"I must say, Sir Redrim. When I first had met you, I did not expect you to be such a courageous hero." The knight grinned at me and offered his hand.

I shook it. "I'm no hero," I told him. "I'm just a guy with recycled armor."

The knight let out a hearty laugh, and his comrades smiled at it.

They were all fine. Beat up, bruised, bloody. The knight's armor had been ruined. Large claw-shaped gashes had cut through to his skin, but with the help of his healer--and a little help from Vil--they all healed nicely. Though having killed an Ancient Dragon raid boss that was more than twice their level, they were still exhausted.

"I must thank you again, Sir Redrim," the knight said. "Had the fates not gifted us with your presence, surely that foul beast would've caught us unawares."

"Verily," I said.

"And as I promised," he smiled, "we will raid the villainous forest dragon cave and bring forth your share of the loot!"

"Appreciated," I said.

Honestly, I was getting bored of him at this point. I just wanted them to fuck off so I could dig into this dragon carcass. I was, after all, a recycler. And there were good things here to recycle.

The heroes gathered themselves and headed over to the cave. Watching them leave, I could see the extent of the carnage. The forest trees, as far as I could see, had now turned black, including the leaves. Beyond the smoldering ashes and burnt trees here and there, the trees beyond were fine. Alive, rustling in the wind, but black as the darkest night.

Strange.

I looked up at the body of the dragon. It was just laying there, one eye half-open, tongue hanging out.

"Let me guess," Vil said. "You want to eat that."

"I do."

He crossed his arms and shook his head. Still, he smiled. "Did you, by chance, unlock the Taste skill?"

"I did."

"Disgusting. You know that was a joke skill, right?"

Mining Mode activated.

My mining arms and hip lasers flipped out. I took aim.

"And how would you know?" I asked him.

"I was the officer in charge of the entire program, Redrim." He looked at me with a tilted head. "Why do you think we ended up fighting on the rooftop? I wasn't doing it for fun." He looked back at the dragon. "The engineers put the Taste skill in just to fuck with all the criminals we turned into trash cans." He snickered. "I can't believe you of all people would fall for it."

I shot my laser.

Bzzzzz--

"Well, I like the taste," I said. "It's grown on me."

"The taste of trash?"

+10,200 Earth Element

+10,200 Blood Element

+10,200 Blood Element

+10,200 Blood Element

"Yeah," I said. "It's just, I dunno, nice."

He chuckled. "I thought you ate Jessie's trash dinner just to be polite. And here, you actually liked it."

"As much as you liked that steak."

"I didn't like the steak. It was overcooked. I was just eating to be polite."

+10,200 Blood Element

+5,100 Blood Element

+1 Dragon Lung

+3,800 Blood Element

+1 Dragon Liver

+17 Dragon Scales

+1 Dragon Heart

New ability discovered: Heart of the Dragon.

New recipe unlocked: Dragon Oil

New recipe unlocked: Dragon Blood

New recipe unlocked: Dragon Scale Material

Finally! This was exactly what I wanted. As I continued to laser my way through the dragon's carcass, I mentally went over the new shit I got.

[Heart of the Dragon] Absorb and Reflect all non-melee attacks for 10s. 900s cooldown.

Now, this was useful. There were all sorts of incredible applications since, for some reason, I often found myself getting shot at. Now I had an answer to all those threats. It had a long cooldown, but fine. It would've been too powerful if it didn't.

I also checked the new recipes. Dragon oil was something that was highly conductive to mana. Dragon blood was just a cooking ingredient. Underwhelming. The last thing, Dragon Scales, was listed as a material and not as a crafting ingredient. Looking at the stats, I could see that it had an above-average density for its weight. This might be useful later.

--zzzt!

+246,000 Blood Element

+41,000 Fire Element

+32,800 Earth Element

+53,300 Water Element

+36,900 Air Element

+2,050,000 XP

+2 Levels [Level 39]

+2 Class Points

Hot damn, that was good experience. I wanted to eat the rest of it, but--urgh--I was at my encumbrance limit. To Vil's endless amusement, I had to scoot over to the tank like I had just shit myself. When I tethered to the resource reservoir, I dumped them in.

Tank Fuel: 449,000 / 460,000 ( F )

Resources:

2,407,800 ( E )

246,000 ( B )

53,300 ( W )

36,900 ( A )

I dusted my hands off to a job well done.

Vil stepped around the tank. He was studying the damage where the cannon array should've been. Now it was just metal twisted around like wilted leaves. "Say, Redrim. How about installing a firing mechanism for me to use the side turrets. I get bored just... driving."

