《Trash Knight: System Recycler: A litRPG Satire that No One Asked For》69: Real Heroes Never Get Ambushed
Advertisement
"How about Recycle Crew?" I said.
Vil shook his head from the driver's seat. We hit a bump, and the adventurers riding on the roof grunted. "Sounds terrible, Redrim."
"Guild Garbage?"
"No."
"Garbage Guild."
"That's the same thing, but in reverse," Vil said.
"I give up," I said.
"Good."
The silence in the tank returned, and there was naught but the hum of the engine. The adventurers rode above us, their conversations sporadic at first, happy and filled with life, but as the evening came to a close, they grew tired.
I had expected them to just follow us on horseback, but the temple had already stolen their horses and sold them off. Not only that, but those conniving little shithead priests even blackmailed them into giving the temple most of their loot. I had a mind to barge into the temple and recycle the flesh of everyone inside, but I knew that it would be unbecoming of an honorable Trash Knight.
Outside, the sun hung low on the horizon, and through the open driver's hatch, I could see the dull blue light of sunset around.
We hit another bump. The adventurers grunted above.
"Redrim," Vil said. "We should make camp soon."
"Why?" I asked. "We're only a few hours away."
"And a day too early," he said back. "We have time. We should rest well for once."
I considered it. Vil still hadn't gotten a good night's sleep since we had been running wild for days now. Besides that, I knew the adventurers above were getting tired from all the bumps, not to mention exhausted from the dragon raid, and I didn't want them rolling off the tank at this speed.
"Go ahead," I told him. "Find a good place for us to camp."
Advertisement
We rode for a little while longer, the sky got darker, and just before we were unable to see much in front of us, Vil pulled off the dirt road and into a wide grassy area.
I stuck my head out of the hatch to take a look around.
The dirt road sat on our left, and on the other side of it, a forest that thickened further in. On our side of the road was a wide patch of green fields with overgrown grass. On the far end, the forest spilled across the road, and the treeline was maybe 300 meters ahead of us.
"Ah, Sir Redrim," said the knight from atop the tank. "Pray tell will we be sleeping here tonight? We could indeed use a rest after today's battle."
"Verily," I said.
I shot a manipulator arm into a nearby socket to tether with the tank, and mentally I brought up the work order to make tents and food for everyone.
Vil squeezed past me to leave. "We need a night watch," he said. "We can divide our sleeping hours and work in shifts."
"I'll be the watch," I said. "I don't sleep."
Vil opened his mouth to speak, but we were interrupted by a deafening THOONNG!
It rattled the entirety of the tank and slammed me against the back wall. The echo faded, then silence.
No one spoke. The world was quiet.
Then, a distant puff of an explosion, and--
THOONNG!
I winced, opened my eyes, and spotted a large, gaping, perfectly circular hole in the front right of the tank. Was that always there? From the hole, I could see all the way down to the treeline, and there, hidden beneath the darkness of a tree, was a familiar shape.
A distant flash and a thump.
Advertisement
It was a tank!
An explosion slammed into us. The flames poured into the tank, dust plumed around, then the light of it expired.
Vil gathered himself in the smoking tank and tried to dig his way to the driver's seat. It was missing. The entire front of the tank had been shredded.
Outside, screaming. The adventurers were yelling about something, but I didn't hear. My mind had gone into full battle mode, and I had just loaded a Default-HEAT shell.
Vil squeezed by me to climb out of the hatch. "Retreat and regroup, Redrim."
"No," I said back.
He scoffed and jumped out of the tank.
I looked down the scope to aim. The treeline was too dark. I couldn't see shit.
"He's right," said Jessie. She was still cuffed, sitting by my legs. "At this point, you should escape."
"Shut up." I took aim.
Flashes in the distance. Several! It was more than one tank! Just as I pulled the trigger, we rocked with piercing tank fire. Their AP shells ripped right through the armor, punching holes through us like butter.
Bullshit.
My shot was off target. I tried to load a new round.
My left arm was missing.
"There's no point," Jessie said. "They got the jump on you. It was just bad luck."
"Bullshit!" I snapped back.
My tentacle arms shot out and loaded a new round. HEAT again.
A shell slammed against the turret. The clanging echo pulsed through me.
I aimed.
Click. No effect.
They got the main turret! Fuck!
Jessie snapped off her handcuffs and started to climb around me. "Die if you want," she said. "I wanna keep this body intact for a while."
I boiled over with rage. Through the shredded armor, I could see in the distance those enemy tanks. With each flash of gunfire, with each instant of light revealing their shapes, I could see that they were different. Sleeker. Bigger.
"Fine! Damnit!"
I reached in the crafting drawer, and took all 10 smoke grenades, then lobbed them around. They blanketed the area in thick smoke.
Another tank round ricocheted off the side. One punched through the front and out of the floor. A third thumped in the dirt nearby.
Molt.
I threw the tank in reverse as it shed its outer layer, then I turned and floored it. The engine coughed and sputtered, practically limping across the now-smoke-covered street, and I made it across, now weaving through the trees as I raced into the thick of the forest.
