《I'd Like to Change My Reincarnation Subscription, Please》Ch125 - Goodbye Brownie
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Once Lucas finishes rushing his way through taking a leak and then washing his hands yet again, he hustles back to the dining area in hopes of defending his dessert from the unwanted affections of the meddlesome invisi-thief.
Exiting the hallway, he's just in time to see Miss Calculated standing up while quietly speaking with Lorelei.
Once Lorelei turns her back to Miss Calculated, so as to lead the way, Miss Calculated breaks out in a smile nearly rivaling Lorelei's. Well, at least in terms of the magnitude of her contented satisfaction.
As Lucas passes the two leaving ladies, all three of them collectively give a single nod of acknowledgment to the other party. As they've all seen each other rather recently, it isn't worth bothering to speak up in mere passing.
Continuing onward to his seat at the table, Lucas passes Willy, still merrily dozing across his two seats in the same position he was in when Lucas left.
What is different, however, is the fact that Jonathan is now sitting in Miss Chievous's seat, scooted over so as to be a bit closer to Miss Masher, engaged in storytime once again. The mostly eaten brownie is resting in front of Lucas's seat, largely ignored by the two.
However, it is by no means being entirely ignored. As a matter of fact, it is visibly shrinking, one invisible spoonful at a time.
'...She's sitting in my seat, isn't she?'
[Of course. I don't think she's physically capable of shoveling it down that quickly were she to be leaning over from Jonathan's seat.]
"Hey!" As Lucas loudly voices his dissatisfaction, Miss Masher and Jonathan are startled out of their conversation, Willy jumps awake, and Miss Chievous giggles while starting to eat faster.
"Bark bark!" Willy wasted no time in voicing his own dissatisfaction, even if he isn't entirely sure what the reason is.
Lucas hastens his last few steps over until he's standing direcly behind his chair. Not wanting to catch a handful of anything unexpected, he opts to instead lift the entire chair from the bottom of the seat, lifting it straight in the air until it's over his head.
At first, Miss Chievous gives a startled "Eep!" and drops the spoon on the table, which becomes visible once she loses contact with it. After taking a moment to process what's going on, she then starts giggling loudly.
"Hehehe, wheee!" Miss Chievous isn't shy about openly enjoying this impromptu amusement park ride, falling back into giggles as Lucas starts walking away with the chair lifted over his head, keeping her still balanced on it.
[...That is high enough that it would be hazardous if she were to fall off.]
'Tch, which means she'll actually sit still. And, I know, I know. I would have had no business doing this before my latest upgrade. But I've been holding it steady so far, even while I'm walkin', yeah?'
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[Hmm, fair enough. ...And where exactly are you taking her?]
'To the bathroom she was so interested in before!'
[...]
While Lucas parades his way back to the hallway he just came from, Miss Masher, Jonathan, and all three members of Thieves of Elsewhere are laughing hysterically.
As Lucas carries her past a previously unexplored side room, its door opens and Miss Calculated looks out, a questioning expression writ upon her face.
At first, her attention lands on Lucas's oddly serious-looking expression. After a brief pause, she then shifts her focus up to the strikingly empty-seeming chair he's holding up over his head, which is quite obviously the source of her twin's cheering.
Miss Calculated's visible confusion changes to understanding, and she quietly goes back into the room, firmly shutting the door behind her.
She knows all too well not to bother asking them what they are doing nor why. After all, their stupidity might be contagious, and it would be a tragedy if she were to be infected by it.
Lucas snorts out a bit of laughter thanks to Miss Calculated's deadpan reaction, but continues his journey otherwise uninterrupted.
Once they're outside the men's room once more, he shoves the door open with his right foot and quickly brings the chair down, still holding it steady so she doesn't lose balance. Once it's an arguably safe enough distance above the ground, he unceremoniously dumps Miss Chievous into the bathroom, intentionally dropping the chair on her in the process, and promptly turning around to leave once he's done so.
"There, enjoy the bathroom you were so curious about!" Lucas shouts this out while leaving the restroom once again, tugging on the edge of the door to cause it to quickly swing shut behind him, then dashing back towards the table bearing his awaiting dessert.
There's a noisy clatter of wood on the tile flooring behind him, accompanied by Miss Chievous laughing even harder from her new position on the floor.
Upon Lucas's arrival back at the table, Jonathan can't help speaking up when he notices the fact he is empty-handed, as well as no longer accompanied by a certain troublesome woman's giggling.
"Wh-where did you leave her?" Jonathan has a distinctly curious tone when asking this.
"In the bathroom! If I could've seen her, I woulda gave her a swirly while I was at it! Aww man, almost all the ice cream is melted by now..." As Lucas declares this, the five witnessing humans all break out laughing once more.
Willy is now sitting upright, and has been actively watching Lucas ever since he returned. Willy barks twice at Lucas while he's hooking Jonathan's previous chair over with one foot, heavily sitting down on it, and grabbing one of the clean extra spoons that 23 had brought out with the brownie sundae.