I took a mental note. Not to make him more useful, but because it sounded awesome. This was, after all, my ultimate battle strategy. Less strictly effective and more strictly badass. "I'll look into it once we get back."

The heroes emerged from the caves, and even from this distance, I could see the sheer amount of loot inside. They were piling sacks and bags filled with glittering gold coins, and besides that, piles of old weapons.

We hopped in the tank and drove over. I was getting impatient.

"Aye, my friend," said the knight. "This was indeed a haul of hauls, worthy of even the gods themselves!"

"Is that so?"

He showed me an enchanted spear. It set off a gold and red shimmer in the light, and it struck out to me. No, I had seen it before. I held out my hand, he offered it, and I gave it a look over. The weight, the feel, the slight hum of this thing. Yes, there was no doubt. It was his spear. The spearman in my old party back on my quest to kill this dragon.

I tossed it back to the knight.

"Oh?" he said. "And here I thought you might do well with a polearm!"

"It's all yours," I said.

It took the better part of an hour to load everything up. We had bags tied to ropes, hung over the back of the tank, all filled with gold and jewelry and rare equipment. The heroes kept most for themselves. I had no issue. The enchanted weapons I couldn't use--I hadn't enough mana to enchant things without using potions--and money wasn't much of an issue either. I could always just sell ingots or something.

They did, however, offer a huge sack of gold. About 120,000 gold worth. Vil and I would split it, of course.

After wrapping the dragon's head in ropes and tying it to the back of the tanks--and after Vil made a shitty, 2 out of 5 pun about it--we took off to make our return.

It was uneventful. Another half-hour ride through the forests, and soon we found ourselves traveling down the main street of Forel.

The people stared in awe, mouth agape, some even cheering at the sight of a colossal dragon's head draggin' behind the tank. When we passed by the priest's area, they stared with pale faces and wide eyes.

The heroes dismounted, took their belongings--along with the draggin' head--and I continued on to the barn.

"I thought you wanted a share in the glory, Redrim," Vil said.

"I'll come back. I need to speak that asshole priest."

We parked back in the barn, and Vil got out to shut the doors behind us. Just when I did my post-battle checklist, Jessie kicked me in the shin.

"I'm hungry," she said.

I tossed her a sandwich and a bottle of water.

She stared up at me as she fingered open the sandwich wrapper.

I didn't look back. I had something else on my mind.

I climbed out of the tank, left the barn, and headed back up the street. The people were still cheering on the heroes, and they were headed to the fancy hotel on the far side of town.

I stopped at the old elvish temple, walked past the tents--ignored the pleading of nearby priests and priestesses manning the booths--and stomped around the back in search of my prey.

And I found him.

The slimy, creepy priest who sold me the mayo. He was smoking a cigarette in the back with another priest buddy of his, and when he spotted me, he nearly swallowed it.

"Oh! Uh, h-hello, good knight," he said. "I've heard of your victory, and--"

I slammed him against the building and pointed my fingers at his face in a sort of imitation knife-hand. "Speak, priest," I demanded. "You wanted them to die there, didn't you?"

He raised his hands in surrender. His buddy fucked off elsewhere. "N-no, sir, not at all! It's just that--it's just that I was so surprised, and—"

I gripped his throat. "It was a level 99 raid boss. They're hardly into their forties. There was no way in hell they'd beat it alone." I thrust him back into the wall and let go of his throat.

He rubbed his neck. "Okay, okay. Fine. You got me. It was a scheme, alright? It's all just a scheme," he hushed. "Those meddling little rats just killed the temple's main source of income. What the hell are we supposed to do now?"

"How is a dragon a source of income?"

His anger simmered, but he knew he could do nothing to me. "We send young heroes on impossible quests and let them die there. Typically, they travel with money and gear and horses, leaving them behind while they finish the quest." He laughed nervously. "This was the first time a group ever came back alive."

I stared.

"S-say, you won't tell anyone, will you? No harm, no foul, right? A-actually, why don't you join--"

I backhanded him. Blood splattered across the building. He groaned on the ground, shaking, and he felt the wound on his mouth.

I turned to leave.

Jessie stood there, watching.

I marched over, gripped her by the wrist, and I walked her back to the barn.

"Okay, I get it," I said as we crossed the street. "I can’t really keep you from escaping."

"Yes," she said.

"Back in the tank. That was you, wasn't it? You used some magic bullshit to help pull the turret over."

She said nothing.

I looked back.

Her face was... pink on the cheeks. Goddamnit, was she blushing? For fuck's sake, I didn't have time for this.

"I'll tell you," she said without looking at me. "During my… interrogation."