After about an hour of hiking, we arrived at the castle’s front gate, which was closed. There weren’t any guards wandering about that we could ask to let us in, and I was getting very tired of walking.

We were standing on some kind of padding with an inscription identical to the one we’d seen underground. Maybe it was a welcome mat after all. Regardless, we were stuck with no way into the castle.

“So… any ideas?” I asked Sally, as he seemed to have a good deal of knowledge about this world, and I hoped he’d have a clue.

“I don’t know… but this whole situation does remind me of a song that I was taught as a kid.”

“Enlighten me.”

“Alright, I don’t remember it exactly, but it goes a little something like this:”

Do, Do do, Do do...

The Devil King is mean

He doesn’t have a cat

Look for the key

Find it under the mat

Do, Do do, Do do...

“Wow, I’m glad you remembered that. Wonder who wrote it.”

We followed the song’s instructions and found a large, though rusted, iron key, which looked like it had been there for centuries. I brought the key to a gilded keyhole that rested in the center of the gate, and turned it.

The same voice from earlier called out. “This is your final warning. I see you’ve found my key - let’s see how long that fortune lasts you. If you turn back now, however, I will offer a consolation prize for making it this far.”

“Sweet, I guess. What’s the prize?” I had no intention of settling for a consolation prize, but I was curious as to what he had to offer regardless.

“You’ll, uh, have to turn back to find out.” Whoever was talking clearly had no experience in public speech.

“I mean like… I could. But like, wouldn’t the real prize be cooler than the consolation thing?”

“There is no real prize. Only a consolation prize, and if you keep going you won’t get it.”

“Well you’ve gotta have it somewhere in that castle if you’re going to offer it at all, don’t you? Why can’t I just go in and take it?”

“Um,” the voice hesitated for a moment, “uh, it vanishes if you get close, until I cast my non-vanishing magic on it, which I can only do when nobody's looking.” The voice was clearly distressed.

“Huh. Does this castle have nothing of value at all, other than the consolation prize?” If this offer was real, and it probably wasn’t, there was no chance that I would accept anything resembling a consolation prize. It was obvious that there was a grand prize somewhere, and that he didn’t want me having it.

“Nope, nothing. Not even the castle itself is worth anything. You could get a castle just like it for free at any old auction house.”

“Oh. Well I guess I’ll just take this one then, if you don’t want it.”

“No, not this castle. It has, uh, sentimental value to me.”

“Well, then I’m sure it’d have value as ransom. And besides, I’d have to see the inside to know what kind of castle to look for at the free-castle-auctions, right?”

“Not really. I can… describe it to you from here if you’d like!” He spoke nervously.

“What about the first thing? Surely if I managed to overtake the castle, you’d want it back, right?”

“No, probably not. I was kidding about it having sentimental value before.”

“I guess I’ll go take it, then.”

“But you really shouldn’t. It’s not worth your effort.”

“I’m already here though. It doesn’t really take going out of my way or anything.”

There was a long pause.

“Oh, well before going in, you should probably know that there’s a rumor going around, and this is all just conjecture, nothing to tell the townsfolk about, but there’s a rumor... that the Devil King lives on the top floor of the main tower. Now, this all is purely hypothetical, but if he did live here, he’d probably kill you if you came in.”

“Oh, I’ve been looking for that guy. How lucky!”

Another pause.

“Well it’s more likely that he doesn’t live here though. I think you’d be better off looking in a different castle.”

“So then there’s no danger, right?”

“But there could be.”

“Right… I’ll be coming in then. Do you want me to knock?”

“No - I mean, yes - I mean, just don’t come in.”

“You’re being confusing. I’ll just take that as a no on the knocking.”

“Wait, give me a second to be, uh, presentable.”

We entered the castle, only to be greeted by a voice similar in timbre but slightly lower in pitch.

“Who dares enter?”