"Yeah, yeah, you're right. I wouldn't really have, but damn if I didn't want to… Oh man, this is so good…" Shortly after Lucas fesses up to the fact he was exaggerating, he begins his own version of melting after indulging in a few spoonfuls of sweet chocolatey tasty goodness.
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After a longer delay than Lucas had even initially hoped for, Miss Chievous's voice suddenly sounds out nearby.
"Excuse me Willy, you're done with that chair, right?" Once Miss Chievous finishes asking this, Willy barks once, shifting a bit to make sure all of his weight is on his original chair.
The second seat slowly backs up and starts sliding over next to Lucas, seemingly of its own accord.
"Don't you dare, it's mine!" Now it's Lucas's turn to pick up the pace of consumption, hunching over his plate while doing so.
One of the extra spoons resting nearby vanishes while Miss Chievous makes a low whine.
"Come on, just one more bite!" While she pleads for more, Lucas slowly slides to his right, away from the direction of her voice, dragging the plate with him.
Throwing in his support for his family, Willy barks twice.
Opposite them, Miss Masher is threatening the structural integrity of the table by slapping it while laughing, and Jonathan seems to be having difficulty breathing thanks to his hysterics.
The three Thieves of Elsewhere aren't in much better shape.
Lucas manages to shovel down most of what remains of the doomed brownie sundae. When there are only about two bites left, 427 suddenly speaks up.
[...She's about to reach in from your right.]
'I think not!'
Not wanting to make it too obvious, Lucas tugs the plate closer to himself as he scoops up the last little bit, managing to avoid her strike.
After a slight delay, the missing spoon reappears midair, thrown the short distance onto the table. With a "Hmph!" Miss Chievous noisily sits back down on the chair she had taken from Willy, still located between him and Lucas.
Snorting out a laugh, Lucas drops his own spoon down onto the plate and leans back in his chair, gently rubbing his slightly bulging stomach.
"Man, I don't remember the last time I had a meal like that…" Lucas contentedly muses out loud, and this statement serves to help the others in attendance finish trailing off their laughter.
"A-actually, that was, um, d-definitely a first. I don't think I've, um, ever been this full before in my l-life… Hehe, that was great." While Jonathan has a serious expression at first, he lights up with a bright smile by the time he finishes. Willy also joins in with a bark of agreement as soon as he's done speaking.
"Yeah… For real. Thanks, Xenoclast. Bah, I'm the only one using your guy's supe names, aren't I? Uh, thanks, L-lucas." As Miss Masher expresses her thankfulness, she finally passes the tipping point of wanting to make the first-name basis mutual.
"Mmm, yeah, it was good, thanks. I want a drinking re-match sometime, though!" Miss Chievous is far less humble in her appreciation, even sneakily slapping Lucas on the back once she's done.
"Well, if I have any say on the matter, it certainly won't be the last. Yer welcome, Jon, Willy, Marsha… But not you, brownie thief! And! When you lose again next time, I'm making you pay, Chi!" Lucas is fairly soft at first, but his tone immediately firms up as soon as he gets to Miss Chievous. He even makes a point of kicking her chair with his left foot, causing it to tip precariously. After a slight delay, though, it rights itself and lands normally.
"You're on! And it's Maria, geeze!" Miss Chievous has had ample evidence to discover Lucas's tsundere nature by now, thusly deciding on giving her name in his native language.
-----
Lucas total kills: 7
Lucas total deaths: 11
Lucas total assists: 1
Lucas current GDV: 12.40 (-.01 +.01 = 0 net change)
Lucas's fame level: 4.50* (Beyond just local, viral meme tier. Local levels are extremely high.)
Lucas's hero suspicion level: 2.5* (More than just passing suspicion for some paranoid individuals, people are realizing he's an impulsive idiot)
Jonathan total kills: 6
Jonathan total deaths: 2
Jonathan current GDV: 4.00 (+.01 net change)
Jonathan's fame level: 2.75* (Mostly just local)
Jonathan's hero suspicion level: 2.75* (A few paranoid individuals are suspicious)
Willy's fame level: 1.5* (Anonymous meme fame, local fame primarily as 'Xenoclast's dog', but some strangers know him as William/Willy now)
Supervillain social circle size: 11
-----
Little character theater:
Jonathan is similarly leaning back in his chair, rubbing his stomach. Like father, like son.
Willy has initiated big stretchums mode. Oh, and a huge yawn too.
Lucas and Miss Chievous have now started taking turns kicking each other's chairs, though it should be fairly obvious whose attacks are more effective.
427 is finding new ways of being amused by the two fools, even though their tipsiness is technically diminishing, as far as BAC is concerned: [I wouldn't be surprised if she randomly asks Miss Masher to carry her around on a chair like that in the future. Given her reaction, I don't think your actions really served as any sort of deterrent.]
Author, chuckling: The sister's parents weren't the most creative people when it came to names, there are multiple reasons they stick to their supe names for the most part.
Mr. Quacks is off in the men's room, taking a bath in the sink to clean off the chocolate sauce he managed to get all over himself: Quack.
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