn’t speak.

“Watch out! His strength is otherworldly, I think he’s possessed by an infernos spirit! Hurry, take him out before he regains his power!” yelled Mallory.

Tanner lifted his head up to try and say something but it was too late. The guards butchered him where he lay.

“My sister was wounded by Tanner,” said Nick as he began his part of the act. “We’re going to rush her to the house of healing.”

Mallory was covered in Talon’s blood so this lie didn’t need much effort to seem convincing.

“It’s bad,” Mallory groaned as the trio left the room as more guards arrived.

Once they were clear of the Big Bobble, Mallory looked at Roland, “I hope you had enough Bobble Tea, because I think we’ll be getting a lifetime ban from the Big Bobble after today.”

***

After the group had returned to the inn where they had been staying, Mallory cleaned herself up and they quickly grabbed their belongings before heading to the pier district. They had already purchased boarding passes for a boat that was departing later that night. An air of confusion was beginning to spread through Bright Port as news of Talon Tabor’s death began to travel. However, it didn’t have any have any effect on their departure.

As the ship sailed into the night sky and Bright Port’s lights faded into the distance, Roland finally had a chance to reflect on the events of the last several hours. While Talon was a reprehensible being, Roland was not comfortable with how the events had unfolded. Did Tanner deserve to die as well? He questioned whether what they had done was even right, was it his place to pass judgment and aid in the execution of Talon and Tanner. Nothing was as clear cut as the books he loved at Sages’ Keep. As the last trace of Bright Port’s lights vanished, he noticed that Mallory was now standing behind him.

“Ugh, you’re not having an existential crisis are you?” said Mallory. ”Staring into the dark night like it’s an abyss that’s now consuming your soul. That's some pretty clichéd shit.”

Roland didn’t say anything.

Mallory put her back against the railing as she surveyed the deck of the ship. She took out a pipe. It was similar to the one that she had been sharing at the party yesterday. She lit it and began smoking, tilting her head towards the sky in-between drags. It was cold on the deck and they were the only two people outside.

“It must be exhausting to be so consistently lame,” said Mallory. “Nut up already. Navel-gazing, introspection, self-doubt - they will never accomplish anything. You want to rid the world of evil? You do it through just acts. When Sages’ Keep is rebuilt, they’ll write about us as if we were heroes sent by the Celestials themselves. No ambiguity for the readers.”

“And Tanner?” said Roland.

“They’ll probably just leave him out of the history books. Bit player, really.”

“That’s not what I meant. Did he deserve his fate?”

“Yup.”

Roland waited for Mallory to continue but she didn’t.

“Really?” he said. “Care to elaborate?”

“As usual the explanation is simple: He came from a wealthy family and could have lived a comfortable life. Yet he chose to work with Talon because it was exciting to be near someone so powerful. He also thought his ventures with Talon would allow him to exceed his already lofty station in life. He knew what he was getting into and paid the price for it.”

Roland reflected for a moment, “It seems like there are a lot of similarities with my current situation.”

“Nah, you had no idea what kind of shit you were getting into,” said Mallory before she paused and took another drag on her pipe. “Also, unlike Talon, I’m actually exciting to be around.”

Mallory began to chuckle at that last sentence causing her to choke a bit as she inhaled her pipe. She wheezed out the word “smooth” before regaining her composure. Intentional or not, this made Roland smile and shake his head, lightening his spirits a little.

Eventually he returned to staring into the sky while Mallory continued to smoke her pipe. After several minutes of scanning through the stars, he saw what he thought looked like the silhouette of a snake swimming across the moon. It quickly disappeared into the dark sky so he wasn’t exactly sure what it was. Perhaps exhaustion was allowing his mind to see things that simply weren’t there. Also, weren’t optical illusions a normal part of seafaring? That was the impression Roland had from all of the books that he’d read about pirates and adventure on the high seas.

These swirling thoughts were interrupted when Roland heard the sound of the door to the main deck opening. He turned to look and saw a man start walking over to where him and Mallory were leaning. It was Nick.

“Hey there champ, why so glum?” said Nick as gave Roland a pat on his shoulder.

“You don’t seem very upset about Tanner,” said Roland. “Wasn’t he your friend?”

