In my hometown, people live in courtyard houses, that is multifamily housing establishments that surround an inner courtyard. Just like in ancient china!

The only difference is that our buildings are multistory and made out of concrete.

[Quest: climb the 1000 step stairs leading to home pavillon]

Since the only elevator was broken by forces unknown five years ago, I have to climb the endless stairs leading to the 5th realm by my own strength. That too, is an important part of cultivation training...until I learn to fly on the sword, that is!

Imaging a jade beauty awaiting me at my destination, I huff and puff as I slowly utilize every breathing technique known to mankind, slowly making my way towards the very top.

My head is spinning and my thinking is all funny, most likely the effect of some kind of long-term spiritual damage sustained to my meridians by precise hits of that arrogant young master earlier today.

Gritting my teeth, I swear vengeance!!

I will kill his entire family and rape his sister and then make her fall in love with me and add her to my harem! If he has a sister.

[Quest successful! +5 climbing exp]

Finally, I knock on the door labeled 503, and I’m answered by the sound of broken glass and a litany of swear words.

Finally, the door open, and my lady mother, who is, unfortunately, no jade beauty, opens up. Cautiously, she leans it a little bit, just enough to see who is on the other side (in case it is some villain such as an imperial tax collector), and then seeing it’s just me, opens them wide and greets me with a wide grin.

In the past we tried to develop a password of sorts that would let her know it’s me without this entire ritual, but she is of frail body and frail memory and would always forget it the following day.

“Mishaaaa, yob tvoyu mat', the fuck happned to your face mwahahaha”

Her eyes are tinted red, which leads me to believe she was in the middle of her own meditative cultivation practice when I knocked.

Without saying a word, I get in, and she hurriedly closes the heavy door behind my back.

I walk to the fridge and open it up. Inside there are many medicinal herbs, concoctions, syrups, and powders. There is also a half-empty bottle of baijiu, and a lot of horse tranquilizers. My mother is an accomplished alchemist.

“Where food at?” I ask, even tho I already know the answer

“Ehehe, Mishaa, you knooww”

I know. Until the next tribute from the social security sect arrives, we will have to go hungry for a while.

I am already used to it. My family, although everyone was a devout cultivator, failed to achieve anything of note in recent generations. My grandparents were entered by devils and went up in their own flames, and my father is currently confined in the Netherworld for engaging in illegal demonic cultivation techniques common to the world of Lakes and Rivers, but unacceptable in the eyes of the arrogant Immortals who rule over this realm.

Thus, we are stricken by poverty and live fearfully in the shadows of our superiors.

However, the failings of my bloodline don’t discourage me. In every heroic epic, the main character starts out as underdog and rises up to the top!

Encouraging myself like that, I make my way to my secluded meditation chamber, where the personal computer is located.

Suddenly, a knock to the door. It’s my mother again!

“What now?” I ask, irritated. If there is anything Xianxia novels taught me, it’s that women are inferior to men, and shouldn’t disturb them during highly advanced meditation.

“You know..since you’re all bruised up…” she extends a pack of Ultram to me “mom was planning to eat it tonight, but she’ll share a bit with you~~”

I could feel tears pricking my eyes, and warmth infinite expanding in my heart. Though our clan was poor, we always look after each other.

Past irritation went away like 1000 Plum Blossom petals scattered on the wind, and love never-ending replaced it as my gaze affectionally caresses green-white medicinal capsules nesting within her palm.

“Mǔqīn…” I muttered and kowtowed on the dusty rug covering the rotten wooden plank floor.

“Ehehe...I dunno what that means”

Soon enough I swallowed whatever was left in the pack, and power unimaginable coursed through my meridians. Characteristic itching overtook my every hair follicle, a sign of qi coursing through my skin, and a new quest box soon appeared in front of my dilated red demonic pupils.

[Quest: Play Valgernon!]