Once I found a spot covered with underbrush, I killed the engine and hopped out. Vil had caught up to me, and with some quick thinking, he cast a few earth spells to cover the tank with moss and ivy.
Back toward the road, the others hurried over. They were struggling to carry someone--the knight. He grunted in agony. His leg was missing, and blood poured from the wound.
Vil went over to help heal. They paused as they stopped the knight's bleeding, the healer put him to sleep, and they carried the wounded hero up to me.
"Redrim," Vil said. "Leave the tank here. You can make a new one if they find it."
I said nothing. I still simmered in anger. When they hurried past me, I followed.
The enemy's engines were roaring down the road now. They may come looking. They may not.
But through the thickness of the trees, I saw it as it blinked past.
A massive, colossal tank. Two or three times the size of my own.
It was a raid boss tank.
Advertisement
- In Serial127 Chapters
Eleknar's Heir, The Infernal Prince (Demonic LitRPG)
A LitRPG and Epic Fantasy adventure: The son of a mafia boss finds himself abruptly plunged into an alternate world where he must find a way to survive the horrors of a realm called Oblivion, make pacts with demons, form unnatural friendships, and figure out what the hell is going on – all while dealing with the depressing reality of his past. An artificial intelligence has ascended into godhood and has thrown Trey’s home into Chaos, pulling millions of people into an enchanted new life... or, in Trey's case, a violent nightmare. As far as he can tell, he is locked into what the system prompts call a ‘Death Game.’ Here, artificial reality is manufactured for the enjoyment of a being called the All Spirit, and he has a very real chance of truly dying. Just how real is this place though? Is it merely a simulation, a realistic game of life and death… or is it something much more? Elves, dwarves, undead, and other races only thought to exist in fairy tales are now a reality. Black magics, pantheons of gods at odds with one another, predatory symbiotes, and an unholy calling, the significance of which he has yet to grasp, are all entangled with his fate. ============================================ ============================================ Some things to expect when reading this book series: - Brutal storyline where no character is safe and choices have real consequences. Heavy on action, survival, and adventure - An isekai. The main character struggles to find himself, repeatedly crossing the line between good and evil as other important characters influence his life - Harem (explicit), though this only starts about 180k words in. - Good amounts of crafting, town building, and guild building later on - Good amounts of fantasy-related LitRPG stats, rank ups, and evolutions. Heavy focus on demons and black magics - There will be many points of view, but there is only one primary/main character that takes up 90% of the POV - A long storyline. Currently (as of 7/26/2021) I have about 1500k words written, though much of it will have to be heavily edited and re-written. I also plan to go far beyond 1500k words if people like the story (A lot of it is also in the 'backstories' book that explores the guildmates, the link is below) - Chapters will have an average of about 4k-5k words, a little longer than most other books on RR, though there will be exceptions for more and less. I just didn't like posting chapters that didn't feel complete, and 2k words often felt like too little. - If you like super-heroic and goody-goody characters, this story is not for you. ***Updated once a week***
8 309 - In Serial40 Chapters
Fireblight
A young fire elemental, Tya Maraise, has lived her life in isolation for some time while creating a human body to mask the fire within. After managing to create something sufficient that’ll allow her to blend, she begins the process of learning more about human behavior only to find herself dragged into a royal mess she wants very little to do with. [ Book Three. All books are standalone and do not need to be read in order. ]
8 158 - In Serial9 Chapters
Radioactive Evolution
The world as humanity knew it was gone. In its place was a radioactive wasteland, scorched by nuclear furnaces. The third millenium passed unmarked and uncelebrated by those in the safezones. The rich took to the oceans, and to the skies, leaving everyone else behind. Stranded in the isolated "safe zones", with no knowledge of the worlds above their heads.Igor Jonovich changed everything.Nanotechnology, long thought to be impossible, flourished under his genius. Even as the walls of their radioactive cage closed in, humanity pushed back, harnessing Jonovich's creations to explore the radioactive wastelands. To challenge the twisted creatures that lurked in the ashes of their former glory. Humanity thought they, at least, knew this scarred earth.It turns out even that was a lie.Yesterday Jared found a message hidden within Professor Jonovich's greatest work that changed everything.
8 155 - In Serial23 Chapters
World End My Life Start WEMLS
world end my life start or WEMLS It's the story of two friends that where studying when the world changed. What well happend to them? Will they survive? Stay as friends?
8 188 - In Serial6 Chapters
[TFF]Crack on a Highway (On Hiatus)
The Glamrock Animatronics decided that the only way they could get answers about their past was at Freddy-Land. Only problem is, how will they get there? Well they... In this story, Jon does not yet know about Bryan's death, and Bryan's death has not been publicly announced to the world. Molten is still acting as Bryan, and they still do not know of Bryan's or the other Glamrock's whereabouts.
8 156 - In Serial19 Chapters
The Crimes of Society: A Lady Gaga Story
The hate needs to end. Sometimes it seems as if she can't escape anymore. It's breaking her. She's done.
8 200