“Tanner? Nah man, he never picked up a round. Not once. Now Jace, he’s a bro’s bro. Gonna run the Farmers Market while I’m away. Didn’t even need to ask him twice.”

The usual nonsense from Nick, but he continued.

“Tanner, though … that dude got after it. Story old as time, one second you’re hitting bobble racing bets and planning orgies, then, before you know it, your rib cage gets kicked in by some random chick and you’re summarily executed by a bunch of incompetent guards.”

“I wouldn’t worry about meeting your end as simply a hanger-on,” said Mallory, returning to the subject of Roland’s fate. “You ever hear of the Queen’s tournament?”

“Of course,” said Roland. “Queen Eliza holds it ever year. Up and coming fighters from across Relmgard compete in it.”

“More importantly, narrator, the winner has been known to get an invitation to Serene castle to train with the Queen herself,” said Mallory.

Eliza has always been the most popular member of the Chosen. The unique story of a tomboyish princess who travelled the world fighting evil captured the imaginations of so many. Now she rules the kingdom of Serene as its Queen. There is no shortage of fighters from across Relmgard that grew up hearing about her battle prowess and beauty. Every year, they travel to Serene with the aim of impressing her.

“So what are you saying?” said Roland. “You’ll win the tournament and hope to get invited to meet Eliza in person? That doesn’t seem like much of a plan.” Roland was already dismissive of the idea.

“Productive input as usual. Ugh. If the champion is a woman, they won’t be invited to personally meet with the Queen. She only likes young men. However, I am going to win the tournament but I’m not going to enter it,” said Mallory. “You’ll enter the tournament.”

Roland scoffed, “What? Are you going to train me to fight? Unless you can trick all of my opponents into using cursed weapons, that seems futile. Or are you going to disguise yourself as me? To be convincing that would require fairly strong illusory magic. There’s no way cantrips are that powerful.”

“Those are some pretty uninspiring ideas,” said Mallory as she reached into the bag of holding and pulled out a book. It was dark but Roland could make out the title: This Time We’ll Swap More Than Fluids!

It was a story about body swapping. Roland had read several books from this subgenre of erotica when he was studying cantrips at Dire Fortress. This magic was more powerful than the simple spells he had been using and thus required reagents. Nevertheless, he knew the spell would probably work if he had the right components.

“You can’t be serious,” said Roland.

“Do you get your hackneyed idioms out of a book or are all your sayings really this unoriginal, Rol?” said Mallory. “We just murdered someone with quasi-Celestial powers using an elaborate plan that came down to a precisely timed toy bobble toss. But body swapping is in the realm of absurdity?”

“No,” said Roland. “It’s just that I read that book before and the two characters are only able to body swap after they have sex. I mean, it’s right there in the title.”

“That’s the line you won’t cross?”

“No, I mean of course it would be fine-”

“Oh, would it? Are you going to suggest that we need to practice first, though?” Mallory took a drag on her pipe and exhaled into the cold night. “Anyway, based on all the cantrips you’ve used so far, magic seems like a bunch of improvised bullshit to me. So don’t fret the details, pervert. I’m sure any bodily fluid will work.”

Although it was dark, Roland recognized the look on Mallory’s face. He’d seen it twice before. The first time was right after she had cut off the hands of that warrior at the inn shortly after Roland had just met her. The second time was several hours earlier when she was licking Talon’s blood off of her fingers. The look faded as she returned to her pipe.

“You saw it in the sky didn’t you?” said Mallory.

“That snake? It was real?” said Roland.

“Yes. It was a dragon flying towards Bright Port.”

Mallory began to tense up. She put away her pipe.

“I didn’t think he’d come so quickly,” said Mallory. “He hated Talon and would have been happy to see him killed. Perhaps he is still concerned with the prophecy. Of course that asshole would ruin the end of my perfect day.”

She sighed and returned to her normal composure.

“I’m sure he’ll thoroughly investigate Talon’s death,” she said. “Our scene may have convinced a bunch of flunkies at the Big Bobble but he’s no fool. Once he figures out that Tanner wasn’t responsible he’ll try track us down. We’ve got a lead but we’ll have to be more cautious. No one should underestimate the Hero of Relmgard.”